Semi-Important Thought

 

It occurred to me while running this morning, that a REASON I am not fond of the idle chit-chat at the sorts of dinners I have this week is (besides being an introvert) because I tend to not talk A LOT at these sorts of things.  I am not generally a person who will easily or willingly just rattle off the myriad of thoughts that are going on in my head.  Some people can do that READILY.  Some folks have what I guess can be called a "gift of gab" where they can simply keep up a continual, extemporaneous, exogenous dialogue of whatever pops into their mind.  

That is NOT me.  While I have (what seems like) 852 billion thoughts percolating through my mind at any given moment much of the day, I need to precisely and carefully select which (if any) of those thoughts are ones that become verbalized.  SELECTING thoughts to discuss is exhausting in "mixed company" ("mixed company" in this context means basically any folks in a social setting who are NOT family, friends, or work associates).  There are also all the "contextual" considerations of a) who may find which thought interesting or boring, b) which "code" to adopt in speaking (should I pepper my speech with the blue collar malapropisms and slang I grew up with, should I use my "professorial" diction and tone, should I adopt my "dad joke" style of speech,  etc.), c) how loud or soft to speak to an "intimate" table of 8 folks (the typical U seating arrangement) that allows others at the table to hear, but does not unnecessarily contribute more noise to the din of the banquet room by mixing in more sound to the chaotic cornucopia already going on.... and many more considerations.  

So, what I do for the most part is LISTEN.  And I am a DAMN GOOD listener.  I listen so carefully and so intently that I could often repeat verbatim the conversation at a table.  What I mean by this is that I actually PAY ATTENTION to what folks are saying. Some folks DO NOT do this.  It matters not if the conversation is inane and nonsensical or if it is a doctoral dissertation..... if I am needing to LISTEN, listen I DO, dammit.  And, so, it is very much the norm that folks who like to talk.... LOVE to talk to me, because I do listen and do hear them.  But, at a table of eight folks with a whole helluva lot of random talking back-and-forth, it is EXHAUSTING and damn near overwhelming to listen and remember the details of every single person's story.  But, it is how I am wired.  In conversation, I do not "weed out" (aka ignore) some folks, nor some folk's DETAILS.... perhaps out of worry/concern that I will ignore something that was meaningful to that person. And to have that worry/concern that I ignored someone would be further exhausting. 

But, that is why, as an introvert, after a "social" event of this nature, I am wiped out.  I am a relatively noise-sensitive person to begin with, but after a social event, I need QUIET.  

To not be ALL GLOOMY today, I have to end with what I consider a somewhat funny story of one of my beloved uncles, Uncle Chet (Chester).  Later in life, when he grew harder of hearing, he aquired the standard style of hearing aids of that time frame (1980s).  These hearing aids had a small dial on their side that (with your fingertips) you could rotate to adjust the volume.  My Uncle's wife (my aunt of course was a bit of a stereotype, and her Italian heritage (and slight Italian accent she gleaned from her parents who WERE actual immigrants from Italy) was displayed in her personality of being a very loud talker, who used her hands a lot when talking.  She also tended to be very directive to my Uncle (liked to tell him what to do and how to behave).  Well, my Uncle and Aunt would argue occasionally, and just because he KNEW it would annoy her during an argument, my Uncle would make a very purposeful gesture with his hands, to turn off the volume of his hearing aids when he didn't want to hear what my Aunt was saying.  She would get SO exasperated.  I am not really sure if he DID actually turn down/off the volume on his hearing aids or not.... but I know he at least pretended to do so.