Hmm. Maybe November is Why?
My mind is a swirl with thoughts about pipes these days. I have been a bit surprised about that. I do not mean surprise in that I think about them.... that may be an "always" thing for me, I guess. But, I am surprised about the ebb and flow of my thoughts. For a while, especially during the latter part of the Summer, the thoughts about pipes and pipe tobaccos were more sporadic, occasional, and there were even once in a while, whole days where I did not think of them.
But now, since late October and into November, I seem to have a much more robust number of thoughts, daily, about pipes and pipe tobacco and the desire to rejoin the hobby. After giving it considerable thought, I believe this time of year may especially foster these thoughts in me because of my former ritual of attending deer camp with my elderly father in law each hunting season, and also because my own father's birthday is this month and I have had a ritual for decades to visit my father's gravesite on his birthday and to smoke one of his or one of my grandfather's pipes as I sat at the gravesite and talked with my father. I think the above two actions/activities have carried a great deal of "gravitas" in me and my mind keeps reminding me of these rituals/events/and times of the year.
I often wonder if I *can* and/or if I *should* perhaps indulge in a pipe on my Father's Birthday? A sizeable part of my mind says..... YES, indeed, you should do that! It is appropriate. It is a remembrance. It is a way to recall him and the many ways that I love, cherish, and remember him.
If I did do this.... I believe it should be a one-time event (at least perhaps only yearly on the date of his birthday). But, is my resolve strong enough to adhere to this idea of a one time event? Or would the beautiful indulgence reawaken my passions for pipes and pipe tobaccos so that it is impossible to resist returning to the hobby? Is it good to test my mettle in this way to show my resolve? Or is it simply a slippery slope I should avoid?
I believe for the moment, since I have a bit of time before his birthday, I will just try to keep reasoning through in my mind the various ideas before committing to a decision. At this birthday, my father would be 96 years old, if he were still living.
PipeTobacco
7 Comments:
No, don't. Not unless you have a ton of will power.
I wonder if it's also a seasonal thing. Smoking a pipe by the fire seems appropriate.
You skipped your father's birthday last year, so it's not as if you are keeping up with an intact tradition. Perhaps it may be a tradition you can instead honor in your mind and heart, rather than with a lit pipe.
I am probably in the minority here, expecting that you will someday return to your pipes. As long as you are holding on to them, and even to your old tobaccos, I think the return is not just inevitable but is something you want for yourself, deep down. However, I don't think that you need to (or should) use your father's upcoming birthday as your reason for returning to the joys of your long-cherished pastime. Perhaps you should wait until some point at which you wouldn't feel like a failure for returning to the hobby full-time, and then and only then experiment to see if you can instead make your indulgences a scheduled (weekly, special occasions, ???) event. Good luck in figuring out whatever will work best for you!
Liz:
You are probably correct in what I should do.
I do not know how much will power I have. Sometimes in my more “grandiose” moments, I think I SHOULD have and demand of myself the willpower for whatever is needed and required of me. Other times I think I am as damn fragile as spun glass. And, I mean this in all facets of my life.
I am contemplating many, many things in my life, and how I should be better than how I am.
PipeTobacco
Pat:
Your words are always wise and I look forward to them and try to learn from them.
While I cannot say what I WILL do, you are correct in what I WANT to do. I cannot deny that is so.
In some fashion, even though I do not think it is a regular part of my personality (at least that I can identify), in regards to pipes and pipe tobaccos, in some ways I feel as if I am a sham if I were to find or select a middle ground, compromise, sort of solution. For some reason I cannot yet describe, I feel that I am only being “legitimate” if I am fully refraining or if I am fully indulging as far as pipes and pipe tobaccos go. Again, I am not sure why. But perhaps I can find a compromise with my father’s birthday? I do not know. And perhaps to “atone” for my lack of following the pattern, the ritual, the “conclave” last year, perhaps I should indulge in TWO bowls full on his birthday, one to remember 2019, and one to attempt in a way, to make closer to whole the missed 2018 ritual?
Oops... below is the comment I meant as an actual reply to your comments. I am making a more concerted effort to always reply to my friends when they comment. And in the comment below, I suspect “fully indulging” may be unclear as a concept. In that phrase, I mean to indulge without regulation, to indulge “at will” when the mood strikes.... like it had been before.
change up the routine a bit when visiting your dad grave.
Not sure how. I have to agree if you have ton will power. I know my husband said he couldn't smoke a cigeratte or he in no time would be up to pack or more.
Coffee is on
Yes, I am not sure of my willpower at times.
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