10 Months
It has been 10 months now since I smoked a pipe. (Yawn).
Unlike with my efforts to walk and then to run where the increasing days, weeks, months, and even years have helped me to feel motivated to continue.... I do not feel much about reaching this 10 month milestone in regards to giving up the pipe.
I had hoped I would feel positively... and that it would spur me on to seek to keep the number increasing. Do not get me wrong... I do not feel overly negatively either. I just feel indifferent. I feel nothing much about it. I do not really care that I have gone 10 months with refraining.
So, I really do not know how to view this. Overall.... I know it is good from a health perspective to refrain. I also know that there are several days I only think about a pipe perhaps 4-5 times a day. And, many times the thoughts are NOT the deep longing pangs of desire I had initially.
But, sometimes the desire is there. Sometimes it is strong.
It is confusing as hell to me. Once in a while I think to myself... Could I have a bowl of pipe tobacco now and just leave it at the one time? Or would one bowl start a renewed cascade of desire that would make me start over from ground zero? And, if that were the case, would I simply end up going back to my original pattern? I really cannot say what I would feel/do in that instance.
I really wish I felt more enthusiasm about having reached the 10 month milestone. If I felt enthusiasm, it would be easier to build upon it. Oh well.
PipeTobacco
5 Comments:
I'm betting on the "renewed cascade." Our brains seem to be wired to make it all too easy to throw "everything-in -moderation" out the window.
what's the mystery, it's tough to quit smoking.
if it was easy, no one would smoke.
Remember that tobacco is an insidious drug that screws with the chemicals in your brain...which might be why you're not feeling enthusiasm yet.
Pipe smoking is a comfort and it is more than the a need for tobacco - I have my pipe and a pouch of tobacco beside the computer and that is somewhat of a comfort.
the Ol'Buzzard
This is very interesting. My husband is now trying to cut down on cigarette smoking because of finances. I think he will feel better for it, but I don't believe he will keep it up when finances return to normal. The feel-good chemicals are just too strong for him. As Billy Pilgrim said above, no one would smoke if it was easy to quit.
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