11 Months
It has now been a FULL 11 months since I have indulged in one of my briar pipes filled with delightfully robust, richly umber-brown crumbles of tobacco leaf. Basic thoughts:
1. I still feel utterly indifferent to the "accomplishment". I keep hoping that continuing to progress and increase that number would invigorate my passion and resolve to refrain. But... I still only feel indifference.
2. There are days when I do not think about my pipes or pipe tobaccos.
3. There are days when I do think about my pipes and pipe tobaccos in a general sense.
4. There are days when I do want to indulge in a pipe.
Every so often, the thought creeps into my mind that.... hey, perhaps I could indulge in one or two bowls of pipe tobacco just to recall old times. Or just as a special treat. Or to remember a relative or friend who was a pipe smoker.
The idea has appeal. But, I do not know a) if I am strong enough to stop at one or two, nor b) if I would want to stop again. I also know ("suspect" is probably a more accurate term, as I have never put it to the test) that now that I have been away for such a long time, it is likely that impact of having a pipe would be akin to the robust and beautiful way it felt when I first started the hobby as a kid. It would feel wonderfully strong and rich.
So, I keep waiting and proceeding as I have, with only indifference to show for it. Perhaps I should focus on indifference being enough?
PipeTobacco
2 Comments:
Not sure how one should feel when they accomplish a goal.
I did good in weight lost goal in 2018 and kept it off.
Doesn't mean I'm done but I get praise and complements and in all honest I want to crawl under a table.
Coffee is on
Your faith seems to be a strong motivator and an aid to your willpower. Maybe you could allow yourself to smoke your pipes during Lent, as a mortification of sorts? That would mean abstaining on Sundays, and it would also mean going back to your abstaining after Lent. From there, if you could gain the confidence that you can start and stop as you like, you could then decide whether to have an occasional pipe to remember a relative or friend, knowing that it's not an all-or-nothing choice.
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