Rorschach Test

While I have interest but only tiny bit of background in psychology (I am actually a biologist), I have always been curious but not particularly understanding of how to interpret a Rorschach Test.  In the classic image above, I tend to see what to me appears to be a "bird" perhaps with broken wings.  But, how to draw meaning or significance of my perception of that image is illusive. 

Today has felt like a somewhat illusive day emotionally.  That may be a good thing or it may be a bad thing.  Here is what I have felt:

1.  In looking for positives to focus on, my primary focus has been on my kids and how much I love them.  In my best moments, I do believe that I do work very hard FOR them and try to be what they needed, need, and wanted or want in a Dad.  In my worst moments, I see and feel each and every failure of my effort to be their Dad.  Sometimes the realization of how so damn often I utterly ail in being a father or really in being anything just crushes and asphyxiates me.

2.  I am also appreciative for the rusty, but trusty old companion truck I drive around in day-to-day.  It is not fancy, but it is comfortable.

3.  I am so thankful for eyeglasses.  With my myopia (from age of 7) and its severity..... I cannot fathom how different my life would have developed without glasses.  Without glasses, the world is nothing but a very hazy, non-descript whorl of colors once I move beyond a foot or two.  I sometimes relax by taking off my glasses and viewing the world as if it were my own private Monet painting..... only made by Monet when he was in a particular rush and paid less attention to details. :)

* * * * *

Today has been one of those days where the yearning for a bowl of delightfully tinctured burley leaf has been EXTREMELY strong.  As I tried to do various paperwork between lectures, my mind would inevitably drift to thinking about and imaging my pipes and indulging in their charms.  It is so interesting how the degree of yearning fluctuates.  Sometimes the yearning is mild, sometimes strong, and this day... I would classify it as being elephant level in strength.  Every fiber of my mind seems to desire my indulging.

An interesting day to say the least.... spinning wheels.... or perhaps a bird with a broken wing.

PipeTobacco