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Shear, Damnable Obstinance

After having had an extremely rough Friday, a day where I felt all out of sorts, and felt unhappy and sad and moody, and irritable, I analyzed the situation and determined that "enough is enough" and that I needed to once again grab my emotions by the horns so-to-speak and wrestle them into submission.

I did this both mentally and physically and spent the greater part of Friday trying to dig my heels in and forcing myself to snap out of my sadness and irritability. I also FORCED myself again to start my 5 mile walk each day, and did this Saturday morning at the break of dawn. In this way, I get a head start on the day and get a head start in getting some things accomplished. It worked well and my Saturday was pretty even-keeled and even though I felt some sadness it was far, far more manageable than on Friday. I also went the cemetary and brought plants for my father's grave and for my grandfather's grave.

On Sunday, Father's Day was very nice. My kids were beautiful and wonderful like always and they and my wife made it a very special and happy day for me. Later we all went to my elderly father-in-law's home for an evening meal and more fun and conversation. It felt good.

This morning, I again used shear, damnable cussedness and determination and forced myself on another 5 mile walk. It felt good once I got started, and it has helped make today nice.

I will have to keep forcing myself to do this exercise. It seems to help my emotions stay more in keeping with how I want to live life.

Although, I must admit that it is EXTREMELY difficult to get up the gumption to force myself to get moving in this way each morning. I wish I could figure out how to get back into desiring to do this each morning instead of simply doing it out of anger and shear will, not letting my emotions get the best of me.

PipeTobacco