Just Tired
Ran my 9 miles at 4:45am, then showered headed straight to work.
Taught 3 hours of in-person class.
3 hours of online video meetings with stressed out students (stresses about grades).
4 hours of cyborging and answering e-mails.
Stopped at the big box hardware store to return some material I ended up not using in my “fancy piece” project.
Still resisted lighting my filled pipe that I have been carrying. It was quite a difficult decision, several different times during the day. It is a really deep immersion I am in with regard to the yearning desire. I hope it passes back to an easier “normal” soon. It has been a really intense set of cravings this time and had been going on for three days thus far.
PipeTobacco
6 Comments:
I think. No, I know I would be tired after your day.
Stay Safe and Coffee is on
I think you're being overworked. Your running is probably crucial to maintaining both your mental and physical health.
Not sure why you are carrying around a filled pipe if you are trying to resist temptation. I might have missed the explanation in one of your earlier posts.
Cynthia, I agree with you. Keeping a loaded pipe around strikes me as pretty much a guarantee that at some point he will stop resisting temptation, then he'll beat up on himself for doing so. Carrying the loaded pipe tells me that, deep down, he believes that he cannot or will not keep resisting forever, and that maybe in his subconscious he even wants to succumb to temptation.
Personally, to avoid the otherwise inevitable sense of failure and disappointment, I wish that -- if he isn't willing or able to give his pipes and tobaccos to a trusted friend or relative for safekeeping -- he would just set aside a Sunday afternoon or some other meaningful time or occasion, and allow himself one or two pipefuls. That would mean it was his will, his strength, making the decision... and if his return to his pipes then became permanent it would be an informed choice, not a slip or failure.. and there remains the possibility that he might be able to confine his pipe smoking to one special time each week, or one special place at his home, thus giving him some of the control for which he has hoped over his old habit.
One is fatigued reading of your schedule.
You've been quite busy! Your filled piope reminds me of the cookies I baked this week for "guests" as I started my diet (again). Love it! Cheers!
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