A Damn Fight!!!

 

The weekend had its ups and downs:

• My wife and I spent most all of Saturday together, and it was wonderful, peaceful and relaxing in all regards.  
• My wife and I went to see a showing of the film "The Banshees of Inisherin" which is a film that has gotten a huge array of accolades (and on "Rotten Tomatoes" a 97% score.... an exceptionally positive score on that site).  The acting was exceptional, the scenery was beautiful, tranquil and enjoyable to watch.  BUT... the story was horribly sad/pointless in a way that made both me and my wife actually dislike the film overall.  There have been a couple of films that are considered "GREAT" films, but that I just cannot stand:
• The Great Gatsby - stupid, rich folks doing stupid, uncaring things
• The Godfather (#1 or any of the sequels) - gangsters doing stupid, uncaring things
• Steel Magnolias - a nurse, who knows better, decides to die holding her infant (at a "perfect" moment) rather than get treatment for her diabetes so she can be with her baby for years to come
• and.... now this..... "The Banshees of Inisherin" which I suspect is supposed to be some sort of metaphor about the Irish War of Independence.... was actually a movie about a fiddler player and his "boring" friend.  The fiddler player told the friend to stop talking to him.  The friend did not abide.  The fiddler player said if the friend kept talking to him, he (the fiddler) would cut off his (the fiddler's) own fingers.  The friend kept trying to talk to him.  The fiddler cut off his fingers, and obviously could no longer play the fiddle.  And, I kid you not.... the fiddler threw his fingers into yard of the home of his friend.....and the friend's pet donkey tried to eat one of the fingers, choked and died.  This then riled up the friend, so that he was inspired to burn down the fiddler's (former fiddler, he no longer had fingers) home.  The end.   Pure rubbish! (The main actors were Brenden Gleeson and Colin Farrell.... both great actors.... but this film..... idiotic.).

• Sunday, unfortunately, revolved around another several hour period of that which I cannot mention here anymore.  My wife and I were both utterly exhausted. It seems to be a never-ending situation of great sorrow.
  

But, the reality is I am sick and damn tired of dealing with this sort of crap all the time.  I decided this morning, when I woke up at 3:45am and could not get back to sleep, to begin to FIGHT DAMN HARD against having to constantly be buffeted and battered by that which I cannot mention here.  My life is worth more than just living through this crap, this heartache.  

• So, I am trying to push the things I can that make me feel "better".  One way I did this today, was I ran 11.6 miles (~18.5 km) instead of 10 miles (~16km).  I know it is not a helluva lot of difference... but it FELT like I went BEYOND what I had to do.... so the BEYOND part felt like it was a bit like me taking back some of my own individuality (if that makes sense).  I did that for ME instead of just doing the minimum to get through because of all the sh*t that buffets me and my wife around from that which I cannot mention here.
• I also did that today by hiding away in my back-back lab office and grading (and listening to C,S &N on headphones) so I would not be disturbed by folks knocking like they typically do when I am in my front office where folks could see me inside. I did not have office hours and DID NOT need to be available.  I did this to allow me to gain back some of my own TIME.
• I did this by NOT DOING some other sort of sh*t-work for someone else to be nice... and instead sneaked again into my back-back office to WRITE here! This gave me some of my own time back as well.  

So, at least today.... I am on a damn mission to FIGHT back against the crap that tries to overwhelm me.  I am going to try to continue to be more vigorous in this fight.  "That which I cannot mention" will have to just..... whatever.... I am tired of being a damn punching bag, and so is my wife.

• PCS - 8.  I wanted to grab a pipe while in my back-back office very intensely.  But, I also knew it would be a giveaway to my whereabouts.

PipeTobacco