Tentant

 

"Tentant" is a Latin word, and it means "to try".  

I have decided that TENTANT is what I must focus on this week for me.  I am still feeling a great deal of the doldrums of the difficult month of March, even though I have past the Ides of March.  As I talked about somewhat the last week and a half, I am feeling a big sense of loss.  I am recalling and remembering a lot of the deaths of loved ones, and feeling their loss.  But, to live in those thoughts is to live akin in an abyss.  That is not what life is supposed to be about.  

When I can get my mind focused and wrapped around the concept, I know damn well that life is MEANT to be a time to WORK, to STRIVE to do good and positive things, a time to do SERVICE to attempt to make life better and kinder.  It is easy to lose sight of that focus, when hurts and hardships, and harshnesses and difficult memories can so easily flood into the mind, and so easily disrupt our focus and our efforts.  

So, March be damned.  I am not serving my love ones I have lost.... I am not serving my living family and friends.... I am not serving my students.... I am not serving my community.... I am not serving my faith..... IF I LET these harsh feelings and harsh emotions rule over my mind and prevent me from what I SHOULD do.

So, the oft-used phrase of "picking myself up by my bootstraps" happens again TODAY.  I will force myself to get back up to snuff.

My work for today is the "usual" teaching (only 3 hours today), but a special emphasis this afternoon will be in organizing some of the needed animal use applications for research done as well, so I can get some of my students off and running on some new projects associated with my most recent grant.  I have as a goal, the completion of at least 1/2 of the applications before I leave for the day.  

Other varied thoughts:

• I POUNDED OUT as fast a 10 miles as I could this morning.  I do find that the effort does help me shed some of the gloom.
• I have set an appointment to talk with the specific duo of my researchers who procrastinated and really were not focused nor motivated.  I am going to give them "the talk" to see what is their future.  They are both thinking more about jobs, socialization, etc.... and not planning for their future.  
• I was able to talk with the "cigar fellow" from Mass this past Saturday.  He was wondering why I hadn't been out there, as I had told him of my interest.  Unfortunately, because of my work at the U, the "club" (just a bunch of guys who get together to talk and smoke cigars) he belongs to there, meets at noon on Thursdays..... and so for the time being I am unable to go.  Most of the fellows are already retired, so the time is of little consequence.  I told him, that I am looking forward to going as soon as I can.  I told him, however, that I likely will not have an open Thursday from work until the end of April.  He even told me Saturday, as a manner of encouragement before I told him of my work schedule, that I could smoke my pipe there since I had told him earlier that I had relatively modest experience with cigars as I was primarily a pipe smoker.  He remembered that part and was trying to encourage me, I think, thinking that I was hesitating about cigars.  (Late addendum.... his mentioning my pipe smoking made me smile, as I felt glad he was interested enough in having me join the group that he remembered that detail.  It felt nice to have that encouragement.)
  
• My wife and I are going swimming (I hope) late this afternoon.  It should be refreshing.  

I have to get to doing more work.  I have been listening to Ian Anderson's works lately.  He is most famous for his leading of the group, Jethro Tull.  However, he has a lot of music of various sorts.  (Late addendum.... just to make sure.... I very much enjoy Jethro Tull.  But, I also greatly like Ian Anderson's other work as well.  I did not want anyone thinking I was being in any way disparaging about Jethro Tull.)

PipeTobacco