IMS

There is a medical condition called "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" (IBS) that fortunately I do not have.  But this morning, I had what I am coining IMS ("Irritable Mind Syndrome").  I woke up at 4:45am feeling grumpy, sad, and out-of-sorts.  

Why?  Well....

• I woke up ahead of my alarm by 15 minutes.  So?  Well, it was too little time to go back to sleep without likely feeling groggy. 

• I also was not feeling sleepy, so just going back to bed for 15 minutes and potentially feeling groggy sounded like a really bad thing to even try.  

• In the "olden times" this would not have been a problem, for I could easily make it be a surprise  "festival" of sorts, by having an unanticipated, very early morning pipe.   When this would occasionally occur, it felt delightful!  Unfortunately, this route is not feasible now. 

• In "modern times" this could be a time where I could simply start my run early.  This would be "ok" and I have done this a few times when the weather is nice.  Unfortunately, the weather is horrific (lots of ice/snow, dangerous windchills (~ -20 F ; ~ -29C), dark skies that are more pitch black than a cup of the most robust cup of coffee).  And, equally unfortunately, my indoor track I do run at does not open until 6:00am. 

• So, I ruminated.

• I ruminated about how I was sad that a Department friend was retiring officially this week.

• I ruminated about how this friend started at the U two years AFTER I did.

• I ruminated about how this friend was my age (technically, ~1 year older than me). 

• I ruminated about how he could retire because his wife is a medical doctor who has a very $$$ lucrative $$$ medical practice.... so, he isn't particularly concerned about finances related to social security, retirement, health care, etc.

• I ruminated about how I do not feel ready to retire, and I want to teach and do research.... but how I sometimes feel alone with so many of my FRIENDS from the Department and overall the U being gone.

• I ruminated on the four FRIENDS in the Department who had the tragic, unexpected deaths I have written about before.  

But none of that was doing me any good.  But my mood was so, so very sour.  Eventually, when it was close enough to time, I grudgingly dressed and laced up my sneakers, and drove to the track, getting there a minute or two after it had opened.  

 

I stomped out the damnable miles (today, 10.4 miles (~17 km)).  At first I was very angry and disheartened.  But I listened to a Capuchin Mass for part of the run and prayed my rosary.  While doing both of these, I tried as best as I could to force myself to stop the damn ruminating.  Eventually, I had been stomping around enough that I started to feel the efforts of my exertion and this EFFORT in running helped me to ignore those harsh thoughts.  I felt less ornery.  I was even (after finishing the Mass and Roasary) able to focus my thoughts....  at the tail-end of my run on beautiful, pleasant, pipe smoking memories. When I had finally clomped out the last of the mileage and was moving into the stretching room, I felt more calm and serene.  As I stretched as many of my foot and leg muscles as I could muster into elongating... I worked to continue the calm serenity by keeping my imagination on beautiful pipe smoking memories.  

 

With the above, I was able to leave to head back home, get ready for the U,  and to have a normal day.  

 

* * * * *   
 

A couple of brief comments about recent comments the last couple of days:

 

• I am still trying to stay steady and commit to a minimum of 50 miles a week running  (~80km).
• I do think Pat may be correct in that I have the "soul" of a pipe smoker. 
  
• Yes.... the first few days back are the hardest.... getting your voice used to "big speaking" again, and the need for especially strong "animation" in lecture styles to invigorate students.... both are taxing during the early semester period where the "calluses" are reformed to make it easier.  
• We received ~10 inches of snow (~25cm) in the storm this past weekend.  It was heavy and wet snow.  I am damn lucky I plowed when I did because overnight, the DEEP FREEZE occurred and all the went snow turned to solid ice.  It would have been hell to try to shovel after we went so far down in temperature the next day.  

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