I Would REALLY....
I would so very much like to have a pipe right now. It is so very odd and unpredictable about the cravings. There are times when I only minimally think about smoking a pipe. Those times are pretty easy in terms of my resolve. But, then there are more moderate yearnings that occupy more of my mental capacity. And, yet, even now, into my 10th month of refraining.... there are still times when the desire for a beautiful briar filled with enticing and gentle crumbles of vanilla-tinctured burley leaf seem to be the totality of my focus and all I see in my mind's eye.
Now is one of those times.
PipeTobacco
9 Comments:
That description makes me want to smoke a pipe!
In ten months, you seem to have learned that while the yearnings and cravings work powerfully on your emotions, you remain a rational actor with the power to choose whether or not to yield to those yearnings and cravings.
Sadly, you don't seem comfortable with the idea that returning to your pipes might be a rational choice. I suspect that you know, deep down, that you will someday return to your pipes, but you don't want to feel that your return is a failure. I hope, thus, that you can frame your eventual return in some positive way, whether it's solidarity with your ancestors, or whether it's a contrarian statement against today's reflexive rejection of a pastime that has given you great solace.
Of course, that eventual return does not mean that your time refraining -- whether it ends around ten months, or whether it extends for another year or two or more -- is of no value. How much have you learned about yourself in this time? How much have you come to understand what your pipes truly mean to you? How much have you learned about yourself as a rational being, master rather than slave to your cravings and yearnings?
In the meantime, I am so glad that you can, while refraining, still allow yourself the pleasure of recalling from old sense memories the deep contentment and solace brought by a familiar old briar-friend filled with the aromatic leaf.
One way or another, good luck with it all; I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and/or friends.
Damn. I miss smoking a pipe. For more than 25 years I smoked a pipe. When I read your blog it makes me miss it.
That is a beautiful pipe
the Ol'Buzzard
Pat:
As always, I thank you for your thoughtful comments. They mirror a lot of what I think about frequently. I do not get to reply to you easily because you do not have a blog like most other commenters here have, so I apologize. Do know that I am appreciative.
OB:
How long ago did you stop?
Liz:
Thank you. I take that as a complement on my writing!
OB:
I agree! It is truly beautiful.
I have never smoked a pipe in my life, but just as Liz says, above, your description brings a sudden craving to do so!
If I was half literate I could probably write something to convince others how beautiful it is to smoke ciggs....maybe even convince them to the point that they try to persuade me to begin smoking again.
No matter how you spin it smoking is bad for you and addiction will be part of the reason you cave. I have my fingers crossed that you don't smoke!
I thought of you the other day....
Boyfriend was telling me how when he was 17 he worked for the sanitation department collecting garbage. He said one day while collecting garbage he found a beautiful piece of walnut wood art that was a display for about a dozen pipes. The pipes were still with the display. Boyfriend said some of them were quite pretty.
The End
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