The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Friday, July 25, 2025

Death of EPA


 Very horrific news for everyone, but especially for science and discovery:

- Both from the New York Times....

"The Environmental Protection Agency said on Friday that it would eliminate its scientific research arm and begin firing hundreds of chemists, biologists, toxicologists and other scientists, after denying for months that it intended to do so.

The move underscores how the Trump administration is forging ahead with efforts to slash the federal work force and dismantle federal agencies after the Supreme Court allowed these plans to proceed while legal challenges unfold. Government scientists have been particular targets of the administration’s large-scale layoffs.

The decision to dismantle the E.P.A.’s Office of Research and Development had been widely expected since March, when a leaked document that called for eliminating the office was first reported by The New York Times. But until Friday, the Trump administration maintained that no final decisions had been made.

The E.P.A.’s science office provides the independent research that underpins nearly all of the agency’s policies and regulations. It has analyzed the risks of hazardous chemicals, the impact of wildfire smoke on public health and the contamination of drinking water by hydraulic fracturing, or fracking. Its research has often justified stricter environmental rules, prompting pushback from chemical manufacturers and other industries."

AND ALSO...... 

"The Trump administration has drafted a plan to repeal a fundamental scientific finding that gives the United States government its authority to regulate greenhouse-gas emissions and fight climate change, according to two people familiar with the plan.

The proposed Environmental Protection Agency rule rescinds a 2009 declaration known as the “endangerment finding,” which scientifically established that greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide and methane endanger human lives.

That finding is the foundation of the federal government’s only tool to limit the climate pollution from vehicles, power plants and other industries that is dangerously heating the planet.

The E.P.A. proposal, which is expected to be made public within days, also calls for rescinding limits on tailpipe emissions that were designed to encourage automakers to build and sell more electric vehicles. Those regulations, which were based on the endangerment finding, were a fundamental part of the Biden administration’s efforts to move the country away from gasoline-powered vehicles. The transportation sector is the largest source of greenhouse gas emissions in the United States."

* * * * * 

I find the above so, so very horrendous and sad.  Even though none of the above is surprising coming from tRump.... I am still shocked that all the Republicans just go along with this.  They need to remember that their very own Richard Nixon established the EPA.  

All Democrats are rightly and justly opposed to the two above moves, of course.  

I never thought I would witness such a thing occurring regarding science in my lifetime.

The EPA was a singular, governmental agency that I always admired and thought was truly non-partisan.  Having it be destroyed in this fashion is demoralizing.  

* * * * *

The Retiree's Cigar Group WAS extremely peaceful and enjoyable.  I am glad to have those friends.  

PipeTobacco  

Thursday, July 24, 2025

Thursday Thoughts


Running has been going well, and my knee discomfort (one leg) and my calf discomfort (the other leg) have significantly diminished through the several new, very purposeful stretches I have been incorporating the last two weeks.  

It is odd and frustrating how these discomforts arise.... sort of "out-of-the-blue" in most ways.  But, inevitably, I find that when I find some type of discomfort arise, it is DUE to some part of my running body (typically my feet or legs, but occasionally my hips) that has had muscles tighten and/or shorten in some fashion that results in the discomfort.   With running being such a repetitive pattern of motion, it is very logical that the feet/legs/hips would respond to that repetitive pattern.... I have read several articles about the phenomena over the years, so MENTALLY it is logical.... it just catches me off guard when it happens to my body, making me have to figure out some sort of stretch I need and should do to help counteract this natural shortening of muscles due to the repetitive patterns.  

The graphic image I show atop of this post says it is for "Achilles Tendonitis" which I DO NOT have. But, while those exercises are true and good for that condition, the graphic is also a good graphic for NORMAL, EVERYDAY stretching a person who runs should engage in to maintain limberness.  I have done variations of the above all through my running time... especially the stretches in the middle column. 

What I have found with my current challenges with my knee discomfort and calf discomfort is that I have modified (and added to) the above stretches by doing the above, PLUS repeating the middle column stretches with my foot inverted roughly 45 degrees as well (inverted clockwise for my left foot) and inverted counter-clockwise for my right foot).  In this way, I force an even stronger and deeper stretch to the lateral sides of each of my legs which has resulted in the decline (and now almost abolishment) of discomfort I had been experiencing.  

Ultimately, what I believe led to the discomfort arising, was that I believe I stopped paying attention to my feet position while running for a while.  When I was "hefty" (as is common for "hefty" folks) there was a tendency to splay the feet outward while ambulating.  I worked very diligently to learn and adopt a pure feet-forward gait and I have done so for many, many years now.  But, I do believe that sometimes, when I am not particularly conscious of it, I can fall back into a bit of splaying of my feet.  And, I suspect this may be what I have been doing the last several weeks with running (without being conscious of it) leading to the lateral side muscles of my legs tightening more than the medial muscles.... and leading to the discomfort.   

* * * *

I am going to finish up some additional work here, and then I get to (hopefully) have a grand old time at the Retiree's Cigar Group!  I hope it will be fun and relaxing and that nothing spoils that time.  

I have narrowed my pipe choice for my pictorial display of my fathers (biological and academic) down to one of three.  I may polish each one up completely before making the final decision.  

PipeTobacco

Wednesday, July 23, 2025

Questions on Something I Would Consider Fun

I do not know if anyone will be able to offer guidance on any of these questions or not.  But, I am very interested in any advice related to this hoped for fun goal for me:

Basically I am hemming and hawing a bit about the new computer system I am planning to get (at the order of my wife).  I like the basic design, so that is not the problem.  But I have this new "pipe dream" hope for the system, that it will allow me to do something I have always wanted to be able to do and now see a potential pathway for it to happen..... 

What I want to do is to play music, record it both audio and in video to show me playing..... I want to be able to do this for multiple parts (say like in a clarinet quartet, I would play one track for 1st clarinet, one for 2nd clarinet, one for alto clarinet, and one for bass clarinet.... but this could just as easily be for my saxes or even other things).  AND, I want to be able to merge these files together into a watchable, audio/video product that would be akin to something akin to what this fellow has done: 

An amazing Sample of John Wernega's work

Now, I am not hoping to be that amazing, of course, but I think it would be a whole helluva lot of fun to be able to do a simpler form of this and I think with the new computer system I am getting AND the iPad I ended up getting when my wife made us get new phones.... it just may be possible.

My end goals are two-fold:

1.  With the iPad, I have access to a program called "Garage Band" that would allow me to MERGE multiple vocal (or vocal & video) tracks together. I have checked out "Garage Band for Dummies" from the library and have been reading it diligently and it appears this is the (free) tool I most certainly can use.  THE GOAL here is to create a (greatly simplified) version of something akin to John Wernega's effort above, where I could perform each of the parts on a clarinet quartet or sax trio or some such thing and merge them together to be a (simplified) video like one of Wernega's.  

2.  I also want to set up on my (Windows PC) the current version of MuseScore (again free) that theoretically will allow me to compose whole wind band scores (sheet music for any and all instruments in a band for a song).  I have used MuseScore a bit already, but did so by typing and mousing in the notes etc, which is HORRIBLY tedious.  But, I have discovered that an option in MuseScore is that you can get music parts written considerably more easily by inputting information through a "MIDI" device (like the MIDI keyboard atop of this blog post).  I could/can play a part I want to create on the keyboard and it will (in theory) write it onto the MuseScore sheet music for me!  THE GOAL here is to a) first acquire a public domain song (meaning an OLD song) that I like, and to become an ARRANGER of that song with creating a complete wind band score that I can give my conductor to see if he might be willing to have our group perform it.  I want to take a song and arrange the parts in a new and complementary way for our group (and sneakily make the low winds parts more exciting as well) and then b) I would like to mess around to create a NEW composition of a song myself, which I would then like to develop into a wind band score to again give my conductor to see if he might be willing to have our group perform it.  

SO... what are my questions?????  They are all computer-gizmoey questions that I do not know how to answer but would love to hear advice on:

1.  The iPad is of course "Apple" based, but my computer system (by need & desire to be compatible with work at the U) is Windows PC based.  What I would ultimately like to do though, is to feed my iPad onto one of my new (Windows PC) computer monitors so that a) I could have Garage Band from my iPad be on a MUCH BIGGER SCREEN and also hopefully b) be able to use my keyboard and mouse (of the Windows PC machine) to operate Garage Band while it is projected onto the big monitor.  

I do not know if this is possible, but, I have read I CAN somehow with a cable connect my iPad to a Monitor, so I am thinking what I outline in 1 SHOULD be possible somehow, but I am at a loss on how to do this.  I am kind of envisioning the need for some sort of "hub" of some sort that may allow me to switch (easily I hope) between using the monitor/keyboard/mouse for the Windows PC and the iPad.  Is this possible, or is it only a pipe dream?  

2.  I am also wanting to know/understand if it is possible to (perhaps using the same "hub" I hope is possible for #1) have an easy way to attach my (to be purchased) MIDI keyboard to the Windows PC computer in a way that is EASY to also detach the cumbersome keyboard when I really do not want to use it?  The MIDI keyboard would be used to run MuseScore and build sheet music and I have MuseScore easily available on my Windows PC.  

So, those are the two things I would GREATLY appreciate ideas/opinions/advice about from all of you who may have ideas or understanding of what I am trying to accomplish.  For example, if there is some sort of "hub" I can use for either (or hopefully both) of the ideas above, what would be one to use or consider getting?  Or, if my ideas are balderdash, is there some other way I may be able to accomplish the above ideas (without having to buy an actual, separate Apple computer, which I do not want to do). 

* * * *

  • Running outside has been very nice.  Sometimes I am too damn lazy, though, and sleep in until 7 or even 7:30 which is a bit challenging as we have been having extremely bright, sunny mornings and I worry about sunburn (yes, I burn rather easily, even in early morning light if it is bright enough).  I have put sunscreen on the most exposed areas, but that is rather sticky and uncomfortable, so it would be far better if I would get up closer to or just before sunrise to run rather than the tawdry, decadent 7:30am.  
  • I am already looking forward to going to the Retiree's Cigar Group tomorrow!  It will be wonderful to chat with everyone.  I feel fortunate that my friend from Mass told me about it and invited me to come back when I first met him.  
  • I am still working on my photos (of my biological and academic fathers) that I want to hang in my office.  I *think* I have picked the right pipe too to have hanging above the photos.  At least, I think I know the one.  I am going to gently clean it up some and polish it and see how it looks for display in that way.  
PipeTobacco

 

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Not Helpful Mindset

 

This may sound foolish, and perhaps it is. 

It has been darn close to 20 years now that I accomplished the plan I set for myself to become a normal BMI (body mass index) by shedding roughly ~135 pounds.  Whereas I had been overweight my whole adult life, and for a considerable number of years I was just shy of 300 pounds (shy, meaning one or two pounds under).  

I have had a normal BMI (normal body weight for my height) (here is a National Institutes of Health BMI Calculator) of between 21 and 22 during this entire nearly 20-year period (a BMI of 21.5 is pretty much dead center in the "NORMAL" weight category, which is what I aimed for).   And, I have to admit that is something I am very glad I have been able to do.... and even more glad I have been able to maintain this loss.  

BUT.... even AFTER damn near 20 years..... I still psychologically view and see myself as a "hefty" person.  A person who is overweight usually has much more "baggage" than simply his body mass.  Society is not typically kind to folks with weight issues, and I admit to years of feeling embarrassment and shame about my size.  And, I still do not always "feel comfortable" in my own skin, as I feel INSIDE that I am still my "hefty" self with the same feelings of embarassment and discomfort at being "outside" the norm... even though I am a healthy (normal) BMI.  The old feelings do not readily disperse.  

I bring this up not because I FEEL this discomfort every day.  I do not.  There are many days where I exist and feel "average" and "normal" and that is rather enjoyable to feel.  But, it does not take much some days, to feel that my "normal" BMI is just temporary guise I wear, and that I am forever to be "hefty".  It is truly stupid thinking on my part.  I despise when I feel that way.  But, it is not always easy to not have those feelings.  

And, people who are in the "hefty" range SHOULD NOT have to feel so self-conscious nor embarrassed.   There is a television show my wife found that is called "My Big Fat Fabulous Life" that is about a young millenial who works to be positive about her "hefty" size.  I have grown to really appreciate watching this show, for while it is silly and very millenial in many regards, her message about a positive body image, regardless of one's size/shape is an important one, and I have often felt her messages in that regard are very helpful to me.  In a similar way, another show my wife found, that I watch has been "My 600-pound Life" which featured folks who were working to lose life-threatening weight, typically with bariatric surgery.  Their stories over the years have been helpful for me as well.  

I have NOT undergone bariatric surgery.  I lost my ~135 pounds via better eating, exercise,  and a helluva lot of stubbornness with myself.  In my OPINION, I think it is far too risky a surgery to undertake for most folks (exceptions perhaps when people are becoming so large as to cause a loss of their mobility).  The removal of parts of the stomach and intestine, while they can promote weight loss, the long term impacts of such drastic surgery are unknown and in my opinion are likely to be problematic.  Again, though the television program itself and the journey of these folks who were at risk of loss of mobility or even death (necessitating the surgery) has been helpful and inspiring to me in my own journey.  

PipeTobacco

Monday, July 21, 2025

Comments on Comments (July 21st Edition)



Below, as is my hoped for plan to continue.... on Mondays I will try to reply to select comments from the prior week.  I tend to like this approach more than trying to reply directly to a comment as they sometimes are not noticed by folks because most folks do not go back to a previous post.  The way I reply below has the person and their comment or comments in bold and my reply in normal font.  

AC

You mentioned that your vacation was short and partially work related. I am not sure if getting away for a few days like that meets the need that you might possibly have. Although that sounds like a diagnosis, it’s just a passing thought.

You are very possibly correct.  There is a challenge that is coming up too.  My wife has a few day "vacation" planned for us soon that involves challenging co-participants.  It does not seem like it will feel relaxing to me.

About the lack of passion: maybe it’s because sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. lol

Hah!  Freud has said many things worthy of joke material.  Fortunately, the time spent last Thursday at the shop with the others was quite relaxing and pleasant.  

I was wondering about the picture until you got to the end. Well played. Someday, you will be the bread.

I am glad you commented on the "Panini" picture.  It is very true that my wife's and my position in life can have us both feeling rather "pressed".  

As for your wife, she knows. I imagine it’s like being overweight. We all know but can’t help ourselves although I seem to have finally found the key that works for me.

Yes, she does know.  It is just a challenge in that she tends to "yo-yo" about her goals quite a bit.  Sometimes she is VERY gun-ho and does all the things to help her health improve, but then after a week or two or three, she then gives up for several weeks.  It is hard to see.  And, it is hard to adapt to.  

Finally for AC as well.... I thought you had a comment about how my "comments" post was so long that it could have filled several days of posts.... but now I could not find that comment.  Did you excise it?  If you did, there was no need to do so.... I thought it was a very valid and true point.  The comments days posts can be rather long.  But, somehow for me, it seems better to have them in one, rather predictable spot each week.  


DMP

The movie, ( and it's various awards for that matter) were products of its time ... lauding counter-culture tomes and anyone fighting against " the establishment".

True, I agree with you.  But, I did not actually expect the focus to be so primary on the most NEGATIVE of the counter-culture tomes.  There were MANY counter-culture tomes/norms that WERE very positive, and I had hoped that THEY would have been what formed the basis of the movie (especially with regard to all the awards the film earned).  I guess with Kesey being the author of the novel the film was based upon, my idea of the movie being more "positive" was a foolish pipe dream.


GaP

Saw it once. Probably won't see it again. I've veered off from cinema trips myself, but MAY make an exception for James Gunn's SUPERMAN, comic nerd that I am.

My youngest son convinced my wife and I to watch the film "F1" which was surprisingly quite good!  We had thought about seeing the "Karate Kid" revisited movie... but it left our theater too quickly for us to get there.  Our theater is overly focused on playing MOSTLY horror films lately.... they seem to occupy 80% of the space available year-round.... ever since Covid passed. 

 

Margaret

I liked it when I first saw it decades ago but I bet I wouldn't necessarily enjoy it now for many of the reasons you noted. It's strange how some films and books age well whereas others don't at all!

I cannot say for certain, but I think I would have been equally disturbed about this movie even if I had decided to see it in 1975.  I am finding I do not seem to actually like Jack Nicholson as an actor much.  I DID/DO like the films "Easy Rider" but thought Nicholson was not anywhere near as interesting as Dennis Hopper or Peter Fonda.  I also found "The Shining" to be reasonably good, but Nicholson's character still felt "performative" and not as real as other folks in the film.   

Thinking is OK, but overthinking is definitely ruinous to our peace of mind. It keeps us from living in and enjoying the present moments. (in my humble opinion!) In teaching, we can never leave our jobs at work, even when we're at home. I envy those who have the types of jobs where they put in their time and then forget about work when their shift is over.

What you say is indeed true.  OVERTHINKING (a more accurate term) does ruin our peace of mind.  And, teachers DO NOT generally leave their jobs at work, even though I technically think it SHOULD be possible to do so.... I should be able to do so after 40 some years of doing it now!  I have that as a more prominent goal for me.... namely, UNLESS I specifically PLAN to do work from home, I want to figure out a more successful way to leave work AT WORK at the end of the day.

We were expecting wildfire smoke but haven't gotten it yet. Fingers crossed! I think ours is coming from Eastern WA though. Hope the Cigar Group energizes you a bit. Now I'm wondering if I go through periods of apathy and if so, what knocks me out of them?

I have been happy that since late last week, our region has had reasonably healthy outdoor air quality which has allowed running outside.  Attending the Retiree's Cigar Group was the most peaceful, relaxed thing I was able to do last week.  I am grateful I have found that group and those new friends.  Being outside of work friends, work folks, and family is sometimes very helpful.   


Pat M

Professor, would I be correct to understand from your musings that your pipe smoking was formerly an auto-pilot pastime that didn't require great thought while providing a joyous background for all the thinking you had to engage in? 

Back in the "good-old-days" my pipe smoking was sometimes a somewhat autopilot pass time.  But, that only lasted until perhaps the early-to-mid 1990s to be frank.  When more and more regulations began to be established, it lost the "autopilot" aspect.  But, there has always been a purposeful aspect to my pipe smoking as well, and that is what persisted until I started on this sans-pipe journey more than seven years ago.  Truthfully, the "autopilot" aspect was somewhat superfluous (albeit fun and enjoyable) and so the transition to being only mindfully indulging was not overly challenging.  My mindful pipe smoking had always been the most pleasurable.  And, regarding my "thinking" time, it typically was a more purposeful time and was hence also a purposeful time with my pipes as well.  

...When you now write about indulging in your pipes, that seems to have changed; the theme now seems to be that you feel you could only indulge if you were to exert tremendous thought/will so as to control that indulgence in your formerly happy pastime. 

I believe that any pipe smoking I have done since at least the late 90s was always more "mindful" pipe smoking.  Mindful in that it would be more "planned" and "thoughtful" and not so much, just to fill time, if that makes sense.   I see the need to find a way to be "controlled" if I were to indulge today, to be a different question, a different idea.  This "control" I wish I definitively knew how to muster, would be simply to help ALLOW me to indulge in a bowlful in a valuable way that is both "mindful"... and also "unfettered".... but I am meaning unfettered as in without worry or without guilt or without fear of not doing what I say I will do.  And, for me, what I say is that I would want to return to smoking my pipe in a way that is metered.... meaning I can successfully turn it on and turn it off temporally.  As I had mentioned before, I KNOW I could accomplish this "metering" but I am not sure how much energy I would have to use to do so, but I suspect it may require a lot of my energy.  I fear that with a taste again of a beautiful pipe, I may LOSE the willingness to exert the needed energy TO meter myself. Currently, with the Retiree's Cigar Group, it feels easy and requires minimal energy to stop.  The talking and friendship is wonderful, and the cigar is pleasant, but because I never had a particularly strong bond or affinity for cigars, and had no real established pattern with them.... when I finish at the group, I do not feel a longing or even much of any worry about "falling off the wagon" to immediately want another one because the cigar is enjoyable, but it is NOT the wholly different and enchanted experience a pipe can be and typically is.   I am not sure if that actually makes sense for anyone reading the above, but it is the best way I can figure out how to state it at the moment.   

Professor, how often does your wife join you in swimming? 

She comes with me MOST of the time.  Perhaps once or sometimes twice a week, she has a conflict.  When we are together, our major focus is on brisk walking in a lane of the pool.  For me, I purposefully walk BACKWARDS..... for two reasons..... a) so I can face my wife and we can talk and chat more about our days, and b) so that the walking motion I do is oppositional pattern to the range of motion I do when running.... in effect, walking backwards helps me to stretch out the muscles that tighten through running forward... especially when I walk using deep, backward lunges which is the primary pattern I adopt.  I do the backwards walking anytime I am in the pool, even when alone, as it is a significant help to me stretching more fully.  I swim usually when my wife is not with me, sharing a lane.  

and

Furthermore, as you know from experience, exercise can also serve well as a mood regulator. If your wife is consumed with worries, a daily (or at least several times weekly) swim might help her cope better with the various family stresses she's facing.

Yes, we both feel the need for swimming (aka brisk lane walking) not only for the wonderful companionship when we are together, but also because it lets us each to shed some of the difficult moods that have accumulated across the day.  We both typically feel quite relaxed at the end of our time in the pool.   

So, I guess that is it for this week's comments.

PipeTobacco

Friday, July 18, 2025

Friday

 The Retiree's Cigar Group was enjoyable and pleasant.  I am glad I went.

My SIL unfortunately has had a severe change in her health where she has a "flesh-eating" bacterial infection (Necrotizing Fasciitis) that necessitated emergency surgery last night.  While not the only culprits, her poorly managed diabetes and her kidney dialysis both make this a horribly challenging issue for her.  The surgery was large and significant enough in and around her abdomen to require MedVac equipment that will remove fluids, debris, and create a negative pressure that will (hopefully) promote healing of the large wound space.  It often takes months of MedVac treatment for a wound of this sort to close.  

Of course, my wife (and I) are very scared and worried.  For me, it also brings up fears and worries about my wife's poorly managed diabetes as well.  I want to talk about it and I want to urge her to take the needed steps to work to prevent her from progressing down this path and also from progressing down the path of converting into Type 3 Diabetes like I believe her Mom has which resulted in her dementia.  But, right now is not the right time.  My wife does not like to talk about these things, and to try to do so, especially in this time of already heightened worry would not be fruitful.  But, my fears and anxieties do persist.  

* * * * *
I forgot to mention that the Air Quality Index had improved enough yesterday that I WAS able to run outside.  I also ran outside today because of better AQI readings.  It was nice being outside.

There has been a term bandied about referring to the "Sandwich Generation" which had typically referred to folks who would typically be in the 40s and 50s who were dealing with problems of their own children and simultaneously of their parents.  At least in MY OWN feelings on the matter, I feel I have been in a "Sandwhich Generation" mindset since my 20s and have felt it ever since and while I am in my 60s, I suspect that this "sandwiching" appears unlikely to ever end..... at least until I end, I guess.  

And, if I were to have coined the term for the "Sandwich Generation".... I would have instead called it the "Panini Generation" because the panini sandwich is literally squashed and toasted between two very hot griddles.  I feel like I am a panini.

PipeTobacco

Thursday, July 17, 2025

Appointments

 


I have two appointments today.  One "official" and one "chosen" even though technically both were chosen by me.....

1)  I am going to get some "hand-holding" in one appointment with a book publisher's IT folks for two of my Fall courses.  In these courses, I have adopted some of their "gizmo-ey" electronica to facilitate learning in these two courses (actually, it amounts to a bunch of "busy-work" for the students that if they do, it can earn them a few minor points).  

I have had these in use since the pandemic, when I NEEDED SOMETHING to supplement my on-line teaching of that era.  I have kept them, not because I think they are particularly valuable, but because students seem to appreciate having them as part of an otherwise all in-person course.  I tend to think they value the scraps of points they can earn.  But, it also highlights to me their somewhat ambiguous understanding of percentages and points.... for these electronica assignments are worth very, very limited amounts of points.  A single exam (of the many exams they have) that they could study harder for is worth the point value of about 50 of these electronica type assignments.   

The "hand-holding" I receive is in a brief (usually 20 minute meeting online) that helps me connect this electronica to my LMS (jargon for "Learning Management System" which simply means my "electronic classroom" or EVEN MORE ACCURATELY the space I store all the various documents, powerpoints, assignments etc to be able to distribute to my students.  This hand-holding helps me more accurately align dates and times because every damn semester the calendar changes ever so slightly and without there help, I would likely have to do hundreds and hundreds more mouse clicks to align dates successfully to the new semester.  

2)  My "chosen" appointment is to head to the "Retiree's Cigar Group".  I know it will almost assuredly be a nice time.  But, I do wish I felt more of the "passion" or "excitement" about going that I have had.  It is all a part of that seeming lack of ability I have to figure out a way to "rev-up" my engine (my mind) to feel things MORE (joyfully in this case).  

* * * * *

I am getting really, REALLY tired of needing to run inside because of poor air quality alerts.  The Canadian Wildfires are such an annoyance to me individually by not safely permitting me to run outside like I would prefer.   Obviously, though, there are EVEN BIGGER issues related to the wildfires related to a) health and safety of those near the fires,and b) the link of these persistent fires to global warming.  I can easily recognize those are far bigger and far more important issues.  But, I guess, here on my blog, I can focus on the impact on me.  

PipeTobacco