MIL

 

In regards to my Mother-In-Law, there have been quite a few positives and negatives relating to her move to an assisted living apartment thus far:

• It is nice having her closer to us than before. (positive)
  
• She has been eating more consistently. (positive)
• She has already been seemingly a bit less confused. (positive)
• She is taking her medications more reliably (positive)
• When she goes to activities (art, bingo, dinner in the dining room, movies at their theater, church, etc) she enjoys the activities. (positive)
• However, my wife is spending huge amounts of time there coaxing, cajoling, and insisting that she participate in these various things. (negative)
• When my Mother-In-Law is left to her own devices, and the staff at the complex come and ask her to go to dinner, or go to a movie, or go anywhere, my mother-in-law refuses.  (negative).
• My mother-in-law has taken more showers than from when she was at home, where she would refuse to do so.... sometimes for weeks. (positive).
• However, my mother-in-law has only taken showers when the aide AND my wife were there.  The last time, my wife could not be there due to a work obligation she could not reschedule, and when the aide came for the shower, my mother-in-law refused. (negative).  
• For the lion's share of things, my wife's siblings are not doing a damn thing to help. (negative)

My wife cannot be there 24/7.  It is very, very frustrating that her siblings are so aggravating and unhelpful.  It is frustrating that my mother-in-law refuses to do most things when my wife is not there. It is frustrating in general, and I hope that it can move into something more stable and reliable.  My wife is there SO MUCH currently that it is frustrating.  I have been there a lot as well.  

• Ran 10.3 miles (~16.5 km) this morning.  I have been a bit ahead of schedule, so I could run this shorter amount.  And, on Friday, I only have to run 4.7 miles (7.5 km) to reach my weekly goal of 55 miles in a week (~89 km).  
• PCS = 8.  I think I have to try to outline here my ideas about the risks and benefits of returning to my pipes.  I guess, I am thinking more of the risks and benefits of trying to establish a prescribed, limited pattern of being allowed to return to them.  By this, I mean, I have to try to examine what I believe may be comfortable, and compare that with what I believe would be as close to worry-free as I could be, and see how divergent or convergent those two scenarios may be.  Perhaps I will try to flesh that out tomorrow or at least in the next few days.  Hopefully, that may help me see with a bit more clarity, realistically my options or lack of them.
• In my younger days, I very foolishly believed when I would reach "grey-haired, old codger" status like I am now..... that I would "have life all figured out".  Unfortunately, THAT was just an unrealistic pipe dream. I am just a confused/conflicted grey-haired, old codger. 
  

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