General Thoughts

Overall a pleasant weekend.  My wife and I took a trip ~2.5 hours away to watch our youngest kid in an athletic event.  On Sunday, we went swimming. 

• Was able to shuffle my feet through 12 miles (~19.5 km) of running this morning.  I pushed it a bit in terms of pace and went as long as I was able to before needing to get ready to go to the U.   
• Trying to focus on lab and research things today as I have only exams to give in my lectures, so I do not have to talk loud, big and animated in my "Professor Voice".  I gave one exam already, and the kids were nervous as hell, as usual.  But, the unnerved ones really need to be aware that I give them exams over what I teach.  If they do poorly, it is a result of their not putting in the needed study time.  I have a lot of things I need to do in my lab, though.  I hope I can get them all done. 
  
• With band practice tonight (and after calling in "sick" for rehearsal last week due to my TMJ flare up (it hurts to play the bass clarinet during a flare up)), I will be eating reheated (from frozen) left overs tonight.  My wife is teaching a Catechism class so she will be late as well.  I am going to have Tofu Curry with rice.  
• PCS = 6.  Still ever-present, but a tiny bit less taxing to deal with.  It was vacillating between a 6-7 all weekend long.  I kept contemplating my thoughts about the matter, but to no avail.  
  
• I still have a bit of discomfort with my TMJ, but it is in more normal, Fall-typical, parameters.  The big changes of seasons (Fall to Winter.... Winter to Spring) almost inevitably cause a bit of a discomfort in my TMJ.  It is manageable now, but it still is an aggravating, gnawing (hah, pun unintended this time) experience. 
• Listening to the Capuchin Mass this morning was pleasant, tranquil, and thought provoking.
  

 In my comments on Friday, Pam stated:

" You're so disciplined about other things, maybe you could try to give yourself a firm limit: smoke 2 bowls once every 3 days as needed. But only 2 bowls (or 1?) at a sitting and never more often than every 3 (or 2?) days. Whatever you choose."

I thank, you Pam, for that strong vote of confidence in my abilities.  In reality, I do not feel like a disciplined person.  While in theory I do some things in a relatively scheduled fashion, it is not really an inherent part of my being, my personality.  I could and SHOULD be far more disciplined in my life in so many ways. 

In regards to pipe smoking (which was what Pam's comment was about).... I would love and relish being able to wrangle myself into allowing me to smoke two bowls every three days or so.  It would be beautiful, almost transcendental in some ways for me to rejoin in that fashion.  I contemplate it, and I desire that.  

Yet, while I *think* that I *might* be able to muster up the required damned, dogged determination to follow that pattern... what I am nervous about is how MUCH energy, how much forced determination it may take to maintain that limited, procured ability to return to my pipes.  I do not know if I have that level of strength to do so.  And, even with the potential strength to do so, would having to exercise that immense level of strength eventually tax me beyond my body and mind's ability?  I do not really know the answer to these questions.  I do know that I would RELISH that sort of option.  But in a similar vein, I wonder if it would just cascade (perhaps even quite quickly) into me falling back into the wonderfully comfortable indulgence pattern of having a pipe whenever I damn well felt like it..... which had always been my "norm" across decades?  

I do not know how strong I may be in this regard.  In many ways, this leaves me to be indecisive and sitting in a patch of indecision.  The image I show above is of my most favored shape and style of pipe, even though I have many, many beautiful pipes of all shapes.  But, I do know that the above is such a comfortable style and beautiful fit for my maw.  It is of a style called a "1/4 bent Dublin" variety by most folks, even though there are other names people use as well. Well, really, the stem is just a little bit too straight to be called a “1/4 bend”.  Just “Dublin” is more accurate.  I DO prefer a slight bend in the stem…. but that image is of a damn beautiful pipe that I would be very happy to own.  

PipeTobacco