The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Monday, July 26, 2010

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Emotional....



This weekend found me becoming lost in a pit of sad emotions. The initial aspect of my sad feelings arose after speaking with my wife on Saturday. She has been feeling very emotional for aa few weeks now because her efforts to lose weight and exercise have not been fruitful. This has put her on edge for quite a while, but then she coupled it with worry about her work as well.

Unfortuntely, the two barreled approach to emotions broke through my own external skeleton protecting me from my own thoughts and worries. I know it may sound foolish, but I am just not interested in gearing up for the b*llsh*t that goes on at my work. Summer has been a decent repreive from probably 90% of the crap, and the idea that it is roughly only one month away came to my realization full force after seeing my wife become so emotional.

When I was in Toronto at a recent conference, I attended Mass at a cathedral in that city. The homily really struck home with me because it focused on BALANCE. Balance in all aspects of life. The idea that there needs to be at least in my case, a LIMIT for work, a GUARENTEE of adequate play, a GUARENTEE of adequate rest, a GUARENTEE of spending time with family, and a GUARENTEE of adequate spiritual/philosophical thoughts. I need to figure out a way to keep WORK at WORK this upcoming year. I need to use my time effectively for work, but then to LEAVE IT at the office so I can have a full and sustaining life that is NOT WORK.

Part of me wants the above and wants to strive to attain it and have the balance be my goal. But another part of me is so damn sick and tired of trying to adopt and acquire new goals every minute that I am also balking at the idea.

On another front, I am in the process of donating my mother and father's last car to a charity. It pains me to do so. I have kept the vehicle, perhaps driving it 6 or 7 times in the three and a half years since my beautiful mother passed away. But, the vehicle is taking up enormous space, it is cluttering my home when both my wife and I are struggling to declutter our home of so much STUFF. I feel such mixed emotions about getting rid of their vehicle. But I really think I must.

PipeTobacco

4 Comments:

Blogger MRMacrum said...

Balance always finds itself. You just need to accept the ride.

Monday, 26 July, 2010  
Blogger Leaking Moonlight said...

"Perhaps" is scary wonderful. I empathize and offer congratulations.

(I am taking baby steps.)

Monday, 26 July, 2010  
Blogger BBC said...

When I was in Toronto at a recent conference, I attended Mass at a cathedral in that city.

Are you fucking insane????

Follow your own spiritual path, organized religions don't have anything to offer you....

Monday, 26 July, 2010  
Blogger austere said...

last night when I was taking my last walk of the day in a monsoon deluge, I remembered you... did you get hiccups?

Tuesday, 27 July, 2010  

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