The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Friday, April 29, 2011

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Out of Sorts



I am feeling rather out-of-sorts today. I am not sure why, but the major factors that are likely contributing to it include:

1. I awoke this morning feeling tired and sore. The soreness was in my hip/pelvic region. The way I felt overall was similar to how I have felt when I have either not been able to sleep more than 2-3 hours or how I feel when I have had an instance of insomnia. Yet, to my knowledge, I slept soundly, and fully. And, I slept for 6 hours (at the higher end of my average).

2. My sole purpose in life today is to be a number crunching, data-inputing, parasitic appendage to my computer. It is grade determining time. It is a big bunch of mandatory tedium. I would rather be being all animated and fire-and-brimstone style lecturing in front of the classes rather than number crunching... hence why I wait to do it as long as possible.

3. Even though I am delighted to have a respite from teaching occur at the conclusion of this semester... I also know that part of my general malaise is because I also become a bit stressed about changes in routine. It happens every year at this time as my normal patterns of movement and activity become reshaped and changed for the new season.

[As an aside, I *think* that part of the reason why these changes in routine get my agitated is that I need to consciously *think* about what I am doing, and when, and what I need to do it.... which when I am in a routine, I do not typically need to do. And... this focusing my "thinking energy" on just getting through the day means I have little-to-no time left during the day to drift off into the more "interesting" thoughts I would rather engage in.... basically daydreaming.... sometimes about family, sometimes about research, sometimes about plans and goals, sometimes about more hedonistic pursuits (ie, sex, my pipe, libations, etc), somtimes just imagining stories and ideas. I think the *lack* of time to do this daydreaming gets me keyed up and stressed.]

4. I have some big plans on things I want to accomplish this Summer, but all the number crunching and all the latter part of the Semester events (the banquets, the awards efforts, the final concerts by some of my students, etc) makes my life so much more busy than usual that I feel lost... I feel my plans and aspirations are being shunted to the side as meaningless and unimportant.

So, that is, in an encapsulated form, why I *think* I am out of sorts.

PipeTobacco

2 Comments:

Blogger SueH said...

Hey, Prof. - it's a shame you feel the things you want to do have to be sidelined in favour of those things you have to do
:-(

I remember being told 'you can always find the time to do the things you want to do' - but that didn't seem to work out in practice; at least not in my case when raising kids, keeping house and going out to work got in the way - hence only now I've taken 'early' retirement can I afford to devote time to writing as much as I want to.

I guess things come and go in 'seasons' - deep breaths and sheer slogging away will have their reward.

My Mum used to say, 'Soonest started, soonest finished' - usually directed at me when I tried to put off doing homework!

Hope your aches and pains ease up - maybe they're psychosomatic (sp?) signs of the inner disatisfaction you feel at having to put your dreams on 'hold'?

(wafting encouragement your way, anyway!)

Friday, 29 April, 2011  
Blogger BBC said...

I swear, you are out of sorts more than I am. But I stay more pissed than you and that helps me from being down or out of sorts.

If the weather there is good get out and enjoy it.

Sunday, 01 May, 2011  

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