Trying to Do the Right Things

Even though my emotions are still roiling all over the place from moment to moment, and even with the range of stresses I am still being buffeted by, I am trying to force myself out of the things I am experiencing and feeling.... and force myself to do what I SHOULD be doing, what I SHOULD strive to do to work to be a kinder, gentler, more thoughtful person and a servant to others.  If I can work to capture those emotions of feeling like I am doing a good job, then that can ameliorate some aspects of the other hardships.  I do not feel up to writing about the harsh emotions I felt during the last few weeks today.  I am, for the moment, just trying to live in the "now" of feeling rather "average."

I have also FINALLY, forced myself to write and submit an abstract for a research presentation at one of the national meetings I often attend.  It is being held in Atlanta in July of this year.  It will be the first travel meeting I attend since the start of Covid (It is also the first of the research societies I attend that is HAVING a face-to-face meeting instead of virtual.... although many others are planning their meetings to be in person this year as well.).  I do have a fair amount of trepidation about what a) Covid may be like this Summer, and b) what air travel will be like.

I was at the indoor track this morning the moment I could get inside.  I was fortunate to have NO ONE ELSE on the track the whole time I ran my 10 miles, so I did not have to wear a mask.  On this track, 10 miles = 90 laps, and the running of circles can be rather tiresome.  But, for the first half, I listened to the Capuchin Daily Mass from yesterday, and for the second half I listened to my Catholic Music Radio on Pandora while I prayed the rosary.  I am thinking that by April 20th or so, it *should* be light enough outside..... early enough in the morning.... that I can begin running outside while still having enough time to get ready for heading to the U for work.  

I have been feeling a fair amount of rather disjointed thoughts about my pipes and pipe tobaccos.  Occasionally I am finding it to be "just a day" where I end up not thinking too often about my pipes and pipe tobaccos (only a few times during the day.... other than while falling asleep).  Other days, they are a continual thought in my mind during most of the day.  Although my memory of dreams I have at night STILL have not returned (to my chagrin), every night after I turn off the light from reading a bit, I allow my mind to conjure up a memory of smoking a particular pipe or pipe tobacco.  These thoughts and recollections help me to feel a sense of tranquility and I fall asleep with ease.  

PipeTobacco