What Will Happen?
Today is the 45th day of my pipe fast. Technically, my Lenten vow will be complete at NOON on Saturday (my 46th day of fasting). So, technically, I can begin smoking my pipe at NOON tomorrow.
I believe this will start the time where I will really know what will happen in regards to my smoking a pipe. Will I remain away, or will I bring the pipe back into my routine? In reality, I do not know what will actually happen.
One part of me does believe that I should simply quit, and never return to smoking a pipe. This part of me would like this outcome because it is better for my long-term health. It is also perhaps a way for me to show myself that I have fortitude to NOT do something that I admit I like to do. The "negatives" are that I may likely continue to WANT to smoke my pipe and will have to continue to put forth effort to not do so in this effort.
One part of me would simply enjoy going back to the way it was.... where I was smoking my pipe, and doing so as a "matter of course" as a part of my day-to-day life. It is a behavior/habit/hobby I am long accustomed to, so choosing this route would be easy enough to do. The "negatives" in this path would be the potential harm to health that may arise, and the antagonism from society at large.
A final part of me would like to become an "occasional" pipe smoker. This is a harder concept to define, and is probably full of challenges not ascribable to either of the other two potential paths. But, if I WOULD do it, I would think that smoking one or two bowls of pipe tobacco a week would be relatively low risk health wise, would receive minimal antagonism from society, would in some partial way keep me in the pipe smoking "club" so-to-speak, and would in some small fashion speak to a degree about "fortitude" a trait I admire and wish to foster. But, in a realistic view.... I do not know if I could successfully adopt this path and keep my pipe consumption realistically to this level.
+ + + + +
So, the above three ideas are what I am contemplating. I am thinking about them, but I am not sure how my feelings will end up being shaped by the conclusion of Lent. Will my resolve stay the same as it has been during Lent (suggesting the first idea could be continued)? Will my resolve evaporate immediately after the end of Lent (suggesting the second idea)?
I *think* I should be able to continue to refrain for at least some time following the conclusion of Lent, but I think the pressures of my desire for a pipe are likely to intensify when Lent is finished, and I am not sure if my resolve will be as strong without the obligation of Lent for me.
+ + + + +
I realize a lot of my writing is just so many words and folks likely grow tired of my pitiful efforts. I do know in the greater scheme of things I am only a minor character in a minor journey and nothing of which I write or think about or do has much if any real impact. But, it is where my mind is at currently, and it is what I *do* think about.
We shall see what happens.
PipeTobacco
7 Comments:
Option 3 sounds like a decent alternative, but maybe give yourself the option of more than twice a week. Or am I leading you into temptation?
Who would you be kidding to have an occasional pipe? Sounds like, "I will only have one, after meals," and a multiple number of other little promises I made to myself on the many times I tried to quit. Man, I lied to myself, or was it the devil making me think these things? Like an alcoholic, it's pretty much all or nothing, there is no such thing as occasional ...
It's really none of my business and I shouldn't give a hoot what you do, but I do. It's your body. It's no skin off my nose at all, except for the fact that I know what could be coming and I personally know what could lie ahead.
I used to say there was no one as irritating as a smoker who quit. Sorry, but I tried, only God knows how many times ... Success is not guaranteed, it's one of those. "If at first ..." things.
Have a wonderful Easter with your family!
AC & Sharon: I agree with you that the "occasional" route is likely doomed to failure. I listed it only because it has been something I WISH I was strong enough to do, not that I really thought I could do it.
I don't grow tired of your efforts!
You haven't given up if you are still taking about it. That's a good thing!
We are rooting for you, Pipe.
I enjoy your writing. It's about "Everyman." THere is a bit of "Everyman" in all of us, so I am sure I'm not the only one who looks forward to your writing about "to be a pipe-smoker or to not be a pipe smoker." I have the same struggle with sugar, and I lied to myself about it again today, for the 13456th time. . It's "one is too many and the whole box is not enough", a kind of "deja-vu
all over again" things.
By all means, take care of your health. From what you write about your running, and your maintaining a healthy weight, you seem to be doing that. Please consider that you could as a pipe smoker live to age 97 like Bertrand Russell, and that pioneering jogger Jim Fixx died at 52. It's not as if your pipe smoking requires you to eat five pounds of sugar and sit in front of a television for 12 hours daily. If you take very good care of your health in other ways, pipe smoking may be among the least of your health worries.
We also know that stress is a big factor in health and longevity. Ironically enough, in reading your posts, I would guess that "stress about pipe smoking" is for you a greater health risk than is pipe smoking itself.
Might there be some way to combine your plans, and perhaps allow yourself unlimited pipe smoking within some severely limited physical or ritual space? Maybe there are two chairs in which you could allow yourself to sit and smoke, but you could forbid yourself the pipe everywhere else? Or maybe there's a room that could become your smoking room? Or maybe you have some article of clothing that would be your "smoking wardrobe"? If by doing something like this you could gain the psychological comfort of having "limited" or "managed" your smoking, maybe you could relax more about being a pipe smoker? Then, you could adjust your pipe smoking by adjusting your ritual, and not be trapped in the all-or-nothing "pipe smoker vs. non-smoker" dynamic.
I've written a blog post inspired by one of your earlier posts.
Good luck with the pipe smoking decision.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home