One of Those Days
It was one of those days.... it seems that often Saturdays ARE often like this. My lack of structure, my lackadaisical attitude, my limited focus.... all lead me to want to sit around, idly smoking my pipe.... bowl, after bowl, after bowl.... just to while away the hours.
What I should do is figure out some detailed organizational plan that I would want to accomplish... something that would give me a goal and an endpoint for the day in something I would WANT to do. But, to be frank, by the time Saturday rolls around the last few months, all I want do is get the hell away from the U and do nothing.... it has seriously been that damn busy, each-and-every single day.
Sh*t, I know that half of you think I am a lazy *ss, but I wish there were a way to show you that the notion of most professors being lazy is truly bullsh*t. I do work awfully damn hard, and sometimes I think I am working TOO DAMN HARD..... and for what? A bunch of grief usually.
So, my slovenly, unfocused Saturday is going to be a challenge for me, for what had been a part of my cultural "heritage" was to smoke, and smoke, and smoke, and smoke my pipe, again, and again, and again, if I was bored, or unfocused, or just feeling tired and lazy. My "new norm" does not permit that (except on Fridays). So, since it is Saturday, I am just sh*t outta luck, I guess.
Technically Lent ended today at noon, so I could be smoking my pipe right now without having to worry about my Lenten vow... I DID DO AS I SAID I WOULD DO. But, now, I am trying to keep this seven week habit I established, going far longer. I think it is a good, real, choice, and I have proven to myself I can do it if I put my mind to it. I like smoking more than before, and I like the feeling of refraining for 6 days out of seven as well. It is just that once in a while a day is pretty damn hard, like today.