What To Do?
My father's birthday is fast approaching. My father would be turning 95 years old this year if he were still alive. In the years since he passed away, I have always consciously and deliberately spent time on that day outside somewhere quiet and peaceful, smoking one of his favorite pipes that I have inherited while I think deeply about the many memories I have of him as my father and my guide and my friend. It has always been an meainingful, important, albeit melancholy time.
This will be his first birthday since I have started to refrain from smoking a pipe. I am not sure of my plans. Part of me very much wants to follow the tradition I established, and smoke a bowl of pipe tobacco and continue with the entire process like I have done now for many, many years. Another part of me is concerned that having one bowl of beautiful, fragrant pipe tobacco would be too much of a slippery slope. I do not know if I am of a strong enough mettle to go back to refraining after reacquainting myself with the beautiful burley leaf. Obviously, I could go find a quiet space out-of-doors and think about my wonderful father sans pipe on his birthday. Yet, somehow, I believe that may feel incomplete. I am not by nature, a breaker of routine. When I can establish a routine, I much, much prefer to stick with it.
I really am unsure of what I will decide to do.
PipeTobacco
5 Comments:
Take a pipe but not actually smoke it?
I am finding your struggle with smoking/not smoking quite thought-provoking. I am married to a cigarette smoker and after many years of marriage I don't like it any more than I ever did (which is to say, not at all) but I am resigned to it. He says he wants to quit but it's never a good time (too much job stress). I know how much stress he is under, so I try to accept it. If he were to quit, as you have done (and my hat is off to you in a big way for that), and subsequently was even more stressed by having no other stress reliever, I would be torn between cheering him on in his efforts to remain smoke free and reluctantly advising him to take up smoking again. In other words, I have no helpful advice . . .
just think twice about doing a bowl..it was hard for you to quit the first time..
I think you have quit smoking for good, and I think that on some level you know you have quit for good. It's easier if you think you have a choice......and you do have a choice......smoke or not smoke......honestly though you really have already made the decision..............now you just have to decide on a new tradition for your fathers' birthday.
You're doing good, Professor.
Keep hanging in there!
As Jane says, knowing you have the choice is psychologically beneficial - like a good dentist, who tells you, 'We don't have to do the dental work today, we don't have to do anything today, if you don't want to; you can go home and we can leave it for a while, or you can decide not to at all.' That takes the pressure off and puts the control with you. And probably, you make the decision to do what you need to do. Could you make a new habit, one that gives you a similar feeling of honouring a tradition, but without the tobacco? For example, a coffee at a coffee shop, a strong one with plenty of caffeine, that you can savour, and have time to yourself to think while you drink it? I suggest this, because I find a coffee in warm, cosy surroundings, relaxes me. I'm sorry if it sounds a poor substitute, but it might be worth a try.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home