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Not Exactly Ill, But...

I am not sure what is wrong with me at the moment. I do not have any full symptoms of illness, yet I am feeling a tiredness and lethargy and lack of motivation that is aggrivating. My general mood at the moment is that of being touchy and feeling grouchy . This is one reason I went to work especially early this morning, so as to not spread my mood to others if possible. I have been holed up in my back, back office and have the lights to the lab and my outer office turned off so no one knows I am here.

I had planned to go up North to attend deer camp, but that fell through because of issues here locally... mostly due to illnesses in the family that took precidence. As the male in the family, even with all the talk about equality and equal treatment, it is not so. When push comes to shove, as the elder male, the responsibility for any crisis in the family lands upon my shoulders. No matter how it alters my plans, my goals, it is my duty and responsibility to handle those situations.

While sometimes I wish it were not so, and while today at least it makes me feel grumpy and ornery, my role is set, the constant barrage of needs is never ending and I might as well buck up (sarcastic pun intended) and do my damndest for my family. Do not get me wrong, I love them dearly with all my heart, but my inner self feels like a captive prisoner at times like these.

PipeTobacco