Emotions About Work
I believe that my being on the verge of getting into a bad mood is because whether or not I wish to do so... I am going to have to interact with these two people briefly this afternoon. Life is much easier and less troublesome when I can just avoid them. But that is not my lot today.
Again, although I believe all of you have heard this before, is my working description:
Person A.... Person "A" is an individual who is what I classify as a "USER". She is very good at "putting on a face" of pseudocaring, pseudorespectful behavior when she wants to.... but it is really a mask that she wears to deceive a whole helluva lot of folks around here. In reality, she manipulates others to change things around in the Department to suit HER desires, and doesn't give a thought or care to how any of her sh*tty behavior hurts others.
Person B.... Person "B" is an individual who has been one of my oldest and closest friends here at the U. But this person has one trait that is challenging.... she is a "FOLLOWER". She has always done this the whole time I have known her. But, it was not much of an issue previously because she "followed" folks who were kind-hearted, caring individuals. I did not always agree with Person "B"s ideas about things because sometimes I would disagree with the ideas put forth by the person she was "following".... but it wasn't a huge deal.
Unfortunately, now Person "B" has started to "follow" Person A.... lock, stock, and barrel.... and because I disagree with Person A's ethics and behavior.... Person B now considers me "persona non grata" ..... because I do not like her current Svengali.... Person A.
Just STATING how I feel about those two, like I did in the above helps me feel a little bit calmer.
PipeTobacco
2 Comments:
Kind sir, you are obviously sincere in your desire to please other people, as you have even been willing to set aside your beloved pipes to please others even while lamenting the loss personally. Surely "being nice" to two jerks is less of a profound personal sacrifice than setting aside your pipes, yes? You are giving up your pipes to please people like Persons A and B, so why not exercise your Catholic muscles and find other ways to please them?
As for the office intrigue, all I can suggest is that you operate with maximum openness. What's the harm in letting Person A get what she wants, as long as the rest of your department also wants her to get it? If her behavior hurts others, surely they are aware of that hurt, yes? If you are "covering" for her, I suggest that you stop covering, and that you start placating her openly, until/unless her other colleagues implore you to stop, in which case it would no longer be just you against her. If you deal with her with full openness, shouldn't that greatly reduce her ability to deceive and manipulate and make YOU look like the bad guy? If you make sure that Person A's dealings are out in the open, and if indeed her ethics are questionable, why not help your colleagues ask those questions? Obviously I don't know the particulars, which may render the above worthless, but perhaps it's a start or at least one way to think about the problem.
Pat.... again, you are correct. By the way, I did do as you had earlier suggested and do an act of kindness in an anonymous fashion for both of those two. It did help me to feel a bit better. I think that is a very helpful strategy for me to try to eventually get my distrust and dislike for them to dissipate.
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