Strong, Weak, Foolish... or All Three
Sometimes I do not know how to view myself, or perhaps more precisely, I do not know how I *DO* view myself.
Am I "strong" because I have gone roughly 25 months now without smoking my pipes and pipe tobaccos?
Or, am I "weak" because even though I have refrained, I do think VERY OFTEN about my pipes and spend a fair amount of time imagining smoking them... or reminiscing about when I did smoke them?
Or, am I "foolish" any myriad of reasons.... perhaps Covid-19 is going to get me anyway so I should smoke, or perhaps I think too damn much already, or just because about most things in life I am a damn old fool anyway.
Or is it all three?
PipeTobacco
7 Comments:
Such a conundrum.
Your brooding and self-doubting nature suggests to me that you will find a way to be unhappy about any choice you make.
So, only you can determine which is the better choice:
(1) enjoying your pipe-smoking dreams, and your happy memories of contented times spent as a pike-smoker, while being unhappy that you aren't continuing that happiness in your present waking life, or
(2) returning to your beloved pipes, enjoying your memories, your pipes, and your tobaccos, while being unhappy that pipe-smoking makes you a social pariah in some circles.
I suppose that if social distancing is going to become an ongoing phenomenon in society, you could take up some stinky Latakia blend and not need to worry about too many people coming close to you.
On the other hand, if you are refraining for health reasons, I assume you have stopped driving your car and eating fatty foods, as either of those behaviors is at least as risky to your health as is pipe-smoking.
What would it take for you to be able to relax and be happy with yourself, professor? If you can figure that out, the rest should follow easily.
Pat:
“What would it take to relax and be happy with yourself..?”
That is a profound and strong question. I am not sure if there is an answer. Perhaps it is an image part of my wiring? Or is it something that I need to work on to figure out? I do not really know. I wish I did know.
As far as driving.... Covid-19 has limited my driving to only once so far in two weeks. I do anticipate returning to driving more frequently again when this is over.
As far as fatty foods.... they have been nearly eliminated from my diet... for well over a dozen years as it was my major re-education of myself when I became determined to strive for a normal BMI. I was at one time a 39 BMI and now have been at about 22.5 for about a dozen years.
Thank you for your comments and ideas, Pat. They always give me many things to think about in my effort to try to become a better, kinder person.
PipeTobacco
In the above... “image” was meant to be “ingrained”. Damned autocorrect changed it and I did not notice. I have not yet figured out how to turn off autocorrect on my phone.
PipeTobacco
My reaction to your question is unquestionably that you are strong for having quit - and stayed quit - of smoking for so long. Bravo! Living with a smoker who is trying hard to quit, I understand at least somewhat how hard it is to do. Even though his habit is cigarettes, not a pipe, he has a strong psychological addiction to the act of smoking (his words, not mine).
Yes, you are a perennial thinker. Is that so bad? I don't think so.
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