The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Friday, May 12, 2017

I Made It

I made it through the week with my stash even though it was tiny as hell.  I could start my new ounce tonight, but I am going to try to resist to have a bit of a cushion for next week.  Hopefully this next ounce will be distributed a bit more evenly.  

Am I unlearning pipe tobacco smoking?  I am not sure.  But I hope I am.  I had  a couple of beers earlier, so now I am enjoying a pipe (which I probably should not do, in order to learn) and I have about one more bowl left from last week's stash.  We will see if I can resist it to save for tomorrow.  

It is such a funny thing.  It seems so natural to smoke a pipe for me.  I have done so virtually forever.   But deep down I know I should not and that it is stupid for me to continue.  But I keep thinking about my father and uncles who smoked a pipe and I feel a kinship with them, but is that real or just me stupidly trying to justify a stupid behavior?  

Now that I am a bit beery feeling, I have also been thinking about all my relatives who have died.  I miss them
So much.  I wish they were here to talk with.  Ugh.  Getting meloncholy is not what I should be doing at the moment.   

My wife is staying at my elderly father-in laws house tonight because he just finally was released from the hospital. I fear they kicked him out because it was not profitable, and that he was not ready.  He will hopefully do well, but I am fearful he will just give give up and die.  I am glad my wife is there, but I feel alone and lonely.  I am just a foolish old man.  Too stupid to figure things out.   But I got things settled for the night with our youngest kids and the pets are being take care of.  But loneliness ensues and permeates my being.

PipeTobacco

3 Comments:

Blogger S. J. Qualls said...

It's too bad you couldn't have your FIL at your house. I'd hate to see him give up after he went through being sick for so long.
I hope your melancholy goes away, it won't help your quitting any. Try to get busy. It's good you made it through this week!

Friday, 12 May, 2017  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

You miss your wife, Professor. It's a sentiment that does you credit and reflects well on your marriage. Have you ever tried smoking a hookah? The substances involved are harmless, I believe.

Saturday, 13 May, 2017  
Blogger forsythia said...

Congratulations on sticking to your limit this week on the pipe tobacco. And you are not a foolish old man for feeling lonely. It's only natural at a time like this. I think it's wonderful that you enjoy your relationship with your father-in-law. Lots of folks don't want anything to do with their in-laws.

Saturday, 13 May, 2017  

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