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How Did I?

Something that I am sure happens, but I cannot recall how, is that when someone we loves has died, we do eventually figure out a way to carry on. I know that this occurred after the passing of my father, and it occurred after the passing of two uncles and an aunt... each of whom was very special to me. But I do not know how I became able to carry on.

I suspect that some form of amnesia develops in our mind that causes us to forget or at least put away that feeling of harsh horror that follows the passing of someone we love.

Part of me thinks perhaps this "amnesia" is required for us to cope and survive, but at the same time, I feel deep seated resistance to this idea in regard to my beloved mother... I do not want her to become diminished... I do not want her to become "tucked" away into just a small little creavice in my mind. I want to keep her vivid and real and current with me.

I do not know what to think. Perhaps more tommorrow.

PipeTobacco