Down

 

Feeling "down" today:

• A kid of a family friend passed away rather unexpectedly yesterday.  He was in his 30s, and had some health and emotional issues, but his death as a result of sepsis following an accident is difficult and unexpected.

• Had some unpleasant treatment yesterday by one of the "dynamic duo" who have been thorns in my side.  I have been working to move past it, but it is hard to have to devote the needed energy to quell the feelings and try to move past the hurt and frustration.  

• Ran 9.6 miles (15.5 km) this morning, but my heart really wasn't into doing so.  I viewed it simply as a chore to persevere through and get over with. I started running at 4:45am so I would not have to deal with the harsh sun, and with the high temperatures I was able to run shirtless, so that helped a little bit, because I did not have to wear a sopping wet shirt while running.... but it was still hard.  

• I am not feeling any interest or desire to do the work that I should do in order to be on a better footing for Fall.  I just want to ignore it all.... but if I do, I know it will be damn harder as we get closer to Fall and that will just cascade into more frustration.  

• I feel like I could sleep "for a month of Sundays".  I had not heard or used that phrase in many, many years, and it just happened to pop back into my head. The “month of Sundays” phrase could be applied to any number of situations.   Both of my parents and my aunts and uncles used that phrase often when I was a kid.  I do not think it is commonly said much today.  I wonder if it is a Catholic colloquialism?   Regardless.... I am feeling down and tired.... but I know that if I were to "chuck" things and go home to rest.... it would just lead to more crap piling up for me for tomorrow.  

• Pipes..... about the same as it has been all week. I want to smoke my pipes.  But, as is my responsibility currently (because I have not figured out a successful plan to allow returning), I am refraining.

• My eyes are red and bloodshot this morning.  If people were to look at me, they probably would think I am a wino.  But, it appears this has arisen due to a series of very violent, whole body sneezes I had yesterday evening.  I read about this situation after it first happened a few weeks ago.  The bloodshot eyes went away after a day or so, and now I had another bout of violent sneezes and the bloodshot eyes have occurred again.   

These incredibly harsh sneezes, as best as I can tell,  happen to me occasionally (perhaps once a week or so) and inevitably occur within about 5 minutes of finishing dinner.  The sneezes seem to occur due to the effects of having eaten a sizable amount of raw onion.  But, I eat a helluva lot of raw onion every day, so it seems odd.  But, I can say onions do seem to be the "trigger" when the sneezing fit does occur.  This once a week or so sneezing fit has been going on for years, and I would typically sneeze 12-20 times in the course of about 5-10 minutes.  But, during the last few months.... the INTENSITY of the deep, whole body sneezes has increased, so when I sneeze, I am often doubling over from the power of them.  

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