Early

 

I did not feel like running this morning, and therefore, to TRY to stay productive, I went to the U early.  I am hoping to get many things accomplished especially in regards to the new research projects for my researchers.  I am not highly motivated, but I am trying to force myself through the sloth-like attitude and do what I need to do in an efficient fashion.  

My emotions are rather difficult to manage right now, as I learned yesterday that a close friend from graduate school has now entered hospice.  She has had to go through a huge array of health issues in the last six years or so.  Yet, at the same time, it had seemed that her battle had been stable.  This news has me feeling a sense of loss, and also has me thinking back across to our roughly 40 year friendship.  I have been recalling a lot of dusty memories of graduate school.

I am in a 50-50 mode concerning the Retiree's Cigar Group today.  A part of me wants to go.  But, another part of me feels a) the long drive is not appealing, b) I am not sure if my general mood would be conducive to having it be a relaxing experience, and c) I feel that perhaps I should instead just plow forward with more work.

I DO have definitive plans, however, to at the end of the day (either after work, or after the Retiree's Cigar Group) to get in a run..... and possibly some weights work, and hopefully a swim.  I am trying to keep up my momentum as I return to running.  I am still below the mileage I want in a week, and my heel is still healing (it is pain free, but has a deeply red, irritated looking region roughly the size of a quarter,  so it is still a work in progress).... but I am back to daily running. I am trying to start a consistent pattern of weight training as well (my goal is three times a week for this).  

So.... back to work, I guess.  

PipeTobacco

Wednesday

Wednesday is always a busy day this semester.  It is my longest day in regards to lecturing.  More frost again this morning.  This is now the fifth day of frost.  I am even considering turning on the furnace at home today as it is hovering close to 60 F (~15 C) inside now and that is very cold feeling especially in the morning. It feels somewhat "wimpy" to do so, however.  

I pulled out one of my heavier, tweedier sport coats to wear today.  I do not think I had worn it since perhaps last March.  When I reached the U, I was trying to slide my phone into the jacket pocket when I realized there was one of my beautiful pipes in the pocket.  I likely had been carrying it around as a "pacifier" of sorts back in March to quell my yearnings.  Today, finding it unexpectedly in my pocket, actually intensified a bit my already (omnipresent) yearnings for a pipe.  But, at least I can fiddle with it a bit throughout the day.  

I ran (pain free) 5 miles yesterday, and another 5 miles today.  That is a dramatic improvement.  I am hoping to be back up to my normal soon.  I hope the last of the damn corn/wart thing will "pop out" soon and it will all be DONE.  

I do not know if this was an idea for a story that I read, or if it was one of a variety of "sci-fi" plot lines I have actually developed myself over the years.... but I was thinking about this story idea and how enjoyable it could be..... IF our life WAS predestined, it would be potential to have a known flow diagram of what each day of our lives would be.  In my thoughts on this story construct, I imagined how, if it were possible, I would organize the experiencing of these days of my life.  In my mind, I envisioned receiving some sort of "guide" from an "overseer" (perhaps God, or perhaps something else) that would list all the days of your life with a 1-10 ranking of how you would perceive and experience that day, with "1" being a horrific day and "10" being a wonderful day.  In my mind, other than my death day, which I would put at the end of the string of all my days, I would aggregate and order my days in order so that I could live through first all the "1s" and then all the "2s" so that as I experienced all my days, they would get progressively brighter and happier, at least until my death day. 

I was reminded of the above story outline this morning as I was imagining in my head the very pleasant idea of being able to relive some of the especially happy moments.  Today, I was envisioning in my mind the idea of being able to relive several, very happy, very contented, very casual days in the mid-1970s.  I was reflecting on how carefree, and calming, and damn fun days were, especially in my mind today, in roughly the 1975 & 1976 years.  In many ways, there always seemed to be exciting things happening, time seemed rather limitless, and pretty much most days were carefree and joyful.  

PipeTobacco  

Sounds and Symbols

 

Yesterday, we had the last public concert of our Fall Series.  We had many very enjoyable songs to play in this series.  One in particular that I will miss is one that was very much new to me.   Clare Grundman wrote this song in the 1950s based upon excerpts of several 1800s songs, but we specifically played Robert Longfield's band arrangement of  Grundman's song..... "Kentucky-1800".  The bass clarinet part was an especially fun and enjoyable one for me to play with a lot of sonorous and well-rounded sounds required that used the deepest part of my instrument's register.   

Next week we begin rehearsals for our Christmas Series.  Our first public performance will be about a week before Thanksgiving. I am hoping for some very fun parts to play.

I do appreciate all the thoughts and ideas about how I should just smoke my pipe at the Retiree's Cigar Group.....just because I would like to.  In many ways you may be correct, and perhaps your comments will help to nudge me in that direction.  Currently, though, I (perhaps stupidly) feel I am too much of a "newbie" to the group to "brazenly" do something outside of the group's routine.  I like feeling comfortable and like fitting in.  I know it may sound foolish.  But, at least at the moment, it seems like I would feel out-of-place in deviating from the group's routine.  I shall think about it more, however, but i am not sure the symbolism of deviating from the group's routine would be stressful.

PipeTobacco

Roly-Poly

The "Roly-Poly" I speak of is more properly called a "Sow Bug" or even MORE properly called Porcellio scaber.  This specific species is the smaller of two organisms commonly called a "Roly-Poly".  The common name is for obvious reasons relating to its behavioral posture under certain environmental pressures.  Porcellio scaber, the species I am most familiar with... is much smaller (perhaps 0.5 cm) than the larger species Armadillidium vulgare which looks rather similar but can grow over an inch in length (2.54 cm).  

Even though I did a helluva lot this weekend, truthfully... I wanted to be like the above roly-poly, and would have rather stayed curled up in bed the whole weekend long.

Two factors that occured on Friday were major factors in my wanting to sleep away the entirety of the weekend:

1.  The "two dots" I received.  Because my efforts last week with the salcyclic acid were very effective in removing much of the deep, heavy callous on my heel (due to running).... this time, the "two dots" I received from the "foot dude" (my new moniker for him) actually began to exert some definitive influence..... the small area covered by the two dots became quite swollen, VERY painful to stand on, and I could feel it doing "stuff" there even when I was not standing on my foot.  I believe this is what the "food dude" was thinking would have happened the last time, where the dot had minimal effect.  However, with my heel VERY, VERY painful to stand upon, I did not want to do anything other than lounge in bed. I limped around all weekend, even with my softest sneakers.

2.  As I had already planned, this past Friday I (and my wife also) received our new variant Covid vaccine and this year's Flu vaccine.  Surprisingly, I did not feel much this time after these injections on Friday, nor on Saturday morning.  However, by Saturday afternoon... I was almost "out for the count".  At Mass on Saturday, I had the focus and attention span of a gnat who had consumed 4 espressos.  

So, what did I do this weekend?  A whole helluva lot (at least for my "condition")... not in chronological order:

1.  Mass

2.  Visited my Mother-In-Law with my wife

3.  Worked as an "actor" of sorts at a simulation that was being held for a Community Action Group's "In-Service",  An "in-service" may not be the right word, as it is a word usually used by teachers about outside-of-classroom educational experiences teachers get to have.  But it is in the same sort of vein, but for folks in this Community Action Group.  It was a simulation for them to learn more about what it was like to live at/near poverty.

4.  Went shopping to a dollar store in the town where the simulation was held to try to find budget vanilla and hazelnut coffee syrups (no luck, but we had found it there LAST YEAR at this time).

5.  Went swimming once.... thinking it might make me feel better.... as I was having a fever, and would feel alternatively hot and cold much of yesterday afternoon.  The water DID help, and it seemed to help me feel more homeostatic in terms of temperature.

The above is really not a whole helluva lot, I know.  But, it WAS quite a bit for how rough I was feeling. 

* * * * *

An in-person friend who reads here but never comments..... sadly, I do not get many comments at all.... asked me:

"You haven't written about your pipes in quite a while.  What's up with that?" he stated.

I wasn't really sure how to respond.  So I was kind of evasive, or perhaps "dismissive" is the better word.  So, I will try to reason it out here:

• Part of me isn't really sure what to write about them anymore.  I still miss them.  I still think about time every day.  I still have dreams about smoking my pipes, or have dreams of memories when I was smoking my pipes.  Folks likey get tired of hearing this. 
• Part of me thought that by not writing about my pipes and pipe tobaccos that it would perhaps decrease my interest, decrease my desire for them.  That has NOT happened.
• As you know, the damn foot has thrown me for a loop in many ways.  One HUGE way is that it has caused me to FAIL at reaching my 50 mile (~80 km) running goal each of the last 2 weeks.  I had never failed in my 50 mile goal each week since I established the damn goal very nearly 5 years ago.  This failure is difficult.  It makes me doubt a lot of my abilities to set and accomplish goals.
• I have mostly been going to the Retiree's Cigar Group.  I missed two Thursdays due to being extraordinarily busy with work and with my damn foot.  The camaraderie is very, very pleasant.  I am feeling more and more a part of the group.  Being in the group IS a very good thing.  I have had a cigar each time I do go.  The cigars are "nice" overall.  But the cigars are for the most part, forgettable, albeit expensive. 
• I am still thinking I may indulge in a single pipe at the Retiree's Cigar Group when it is the closest Thursday to my dad's 101st birthday in November.  I think it would be "ok" to do so.  But, at the same time.... I have NEVER seen a single patron of that shop EVER be a pipe smoker, nor have I EVER seen anyone (other than me) glance at their rather minor pipe tobacco and pipe collection.  But, this place really is NOT a pipe place.  So, even though I may still force myself near my Dad's birthday, I am tending to doubt I would ever regularly enjoy a pipe there.  I would feel rather too conspicuous.  I would feel "outside".  I would feel "pushy".  Cigars are this place's (and these guy's) "thing".    I think, though, the friendship will keep me going there.  
  

Guess the above is all I can write for today.

PipeTobacco 

 

TWO New Dots

 

I have been feeling rather grumpy, tired, forlorn, and just basically forcing myself through the day lately.  It is a challenge.  I do not want it to be like this, and I know if I persevere, it will improve eventually.  But, I feel very tired.  I feel uninspired.  I feel like a sloth.  

So, some news I had missed reporting:

• Yesterday, the vast majority of the corn/wart thing on my heel popped out as I removed the latest bandaid after having treated it with salicylic acid.   The pain was GONE!  Well, other than the muscle pain in my foot from not having walked heel-to-toe for a while.... soreness from forcing myself to do so.

Back to today:

• So, today, I went to the foot doctor.  It was an 8:00am appointment.  I could not cancel yesterday after the corn/wart popped out without incurring a penalty since it was not a full 24 hours.  I also figured it would potentially be good for him to see it.  However, I was not enthused about telling him that I had used the salicylic acid and had not just let his little "dot" do something for the whole of the two weeks. 
• So I told him.  He was nonplussed. He said he could see I had done so.  In his examination of the "crater" where the corn/wart was, he started to trim and I could feel his scalpel blade hit rougher, more dense edges during his trimming work, which to me suggested there was still some bits of remnant corn/wart material still. 
• He then told me exactly that.... that it appeared that there was still a little bit left that still needed to come out.  
• He then proceeded to apply TWO dots of his material to the spot (deep in the crater zone).  He also suggested that I could continue to use the salicylic acid, but that I should probably do so only every other day.  
• Now that the majority of the damn thing is out, and now that the very heavy callous on my heel (from the pounding of running) has been worked through (BY THE SALICYCLIC ACID) to get out the majority of the damn thing.... now.... 6 hours after the application of the TWO dots of his material, I can actually feel it working and doing something (hopefully helpful) within the crater.  
• The area he applied the TWO dots to now is painful again.... but in a way that I suspect is a POSITIVE sort of pain because it feels like the remnant, undesired corn/wart tissues may be dissolving.  
• As I am supposed to wash my foot 8 hours after application of these TWO dots (I had to do this in the same way after the ONE dot from the previous appointment), I suspect I may see some positive results when I clean there.  

So, overall I am hopeful this may have been a useful visit.  I am hopeful that it may be completely gone soon.  And, with the extensive additional stretching I am now doing, I think that is helping as well.  

PipeTobacco  

MORE Stretching

I cannot recall if I mentioned this before, but because of the "doctor's" one little drop of an acid doing little to no good after the first day to my heel, I have now taken to putting my own salicylic acid to the damnable area to attempt to accelerate the process (or truthfully.... lack of any appreciable progress after day 1).  The area is now softend (on my very heavily calloused heel, and I can see the circle encompassing the entirety of the damnable corn/wart/whatever that has to come out.  The skin around the central core is now whitish in color and soft.  If things continue as anticipated, sometime in the future (hopefully before having to go see the "doctor" again on Friday), the damable thing will pop out like it did for the previous one I had way back when I was a young, early-stage, wet-behind-the ears graduate student so many decades ago.

Because spot and neighboring tissue is softened somewhat by the salicylic acid, I have LESS (by no means NOT zero) pain while walking.  So, I can tolerate normal shoes for short periods of time (started today).  I also decided I could not wait any longer, so I FORCED myself to run this morning.  It felt emotionally good to run even though my damn heel was painful due to the damn spot.  But, I hoofed out 5 miles (~8km), which while not my usual.... was better than the damnable ZERO I had been doing because of the pain.  

The biggest thing I focused on and focus on most of the day, is to walk (or run) very "heel-to-toe" which is my NORMAL GAIT.  For the last couple of weeks as the pain grew more intense with the spot, I had began babying my heel and walking more on the "balls" of my feet (the front part by the toe box).  This change in gait also caused havoc to my lower leg muscles as a result and that further added to my discomfort.  So, all weekend long, I had been engaging in triple, sometimes quadruple the amount of stretching I normally do with my legs, each day.  It has been helpful, and I think it is also a part of the REDUCTION (not elimination) of pain.  

I feel like being grumpy toward the "doctor" on Friday.  He should have froze the damn thing off and it would already be done.  I do not know what my mindset will be on Friday, so I am not sure how it will go.  He likely may be annoyed that I have been putting the salicylic acid on the spot.  If I did not, he could likely continue his foolish "one drop of acid" approach every two weeks through 2027 and I could help him make the last payments on his damn boat mortgage.  If he gives me hell about it, however, it may break the dam in terms of my response(s) back to him.  

PipeTobacco 

A Bit

Even though I DO sort of WANT to BITE someone/something out of frustration, that is not the reason for the title.  I am feeling a little bit less pain and discomfort.

I did NOT run this morning out of fear to make the condition worse.  With my usual khakis, sport-coat, tie, and flat brim hat, I am sporting big, BRIGHT WHITE sneakers that are cushiony and soft for my feet.  I look foolish, but it is allowing me ambulate with less pain.

I am still sad and frustrated at this situation.

PipeTobacco