Vent
1. My TMJ Disorder has been so, so damn annoying and hard to deal with. I believe an errant chomp with my teeth onto an olive pit about two or three weeks ago likely bruised my bursa on right side of the tempormandibular joint. The pain, the swelling, the discomfort.... and the radiating pain into my ear..... just about are going to be the end of me. I did this same damn thing (even, perhaps if I recall, due to a damn olive pit as well) perhaps a year or so ago.
2. Easter actually felt more like stress than a joyful day. Having the kids over along with relatives is not longer the casual fun it used to be. Instead, I just feel a sense of dread and anxiety because of the one I no longer mention here.... and what this person may spout off about. And, conversely, some of the relatives may casually say something that could also cause this person to spout off. I would far rather meet with the various relatives OUTSIDE of meeting with "the person I no longer talk about". It would be a lot less stressful for me. But, unfortunately, I do not really get to decide unilaterally. My wife wants everyone to get along and be happy, so she always hopes for the best and always wants EVERYONE together. And, she was RIGHT... nothing horrible happened THIS TIME. But, that did not mean I did not have extreme stress and anxiety about the possibility.... all day.
The only thing I actually want to do lately is lay with my wife on the bed and have her hold me or I hold her. I feel I could sleep for weeks/months.
I did all my damn usual things, like always.... stomped my feet through all the damn miles this morning, thought about my pipes and pipe tobaccos like always.
PipeTobacco
3 Comments:
Professor, I get the sense that simply by your nature you are going to be under stress and feel some sadness whether or not you are enjoying your pipes. But at least with your pipes you would have a tool to ameliorate some of your stress and sadness. With the troublesome March behind you, would April 1 be a good time to make a fresh start?
No more olives for you, sir! I understand the stress of get togethers; my brother and family are very religious and conservative and my two daughters are estranged. So, it's tough. It's been OK but I feel nervous that things could go wrong.
This feels all wrong but I'm going to say it anyway. If your doctor would prescribe a mild tranquilizer for you, your life would be improved immensely. I say this as an anxious person who has successfully moderated my use of tranquilizers for 40 years. Anxiety freezes me occasionally. One 2.5 mg dose of diazepam relieves it almost instantly. My sister and a good friend are in similar situations. We are fully functioning, responsible citizens who may be slightly addicted to these pills but the relief from paralyzing anxiety is life-enhancing. I know that a boot-strap person like you would probably feel this is weakness and therefore you are very unlikely to take my unsolicited advice but there it is. (And about the unsolicited part of that last sentence: don't you agree that when someone creates a blog and tells readers these details of your suffering those readers are more or less being invited to offer opinions and suggestions? Therefore, my advice is somewhat solicited.) Feel better professor. Your readers do care.
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