Hot

The temperatures are expected to be VERY high all this week (90 - 97 degrees (32 - 36 C)), and bright and sunny) all week with nary a cloud in sight.  Generally, that is pleasant enough, even though we have  very high humidity where I live. 

But, the heat is still now even quite pronounced in the morning as well and the sun, without any clouds is very intense even at 6:30 - 7:30 in the morning.  So, I started today to be in my "Sasquatch Mode" in regards to running. 

Due to the heat and humidity even in the early morning, I am going to run shirtless.  Now, as a very hirsute, grey-haired, old codger with a big grey beard and mustache as well, when I go shirtless, I tend to look like a "Sasquatch" or a "Yeti" and probably frighten people, pets, and farm animals alike.

But.... I hit the trail today at 4:30am when just enough of light was starting to appear to be able to run safely and yet I also avoided the harshness of the sun from lack of cloud cover as well.... as the official sunrise was not until about 5:45am.  So, luckily today I saw no people, and no pets, and only a few squirrels... and the squirrels were focused on other pursuits. 

So, my plan is to run this early, and to run shirtless every day this week during this heat wave.  It really only makes sense.  When I ran on Monday with a shirt at 6:30am, the sun was already pretty intense, and by the time I was done, my shirt was very literally dripping wet due to both the exertion and the humidity.  It was sticky and clammy feeling during most of the run. 

I have to say, it is an oddly "amimalistic" feeling to only be wearing a pair of running shorts, and socks and shoes and being out-and-about on a public trail.  I am used to normally being fully covered when exercising, and when not exercising in my shirt, pants, tweed jacket and hat.  I kind of "like" the feeling I guess.... it is putting me out of my comfort zone, that is for damn sure.  But... it is the most logical way to go at the moment. Hopefully being so early in the day, I will not be running past any actual people. 

PipeTobacco

Toe

I have been experiencing a bit of discomfort in the second toe on my left foot for a few weeks.  When I look at the toe, it is calloused, and the toe-nail feels like it has been bashed around. 

So, when this first started a few weeks ago, I went searching online for potential answers.  The common response I found was:

"Causes. Your toenails are sore and throbbing after a run because your toes are being slammed into the tip of the toe box of your shoe with every step, especially as you go downhill. There are a couple of elements that can contribute to this: Your shoes are too small."

This seemed potentially why I might have had this discomfort..... I have been wearing a size 12 (US, size 46 EU) for the past 3-4 years (moving up from an 11 (US, size 45 EU) before that time.  So, my initial plan was to try out my next pair of running shoes in a larger size. 

But, then, I kept reading more, and was looking at various diagrams of typical foot patterns (you can see one such diagram above).  My toe pattern is most like the "Egyptian" pattern shown above.  The chart is interesting.... my wife's feet fit more the "Germanic" pattern. 

And, when I kept reading about the various ideas of how shoe size would relate to this injury, I realized that it was very UNLIKELY that the cause of my discomfort was as suggested.... because.... such a size related injury would affect primarily the longest toe of the five, which for me would be the Giant Toe (big toe).  And, my Giant toe (big toe) was perfectly fine on both feet.  It was only, very specifically my second toe on my left foot that was affected. 

This made me question what *could* be the cause then.  I feel awfully damn foolish to tell you.... I believe I have now discovered the answer..... I decided to feel the inside of my shoe where my toe would reside..... now.... please know I had shaken out my shoes many times thinking there might be a pebble or something lodged inside.  But, there was never anything. 

BUT... when I felt deep into the toe box of the shoe, directly ABOVE where my second toe would sit in the shoe.... I felt a very distinct "bump" in the fabric... somewhat like a small stalactite, that was VERY firm and prominent.  It was a part of the architecture of the shoe itself, not something lodged in there. 

So, what I decided to test was.... instead of wearing these current shoes (with ~1800miles (almost 3000km) on them).... I went back and got out my shoes from the year BEFORE (which had about the same miles on them when I stopped using them) and wore them while running all last week. 

My toe NO LONGER has any pain or discomfort.  It is not fully back up to snuff, because it is still calloused, and the nail bed looks a little bruised still.... but it is decreasing.  So, now I think I have the answer... the "stalactite" bump in my damn shoes caused this. 

Now, I still was perplexed at how this bump developed in my shoe.  It was NOT there when I bought the shoes last year.  My best guess, looking back on my running record is that when I tripped on one of my runs about 5 or so weeks ago (the time where I scraped my knee and hyperflexed my foot causing it to swell for a few days).... I suspect when I hyperflexed the foot, I hyperflexed the shoe in some way that caused some tearing and bunching of the material (padding) between the shoe's outer layer and the inner layer leading to the development of this bump. 

It is only a theory of course.... but it seems logical given that the timing of onset of the issue and it going away by wearing older shoes instead.... seems to fit together. 

I am glad.... it was bugging me.  I am gearing up for an appointment this week to get all masked up and social distance as best as I can and go to the shoe store that has now received in the two pairs of shoes I am considering as my new running shoes for the next year in my "clodhopper" size 12s. 

I ran 7.6 miles this morning with no discomfort.... using the old pair of running shoes from two years ago.  But, I have to admit, I am kind of looking forward to a new pair.... even though the damn expensive cost of these shoes makes me feel awfully guilty. 

PipeTobacco

Mass

In the first reading of Mass today, we heard the story of Elisha, who foretold of a woman (and husband) who would have a child in part due to the couple's kindness. 

I had not really known much if anything about Elisha, so I decided to look him up.  Here is a bit of what I found:

Elisha was according to the Hebrew Bible, a prophet and a wonder-worker. Also mentioned in the New Testament and the Quran, Elisha is venerated as a prophet in Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

He is venerated as a saint where he is commemorated in the calendar of saints of the Carmelites, a Catholic religious order, since a decree of the Carmelite General Chapter of 1399. 

Saturday Run

Just back from my run.




This week, I ran over 50+ miles (80+ km).  This is the largest total for a week in my running (I walk on Sundays, not run) I have had thus far.  This new weekly total for me is from running for six days. For a furry-faced old fellow, that is not too damn shabby.

PipeTobacco

Blah

Just a day of reading a big bunch of papers.  Reading them electronically gives me a weird type of eyestrain, and putting comments on electronically is time consuming.  I much prefer at this point, to have papers in tangible paper form, and to use a trusty red pen for commenting.  But, that is not possible of course. 

Over the years, I have had several students comment to me that their paper, when I returned it to them, would have the odor of my pipe tobacco upon them.  It was very much my "norm" to always have one or several pipes with me when I was reading through these writing attempts from students. The pipe tobacco, it seems, helped to clarify my vision of the content of the students words on the page.  

Things change... but work continues, I guess. 

I ran 8.2 miles today.

PipeTobacco

8 +

I ran 8.5 miles (14 km) this morning.  But, I did the first 7.5 as usual, and then I came and got my dog and took her for a mile run as well.  She used to run with me very frequently.... except in the Winter when I did not run outside.  Normally what I have done in the past is each Spring when I resume running outside, I take her initially on short distance runs for a few days and eventually work her back up to being able to run the full length with me. 

Unfortunately, when I was required to start running outside around March 15th due to Covid-19, I was too keyed up and stressed about damn near everything, so I did not actually think about getting my dog back into running again.  I started to think about this about the second week in June, feeling guilty I hadn't gotten her out on the trail with me. 

I may be overly cautious in working my dog slowly back up to running.  But, I feel safer with this to ensure that she will not get hurt.  She did wonderfully today with her mile.  She will be able to build back up pretty quickly. 

I am carrying around a pipe with me again, as a sort of pacifier, I guess.  I haven't mentioned it in a while, but I am still in that difficult mindset where the desire for having a pipe is so much more surprisingly strong that it was even a month ago.  It is a real struggle to resist, even though I know that sounds awfully damn dumb. 

PipeTobacco

"Wooly-Bully"

While it is not really one of my "favorite" songs by any stretch of the imagination... it is one that I have heard hundreds upon hundreds of times over the course of my life.   The song is "Wooly Bully" by Sam the Sham and the Pharaos, and it was first released in 1965.  I bring up this song because:

1.  I am not sure if this happens to any of you or not, but for me, through most of my life, I watch, or observe things in my day-to-day life, and very frequently, a song lyric will jump to the forefront of my mind in response to what I am viewing. 

2.  This kind of "song association" with seeing some general item is something I remember happening to me since I was a very young kid.  Most of the time the song that occurs in my mind has lyrics, but not always.  Most of the time there is some sort of connection to the lyrics and what I am observing... but not always.

3.  One example of a lyric I hear OFTEN (not always, but often) when I see some sort of writing utensil (like a pen or pencil) is "America" by Simon & Garfunkel.  There is nothing about a pen or pencil in that song, but for some reason, perhaps because the song's lyrics are somewhat like a journal, I often hear it associated with seeing a writing utensil.   

4.  So, back to "Wooly Bully".... again I never really liked the song much (didn't *hate* it, but it was never a favorite).  But.... the song does STICK in my mind, like a fly trap.  In my mind, I always imagined that a "Wooly Bully" was some sort of big beast-like animal of some sort.  

The conclusion of my thoughts today..... When I got back from my 7.5 mile (12 km) run this morning, I went upstairs to shower before getting dressed and getting to work on the computer.  When I looked at myself in the mirror.... keeping in mind I have not had a haircut or beard/mustache trim since Covid-19 started and I was due for a haircut back then..... the song "Wooly Bully" started to play in my mind. 

Now this damn song has been running through my mind all day. 

I went and tried to do a bit of research on the song.... here is a little bit of information about the song that I gleaned from Wikipedia:

""Wooly Bully" is a reworking of the 1962 tune "Hully Gully Now" by Big Bo & The Arrows. The song was given the green light after Sam (the Sham) rewrote the lyrics famously replacing "Hully Gully" with "Wooly Bully" and few additional lyrical changes. 

The lyrics of "Wooly Bully" were hard to understand, and some radio stations banned the song. The lyrics describe a conversation between "Mattie" and "Hattie" concerning the "Wooly Bully" (a creature which Mattie describes as "a thing she saw [that] had two big horns and a wooly jaw") and the desirability of developing dancing skills,  According to Sam (the Sham): "The name of my cat was 'Wooly Bully', so I started from there." 

PipeTobacco

Index Cards & Recipes

When my mother came to live with me, my wife and kids back in 2002 due to her declining health, one issue happened that saddens me to this day.  From my very earliest memories as a young kid of perhaps age three or so, I remember always enjoyed looking at and reading the many recipes my mother had written down on index cards from books, family, and friends that she kept in a small box in the kitchen cupboard.  The cards were often tattered or stained with droplets of various ingredients, but they were all well used and really wonderful to look at and examine. 

My mother used them regularly to make all sorts of wonderful dishes and desserts for my Dad, me, and my siblings all while I was growing up.  And, as a kid, I used them quite often as a "starting point" to make my own "special" food creations as well.  I liked baking as a kid, and the budding "scientist" in me always had be experiment with anything I made.  I am the same to this day.  I think of a formal recipe as more of a  basic path towards creating something different and unique.  I would for instance, take the basic plan of how to make, say, a vanilla cake, and then rummage through the cupboards to see what other "stuff" we had, like spices, nuts, other flavorants, colors, etc... and make something more unique. 

Well, after my mother had been in her new home with us for a few weeks, and she felt more settled and happy, I ended up getting an itch to try to make something for us all, and I thought I would try to bake a cake that I based off of an old recipe I was remembering was a little different in my Mom's recipe box.  But, I didn't remember seeing it amongst the various things we had unpacked from her move to live with us.  I asked her if she remembered where it might be, presuming it was likely in one of the couple of boxes we had still to unpack that contained things she didn't really want early on after the move. 

Unfortunately, she said that she had thrown it out a few weeks before, while she was packing, because it was "dirty" and "old".  It made me horribly sad.  I tried my best to not show it, but I was so very sad that the little box of recipes was gone.  I didn't cry in front of my mother, but that evening, I did while talking with my wife. 

PipeTobacco

Exams and Thoughts

My workload for today is fairly labor intensive, but I am taking a bit of a break for a moment to post my array of thoughts as I take a brief break:

• Goals for today... finalize the writing of an exam for my course.  In this case, because it is needing to be given on-line... that takes considerably more effort.  I can, in a normal paper exam, get a good, strong exam together very swiftly after all these years.  But, the method of getting an exam with appropriate rigor into an electronic format.... takes (at least for me) about three time longer because of all the fussy little details of how an exam has to be written within the online format.  One of the major fussy aspects is the huge number of mouse clicks that each and every question requires.  I have used a mouse for decades of course, but in this electronic environment for an electronic exam... I estimate that I have to use my mouse about 8-10 times for EACH question.  Typing out the question in a normal word processor is much faster and easier and I need a much more modest "mouse" usage per question (perhaps one time or less per question).  Mouse usage really slows down the process, as if I only need to use a keyboard, I touch type well enough that do not have to keep shifting my focus.  But, each mouse click a) takes my hand away from the keyboard, and b) requires a different, slower type of focus. 

• Father's Day was pleasant with all my kids and my wife and I having a very pleasant day together.  As has become a bit of a tradition, we ended up having a relatively traditional "Thanksgiving" style dinner together... as the foods are a favorite of everyone (even the specific two of my kids who are vegetarian really like this, as we make everything OTHER than the turkey and turkey gravy itself, vegetarian).  We had besides turkey and turkey gravy, vegetarian gravy, baked, spicy mashed potatoes, yams, green bean casserole,  vegetarian stuffing, rolls, cranberries.  Instead of pumpkin pie though for dessert (I had made that last week), we had a chocolate angel food cake with strawberries that I made instead.

• I had taken flowers to the cemetery on Saturday, and spent some time at my father's grave and at my father-in-law's grave.  I wanted to have a pipe while I sat there at each grave thinking about each of them.  I miss both of them a great deal.  I also felt a mixture of emotions about my NOT smoking a pipe then... some sense of resentment that I did not know if I should have done so, since it felt appropriate to do so, but I was not sure about if I was just thinking about doing so just because of my own selfish wanting to do so, some of my emotions were sad that I could not simply smoke there as I had always done, and instead it now had to be a "debate" internally about whether or not to do so.... it wasn't just a natural behavioral response.  I will be going to collect the flowers later this afternoon, most likely... if they have not been a victim of someone's "five-finger-discount".  I will then replant them around somewhere for use at the house like I did for the Mother's Day flowers and the Memorial Day flowers.  

• In the late evening, I pulled out a variety of photos of my Dad all the way from his time of service in World War II, to later in life.  I see more physical aspects in myself now from my Father's images than I used to.  It seems when I was younger, that I tended to favor more many of the facial features of my Mother's side of the family.  Now in old age, it seems to me I just did not notice the finer details... and my own appearance is much more of a truly even split between both sides of my family.  

• I got up especially early to run today (5:05am) because I decided I had damn well better run my "big run" for June this morning.  So, I did my 13.1 mile run (21km run) this morning.  I was able to finish 1 minute and 30 seconds beyond two hours.... so I was pretty comfortable with that.  I am glad it is done for June.  I was worried, because I typically like to run this "big run" on a Monday because I tend to have more energy.... and there is only ONE other Monday left in June... I did not want to chance waiting and having it have rough weather. 

• Enough of my rapid-fire spewing of thoughts for today.  I have to get back to the damn exam.  

PipeTobacco

Hmm. Sunday Did Not Post...

I am not sure why Sunday did not post.  I was trying out the new Blogger interface for the first time, but it *did not* seem overly complicated.  But, perhaps I did something wrong in posting.  I am using the old interface today, just to be sure I can post.  Here is what I had written for Sunday:

"Mass Thoughts" (Original title to the Sunday post.)

From Mass today:

“Fear no one.
Nothing is concealed that will not be revealed,
nor secret that will not be known."

Good words to think about and remember.  It speaks to me to be true to self, and to only work to be good towards others.  What a person says and what they do.... all the time.... matters.  I hope and that I am a good and kind person.  I know that is what I want to be.  I know though, that I can be better.  I know I should work to be better.

PipeTobacco

Gardening

My wife and I spent time weeding the garden today and washing groceries.  Also went to visit (with social distance protocols), my elderly mother-in-law. I also accomplished my run.

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Blowing in the Wind

Just a bunch of thoughts (as seems to be my mind most days of late):

• A student introduced me to "Pandora" about three years ago and it has been wonderful for me.  I "knew" of the service... but he showed me that there was a FREE version that would play a brief commercial every once in a while.  I had always thought it was only available as a pricey, monthly service... which I was not willing to pay for.  
• I have a variety of channels that I have created on Pandora and listen to different ones depending upon my mood.  I have a general jazz channel, a Miles Davis channel, a saxophone channel, a clarinet channel, a jazz saxophone channel, a musical theater channel, an acoustic guitar channel, a Chicago channel, and a Crosby, Stills, and Nash channel.  I do have a few others, but these are the ones I gravitate to the most.  
• I was listening this morning to the Crosby, Stills and Nash channel and since the way Pandora works, is that in a channel, not only do they play the specifics requested in that channel, but the system has an algorithm of some sort that will also rotate in other "similar" quality music.  I like that feature as it allows me to add in a lot of favorites that are great (one memorable add that I still overjoyed about its rotating in regularly is "More Today Than Yesterday" by the Spiral Starecase.  I have acquired several really wonderful songs this way.
• Well, today, "Dust in the Wind" by Kansas rotated in again on my Crosby, Stills and Nash channel.  Such a beautiful song, but as I was sitting here working at the damn computer on my classes, the lyrics of the song hit me really hard emotionally and big, heavy tears brimmed over my eyelids and into my beard.  I had to take a break for about 20 minutes to get myself back into some semblance of focus again to keep working.
• We tend to store some of our seasonal clothes in a rolling rack in the basement during their "off season" so that we have a bit more "elbow room" in our closets for the seasonally appropriate clothes.  While working on an clarinet I am refurbishing yesterday, I went and brought up a few Summer shirts I had not worn the past couple of years.  They are of the vibrant, "peacock strutting his stuff" slightly garish "Hawaiian shirt" variety.  I felt like I needed to be a bit more vivid this Summer.  The shirt I wore this morning is covered in a cavalcade of different sport fish and fishing gear.  It feels comfortable and fun.  
• When I reached into the shirt pocket, I found a couple of crumbles of pipe tobacco as I had probably last worn the shirt somewhere or other where I had a filled and ready to smoke pipe in my pocket, and a few strands had fallen out.  It was odd... I have my pipes and pipe tobaccos all over the place sitting here in my office, but finding those few crumbles in the pocket of my shirt did feel so very poignant.   
• The fellow in the image on the top of this post is reasonably adept at blowing smoke rings from his pipe.  I was quite skilled at the art of blowing smoke rings, and could easily produce multiple rings on request.  Blowing in the Wind, Dust in the Wind.... roller coaster emotions and all.  

PipeTobacco

There Is Some Sort of Difference

<sup>If you drop a frog in a pot of boiling water, it will of course frantically try to clamber out. But if you place it gently in a pot of tepid water and turn the heat on low, it will float there quite placidly. As the water gradually heats up, the frog will sink into a tranquil stupor, exactly like one of us in a hot bath, and before long, with a smile on its face, it will unresistingly allow itself to be boiled to death.

— A version of the “boiling frog metaphor” from Daniel Quinn's “The Story of B”

The “boiling frog” story is generally offered as a metaphor cautioning people to be aware of some forms of negative gradual change lest they suffer eventual undesirable consequences. It may be invoked in support of a slippery slope argument as a caution against creeping normality for a whole host of different things.  

For me, the "boiling frog metaphor" helps me to put into context some of the sadness and frustration I have been working through.  There are a couple of folks in my life that I am thinking about most specifically in regards to this metaphor, but to try to explain my thoughts and ideas about these close folks would take more time than I unfortunately have to write this morning, and would more than likely be so long a post that it would not be particularly valuable.

But, on a bigger picture level, this same "boiling frog metaphor" applies to many constructs in modern society.  There is an incredible difference in several aspects of society that have gradually changed that IMO make modern society far more hurtful, mean, unkind, non-inclusive, and definitely not working towards the common good:</sup>

• ^{The change in view of science.  It has now become "ok" and regularly the "norm" to accept the idea that anti-science folks can simply spout their false and unreasoned notions about science, scientific process, health research, environmental research, and on-and-on.... and it is viewed as "perfectly fine" and "equally important and valid a viewpoint" as science and scientific findings are in determining societal/governmental policies.}

• ^{The change in discourse.  The rude, obnoxious trash-talking that goes on so utterly vehemently on television, in social media, and in general society has grown and become the "norm" rather than the exception in most any discussion where people have different views.  It is so, so very hurtful and is (at least for me, although I firmly believe it is true for all of society) harmful sociologically and  psychologically.  And, this is so, so frequently on both sides of the viewpoint of a topic.... it occurs with folks whose basic opinion I disagree with, but also with the folks whose basic opinion I am in agreement with.  It is just so very, very harsh.}

• ^{The change in politics.  This is not just being against Trump.... it goes much farther back than that.  Trump is just the current pinnacle of this "boiling frog metaphor" but it started far more gradually, and was started IMO in the early 1980s with the ways politicians began to think of compromise and cooperation as NEGATIVES.  It did start out slowly, but look where we are today.}  

<sup>The above overview highlights why I think why our broader society is near the point of lethal temperatures at the moment, but we basically do not and have not noticed because it has been horrendously insidious and gradual.  In many ways it is this same with some folks in my more local, day-to-day life.  And this disappoints and hurts me to realize.

PipeTobacco</sup>
 

Knot

Bulleted list:

• Still feeling low. A mixture of feeling hurt, angry, and resentful.  Some of it is towards people, some of it is towards situations, and some of it is at myself.

 

• Running was the last thing I wanted to do at 5:30am this morning, but I did it.   I am glad I did it, but also glad it is over for the day.

 

• Having hopes and dreams in life used to seem valuable and important.  Lately it just seems foolish and dumb for me to have those types of thoughts.

 

• So much of what I do (or any of us do for that matter, I guess) is just a bunch of nothing.

 

•  In my mind today, I am seeing a difference between "serving others" and being a "servant".  They may sound similar, but their application and context are far different. 

PipeTobacco

Feeling Very Blah

I am feeling emotionally spent.

Nothing more to say today than that.

PipeTobacco

Officially 28 Months

Today, it is now officially a full 28 months since I laid down my beautiful, beloved pipes and pipe tobaccos.  It has been one helluva journey, if truth-be-told.  I realize and can know deep inside myself that I will FOREVER love, relish, and appreciate smoking a pipe and will always find pipe tobaccos to truly be a "nectar from the gods" form of worldly delight.  I do not think I can think of or imagine one thing I do not like about the hobby or avocation.

But, my journey away from their graceful charms has been rather unique.  What I had anticipated was that there would be a gradual downward slope in terms of the intensity of the feelings/yearnings I would have about pipes and pipe tobaccos.  Even when I started, I knew better than to imagine never thinking about pipes and pipe tobaccos.  But, I thought each day away would progressively become just a little bit easier, and that with enough time, it would be more manageable. 

Yet, that has not proven to really be the case.  While, admittedly, there has been some decline in desires, it is not a straight slope or even a parabolic downward shape.  But, instead it is a whole series of peaks and valleys.  The valley's are reasonably easy to stand firm in my resolve.  Yet, the peaks are not appreciably different than the first day I laid down the bowl of the burley filled, full bent briar pipe I last smoked 28 months ago.  I just *do not* see a logical reason for this unpredictable up spiking that occurs in my desires.  But, regardless, I have to accept that as what is apparently "normal".  Still, it does not make logical scientific sense for this to happen.  It does not make philosophical sense either.  I suspect the up-and-down vacillations are more than likely due to psychological factors.

While running this morning, after finishing my Rosary, I began to contemplate about if I had an opportunity to revisit a time in my life I would enjoy the most with my pipes, when would that be?  This is a question I thought of without specific thoughts to the major milestones of life.... so I was not trying to associate my date with things like marriages, or births, or deaths, or graduations, or transitions of any sort.  Just simply when it was the MOST pleasurable of all the pleasurable times I have had with a pipe.  Within the multiple decades I have been smoking a pipe, I narrowed my preference down to the mid 1970s into the early 1980s.  I think this period of time felt especially robust for me as a pipe smoker because a) smoking in general was still widespread enough that pipe smoking was still commonly viewed as the "special" way to be a smoker, b) yet, at that time, pipe smoking already was slightly out of the mainstream, and had a tad of an arcane and also eclectic flair to it, c) I felt established enough in my position in life that I didn't feel like a "newbie" to most things, and d) it was a period where people generally were more congenial in general and not as polarized about things, including smoking. 

I do not know where I am at, concerning my "accomplishment" of these past 28 months.  I do think about restarting with my pipes.  Especially during the last two weeks or so, it has been something I have been contemplating.  But.... I truthfully do not know. 

PipeTobacco

Solemnity

The term "solemnity" refers to the state or quality of being serious and dignified.  This week in my Roman Catholic faith it is the "Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ" that is being celebrated at Mass.  For those of us who are Roman Catholic, it is an especially important day for us.  It helps us to renew our appreciation for the gift of the Eucharist we receive at Mass.  It is always one of my very favorite days in the liturgical year.  Although we are still not able to attend Mass in person due to Covid-19, I am still very, very fortunate I can participate in Mass through watching our Diocesan stream of the Mass that the Bishop is holding each week.  It is NOT the same as being at Mass, but it is what I am able to do at the moment, and for that I am thankful.  I have about 1/2 hour before it begins today. 

I look forward to when it is safe to return to Mass.  

PipeTobacco

Trying to Be a Busy Beaver

I got up early and ran my miles already this morning, so I am now a little over 40 miles (~65km) total for the week and it is only Saturday morning.  I can either run again on Sunday if desired or just walk instead.  Hitting that 40 mile minimum mark each week has been a goal for me since a few weeks prior to the start of Covid-19.  Prior to that time, I was typically in the 30-35 mile per week range.  I am gearing up to work like hell on all the tasks I have envisioned I will complete!

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Continue... Repeat...

As has become my norm this week, thoughts are a whirl of different bits and pieces, so another bulleted list:

• News..... at least my consumption of it.... WAY DOWN from my usual.  Since the demise of daily newspaper delivery of any MEANINGFUL NEWSPAPER, my new consumption shifted to primarily NPR and some smaller amount of CNN.  I still (pre Covid-19) would pick up a New York Times perhaps 2-3 times a week at either 7-11 or a coffee shop (again pre Covid-19).  But, whereas before, I would typically listen to NPR for most work hours when I wasn't lecturing and watch CNN for an hour or so with my wife in the evenings.... that has changed during Covid.  There is, for me, too much repetitiveness currently in the news with scant depth EVEN in NPR of late.  My current consumption of news has changed to no New York Times (due to no 7-11 or coffee shop visits since Covid-19), and perhaps 15 minutes of NPR in the morning and 15 minutes of CNN in the evening.  

•  I ran 7.3 miles this morning (~12 km) this morning and pushed myself to a new speed PR for that distance this morning.  It felt good.  I think the cooler temperatures (~58 degrees F (~14 C)) inspired me.  I am still considering trying to buy a new pair of (damn expensive) shoes.  With ~500 miles recommended for replacing shoes by shoe salespeople, I have to grudgingly admit that at ~1,700 I probably should get a new pair.

• Foods.... after I finished praying the Rosary during my run this morning, I drifted off into a mental exercise while I completed running about certain food preferences at the moment... and was imagining what variety of a few items I would choose if I was to become limited to only one type.  So, for instance, I thought about if I could have only one type of nut to consume, which type would I select.... and my answer was "roasted almonds".  In my thoughts, I was primarily considering that if I had to limit to one, which one would I think would be the most flavorful and useful for me in the long term.  So.... nuts = roasted almonds; fruit = bananas; grain = oats (oatmeal); legumes = black beans; vegetable = broccoli.  The vegetable one was especially challenging to pick only one.  I would have liked to select "salad" but that is a multifaceted affair, so it would not count.  

•  In addition to "Watermelon Man" which I wrote about a few days ago, I have another song that I am working through on the tenor saxophone now and have found a nice backing instrument track to play along to.  The new song is "I'm in the Mood for Love".  I have always enjoyed this song, but I was inspired when I found some sheet music that was nicely set up with also some "improvisation suggestions" that I found intriguing and inspiring... improvisation is not a thing I am particularly skilled at, so I was excited to find some guidance and perhaps I can become better at it.

• I am planning to work like a Tasmanian Devil on cleaning and organizing the garage this weekend, and on thoroughly weeding the garden.  I am *hoping* that I get to a point where I can spend time hanging a few cabinets along one garage wall.  I believe my youngest son will likely be available to help me with the hanging and positioning of these cabinets.  I am also planning to give some plant food to the garden plants and the flowering plants in the yard.  

• I cannot say my pipe yearnings have diminished in any appreciable way since I last wrote about them yesterday.  I am at a loss on how to get the yearning to return to its more manageable levels that it HAD been before the last 10 days or so.   I keep thinking perhaps doing *some* of the rituals without actually smoking my pipes might help to carry me through this time until the strong yearnings dissipate.  So, in addition to keeping a pipe in my shirt pocket that I can fiddle with through the day, I have now started to carry around one of my Zippo pipe lighters and fiddle with that too.  I am hoping it will help satiate some of this and not actually be a step on a slippery slope.  But... we shall see I guess. 

• Oh, I also almost forgot!  I am going to tear all the old damn plastic "doo-dads" from the dish washer and replace them with the new plastic "doo-dads"  this afternoon and get the beast back up to top form (I hope!).   

• One other thing I have been thinking about for some odd reason on my run this morning... with the lawn in an especially freshly mowed state at the moment, I have been thinking about digging out our old croquet set this weekend and trying to entice family to play.   

PipeTobacco

Bulleted List on Thursday

As it seems it is where my mind is at, I am going to again post a scattering of thoughts I am having.  It may perhaps be a sign that I am not of clear focus, or who knows what:

• I awoke feeling very grumpy feelings towards the person I do not find pleasant or appropriate at work.  I felt a lot of the old hurts caused by the mean-spirited, unfortunate person. 

• I ran, and ran hard this morning at 6:15am, and it helped to dissipate some of my feelings I awoke with.  Unfortunately not all, but a lot of them.  I hope to continue to have them dissipate today. 

• I have signed up for some training in specialized "Zoom" and "Teams" features that will help give ideas on how to better navigate these programs within a classroom setting.  I have used both, and both seem decent, but I am hoping I *am* going to learn some things to make their use even better. 

• Just as I feared, there is already a noticeable spiking in Covid-19 cases in the states here that "opened-up" two or so weeks ago.  I suspect that *most* of this spiking is associated with folks who do not think.... and disregard the guidance of safe social distancing practice and mask usage... which is still critical even as communities open up to a degree.  I suspect we are on an at least one-month surge in the development of new cases because of so many states having opened up... but again it is not the opening up that I think is the major problem... it is the disregard for how to BEHAVE during this opening up period that is going to fail us all.  I really do fear the soon to be noticeable surge in cases due to the unfortunately widespread lack of PPE use during the protests. 

• It makes me sad and frustrated that the disregard or ignoring of scientific guidance is so widespread.  It effects all of us, for with an upsurge, then the risks even with PPE also increase. 

• I *STILL* want to smoke a pipe... and the feelings about it are *still* very intense.  I simply do not understand WHY the intensity of my desire has changed for the last several days and has been comparable to the initial feelings I had when I first laid down my pipes roughly 26 months ago.  It does not make sense to me that the feelings and emotions have roared back into this level of intensity.  This morning, I have taken to holding an empty pipe in my mouth as I work to see if that will quell some of the desires.  

• I need to try to get done with my necessary teaching work as soon as possible today.  I need to try to find some time to be "off" of work this afternoon, so I do not feel like I am constantly working.   

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Thunder and Power Outage

Random thoughts again, as my mind is scattered:

• Due to some severe thunderstorms going through my region, we unfortunately lost power for a few minutes late this morning.  The MOST unfortunate aspect of this was that I was very close to being finished with a video lecture I was creating for my students... and unfortunately the platform we are required to use at the U for this purpose streams the material while it is being produced.  When the power went out, and then came on a few minutes later (and followed by an ~10 minute restart time for the Internet system we have at home) the file was lost (not autosaved).  It was very disheartening to have to redo it again as I was perhaps one minute or so from it being finished.  
• It was very warm when I ran this morning at 5:55am.  It was already 82 degrees Fahrenheit (28 degrees Celsius) which is not the early morning norm yet in these parts.  Usually it has been around 60 degrees F (16 degrees C).  And, it was very, very humid and there was a ~20 mph (~32kph) headwind for over half of my run.   Nothing particularly wrong with the changes, it was just a rather different running experience than I have been used to lately.  My time was a few seconds slower per mile, but not overly significant.  
• I have been looking around at some interesting NEW recipes for using Swiss chard (a Swiss Chard and chickpea Spanish influenced dish) and for using tomatillos (a cucumber & tomatillo gazpacho).  I am hoping both grow well in the garden this year so I can try these new recipes in addition to more traditional ones I know.  
• The dishwasher plastic "doo-dads" have arrived!!!!!!   The box is sitting in the garage in "quarantine" until probably Friday, when I can dig in and fix the damn dishwasher!
• My desire, hunger, passion for smoking my pipes is STILL at the VERY STRONG levels it has been for probably the last 10 or so days.  I still am not sure why NOW it is feeling so intense.  I hope it ebbs back into a lower intensity desire soon.  This very strong yearning *is* quite difficult to ignore and I am not sure how much "resolve" or "gumption" I have left in me to refrain.  

PipeTobacco

Dishwasher Wheels

We had gotten a new dishwasher about 6 years ago.  Unfortunately it has been less than stellar.  It washes dishes well, but all sorts of little plastic "doo-dads" were apparently made very cheaply and most of these items that help to hold in position the racks as they slide in and out,  and the wheels that allow the lowest rack roll in and out have failed. 

Failure after this short of a period of time has been quite annoying.  The prior dishwasher in our home was roughly 30 years old.... and every "doo-dad" plastic item worked fully and beautifully all 30 years.  We replaced it mostly because it was noisy as hell and the electronics were starting to fail.... but after 30 years!

Well, I accepted that the new dishwasher had some horrifically cheap plastic parts two or three years ago.  And, so I went back to the appliance store to order new replacement parts for these "doo-dads".... but they said that you had to buy the entire damn rack, because the little plastic parts weren't sold separately.... and each rack with those doo-dads ran somewhere in the neighborhood of ~$250 each!   

I was livid when I first heard this back three years ago, and I vowed to NEVER buy those racks.  On-and-off over these last few years, I have been on the lookout for a junked dishwasher to see if I could get some parts off of it.  Never had any real luck. 

But.... just this past Saturday, I happened to stumble upon a picture on-line of the wheel structure I needed and I kept following the links and found myself ABLE TO ORDER virtually every little piece of plastic "doo-dad" for this infernal dishwasher PIECE-BY-PIECE!!!!!!!! 

I was both ecstatic AND annoyed as hell.  I was ecstatic and found I could order a whole set of every plastic piece I needed to repair and fix everything on the machine.... for a grand total of ~$22.00!!!!!  It should be arriving today or tomorrow and I will be able to get the whole thing fixed up in a few hours!!!!!  But I am also annoyed as hell that the appliance store either bald-faced lied to me about getting the individual parts, or their "corporate policy" prevented them from having these available to order/purchase from the store.  I also feel pretty damn dumb to not have thought of finding these parts in a "back-door" way before this too.    

I will be happy to get this machine running back up to snuff. 

PipeTobacco

This & That

If variety is the spice of life, then I am pretty damn spicy today!  Lots of different, little thoughts on my mind:

1. Contemplating what this Fall may be like for me and my wife.  We are being guided by the U without much in the way of detail to "plan" for a variety of different scenerios for teaching this Fall.  Meaning... it could be face-to-face, or it could be online, or it could be some chimera of the two.  They do not know, so we do not *really* know how to plan at the moment.  But, we are asked to plan. 
2. In regards to my wife, her underlying health concerns make her at much higher risk if she were to be exposed to Covid-19.  Yet, in the same vein we both are in a higher age risk category as well.  
3. We planted our garden yesterday.  The one new plant type we are trying this year is Swiss Chard.  I have been looking at recipes in the hope/anticipation that it will grow well so we have a lot of it.  There are some interesting uses for it I have been finding, including some interesting sounding Spanish style uses including chickpeas.  
4. We also are growing watermelon, zucchini, acorn squash.... and cabbage, tomatoes, and tomatillos (Mexican Husk Tomatoes).
5. Yet, my most looked forward to items are the herbs we are growing.... basil, rosemary, sage, oregano, thyme, and cilantro.
6. I am still having extraordinarily deep yearnings to smoke my pipes again.  It has been so consistent and strong for roughly the last week.  I sometimes feel very, very exhausted from the effort it takes to try to keep refraining at the moment.  I wish I understood why it is such strongly felt desire lately. I have to admit I have come close to throwing in the towel a couple of times in the last few days. 
7. I am hoping to try to arrange for purchasing a new pair of running shoes in the next week to 10 days.  My current pair has somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,700 miles on them, and I am beginning to feel their wear.  I need to bite the bullet and buy a fresh pair of the damn expensive things.  
8. I have been practicing a new piece to play on the saxophone.  It is the song, "Watermelon Man" by Herbie Hancock.  I have access to the backing track as well.  I am not stellar by any means yet, but it is fun and helps me to get better.  The link takes you to a great YouTube video of the song.... it takes about 15 seconds for the introduction, before you hear the "soli" trumpet and saxophone that is the part I am learning. 

Mass Thoughts and Songs

In the Mass we participated in on-line today, one of my favorite phrases in the readings was again stated...

"....slow to anger and rich in kindness and fidelity."

I cringe when I think about how so very often the above in no way, shape or form describes me.  I know and desire for me to be able to grow to be slow to anger and rich in kindness and fidelity for those around me, my family, my students, my extended family, my coworkers, my greater community.

I hate that I am such a poor person in living these important truths.  I do try.  Please know that I do.  But I must not try in the right ways or with enough intensity and drive, because I do not ever approach that ideal.

Here is a wonderful recording of the song we sung at the televised Mass:

Loving and Forgiving by Scott Soper (sung by Christopher Brunelle)

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Groceries

I ran my miles.

Now, I am venturing forth in full safety regalia for groceries for the week with my lovely wife.  Then, the washing and wiping of the items and soaking of produce in vinegar water for a spell before putting things away.  Then showers for the both of us. Dry red beans are amongst many different items we are hoping to procure today.

Covid-19 grocery shopping takes a lot of time. 

PipeTobacco

Petulant

Ok.  First.... I did my run... all 6.6 miles, and I ran as hard as I could. 

But, really, I am in the midst of a DEEP YEARNING to say "to hell with it" and pick up my pipes again.  It was mostly where my mind drifted to all afternoon and evening yesterday.  And it was an autonomic thought when my feet hit the floor about an hour and a half ago.  I was hoping a hard run would diminish my desire for a pipe. 

I truthfully do not understand this rather chaotic pattern.  Do not get me wrong, I know and knew I would always like and want to smoke a pipe.  I suspect that may not change ever.  The avocation was too ingrained in me for too many decades for me to realistically think it would disappear. 

But, I was anticipating that the desire would grow consistently less gnawing.  That is not what I have found in a universal sense. 

Yes, if I take the "averages" over the roughly 840 days of refraining, there has been a gradual decline in the number of thoughts I have about smoking a pipe each day.  But it is not a smooth line by any means.  Some days it is only a few mild thoughts about the pipe and pipe tobacco.  Other times it is a bit more occasional.  But, sometimes, like yesterday and apparently today, the thoughts to smoke my pipes, the desire to smoke my pipes, the frustration at NOT smoking my pipes feels every bit as intensive as on the day I first set the pipe down. 

I would like nothing more at the moment than to reach in front of me and to grab one of my larger bowled full bent briar pipes and to stuff it full of my favorite robust burley leaf and satisfy my longing.  

I did not think I would still have that intensive level of interest arise anymore after this length of time. If I cannot figure out a way to better wrangle in my thoughts today, it will be another garbled day of getting nothing done, or at least close to nothing.  I need to envision myself as an old cattle herder from an old Western film from the 50s as he lassos and errant calf back into submission out on the trail.  That is what I must do in order to salvage something of the day, I must lasso my mind into submission.

PipeTobacco 

Lack of Focus

I seem to be in a phase where I have limited focus at the moment.  I should be doing a whole helluva lot of "gizmoey" things for my classes, but my mind is just not focused.  I guess I am feeling a bit out of sorts about doing damn near nothing but work.  I hate even saying that, because I keep reminding myself that I am damn fortunate to still have full-time employment during this pandemic.  I *can* do my work safely from home.  I have it pretty lucky.  I *know* this.  Yet, today I do not feel it. 

Last week, when I fell during my run by hitting the edge of a raised part of sidewalk with my foot,  I knew it would be aggravating for a while.  I hit and scrapped up my knee in just the right location where it flexes the most and I have to wear a gauze pad and antibiotic ointment on it to get it to heal without scarring.  Because it is at the point of significant motion, I cannot tape it in place, and basically wrap an "ACE BANDAGE" around it to hold the pad and ointment in position.  That is not a perfect solution, because it slides and shifts position all day, but it is the best method I have at the moment.  Since I am home, I have take to wearing shorts so that I have stopped wearing the gauze and bandage during the day since Wednesday, but I still wear it at night because if I did not, I would wear off the scab while moving in my sleep and it would take even longer to heal and would cause bleeding on the sheets.  But, it is tiring and the bandage is a bit cumbersome so I cannot bend my leg into a comfortable position while sleeping. 

The other thing that happened when I fell was that as I was falling I landed first on the front of my foot and experienced hyperflexion of  the foot of the leg that I fell on.  This has caused the upper plantar region of my foot to be swollen and inflamed.  It was really painful last Friday and has admittedly been getting better.  But the normally VERY veiny top of my left foot now shows no veins at all due the swelling.  Fortunately, the swelling is going down, but it is damn slow.  This top plantar region of my foot only hurt when I walked around on Friday, and it has not felt painful while running on any days... but the inflammation is aggravating and aggravatingly slow to dissipate.

Again, I know these are minor, insignificant problems in the greater scheme of things.  But, I needed a place to gripe a bit.  My apologies if it is annoying.

PipeTobacco  

Stuff

Just generally working my gluteus maximus off at the moment trying to keep up to snuff with my three courses.  But a few "spouts" I want to state:

• I had to have a "Zoom" meeting that involved the member of my Department who is the giant annoyance (thorn in my side).  Not surprisingly, she was in her "rare form" and she was just as annoying, obnoxious, and hurtful and frustrating as usual.  But, I have to say that I am pleased that I kept my calm, I have to say that she disagreed with and questioned EVERY point I brought to the meeting (I had a task to present)..... but EVERY DAMN THING SHE said ended up not needing to be stated, and NOTHING I brought forth to the meeting had to be changed in any way, shape or form.   So, while she prolonged our meeting by triple what it NEEDED to be... in the end.... we left with the details and answers EXACTLY as I had brought forth!  The unnecessary length annoyed me, but being shown to be CORRECT (100% I might add) was so, so very pleasing... none of her nonsense was considered valid.
• I am contemplating a bit how having to learn how a computer program developer THINKS may be changing some of my own "organizational" thinking.  I am getting very DEEP into being able to use the online learning management tools now that it is getting to be at a point where I am beginning to think in the developer's organizational framework in a more "natural" way.... I feel I am getting close to being able to say that I am ALMOST "CPDSL" meaning I am gaining comfort with Computer Program Developer as a "second" language.  It will NEVER be my native tongue, my native thought process.... but I am almost getting to the conversant level. :)
• It never ceases to surprise me, but my desire to smoke a pipe is never particularly predictable to me.  Some days (a scant few), I hardly think about my pipes more than perhaps two or three times.  Other days, they are on my mind pretty regularly (at least a half dozen times a day), and some days or at least some parts of days, I still will have a deep, very profound yearning for a pipe.  Today has been one of the days where a pipe just seems to be profoundly beautiful and enticing.  It is not because I had the Zoom meeting with the nasty person, for I did not really feel stress before or after the meeting (and before and after, I did experience the yearning).  It does not seem to fit a pattern that I have yet recognized.  

 I guess that is enough "stuff" for this afternoon.

PipeTobacco 

Sad

The murder of Mr. Floyd was beyond horrific and the individual who killed him with his knee was so utterly emotionless during this horror that I believe he must have the true psychological condition of being a sociopath.  He must be put on trial and convicted and receive an appropriately long and harsh sentence for this crime. 

The marches and protests occurring throughout the nation are extremely valuable and important. 

However, I am very nervous and frightened about the large number of marchers and protestors who did not practice social distancing and did not wear any sort of mask.  I am quite fearful that we will again have a sharp upsurge in Covid-19 cases in the next two to three weeks.  The pandemic virus is still with us, very capable of infecting us.  It is my hope that marches and protests can and will continue, but the participants NEED to think logically and plan for their own safety and the safety of the families and communities as well.  Both marches/protests can be done in a more medically safe fashion.

It saddens me greatly that a very small number of folks have chosen to use this tragic, horrific murder to destroy cities with fires and and other forms of destruction and to loot businesses.  They are not helping Mr. Floyd's family, nor helping have justice occur.  They are destroying communities and are being selfish, and they are obscuring the important message and the important work of the marchers and protestors.

 PipeTobacco

Wow!!!!! Very Exciting!!!

Necco Wafers was the namesake candy formerly made by the now-defunct New England Confectionery Company, which operated near Boston, Massachusetts.  This particular fat-free candy has been a personal favorite of mine for a very long time, and was also a very helpful treat for me during my transition from a heftier fellow (~300lb (~136kg; BMI of ~39)) to a normal weight fellow (~170lb (~77kg; BMI of ~23.1)). 

Sadly, the original company went out of business in 2018.  But, very fortunately, the Spangler Candy Company bought the name and recipe rights to this wonderful treat and I just read the announcement that the candy is once again being produced and will be in stores very, very soon!!!!!!!!

I am truly very excited about the return of this wonderful candy for me!!!!

PipeTobacco