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Death Weighs Heavy

Today has been a hard day. I have felt like crying and have done little but sleep. Thoughts of death loom around me. My elderly mother has been having more difficulty with her edema from congestive heart failure. She slept most of the day on Wednesday. I am very fearful that we may be heading again to the hospital again.

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Looking back on life today, I see very little joy. All I can see is a struggle that inevitably leads to our death. There are several famous and not-so-famous people I have been thinking about of late, and they have all been people I admired. They are all dead:

Nigel Bruce - the quintessential Dr. Watson, who passed away in 1953. I remember hearing of his death when I was a youngster. It was very sad.

Ernest Hemingway- his suicide in 1961 was harsh and traumatic to me.

William Faulkner - his death in 1962 so shortly following Hemingway was another blow to my psyche.

John Steinbeck - completed the third of the trio of hugely important American writer deaths when he died in 1968. His work "Travels With Charlie" was especially moving to me.

Sebastian Cabot - a character actor who passed away in 1977.

Victor French - a strangely charismatic character actor who passed away in 1989.

My own beloved father in 1994.

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There are countless others of course. Yet the above list highlights the thoughts of death I was reliving yesterday as I worked through my worry and grief. The list itself likely has no meaning other than those individuals were the ones I was thinking about as opposed to others I could have thought about.

I do not know where I am going with this damn post anyhow. I think I shall just stop it here for now. Perhaps a good nights rest will change my outlook.

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A brief P.S. to G@P... I am sorry sir, I was not up to posting about my gifts today. I shall try to do so tomorrow.

PipeTobacco