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Not Getting Furious



Today was a reasonably good day overall. I was busier than a bee feeding on flowers watered with Starbucks, but it was reasonably good. Until:

I decided upon arrival home to take my old beast of burden out on the road (my old truck) which I had not driven in about 10 days (it was before the huge blizzard). I thought I would mosey across town and stop at a pipe shop I haven't been to in a few months before I looped further down to stop at the cemetary to visit my parent's grave. Well, once I got out of the pipe shop, the damn truck wouldn't start. There wasn't anything wrong with it mechanically, but there is a security sensor on the damn thing that sometimes acts up. When it does this, it shuts down the electricity to the distributor and shuts off the fuel pump. It is truly happenstance when this happens, and it has been better than a year since the last such occurrance. It typically takes 45 minutes to an hour for the system to reset itself, and then it starts like a charm.

But, in the past, this has always infuriated and angered me. And, it was -1 degree outside when this happened yesterday. It was a prime moment for me to sit in my vehicle and cuss a very blue streak at the vehicle, at the sun and the moon and at life in general. I have done this each of the ~10 times the damn truck has done this in the past. But I did not do this today. I could not simply go back into the pipe shop, as they had closed for the evening when I left. The area had no other stores that were open either. I could feel the anger start to well up in my mind. But then I took action:

First, I walked VERY briskly (without had or gloves, not having them in the old truck and not thinking of potentially needing them) three times around the block tin the old, run-down neighborhood of the pipe shop. It took my mind off the situation as I looked again at details of the neighborhood I had not observed in a few years. I then veered off into another block of the neighborhood and slowed my pace, and walked around observing while having a pipe. I then went back to the old beast, and knowing it was still too soon to try to start the damn thing, I sat in the truck and took out my finger rosary and prayed another five decades of the rosary and thought about how I wanted to be a better person, how I wished to do better things in the world, how I hoped to be stronger mentally and emotionally for my family, for my students, and for myself.

After finishing the five decades (I had prayed five decades as is my usual practice during my morning walk already), I felt enough time had passed, and so I tried starting the beast.....

AND.....

She started!!! And I went on my way.

The moral of the story: I am happy that I was able to control my emotions about this event. I am happy I did not get all angry and vehement about the situation. I am very glad I figured out ways to keep myself focused on the goals I hope for myself... to not get so easily riled up about nonsense, and to feel like I am working to be a better person. It felt like an important success to me inside.

PipeTobacco