Do Not

I am trying to scribble these thoughts down before I head to class:

Do not get me wrong.... I greatly, greatly appreciate, enjoy, and relish going to the Retiree's Cigar Group. It is the one especially peaceful, quieting (mentally), yet raucous (filled with joking and laughter) thing I get to do each week.  I look forward to it every week.  I look forward to going tomorrow!  

But.... it is NOT a pipe.

But.... also do not get me wrong..... I enjoy indulging in a cigar at the Retiree's Cigar Group. It is fun.  The cigar does add to the peaceful, quieting, yet invigorating feelings of the event.

But... it is NOT a pipe.

I do not "crave" a cigar. I have never actually “craved” having a cigar.

I DO crave my pipes and pipe tobaccos.  Every day.  Every day,  I still have a longing to have one.  Every day.

It does undulate some.  That was the whole purpose of my PCS my "pipe craving score" that I had done relatively faithfully for a spell.  With the "zero" to "ten" scale, I can say I do not believe I have ever reported or felt a ZERO.  Never.  

This week the PCS has screeched upward with a tremendously sharp incline. Whether it is the Fall temperatures reminding me of the beauty of the many pipe tobaccos in my various stashes, or perhaps a neural circuit was fired as a suggestion of how to cope from this weekend's hardships, or perhaps the melancholy of my thoughts of my dog have re-ushered into my memories how for so many YEARS it had been my norm to sit out there on the back porch with her, my pipe in hand as I observed the day.   

Regardless.... the desire, the yearning, the "craving" now is damn near a PCS of 10.  I would say it is at 9.5.  

A pipe is a pipe and is not a cigar.

I do not UNDERSTAND the difference.  BUT, it is real, it is true.  I have KNOWLEDGE of the difference.  But, no understanding.

PipeTobacco

 

Melancholy

 

I am feeling rather melancholy today.  I woke up that way. It has made me feel rather "fragile" emotionally.

It was only 30 degrees F ( -1 degree C) outside, and I did not want to bundle up, so I decided to go to the indoor track to do hamster loops this morning.  I had quite a bit of worry at the track, for I was imagining tripping and falling while running.  I did persevere and did the full 10 miles (~16 km) like usual, but I was especially diligently focusing on making sure I ran with very consciously picking up my feet fully and NOT letting my toes "dip" in any way.  Most of the times I have tripped previously have been when I caught the toe of my shoe on a rock or obstruction or something similar.

While running, I did pray the rosary and listened to Mass Music.  One of my favorite Mass Hymns came up in two different versions on my Pandora today.  The song is Marty Haugen's "Shepherd Me O God"

Shepherd Me O God (Haugen)

This song always has me re-realize how I so much need to move beyond my own selfishness and be so much more the servant I am meant to be.  

Another thing that has me feeling quite a bit of melancholy this morning, was while taking my dog out to allow her to eat breakfast and also complete her morning constitutional (go to the bathroom).  

Our dog is used to eating her main dog food meals OUTSIDE and has done so her whole life, as long, long ago I had read of this being part of a technique to more successfully potty train a puppy.   The basic idea was to give the puppy its food outside nearby (NOT IN)  the place where the puppy would also be desired to "go potty".  So, for her whole life, she has eaten her food with me sitting beside her on the back porch at her breakfast and at her dinner, and then she could go meander off (on her string) into the backyard to accomplish her bathroom needs.  She has a string (cable) attached to her collar because (especially in the early morning and the evening (which are her feeding times), we often have many wild creatures meander through our yard..... many opossum, deer, skunks, woodchucks, and even a fox on a few occasions.  She (like most dogs, or at least most dogs I have had in my lifetime), will spy the "intruder" and chase after it like a bat-out-of hell barking cacophonously.  But, the string (cable) prevents her from reaching the "intruder" who is inevitably near the fence of our yard.  Our dog is a bit odd though.... most dogs want to be aggressive and chase the intruder away.  Our dog instead...... goes absolutely frenetic because she is EXCITED and presuming the creature to be a new friend.  As she runs out on her string to the "invader" her tail is wagging so furiously that it seems she would wiggle out of her skin, she is so happy and excited... and barking.   

So, why have I been melancholy?  It is because I was thinking again about how my beloved dog is now 13 years old.  I had actually thought she might be older, but I found her initial papers from her first visit to our Veterinarian.  But, 13 is quite old for most dogs, including my beloved Wheaton terrier.   I recognize my time with her is limited, and when I think of how soon that "limited" may become "none", it makes me incredibly sad.  Even just writing about it now is bringing tears to my eyes.  I mean, she is still a vibrant, 34 pounds of fluff, energy, and enthusiasm, but I unfortunately know the reality of her age.  I have had nightmares of finding her in the morning....  having passed while sleeping on our bed with us. I have had nightmares where she suddenly begins to howl in pain and agony, and in the nightmare as I am rushing her as fast as I can in my truck to the vet... I am sobbing in agony as I just "know" there will be nothing that can be done and the vet will recommend she be "put down".  

PipeTobacco

Amazon Cloud; Pins & Needles

 

Part A:

Professors across the U are in chaos! 

The global "Amazon Cloud" debacle has wreaked havoc for many today at the U.  Our school's designated LMS (Learning Management System..... aka the "gizmo, electronic classroom") is inextricably tied by some linkages to the Amazon Cloud even though it is NOT an Amazon product.  Many professors across the U have ALL of their classroom paraphernalia electronically embedded into this LMS and cannot access a damn thing.  

And, a sizable chunk of the profs have their paraphernalia ONLY within the LMS.  They are "sh*t-outta-luck" and have cancelled many classes.  I too have my paraphernalia on my LMS.... but being the old-school curmudgeonly pack-rat that I am....  I was able to scramble around this morning and found a couple of tucked away flash drives that had copies of my PowerPoints on them.  So, I was good-to-go in my typical fashion.

In one lecture, I talked about the growth and development of the dentition pattern of we humans, and then I compared and contrasted our omnivorous dentition pattern with that of classic herbivore dentition patterns and carnivore dentition patterns eventually leading to a discussion of the development of the structure of teeth broadly, but then with a fun added focus of describing the rather unique rodent dentition pattern where they have perpetually growing incisor teeth through their lives due to specializations of their ameloblast cells.  

Part B:

Today feels so much more peaceful and "normal" (whatever the hell that may be) than the last several days.  October is a challenging month because there are a MULTITUDE of own nuclear family, other close family, and friends who have birthdays in this month.  From a technical standpoint of human gestation, this suggests strongly a logical and sizable upsurge in practitioners of complete reproductive physiology between New Year's Day and Valentine's Day.

My wife relishes hosting these birthday celebrations.  So, we did.

The celebrations include the intermingling of ALL SORTS OF FOLKS, who I normally get along with fine.... INDIVIDUALLY.  But, in the cadre of folks, there are points of long-standing rancor and contention so the worry of the potential of one or more of these folks stepping back into a rancorous encounter is always an undercurrent of MY emotions.  And, also, being family, the person I no longer write about here was also present in an extended fashion.  That ratched up my stress levels as well.  This person was provided guidance by me and my wife of requested decorum.  This person ended up following said guidance at roughly the ~70% level.  70% was NOT where I wanted it to be.  But, it was better than I feared it would be.  Still, living through the long array of "festivities" across Saturday was NOT in any way "relaxing" for me, as every moment was spent feeling uncomfortable and also fearing of the seemingly endless number of potential tornados that could erupt amongst the participants.  

It was not until late in the midafternoon on Sunday that the person I no longer write about left.  By that time, I was so exhausted from the mixture of stresses from the festivities day plus anger, resentment, frustration,, and worry that I had bubble up like a prematurely opened pressure cooker in me most of the time from Friday through the departure Sunday midafternoon.... I was not particularly functional Sunday evening.  

I would have liked a nice, stiff drink.  But, that is not really a good option the evening before a school day, and as my wife is pretty much a tee-totaler, drinking alone is dull.  

PipeTobacco

Playing "Hookey"

My wife and I went to see an afternoon movie yesterday.  In some mild fashion, I was "playing hookey" to a degree.  My normal work pattern on Tuesday afternoons is to do a whole helluva lot of computer work for my classes, and to also try to fit in some time with my creatures as well.  But, as I was reasonably caught up on most things and I could shift my needed work to later in the day.... that is what I did.  

Our region has lately become a veritable desert regarding interesting films.  Damn near all the films that are playing at the nearby cineplexes are mostly horror films, comic book films, or anime.  It is rather discouraging.  So, when an actual film that was about people, and was also devoid of CGI nonsense..... it captured our interest.  The film was NOT an Oscar contender with deep philosophical insights.... but beggars cannot be choosers.... and it met the criteria of NOT being a horror film, NOT being a comic book film, NOT being a chaotic CGI-riddled fantasy film, and it WAS about semi-realistic people.  We went to see a film called "Roofman" which was what could be called a "docu-drama".  It was about a true life story (fictionalized with actors) of a fellow who at a psychological level had some form of an impulse control disorder.... but it was never specified as such.... only that he did some actions out of desperation that typically folks would not do.  But, conversely he was also very smart, and hyper aware of his environment, and could easily problem-solve various situations quite readily.  

Basically the story was about how he lost his wife and family due to his impulse control challenges (he could not keep a traditional job, yet he would constantly want to be overspending) and his way to "fix" the situation was to begin to "kindly" and "carefully" without hurting people..... rob fast food restaurants by stealthily cutting holes in their roof, and hiding out inside until an early crew arrived in the morning on the day the profits of the restaurant were to be taken out of the mechanized safe to be shipped to the bank.  He eventually was caught (not from his method, but from his act of kindness to one of the early crew members on one robbery).  He was sentenced to a very long prison term, but with his powers of observation, devised a way to escape, and started a similar situation as with the fast food resturaunts.... but this time he lived in a "Toys-R-Us" for what turned out to be several months, to avoid detection before he could devise a way to escape to an unidentified country that would not extradite him back to the U.S.  

The above is as much of a synopsis as I can briefly give, and I do not give away the ending of the story either, in case you decide to see this film.  

The film was quite interesting from a psychological perspective, and was also interesting as an emotional drama.  I am glad my wife and I were able to do this.  We had not caught an afternoon movie like this in a few years now.  It always feels rather fun to be able to "steal away" with each other for an unexpected,  kind of "bonus date" with her.  

After the film, I went back to the U and worked on the things I would have otherwise done in the early afternoon.... before heading home for the evening.  

* * * * *

I have ran my 10 miles each day OUTSIDE this week so far, and it has been nice.  Temperatures in the early morning were a relatively "balmy" 45-48 degrees F (~7-9 degrees C) each morning so I could run in shorts and a sweatshirt and gloves with relative comfort.  Outside, weather permitting, is always more enjoyable than hamster loops.  

* * * * * 

Even though I am not overly fond of my "gizmo" phone.... I have unfortunately/fortunately (a somewhat double-edged sword) found it fun and enjoyable to have bookmarked in my phone's web browser a few different well stocked pipe stores where they have absolutely beautiful images of the various pipes they are selling.  When I have a few moments waiting in line, or having to wait for someone, I find myself scrolling through the beautiful images.  I have resisted becoming overly enamored with my damn phone, but now I sadly/happily (double edged sword again) reach for it often just to look at the beautiful images.  I am mildly frustrated at myself for falling into this rabbit hole of sorts... and I may have to eventually take some sort of action to try to curtail it.  But, right now I am enjoying the scrolling through pipe images.

* * * * *

 This evening is TACO WEDNESDAY!!!!  I am already eagerly awaiting making the beyond large sized taco salad that is bigger than my head, my two overstuffed burritos, and my two piled high tostadas!  A veritable feast!

PipeTobacco

Comments on Comments 10/13

 

Comments to recent comments received:

AC

You seemed to do very well with the preps and all. I can't wrap worth a ding dang darn. Gift bags were a wonderful thing when they came along.

Even though I do not care a fig about wrapping and things for myself, and really, neither does my wife.... I feel a NEED to make her gifts as beautiful as I can. I started this as a poor graduate student where I tried to wrap all the gifts I gave to friends and family as beautifully as I could to try to compensate for the humbleness of the gift.

Uni food must be very different than it was in my ancient days.

These days, U food is quite delicious and diverse!  Students are more persnickety than in our day.  The typical U cafeteria has to cater to a whole range of whims and dietary trends.  It actually is IMO more fun than going to most restaurants as there is more diversity.  

I understand about old objects. My friend has a version of the camera that my mother had back then. It was the first that I used. I have hinted that I would like it, but he has not taken the bait.

I agree completely.  I have one of my father's cameras from the early 1950s and treasure it. I also have a fun, albeit clunky USSR era SLR that I think is fun to display too. 

If you are going to dream about ill health, you might as well go whole hog.

The dream was terrifying in all regards, and yet each of the illnesses was something I had worried about at one time or another recently.  The dream mish-mashed them all together.

Impressive. You completed all of those tasks and then found time to complete one more — to write about it. You must be able to churn out the words efficiently.

When I put my mind to it, I can "speed write" as I am good at typing (these days, it is supposed to be called "keyboarding" I suppose....but I still say "typing').  When I speed type, however, I cannot always vouch for my grammar or spelling.  So, that is a worry. 

Linda's Relaxing Lair

That old clock is gorgeous.

It is.  I remember watching in anticipation many, many different times as a little kid of 3 or 4 when it would draw close to an "o'clock" time where the bird would pop out.  I would get so very excited.  I am trying to find a duplicate.

I dream almost every night. I will be 69 on October 27th. I remember my dreams when I awaken, some are good some not so good.

I believe I DO dream every night.  But, I only sporadically recall my dreams.  

I wish you good health and happiness.

Thank you so much!!!!  

Margaret

I'm very impressed with the efforts you make to give your wife a festive birthday. I too love cards but I haven't impressed that enough on my family (or John). I can easily forgo gifts and balloons but I love cards or notes and enjoy CAKE.

CAKE is my go to for certain!  I mostly would love as my gifts… the unattainable gift of extra time with my wife.  Life is too damn busy these days, and I do not know how to get off the whirlwind ride without getting hurt by the departure.

Escaping the U.S. Is tempting! I don't know about Poland though. I have friends who live in the U.K., Spain and France and could see myself in any of those places. But I would never leave my family and friends, so that's a problem. :) I too love tapas style meals; I enjoy trying a wide variety of dishes so small servings are the way to go.

I daydream about all sorts of different places to live.  I do love where I live now.... other than I am so much less fond of winter than I used to be.  I presume it is due to age and perhaps also a remnant of becoming a normal BMI.  I feel cold much of the time even in the Summer, I sometimes feel cold.

I would love your Taco Wednesdays! Taco salad is a favorite of mine. Are cigar smokers anti-pipe? It doesn't seem like they would be, especially given the circumstances.

Taco days are always a joy because I make them so healthy.... and LARGE that it feels wonderfully filling and has damn near no fat at all the way I make things.... so no "guilt" either for me in terms of being rather "gluttonous" on those days.  No, the cigar fellows are not anti-pipe, and several of them have occasionally smoked a pipe over the years, they have told me .  But never so fat at the RCG.  But, I also have an innate need to "fit in" so, doing something "out of the ordinary" ESPECIALLY in a group setting..... is not typically enjoyable to me.  And, since the major goal of being at the Retiree's Cigar Group is to RELAX and to have fun with my new friends there.... I do that most readily by following the group dynamic.... a cigar.

It's hard to shake off emotions from our vivid or disturbing dreams, even if we don't remember them that well. I hope you enjoy the Cigar Group and get a chance to swim. Also, get some REST! You push yourself very hard, my friend.

I do feel ALL WEEK LONG that I need more rest.  Yet, on the weekend when I can "splurge" and awaken whenever I feel like it, I typically only sleep until 6:30am, and then I want to get up.  I do not think I push MYSELF, but more that I am BEING pushed into getting all this done.  It is hard to explain.... I will have to think more about that.

Tasks versus experiences describes the grind too well. It does seem like every day/week has a list of stressful things to get done. It doesn't feel joyful or rewarding.

Exactly!  A task.... feels like being PUT UPON.  An experience does not.  I have been thinking a bit since writing that last week if PERHAPS there might be away I could "trick" my mind into viewing these tasks as actual "experiences".  It may likely only be a pipe dream, but I have been trying to think through if I could somehow do that.

Pat

One of the tasks you mention is:

Wrote a draft of a presentation for a talk that is going to be ultimately given by a young undergraduate of mine next week.

Could you elaborate a bit on this? Are students no longer expected to do and to present their own work? I can't imagine any of my professors giving me drafts for any talks I was expected to present. 

I guess, in some ways I misspoke.... or perhaps truncated what I meant is more accurate.  

With the UNDERGRADUATE students I do research with (a completely different story with graduate students), when one of these students reaches the level of data collecting success where they can be a presenter of a research talk at one of the smaller meetings...... I always give them a sample copy of a prior talk given on some relatively close research from our past as a "template" and tell them to build me one of their work.

But, what I typically get back from a FIRST TIME undergraduate trying to put together a talk is (not trying to be mean) rather atrocious.  When they get their effort to me, I end up ultimately doing TWO things..... a) doing a critique of their talk pointing out many areas for improvement, and b) more 
"behind the scenes" I typically correct and write out a decent version of their talk.  This is what I did last Friday.  Sometimes it is very time consuming.... having to fix Excel files (which I hate anyway) to conform to more uniformity in graphs), having to rewrite titles and figure headings to conform to standard practice rather than vernacular, and adding and subtracting details that are redundant or spurious (depending on the situation).  When they eventually get me their "corrected" version from my critique, it is often 60-70% better than the original, and so I take the decent version I wrote, and when needed, insert my versions of a paragraph or slide or etc next to theirs.... when needed into their newer draft they submitted to me.  Then as they practice their presentation, ultimately it is their choice which version to use and which is "better" and when they practice in front of me, I ask them to explain the "whys" of whatever choice they made.  

The above is rather long and drawn out..... but is a better representation of what I do overall.  But, my clean rewrite that I provide to them to contrast things I still think they have that are weak is a way for them to compare and contrast and grow.   I ONLY do this though, for the first time, brand-new undergraduate presenter. It tends to be the best way I have found for the undergraduate to grow wise enough to SEE how a research talk should be. If they stick around to present additional, future research with me, they are then a helluva lot better from what they learned in this first experience and do not need the same level of hand holding.  

PipeTobacco

Tasks vs Experiences

I have been busy from my feet hitting the ground at 5:00am until this moment (4:15pm).  I decided to force myself to take a couple of minutes to post here as a way to "unwind" before I go back to work. I have:

1.  Ran my 10 to complete the week.

2.  Wrote two letters of recommendation.

3.  Graded an exam.

4.  Prepared printouts of scores of TWO exams so that I can spend some time inputting them into our LMS (the electronic classroom that is the student's gradebook and repository).

5.  Cultured my nematodes.

6.  Surveyed my fruit flies to know which strains I will need to reculture next week.

7.  Wrote a draft of a presentation for a talk that is going to be ultimately given by a young undergraduate of mine next week.  The student will be needing to fine tune it to her liking this weekend and get it back to me for final approval.

8.  Wrote out (on the computer) the game plans for four new research projects, created text groups for the students to use for "easier" communication, and e-mailed all of them these documents and also additional instructions.

* * * * * *

9.  After I get done here, I am going to go and unpack some replacement incubators the Department had ordered for me for one of my classes.  The other ones had gone belly up after 20+ years of use.

10.  Also, after I get done here, I have to go investigate and assess my rodents to see if I need to come back on Saturday to work with them, or if they would wait until Monday. I suspect I will need to come back tomorrow as much as I would rather not.  

* * * * * * 

All of the above have been a crap-load of TASKS I have been doing.  

Not much if anything has been an EXPERIENCE.

To me, this is one of the problems of late.... too much of life seems to have become just getting TASKS done, and hardly any.... IF ANY actual EXPERIENCES.  This seems so wrong and so ass-backwards to the way I think life should be lived.  

The only actual experience I had yesterday until I sad down to eat a late, late dinner with my wife was the Retiree's Cigar Group.  It is an experience.  Perhaps that is what has me gravitate towards it so.  Yesterday's time there was only in the ballpark of average.  It was quite crowded, so I mostly sat and listened as is my typical in bigger groups.  Part of the "averageness" I think also stemmed from the needed/known TASKS I had to do last night after I got home from the group.

I am more and more convinced that life in 2025 is just TOO DAMN BUSY.  Life did not used to be this harried and hectic.  I want to become a hermit sometimes, just to have some TIME to BE and not just DO.  

I also am missing my pipes a lot today. More than I write about it here lately.  It seems like I write the same things about them every time I write.  So, I have been trying to not clutter up as much space on them.... but they do occupy my mind.

PipeTobacco

Edge

 

I woke this morning feeling very edgy and out of sorts.  I had been having some sort of dream, which I do not recall many details about, but the bits and pieces I do recall were of me having/experiencing several health issues.  Amongst them included Parkinson's, prostate issues, mobility issues in my leg, and I was having great difficulty trying to eat because I was losing teeth out of my jawline.  These are all things I can recall as split second images, and I have idea the context of the dream.  But, when I awoke, I was exhausted, and it has been hard to shake off those emotions.

Even though it was the LAST thing I wanted to do this morning, I forced myself to run.  We had frost overnight, and I did not want to feel so very cold at 5:00am, so I went to the hamster track and ran there instead.  I forgot to bring my "gizmo" watch because it needed charging and I had coupled it to the charger last night.... and forgot to put it on before I went to the hamster track.  It gives me a vibratory signal to help me recognize my pacing, and I can also look at it to tell how far I have ran, even though I also bring a clicker to record loops.  

Without the vibratory pacing information, I was unsure if I was running the speed I needed to get it done with enough time to clean up and head to the U, so I pushed and pushed and pushed to make sure I would get done within the time I had (again,, I had no watch, but there was a clock on the first floor (hamster track is on the second floor), so I know when I started.  I guess I pushed myself pretty hard, for I finished the 10 miles roughly 5 minutes faster than is my typical pace.  But, I can feel the extra tiredness now, later in the morning, from that effort.  

I am hoping going to the Retiree's Cigar Group will help me turn my mood around.  What I want to do is to go home and crawl into bed and sleep away the day.  But, that never does any good.... it just makes me feel more behind.  

After the Retiree's Cigar Group, I am going to quickly swim, and then head home and bury myself in my den.... and work on the huge amount of work I need to do on the computer..... probably straight through until ~9:00pm when my wife will likely be returning home from her busy day.  

PipeTobacco

This and That

 Just random thoughts permeating through my mind:

• I completed my 10 miles as usual, and seem to be in a bit of an upswing in terms of enjoying the activity again.  I had been a drudge for a while, which had been difficult.
• The gastrocnemius of my left leg is still feeling overly tight though, and I have to figure out what sorts of additional stretches I need to do to try to alleviate that.
• While looking at some of my favorite pipe sites online, I saw one photograph that had a cuckoo clock in the background that was identical to the one my parents had since the early 1950s.  I loved that clock and remember it so very fondly.  Unfortunately, it fell and shattered at my parent's home long ago when one of our cats at the time found it too enticing and wanted to play with the pinecone weights.  Seeing the image has renewed my interest in trying to find one of the same design again so I can have it in our home.  
• The aroma of cherry-vanilla pipe tobacco is my "cologne" of sorts for today, as I happened to stumble upon a pouch of said pipe tobacco in my desk and opened it..... and in doing so was flooded with so many beautiful memories of this leaf.  I have stuck the open pouch in the side pocket of the tweed vest I am wearing today so I can bask in its pleasantness all day.  
• Even though it is October and is getting colder, I DID wear a tweed vest today instead of a sport coat, as I am feeling a bit "resistant" to giving up on the pleasant weather yet.  It is more symbolic than anything though as I tend to alternate between vests and sport coats all through the Spring, Summer and Fall.... and switch to exclusively sport coats just during the winter.  
• Today is going to be Taco Wednesday!  A bigger than my head, taco salad will be in the making, as well as two engorged burritos and two piled-high tostadas.  It will be a delightful feast!
• While running, interspersed between decades of the rosary, I kept thinking about and anticipating (hopefully) going to the Retiree's Cigar Group tomorrow.  I also was contemplating how perhaps in Novemeber, around my Dad's 102nd birthday, I might just bring along a pipe and have it in honor of his birthday.  Still thinking about it though, so I am not sure.

PipeTobacco 

Hungry

Every once in a while, my wife and I decide in our meal planning that we will go to one of the U's cafeteria to have dinner.  When we planned for this while creating a menu for this week, we decided to do this today (Tuesday).  Both of us find this enjoyable, and in some ways MORE enjoyable than simply going to a restaurant, because the cafeteria is of a "self service" style where you can for a set price, select anything that is available (a sort of "buffet" style arrangement).  And, the U has a rather fun and diverse array of food from traditional American to "ethnic" foods from various cuisines.  You may take as much or as little as you would like.  And, additionally wonderful  for me, they also have a salad bar.  So, it is usually quite fun for us to go.  

I tend (as you have heard me say before) to create a salad far bigger than my head as my starter.  But at the cafeteria, I then often go and select an almost "tapas" style plate.  "Tapas" for those who may not be familiar with the term, references a Spanish style of providing small samples of various food items.  And, so I consider my dinner plate to be "Tapas-esque" in that while what I select may or may not be of a Spanish-influenced cuisine.... I like to take tiny samples of many different items.... it feels very fun..... much more so than a standard sized portion of any specific entree.  So, I am looking forward to when my wife and I can get together later in the distal regions of the afternoon.  

* * * * *

I ran an especially robust 10 miles today (~16.1 km).... INDOORS on the hamster track near my home.  I did this even though it was a beautiful 60 degrees (F) (~15.5 C) this morning, because we were in the midst of a massive downpour, and I did not really want to be utterly soggy (even though I do often ENJOY running in downpours when it is VERY WARM in the middle of the Summer).  With my recent fall (tripping, from a few weeks ago, I think I wrote about it), I still often get a bit nervous with worry when I have to change to a new place to run..... and the indoor track is a bit different surface wise than outside.  So, I strived to be extra careful.  In the same vein, however, I also have to combat AGAINST my fear of falling/tripping because if I did not, I would have to give up running, which I do not want to do.  It is just hard, though, sometimes I can imagine all sorts of worst-case scenarios (falling, hitting my head, breaking a bone, and perhaps doing this somewhere where folks may not notice me for quite a while because some trails are in deeply rural locations).  But, in the same breath, I cannot live in a "bubble" either.  

* * * * *

I did have a beautiful dream (THAT I REMEMBERED TOO!!!!) last night.  In this dream, I was (for some unspecified reason) living in retirement with my wife in Poland (My wife is partially of Polish heritage, perhaps that was the "why"?).  In the dream, I was struggling quite a bit because I do not know Polish (nor does my wife).... but we were navigating around and successfully setting up our apartment, etc.  We went to an antique sort of shop (or perhaps it was just a store of used items) and found a lamp we liked, and the fellow who was the shopkeep was smoking a pipe, and HE KNEW enough English we could somewhat successfully communicate.  I showed him my pipe and pipe tobacco pouch (in the pocket of my jacket, and he nodded and started trying to explain//invite me to come to the village's pipe club.  Time then spun around a bit in the dream, and I was at the club meeting, meeting folks, smoking m pipe and having a great time, even though I could not verbally communicate with many due to my lack of Polish knowledge.  But, it was a riot and was a great time.  They also enjoyed sharing shots of vodka and had beer available as well.  And I indulged in a couple of beverages as well.  It was a very pleasant dream.  

PipeTobacco  

Sleepy Feelings

I am rather "bushed" this morning and it is showing in my somewhat "clumsy" gait as I meander about on campus. It was a result of a rather busy weekend.... it was my wife's birthday.  As such, it was FUN, but it was also quite out of my weekend routine and very busy:

1.  Her birthday was Friday.  So, immediately after I was done with the very pleasant Retiree's Cigar Group on Thursday..... I high-tailed it all about TWO towns (one the Retiree's Cigar Group town, and the other the town I live in) stopping and shopping at a whole bunch of venues to get "accessories".... not the presents I had already gotten for her.... but the flowers, bows, wrapping paper, present bags, cards, balloons, treats, cakes (yes, plural, more in a minute), ice cream, and various other items to help make the times (yes, plural, again more in a minute) festive.  

2.  My wife had to work late on Thursday, so after my shopping foray (I am not particularly fond of shopping, but I can do it very efficiently), I did a very quick (slightly abbreviated) swim, and then got home to wrap (I am extremely meticulous about wrapping and it has developed into an "extravaganza" of its own with all the ribbons, bows, etc), arrange the flowers as artfully as I could muster in a vase, put the first cake (that I had with me) and the ice cream hidden away,  Then I wrote out notes of love, appreciation, and gratitude in the five birthday cards (my wife loves cards for any occasion, so I evolved over the years to get her multiple cards for EVERY occasion I can think of, but especially on her birthday), and then I carefully hid the receipt for the second cake (to get Saturday) in my beast of burden (my vehicle) so that if she rode with me she would not see it.  AND THEN, I had to find various hiding spots all over the place at home that would be unlikely spots she would stumble across any of these things.  The flowers are usually the most challenging.  I ended up hiding them behind some boxes of Christmas ornaments in the storage area under the basement stairs this time, hoping our cat would not ferret them out and want to nibble on them.  The helium filled "Happy Birthday!" balloon was also a bit of a challenge to hide as well. 

3.  Then I had to clean up ALL my messes so there were no remnants showing and get dinner ready for when she eventually arrived home.  Luckily it was "Tacos" (including my taco salad bigger than my head) so it was a relatively fast preparation as we had most of the ingredients ready to grab and go in the fridge as part of our meal prep work earlier in the week.  

4.  Then I sat down at my den/office desk and was pretending to work on the computer when she arrived home, like is my usual mode on Thursday while I wait for her.  The reality was I didn't do a damn thing of merit on the computer.  Instead, as there was not much time before she would arrive, I relaxed by looking at pipes and pipe tobaccos in an online website I like and find very relaxing and enjoyable..... but even then I had only ~15 minutes of that before she came home.  

5.  Friday afternoon, two of our kids were available and dropped by.  We went out to dinner, and actually went bowling!  My wife's family is very into bowling, so I ended up bowling with them all regularly during our marriage, even being in a league for a number of years.  Neither my wife nor I had been bowling for about 9 years now (basically stopped when my FIL grew ill and passed away, and then my MIL developed dementia).  We played three games.  It is funny, the bowling movements are different enough from my running that my left hip was rather sore by the end of the evening.  

6.  Saturday, the whole day was occupied by a simulation event my wife had for work (and I volunteer at as well (I have spoken of this before, it is a simulation on poverty.), but the participating audience was ~100 community leaders this time so the simulation was impactful in a different way, as most of these folks were more "high falutin" and did not have much association with working class struggles or struggles of the working poor.  It opened up some eyes.  The only other two things we accomplished were to attend Mass and to go to the grocery store to get foods for the Sunday gathering  (I also very early in the morning ran to get Sunday's cake and hid it.... I should have mentioned that first in this #6 statement.).  

7.  On Sunday, we hosted at our house, a gathering of my wife's siblings, some of our kids, and anyone else who could make it over and had a large spaghetti/pasta feast with garlic bread, beans, and other accoutrements.  We ended up playing "Uno" for a few hours as well.  

It was a fun few days, but very active, so I was bushed when we sat down Sunday night to relax and watch an hour of tv before bed.  This morning, I dutifully got up and ran, and prayed the rosary like usual.  But, I have felt tired all day.  I am certain I will be a bit sloppy (I will try NOT to be) on my bass clarinet this evening because we have a scheduled concert tonight.  

But, the one very happy occurrence, is that even though I was rather tired all weekend long, I did have enough fortitude to reminisce and remember various pipes and pipe tobaccos each evening as I drifted off to sleep.  It is  nice to have that back.  Those memories are so pleasant and beautiful.  

PipeTobacco

Worms

Well, more precisely, nematodes.... and even more precisely, Caenorhabditis elegans have been on my mind today.  These beasts are small (~1.5mm in adulthood), but they are profoundly valuable research organisms. It has been, I estimate, ~10-12 years now since I have incorporated these little wrigglers into my research.  Their value to me is that I have been able to translate much of my rodent and fly work to similar methods of study for this nematode.  It has been very helpful to me in my research work with undergraduate students especially because of its very rapid generational time (~2 days) which means undergraduates, with their chaotic schedules (my graduate student’s schedules are more flexible and lab focused) can more easily be involved in research meaningfully.  PLUS, their semi-transparent/translucent body plan allows for relatively easy observation of various of their body systems real-time watching them under a simple light microscope. The generational time for my rodents varies between 90 and 120 days, and even my flies have a generational time of 15-20 days. And, both my rodents and my flies are rather opaque even in early development.   

Well, today I have spent a good deal of time producing and storing food for the little worms and culturing up populations of them for use in one of my classroom lab sessions AND also for some new research work to be starting soon.  

But, what I was thinking of in the back of my mind while working, was when I was able to briefly meet the fellow atop of this entry.  He is the Nobel Prize winning biologist, Sydney Brenner (he used the nematode in his research)  And, he has been a long-standing "hero" of sorts to me from when I first happened to see him in a television program decades before he received the Nobel, back when I was a young undergraduate myself.  

Brenner lived within the same time frame as my parents,  roughly at the tail end of the "Greatest Generation" and the start of the "Silent Generation.  In fact, Brenner's birth year was 1927, only one year earlier than my Mom.  

I was able to hear one of Brenner's talks at a very early research meeting I attended in the start of graduate school.  It was so very exciting to me.  I was in awe.

* * * * *

I did go to the "Retiree's Cigar Group" yesterday, and it was wonderful.  It was a smaller group than usual.  There were only four others besides me, which actually was even nicer in some ways as it encouraged me to open up and talk more.  It was pleasant, jovial and relaxing in all regards.  

* * * * *

I am starting to feel the cold when I run in the morning.  Most days, even though the high temperatures are still (surprisingly) reaching the 70s (and this weekend perhaps the 80s), the 5:00am time when I hit the pavement is usually somewhere between 44-48 degrees.  I am still forcing myself to run in shorts, but I also am running with a sweat shirt and a thin pair of gloves. My prayers as I work through the rosary and listen to Mass music (on my Pandora app on my phone) while running have been especially emphasizing a sincere request to have the pressures I have been experiencing reduce, and I have been asking for guidance on how to work and strive to become a kinder, more helpful person in my work, in my home, and in my external life.  I also ask for help and support in reducing the selfish thoughts I sometimes have.  

* * * * *

After the fiasco about the abstract resolved, things have felt wonderfully even-keel.  I am hopeful for continued smooth sailing, for a while at least.  I even felt relaxed enough last night that I searched around on my pipe racks at home and stuck a pipe in the jacket pocket I would eventually wear this morning when I headed to the U.  Even though I do have a rack of pipes in my outer office here at the U, It gave me a sense of happiness to have selected one from home, and to have purposefully carried it with me while I worked.  I listened to my Crosby, Stills & Nash channel (again on Pandora) while I worked in the lab with the worms.  The channel pulls random songs of a similar ilk of CSN in addition to actual CSN music, which is nice.  But, what is especially nice is that every once in a while, the app adds in a rare, seldom heard (at least to me) CSN song as well, and it feels especially fresh and exciting.  And, I have also enjoyed when Pandora slips in some of the solo works by the members of CSN (& Y) every once in a while too!  I have minimal prior exposure to much of any of their solo careers, and there have been a large number of gems.  I give them a thumbs up to keep them in my Pandora rotation for this channel.  

PipeTobacco

Another Bout of Craziness

In this case, the last few days were UNEXPECTEDLY BUSY (preventing my writing).... and  were edgy and frustrating.... but I was instead just feeling ornery.  So, in this way, it was better than the gloomy feelings I had about the business of the time prior.  

The long and short of the story:

A while back I had submitted an abstract for an international science conference I was planning to attend.  "International" is truthful as it does draw scientists globally, but it is not as exciting as it sounds THIS YEAR, as this year it is being held in the United States.  But it is an important and valuable meeting.... and some of my undergraduate researchers are co-authors on it (very important and valuable for them as they are navigating the next steps in their career). 

One thing non-science folks may not realize.... is that getting to present at scientific meetings is a juried competition.  And, the bigger the meeting (aka more "prestigious" (hah, "cough"... not really more prestigious in my opinion)) the greater the potential that they have a submission FEE to have an abstract CONSIDERED.  

This meeting is one of those that thinks it is "high falutin" as all get out... and charges $300 (non-refundable) to just SUBMIT the abstract so they can decide IF they will let you present.  Again, there ARE some conferences that do this routinely... but MOST do not.  

I have been submitting abstracts to conferences to present research for decades, so I damn well know how to write an abstract.  I knew the research was sound.  

I also had to plan and purchase the tickets for travel, reserve hotel accommodations, and all the other usual things, which I did.  

So, I received an e-mail bright and early on Monday..... telling me my abstract had been REJECTED...... get this..... because it "did not report data."

BALDERDASH! (I would have liked to use far more vehement language here because I felt rather enraged, and I DID say much more vehement language under my breath.... but you can use your imagination.)

My abstract DID (of course) report data, and I was furious.  I do not know if the folks selecting abstracts were intoxicated when they were reading, or if perhaps some of the evaluators were skimping and feeding abstracts into some damn AI tool to try to get out of work, or who-the-hell knows.  

So.... I began my MISSION to get this rectified.  Any time I had at the U when I was not teaching was spent on this damnable process:

1.  I first spent a helluva lot of time phoning the governing body of conference to eventually get some contact e-mails of folks.  

2.  I then put together an angry (but, polite and subdued) e-mail showing my abstract and attempting to point out the profound error of their ways.  I then received notification from someone there that I had to submit a "FORMAL APPEAL" to their ruling..... without any indication in the e-mail of what a "FORMAL APPEAL" entailed or any sort of link to find such information. 

3.  I then scoured the organization's website to see if I could find ANYTHING talking about what a "FORMAL APPEAL" entailed.  After scanning for probably a good three hours, I gave up as there was absolutely NOTHING on the site indicating any sort of process, and hell, not even mentioning what happens when an abstract is rejected.

4.  Unwilling to give up, I then spent much of late Monday and much of the day, Tuesday, developing what I considered a "FORMAL APPEAL" and put together a document of ~seven pages which I attached to an e-mail of every person on the conference committee I could find.  I put "FORMAL APPEAL for Consideration of Pipe Tobacco's Abstract" as the heading of the e-mail.  Most of the document pointed out how my abstract DID present data, but I also spent considerable time explaining why the data are important, and a lot more as well.  I then sent the e-mail.

5.  This morning..... I received an e-mail simply stating that my abstract had been accepted.  No reference to my "FORMAL APPEAL" no indication of what had happened previously, no apology, no reference to any sort of problem with data...... NOTHING.... just a standard acceptance letter.  

So.... "All's well that ends well."..... I guess should be my motto.... but.... I still feel rather "spicy" about the whole damn thing.  But I am glad it is now accepted (as it should have initially been... not a damn thing was changed about it)...... but mostly.... I am especially glad for my student co-authors.  

But.... it was a whole helluva lot of my time (which is already scant enough) that DID NOT need to be devoted to such meaningless nonsense.  I will not get back that time.  This is why I did not write on Monday or Tuesday.

I can tell you.... I am looking forward to being able to be at the "Retiree's Cigar Group" tomorrow.  I hope THAT pans out.  And, now that the above fracus is over.... I can also return to enjoying living in the beautiful memories of my beloved pipes.  I am even now hoping/trying to get back into finishing up the "Father's Display" so I can finally allow myself a real bowlful of pipe tobacco too!

PipeTobacco