The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

I Miss You

I miss you, Mom.  This is the eighth Mother's Day since you passed away.  I so wish you were here physically in my day-to-day life, and I hope you are with me spiritually every day... although I do not know... I do fervently hope you are. 

I learned and became much of who and what I am through your guidance, and I owe you such gratitude in addition to my ample love.  You would be 86 years old now,  and you could be here in body, but your heart did not allow you to be.  I tried with all my knowledge and understanding to advocate for you in the healthcare aystem every step of the way during the last decade you were with us, but eventually even my care and my efforts to keep you as healthy as possible and to navigate through the myriad of problems with the healthcare system given your medical issues was not enough and I failed.  I am sorry, and I wish I could have been better.  

Today, though, I want to think about the joys we were able to experience even during those years of decline.  I especially recall fondly you and I working together to allow you to make your traditional fruitcake and cookies for the last Christmas before you passed away.  I cut a lot of corners at work to get to be able to be with you for that, and I am so glad I was there.  The smiles and the gentle laughter we shared as we baked is a feeling and memory I try to keep vivid in my mind and in my heart. 

I love you and I miss you each and every day,



Blogger BBC said...

Just get over it, everyone dies and we are getting to the top of that pile, there will come the day when you can't keep yourself alive any longer so enjoy life the best you can for now.

Her spirit is always with you.

Tuesday, 13 May, 2014  

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