Weird, Wacky, or Wretched?

Again, please note... There is no news as yet about the relative I and everyone in our family is worried about. I shall be taking her to have a CAT scan later today. Again, please keep her in your thoughts and/or prayers. I again post something a bit "fluffy" to simply occupy my mind. I do feel sad and apprehensive. Perhaps you will enjoy this essay and offer me comments to read:

Yesterday's post about the vehicles I have owned had me think about the many different vehicles that I did not own that have caught my attention over the years.... today I shall focus on the odd or ugly, or if they were unique in some way that made them interesting to me. Here is a brief list:



Ford Edsel - perhaps the first mass-marketed "dud" with the public. I think the Edsel was doomed not because it was not a good car... it was, nor because it was considered "ugly" by many... it was marginal, but its looks have grown more appealing over the years. What I think made this automobile a dud was that it was launched during an economic downturn... and it was bigger, and more expensive than other models on the market at the time.

BMW Isetta - a true oddity. I have loved this little sardine can of a car ever since I first saw one promoted as a "special giveaway" if you bought a real car from this fellow's car dealership. I went with my father when he went to look at possible automobiles and although intrigued by the beast, he would not participate in the promotion. All across the US, car dealerships would offer the Isetta as a bonus. With looks only a mother could love, with seating for two, and a motor hardly bigger than many lawn mowers of the time, the US public thought of the Isetta as a toy. It would be fun to have one though.

Citeron C2 - a car with origins from before WWII. This Citeron (called various names, but undoubtedly the most recognizable Citeron in the US) is the French equivalent to the Volkswagen Beetle. And, like a comparison between the Germans and the French, whereas the Beetle was rock solid and dependable, the Citeron was quirky and stubborn. As is common in French culture, style won out over substance... but it is a damn beautiful beast of a car.

Volkswagen Karmann Ghia - Volkswagen's "sports car" in the 50's, 60's and into the early 70's. I loved the looks of this car, and so did virtually everyone. I remember humorous ads that Volkswagen put on television playing off the fact that while this car looked like a sports car, it was a bit "timid" where horsepower was concerned. In the day, many sports car commercials would feature a sports car breaking through a paper wall to "burst" into view for the camera. In the Volkswagen ad, the little Karmann Ghia tried to break through the paper wall, but all you could see was the nose of the car behind the paper trying to nudge it open.

Renault Dauphine - another French monster/beauty chimera. Designed for reliable transportation with style for the masses... this beast was interesting and reasonably attractive, but it had mechanics and electrical components that made the worst of the British automotive scene seem as reliable as hell. I remember a neighbor who had this car and recall his cursing at it very faithfully many, many mornings.

Citeron - another French beauty... but with the same flaws as all French vehicles of the time... as cantankerous as a wet cat with fleas. What is especially noteworthy, though is the beautiful and unique style of this vehicle compared to other cars of the time. The neighbor who owned the Dauphine (mentioned above) also ended up purchasing one of these beasts... although he was a dignified, gentle professor during most of his life, this car continued to allow him to hone his "angry sailor" vocabulary of cursing.

The next several automobiles feature primarily vehicles from the US produced in the early 1970s. These vehicles are so odd in appearance and such a departure from previous efforts by the four US automobile manufacturers that my secret suspicion is that virtually all the automotive designers and engineers of this time period were deeply immersed in the "marijuana scene" so prevalent in the late 60s and early 70s. I also hypothesize that the ample consumption of said marijuana helped these automotive types design cars that defied convention (and usually logic as well). But, I still find all of the following beasts interesting for many reasons:

AMC Gremlin - what can be said about this beast? Is it a regular car with the back chopped off, or is it a unique variation on the station wagon, only smaller? You be the judge. Still for all its ungangly appearance, it somehow is an appealing little car.

Ford Maverick - Ford wanted a small car, and it made this beast with a 6 cylinder engine or an 8 cylinder engine (small eh?). Strangely enough, I went back a few years ago and found a Maverick brochure that listed body dimensions. This "little" car for the 1970s was virtually identical in length, width, and tire stance to that of the "big" 1988 Buick LeSabre my father purchased as his last vehicle.

Chevrolet Vega - another oddity, but somehow every appealing in looks. The Vega is arguably in the top 5 of all automotive lists of the worst cars of all time. But, it looks pretty damn nice. The problem is that its execution was horrid.... not only did it have a body that would often show rust BEFORE YOU LEFT THE DEALERSHIP, its body would be dangerously degraded within only 2-3 years of being in the salty roads of the Northern US. Additionally, this beast had lower than average ground clearance, so it would bottom out frequently and rocks and road debris would often scrape and damage the undercarriage. Add to this GM's first "attempt" at an aluminum engine.... which began to warp and seize with as little as 30,000 miles, and you get the picture. Still, the cars were pretty to look at. I think huge amounts of marijuana were smoked by the people who designed this car. I think it could have been a damn good car if after the doped up design and engineering teams created their image for the beast, they had found a sober team to execute the plans.

Ford Pinto - what can be said about this beast? Ugly and ungangly, with an odd triangular shape, the car was virtually without a trunk (the trunk was smaller than some glove boxes in other cars). The angles on the sheet metal, especially around the tire wells was such that they would hold water (and salt) much more easily than other designs and would rust very quickly. Not to mention the infamous "drop in gas tank" Ford used (and if you did not know, also used in the Ford Maverick and the Ford Mustang of the same era) that became the subject of lawsuits after several deaths attributable to this horrid design. I believe the designers were similarly doped up like with the Vega. And, even with all these NUMEROUS faults, the car still has some slight appeal in its looks. Not that I would have wanted one, however.

Honda 600 - lest you think I have ignored the Japanese here, I put forth the especially odd Honda 600. This automobile, which had seating for four was much, much smaller than Honda Civic that replaced it.... and the Honda Civic in 1973 (the Honda 600 was sold from 1970 - 1972) was the smallest car that could be purchased in the US. What was unique about the 600 were two features I found intriguing.... one, the manual transmission DID NOT erupt out of the floor like in most vehicles, nor did it jut off the steering column like many US cars to give the "appearance" they were automatics. Instead, the 600 had its manual transmission emerge from the front of the dashboard! Also unique and odd is that the 600 was named such because its motor was identical to the air-cooled motor Honda used in its 600cc motorcycle!

Volkswagen Thing - I think even the Germans must have indulged in a different leaf for their pipes when they came up with the idea for the "Thing". Basically it is the body of the military vehicle VW produced in WWII resurrected and modified a bit and painted one of several garish colors. Odd to see, odd to drive, and with no windows (yes, the last couple of years of its production had windows, but they leaked and were not particularly helpful), useless in the North.

Now as we enter into another decade (the 80s), cars become less wacky, but many are still HORRID:

Renault Le Car - the French return with this cute little car. So quirky, and so strange, and so much plastic everywhere.

Chevrolet Citation - this receives my vote for the UGLIEST automobile of all times. The design of this beast was basically to take a Chevette, put it on steroids, and neutralize any minor appeal the Chevette had to make the Citation even uglier. Not only was this car hideous to look at, it ran like sh*t and had brakes that would freeze up and not function. Pure crap that GM should be ashamed of.

Yugo - a communist variation on an Italian Fiat. Fiats are Italian, but share many attributes and failings with French cars... they are often attractive to look at and interesting to examine, but their reliability makes you want to keep a horse in your backyard. So, the communist country (at the time) Yugoslavia makes a counterfeit version of this Fiat, strips off much of its "prettiness" and cheapens its components (for example, you know how there is a rubber area by the pedals that is stitched into or fused with the carpeting.... well in the Yugo, it was put in place with water based glue! When the carpeting became moist, the rubber area would come loose).

Chevrolet Lumina Van - an imaginary quote by GM designers... "Hey, lets make our own version of the hottest new vehicle on the market (at the time the Chrysler Mini-Vans were a hot ticket item)! Lets make it look like the "Dust Buster" hand held vacuum cleaner!"

Pontiac Aztek - another imaginary quote from GM designers... "Hey, the "DustBuster" van didn't do so hot.... lets make a new one... this time, making it look like a frog!"

Of course, everyone will have his/her own list of vehicles to add. These just represent my own food for thought.

PipeTobacco