Reply to Pat's Comments
In reading Pat's comments to me yesterday, I thought it would be valuable to reply to various aspects of the comments:
"the idea of trying to serve others to make the world a better place"
The above quote was a quote that Pat wrote from my post yesterday. I DO sincerely believe that is what we are supposed to try to do with our life in regards to how we live.
"Isn't
that a big part of your pipe-abstaining? You've at least somewhat
accepted the fallacious idea that by not smoking your pipes you are
improving the world for the non-smokers all around you."
The above words by Pat.... I fear that Pat may have misunderstood my own intent for not smoking my pipes. I can assure you that I do NOT feel nor believe I am improving the world for non-smokers around me by abstaining from my pipes. That may or may not be a "benefit" they perceive. I believe the misunderstanding may stem from the REAL aspect of my currently abstaining being related to pipe smoking in the current age being perceived by me to be "too much work" given the restrictions, given the negative attitudes some foist upon people who indulge in pipe smoking, etc. I love pipe smoking, and I miss it. I think the world would actually be a better place with more pipe smoking individuals in it. But, the inherent beauty and the joy I have always had WITH pipes and pipe smoking has very unfortunately become more of a struggle within the modern age. For me to smoke my pipes in the way that I had always done, but doing so in 2021.... is difficult, because of the many obstacles and hurdles. For me to return to my pipes (which I DO hope to do), I need to discover a new pattern, a new way of doing so that both a) gives me the inherent joy of the activity, while b) at the same time is not something I have to struggle with to accomplish in the modern day. In order to return, I need to figure out how I CAN comfortably return. For me, at a personal level, I came to understand that from discussions with two priests in particular, that pipe smoking is not/was not "sinful" but instead that my starting to refrain was due to the need to not accept anxiety from my own worries about pipe smoking. I have been able to do this, I believe, and in doing so, I have the option/opportunity to potentially return to them if I can figure out a way to do so that does not cause a return to the anxiety/worry. That is what I am attempting to figure out for myself.
"Meanwhile, without knowing the details (and without needing to know such a private matter), may I at least suggest that the vast majority of people have such a difficult time providing for their immediate families that the idea of "trying to serve others to make the world a better place" is very much one of those "First-World problems" and frankly is a luxury for so many who are living from paycheck to paycheck or dealing with severe family crises of health or economics?"
I do not believe "working/striving" to make the world a better place is in any way a "first-world" problem. It is a basic tenet of my faith, and my faith is practiced by folks from all "worlds".... rich or poor. Mother Theresa's example is an especially apt one in this regard. She most definitely did not live in a "first world" environment... but her primary focus in her life was to work and strive and try each day to help those around her. It is the ideal of what I wish I could better see in myself. But, just because I am not adept at it, does not mean it should change the goal and effort for me to strive to do so. And, I had been hopeful that I (and my wife) had both been successful in being able to instill the same goal/ideas in our kids.
"Self-care is
important, in the right context, and many a well-meaning caregiver has
reached burnout worrying about other people's problems while neglecting
their own basic needs. Please be sure, Professor, to be mindful of your
own emotional, spiritual, and physical health even while you worry
about your wife and your kid -- precisely so that you're in your best
health to be of real help to them."
The above words of Pat are very wise and true. I am ATTEMPTING to be mindful of my own emotional, spiritual, and physical health as best as I currently know how.... just for that very reason to be able to help them.... and hopefully if I can expend enough energy..... others outside of my family as well. It is a balancing act of sorts, and is not easy..... but I guess that is true for most things that are important.
By the way.... many years ago I was given a coffee mug much like the one I used at the top of this post. It sits in my office and I still often use it. :)
PipeTobacco
4 Comments:
Thank you for the thoughtful and helpful explanations, Professor! For what it's worth, I see that I didn't express my "First-World problem" point as well as I could have done. Yes, we should individually conduct our lives in a way that serves others best. In that regard, there are billions of people alive today for whom feeding their children is pretty much the most they can do for others, while personally struggling for their own survival. We're spoiled in the U.S. for the most part, by comparison, to such a degree that it's easy to find other people criticizing their neighbors for insufficient selflessness while themselves living what looks to others like a selfish life. You are correct that selflessness is a noble and worthwhile goal, but from all I've seen it is too often used as a club with which to beat others, rather than as an individual prod toward betterment (which clearly is how you correctly take it, good sir!).
Now if only you had a pipe-smoking graduate student who could help you write and administer your exams!
By the way, that's a beautiful pipe illustrating yesterday's post. Do you have one like it in your collection?
Ah…. now I better understand your original “First World” comment. Thank you! I agree with you on your points. I feel that trying to serve others is truthfully what life is for, and even though sometimes very, very difficult to stay focused upon and do….. there is tremendous importance in not giving up that effort to do so.
In regards to the pipe you mention….. that shape (which I commonly refer to as a 1/4 bent Dublin, although there are other names some folks use as well) is my VERY FAVORITE pipe shape of all pipe shapes. I do have one of that hue, and probably currently have four others of other hues. Even though I have many pipes of many shapes and sizes…. for me, truthfully, that is the perfect shape….extremely comfortably when I clench the stem with my teeth, the shape of the bowl fits comfortably in the palm of my hand, and it’s graceful curves feel rather artistically beautiful to my eye.
PipeTobacco
I can see why it would be problematic to smoke a pipe in the way the world has gone. Even cigarettes are difficult, and they seem to be much easier to use.
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