A Bit Better

 

I am feeling a "bit" better today, which is a relief.  Yesterday was not enjoyable.  

• I am still hurt, annoyed, worried, aggravated, angry about the thing I can no longer talk about here but mentioned in passing yesterday.  But, I have gritted my teeth and today have tried to the best of my ability to "let it go" because I cannot control the damn poor choices of that...  which I can no longer talk about.
• It is frigidly cold now in my region.  The wind chills are...  quite a bit below zero (~ -15 to -20 F) (for my Canadian friends.... ~ - 25 to -30 C).  
• 11 miles ran today (~18 km).
  
• PCS = 8..... it seems (other than during the few days where I felt ill) that I have been at a rather persistent (stable?) PCS score since before Thanksgiving.  

An interesting Wall Street Journal article came across my computer maybe a week or so ago, and it was entitled "A Happy Memory Can Help You Fall Asleep, if You Know How to Use It".   And, it described a technique called "savoring" where you try to relive in your mind, a happy experience in great detail.  

I am thinking the above "savoring" technique is quite valid and true, and I think I may have been employing this technique even without having a name to give the technique.  Ever since I have been purposefully reliving pleasant pipe smoking memories while I lay down to sleep..... I have really had no issues with falling asleep.  The one time I had a bout of insomnia in the recent past was when I had spent hours staying up very late (~4:00am) working on some intensive work-related thinking tasks.  When I then went to bed, I was tossing and turning..... tossing and turning for quite a while.  This persisted even as I I diligently tried to force my mind to be quiet!  Yet, I finally decided, since I was awake to "go with the flow" and use the time to remember happier times.  And, almost instantly I started to produce "Zzzzzzzz's".  

In case you are not familiar with the image I used at the top of this post.... it is a Bridle Bit for horses.  Back when I was early in my undergraduate education, I was all over the map in terms of what my attempted career choice would be.  Most of the time as an undergraduate, I was a biology major, although for a brief period I switched for a semester or so to declaring as an English major.  But ultimately I went back to biology.  Yet.... I was unsure of what sort of career I would like to try to pursue.  Originally my parents had encouraged me to go into human medicine.  And for a while I seriously considered it.  I also did VERY well on the entrance exams for medical school.  Yet, I knew in my heart that being a medical doctor would not be good for my personality.  I knew that I would be emotionally affected by the harsh things my patients would be going through health-wise.  And, even though it would be my role and my honor to treat them.... I seriously did not think that my emotional well being would be able to deal with the large amount of grief inherent in that career.  

Also as an undergraduate, I additionally had a period of time where I seriously considered pursuing Veterinary Medical School.  I even spent an entire Summer volunteering (these days, the kids use the trendier term "job shadowing") at a small-animal veterinary practice and at a more distant large animal veterinary practice, and also at a horse stable.  Each experience was immensely interesting.  I became quite adept at working with horses (as a volunteer, I never rode a horse, but did learn to groom, learn to bit and bridle, learned to saddle horses, and mucked out a helluva lot of stables).  I was even asked to help out at a horse mating event.  To my late teen/early 20 sensibilities, I was rather in awe while helping with and watching the mating rituals of horses, and was rather shocked at how "endowed" a stallion would become when aroused. I observed matings between males and female horses at this even, and also watched and observed a veterinarian who needed to use an electroejaculatory device on a stallion so the veterinarian could retrieve a gamete sample for use in artificially inseminating a mare who refused the advances of the available suitor stallions.  The device was a long electrode that stimulated an area of the rectal region that buttressed up (pun initially unintended, but recognized) near the prostate gland. While the veterinary work was very interesting, I ultimately decided against pursuing that as a career (again even though I performed well on the entrance exams) for the same reason as not choosing medical school.... but in this case, I was more concerned about not having the emotional fortitude to withstand experiencing the hurt and grief of the owners who had pets/animals with poor prognoses.      

PipeTobacco