Day 15

My laptop has been acting up at home so I lost a few posts over the last few days.  Hopefully today the post will upload.  Apologies for typos, because the last two posts I lost were during my checking for typos, so I am not doing that today.

I just returned from my 5 mile run and I feel good.  I am glad that is done for the day.  It was enough above freezing that the trail was completely free of ice and I was able to run OUTSIDE without any worries!  I know that snow is in the forecast so I will end up being back inside again, but it was so much nicer running outside.

I have made it 15 days today without a pipe.  I sure do miss smoking a pipe.  I, however feel I am doing well with my Lenten vow.  I have not had any pipe tobacco in 15 days, which in the greater scheme of like is nothing spectacular, granted.  But, it is pretty damn good for me.  I have allowed myself the option to use the lozenges or the e-device up to the four times a day that I spoke of earlier. However, I really dislike both items, and have utilized them only when I have felt shaky in my resolve.  They do seem to take a tiny bit of the edge off of my longing for a pipe when it is especially challenging.  But, in no way, shape, or form are they "fun or pleasurable" like I have always found my pipes to be.  That is probably a good thing, even though I still ponder what is the difference?  It is something beyond the nicotine and beyond the rituals etc.  But what is different, I am not sure.

Even though I have a bit over a month of relative "safety" in terms of Lent.... meaning I think that I want to complete my Lenten vow successfully, which will help my resolve.... I think I need to decide on my goals for after Lent as well.  I know it will be very easy and very tempting to pick up a pipe after Lent, but in terms of long range goals, I would like to quit completely.... but a very large part of me does not want to quit as well.... and quitting forever makes me feel sad and nervous.  I need to think this through more during the relative safety of Lent.

PipeTobacco