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A Tough Day

In many ways, Wednesday (I am writing this now just after midnight, Thursday) was a much tougher day than I had anticipated. Much harder than I had hoped for as well.

I am not sure if the day was a result of a) my sadness about my very critically hurt student, b) having had to work late (~10pm) the evening before, c) a poor awakening this morning (aka "getting up on the wrong side of the bed"), d) a lack of focus or plan for the day, or e) that this was the scheduled day of this month in which I would wade through my mother's on-going mail and pay her bills.

Truthfully, it was likely a mix of all of the above 5 items. But regardless, I was in a helluva a surly mood all day. But, please believe me when I state that I tried extremely hard, in a myriad of ways to "put on a good face", to try to turn my mood around, to pretend to be feeling ok.... but it did not always work.

I broke down in tears three different times today, and I felt very short tempered most of the day. My mood was such that even though I tried several times to screw up the energy, the fortitude, the stubborness to go exercise, I did not do so.

It was a very rough, tough day for me. I want Thursday to be better. I am not sure how I am going to try to accomplish this, but I do not want to repeat the emotional hell that was Wednesday.

PipeTobacco