All Souls Day
Even though "All Souls Day" officially occurred on November 1st..... as is also the custom in our Parish... during the Sunday Mass, following Intercessions we will read the names of all in our Parish who have died between November 1st of the previous year until today. And, after each name is read, we have a close relative of the deceased light a large votive candle during this part of the Mass to remember the departed family member.
We had 33 people pass away in this last year from our Parish, which is a relatively small Catholic Parish.. That is significantly more than most years. Many of the people passed away from Covid-19. It was especially heartbreaking to see one parishioner who lost three siblings at different times across the year. And, equally harsh was when one younger family came three different times as well to light a candle as they also lost three different loved ones.
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- I have been thinking a lot about the many years of getting ready to head to "deer camp" with my father-in-law during this time of the year. The camaraderie, fun, drinking, card playing, and of course ample pipe smoking were always a beautiful highlight of Fall. Even though I only half-heartedly went out actually hunting.... since I do not personally like venison.... I did help many successful hunters in our camp over the years in the cleaning and quartering of their deer.... and they were quite impressed with my skills (as an animal oriented biologist, I have quite careful, clean, and accurate dissection skills). They would often eventually also want to share venison or venison sausage with me later on. I would accept their gifts, and my wife would eat some of the sausage, but I would mostly give it to other relatives.
- I am having to drive my wife to her special optometry appointment later today. She has to have a special examination due to her significant diabetes. It is always a worrisome time. She is set to have her eyes become extremely dilated so they can quite intimately examine her retina. Last year, she had some worrisome bleeding in her retina which fortunately resolved after a few weeks, but she has not been doing much if anything to try to help/potentially stabilize and even potentially reverse her diabetes... so it could be rough today. I do not know how to help her become motivated to do the things she can to help her diabetes. A lot of her resistance is due to her upbringing which was very traditional "meat-and-potatoes" with lots of fat and sweets. But, part of it is also her reaction to the stresses she too is facing about the issue I cannot write about. She has been equally as hurt and stressed about the situation as I have. Her sister who is older and even less compliant has some significant visual issues and circulatory issues and I am very fearful my wife is heading down the same path.
- I sometimes imagine "worst case scenarios" when I think about future events.... in order to have some ability to feel at least a bit "prepared" if things go to hell. But, I try to not think about retirement sometimes because I am too fearful my wife may not make it, and may become either incapacitated or may develop dementia (sadly this seems to run in her family).
- Covid-19 has seemed to really affect veterinarians.... perhaps due to many folks adopting pets they never had before. My beloved pooch has developed a rather firm bump near her shoulder blade and it is worrisome to me. I called at the middle of October about this to made an appointment to bring her in, and the EARLIEST they could schedule me was November 19th. I get nervous about her as well and think this wait is excessive, but what can I do?
I seem a bit stymied at how to try to work to further reduce my stress. Running 10-11 miles a day is essential and has been helping of course, as I have said many times. Yet, sometimes the stress just seems to keep piling on with no avenue to abate it lately. My current running shoes have over 1000 miles (1600km) on them, and I probably should be finding time to purchase a replacement pair. It feels like I have very likely pounded the soles utterly flat.
PipeTobacco
3 Comments:
I seem a bit stymied at how to try to work to further reduce my stress.
As I've mentioned, I know of one way... but it'll only be an option when you are ready for it. A year before I returned to my pipes you could not have convinced me to stop abstaining, but as soon as I went back I regretted every moment of my abstinence.
I do think there's one big difference between us in that you seem to be making wise and introspective use of your time abstaining, so you need not regret your abstinence whenever you return to your pipes. But I think you do know, deep down, that the feelings you've described as "temptation" are in fact your deep and wise recognitions that you cannot and should not stay away from your old friends forever.
Just as you wouldn't run a 5K race with only one shoe, going through your daily activities without your pipes is leaving you incomplete in your ability to experience the joys, buffer the sorrows, and navigate through the stresses.
But, again, just as I know that I had to come to that realization for myself, I know that you will need to come to that realization for yourself in whatever time it takes you. Accepting oneself as a pipe smoker in an anti-pipe world is humbling, but it was something I came to know that I had to do. Whether you do it in a day or in a decade from now, I wish you well in so doing!
In my experience there are strategies to mitigate stress but nothing works 100%. So, I've accepted stress as part of my life, a constant that waxes and wanes at various times. I don't embrace it but I use it to motivate me to reach out to others and build my own emotional strength.
I just read about many deer being affected with C19. I wasn't paying close attention to the location, but it may have been 33% of certain population in Minnesota. Anyway, the place doesn't matter, it's the fact that raises concern.
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