Time-Space Shift

 

Following a hugely busy weekend where I became exhausted, I am now back into some semblance of routine today..... yet.... not NORMAL routine.  Due to the sheer exhaustion I have from physically working to help a family relative with an important celebratory party virtually all afternoon Friday, all day Saturday, and all day Sunday.... I was too damn tired, sleepy and sore to run this morning.  My work to help this party be able to occur involved me being a basic jack-of-all-trades during the two and a half days.  In order to help out, I literally ran myself ragged to try to be as helpful as I could.  Setting up and moving picnic tables, preparing food, picking up food, sweeping, cleaning, helping the less computer knowledgeable folks with last minute photography goals, etc.  I truthfully worked until 11:30pm on both Friday and Saturday on those sorts of tasks.... and much of the day Sunday.  I also worked mostly as a servant/server at the event itself.... just to help.  

So.... instead of running, I got up and started my U related cyborging and grading that I fell behind on during the weekend.  

I will have to find some time to put in the 10 or so miles today.  But now it is awfully damn hot outside.... but the heat is not the real problem.... it is incredibly sunny.... which is GOOD.... but it is a curse to me, because I would become sunburn as hell if I went running outside now..... possibly even with some sunscreen on.  I do not really want to run on the treadmill.... but it may be my best option if I do not want to have to wait until much later in the evening.

PCS today - right around a 6.  The desire is ramping up a bit.  

We may see an outdoor play later this week.  That would be wonderful!  

Not much else that I can think of at the moment.  Oh... well, on Sunday, I did my weekly weigh in like I have done for probably at least 25 years now.  I was at 162 pounds (28.1kg , 4.43 Stone).  BMI was a perfectly even "22" which is resting comfortably in the very center of "Normal".  I very much like that I am being successful in this consistency.  At my heaviest, many, many years ago, my BMI was awfully damn close to 40.

PipeTobacco

Positives & Negatives

 

First.... the bullets:

• The TMJ flare-up has subsided somewhat, so that is very good.  It often takes 2-3 days to fully dissipate.

• I ran 10.2 (~16.5km) miles as usual this morning.  I am already at 51.8 (~83km) miles for the week, so since I try to stay between 53 and 54 miles for the week, technically, I can get away with just a short, 2 mile run on Saturday.  In order to make it meaningful at such a short distance, perhaps what I should do is try to push my pace as absolutely fast as I am able to do for the entirety of the two miles.  That may make it helpful to me.  

• I do not know if I mentioned this before, but I bid on and won a set of ten, quite vintage, unused (I guess I could call them NOS), very high-quality bass clarinet reeds a while ago.  I am estimating from the packaging that they may be from the late 1940s or early 1950s.   I bought them because I was able to get them for a tremendously cheap price (I think you all know I like to penny-pinch).  I am thinking perhaps some folks were thinking they were old, grubby, gungy things.... the exterior packaging of the box was rough.... but I could tell from images of the reeds themselves that they were NEVER USED, pristine reeds.  Even though there should be absolutely no discernible playing difference.... I think it will be enjoyably entertaining TO ME to know I am playing my beast using reeds that are roughly 70 years old.  

* * * * *

 I was thinking of some of the "positives and negatives" of my thwarted "adventure":

A.  It is a positive to me that I went there with the intention to enjoy myself.  That the place was not to my liking does not diminish the success of that intention.

 B.  It is also a negative that I went there.  When I found out I could not smoke my pipe there, maybe that should have simply killed the adventure?  As I mentioned before, I have never really desired to purposefully have a cigar.  The few that I have smoked across my life, were enjoyable, but almost all were given to me by someone.  

C.  It was a positive to me that I did not STAY in the bar, simply because I was there.  It was not a place that felt enjoyable, and there was pretty much no one to talk with.  Sure I could have had a drink or two, and could have smoked a over-the-top priced cigar.... but I am not thinking it would have been ENJOYABLE.  It was not an EXPERIENCE like it would have been in pretty much any of the three different scenarios I had anticipated finding.  

D.  It was a negative that I did not stay in the bar.  Perhaps I should have just done what I said I would do, and gotten it over with?  Maybe smoking a cigar would have helped me to know whether I should just stay fully "quit" from pipes and pipe tobaccos, or if I should continue trying to have occasional "experience" approaches with pipes and pipe tobaccos, or if I should just revert back to what was my prior proclivities?  

E.  It was a positive that I did not spend some outrageous amount of cash for a single cigar.  Even though I did not look at the drink prices.... I would not be surprised to see they were outlandish as well.  

These are the basic ideas I have been percolating in my mind.  A few others may arise if I think further.  But that is it for today.  

PipeTobacco

Grumpy

 

Feeling a bit ornery this morning as I am having a TMJ flare-up.  TMJ is the acronym for my tempormandibular joint disorder.... which simply means I was doing a helluva lot of grinding and clenching of my teeth last night even though I wore my bite splint and used my bite sock as well.  

I did notice that I had spit out the bite sock sometime during the night, for some unknown reason.  I awoke around 4:00am and started using it again in an effort to relax my jawline.  When I finally got up around 6:00am, I could tell I was still feeling some of the effects.  

For someone without TMJ it may sound like something innocuous and non-concerning.  But, it really is a significant deal.  My jawline is, of course, sore and tender.  But... it also effects my ears.... they feel inflamed, warm, and itchy, and my sinuses feel irritated as well, even though they are 100% clear (so it is not allergies, which I rarely experience).  Chewing on food aggravates the symptoms in both the jawline and especially in my ears.  I acquiesced (threw in the towel) and took two aspirin about 30 minutes ago.  Hopefully it will prove helpful.  

* * * * *

Bulleted List:

• Tried to "run out of" my TMJ this morning.  I ran 11.1 miles (~18km).  My theory (that sometimes seems to work) is that I typically adopt a posture of having my jaw being loose (not clenched) while I run, and that some days, this can help dissipate any of the "clenching" pain I may experience.  It did not help a helluva lot today. 

• Students are taking an exam today in my class.  So, I can anticipate a host of e-mails.

• When I was listening to Fr. Dan's homily while I ran (I was listening to the Capuchin Mass), he spoke of the fruits of our work, and talked about how we want our fruits to be good fruits.  He admitted that he and many of us will sometimes create sour fruits instead with our efforts.  I am not really doing justice to the way he said this, but it gave me food for thought in regards to my efforts to continue to work to forgive that person who horribly hurt me at work.  The sour fruits that we can make do not help us nor others.  I am thinking the sourness I still can feel for this person is something I can still improve upon and become a better person.   
  

• I am not sure what is up with the mosquitoes this Summer, but they have come out in their usual full-force numbers in our region as of this week.... and yet, in the three bites I have been unable to avoid thus far, all three of them were extraordinarily itchier than usual... and two of the three would develop a very tiny fluid (plasma) filled bubble at the point where the damnable beast inserted its proboscis in me.... in addition to the larger raised red bump I normally get.  Scratching the bite leads to the tiny bubble bursting and leaking out a tiny droplet of plasma.  

• My PCS is a relatively manageable 4 today.  

• My wife and I made a large number of batches of my "banana cookies" that I eat as part of my lunch at work.  I have described them before, but they are basically over ripe banana and oatmeal with some flavorings added and they are baked.  They do taste and feel like cookies to me, but they are a healthy food option I can (and do) eat every day.  I have taken the original recipe my wife found online and modified it to create a large array of different varieties....... chocolate, peanut butter, coffee, molasses, and almond are my favorites.  Well, unfortunately, our dog (who is rather smart and able to often open closed doors.... "snuck" into the kitchen and proceeded to eat about 1 dozen of the chocolate cookies.  The chocolate cookies have a VERY SIGNIFICANT amount of pure cocoa powder in them because I like the dark "bitterish" taste of pure cocoa powder.  But, cocoa is very BAD for dogs.  So, I had to use the old veterinary trick I learned long ago of giving the dog 1-2 tablespoons of home use (3% by volume) hydrogen peroxide.  As you may know, my dog does not take pills well, so I have a large (10cc) syringe (without the needle, I leave those at work) that I use to convert pills to a liquid form to force her to swallow it.  I used the same syringe to get her to swallow the hydrogen peroxide.  It is magical in a horrifying way..... within about 10 minutes or so of giving her the hydrogen peroxide, it makes her vomit the entire contents of her stomach.  As dogs often do not chew food that is soft (especially I think, if they are being sneaky about it)..... out popped 11 relatively intact dark chocolate cookies and a bunch of fluid that had what appeared to be the remnants of the one she did apparently chew a bit to decide initially if she liked them.  

* * * * *

Still thinking more about my "lost adventure".  My opinions are not yet fully formed, but I am thinking perhaps tomorrow I will try to talk through them a bit.  I was wondering in the back of my mind, however, if perhaps the bar was actually some sort of small electronic casino of sorts?  I was thinking this might be a possibility last night.... it could be the video game monitors I saw people at WERE various video games.... but, possibly they may have been electronic slot machines or some such thing for all I know.  Both casino gambling and video games actually bore me to death, so I knew whatever was happening there was not of interest to me.  

 

The "Adventure" But Also More

 

 

 Ok.  First the bulleted list:

• I am not sure exactly how this memory popped into my head, but today I have been thinking and reminiscing over a favorite film of mine.  The film is "The Sterile Cuckoo".  It was released in 1969, and has a classic movie theme song as well.  I used to be able to play this song on the piano.  Perhaps if I found where the sheet music is.... if I remember correctly, it is in a "Fake Book" (but who knows where the hell it is in the house), I could play it again.  Below, I have a link to the theme song:
  

Come Saturday Morning (by the Sandpipers..... the theme song from the movie, "The Sterile Cuckoo")

• I have also found that apparently I can view the whole film again via YouTube.  I am going to have to try to convince my wife that we NEED to watch this film.  I remember it so very fondly.  I think she would like the film, even though she tends to not be particularly nostalgic like I am.  But, when I suggest films and shows to watch from back in the day, she very frequently wrinkles her nose or sighs. But, this is one I truly think she will like. 
  

•  I ran my 10.2 miles this morning.  

• We are going to have what we call "Chickpea Chill" this evening for dinner.  Basically, it is a pleasantly heavily spiced white chicken chili recipe that we converted to vegetarian one time for some vegetarian friends.... basically I substituted chickpeas for chicken.  We ended up actually liking the way it turned out better in the chickpea form than when it was made with chicken... and have made it vegetarian ever since.  It is heavily filled with spices, and has Northern Beans and Chickpeas.  It is wonderful and robust.  

• We had lows around 42 degrees F (~5 C) overnight... I am glad it did not go any lower, as I was getting nervous about the garden.  

* * * * *

Ok.  Well, here goes my attempt to write out about my failed "adventure".  Several days in advance of the required U related overnight trip I had to take, I looked around while getting a hotel, and searched up some of the things in the city that I might like to do in the evening.  But first a caveat:

Being fully vaccinated for greater than two weeks.... means I am as safe as I can currently be against the damnable COVID-19 virus... and ALL MEMBERS of my family have been fully vaccinated for greater than two weeks now too.  This  means I am getting a little bit more comfortable in not always being fully masked.  Now, do not get me wrong.... in general I am quite conservative about my actions in this regard.... truth-be-told, even though in my state and in most states of the U.S. at the moment, virtually all mask wearing (of fully vaccinated people) is not required..... I still tend to wear a mask in even only modestly crowded indoor areas, and also in any area where I think the ventilation may be subpar. So, I am wearing my mask a helluva lot still, even though most folks around me are not.  To me, it makes scientific sense.  My vaccination does not mean I cannot get COVID-19, only that my symptoms are likely to be less severe.  I am still taking a wait-and-see approach and keeping close track of the numbers... and they need to be far lower before I will regularly go mask-less.

So, in my searching around for something to do in the evening that would be fun, I happened (hah... I guess I specifically looked) and found that there was a tobacco shop in the town.... and.... it happened to have what was called a "cigar bar" associated with it.  Now, that tickled my fancy no end.  I began to envision a place where I could go that would allow me to have a drink or two, and smoke my pipe in a venue that *seemed* at least somewhat unlikely to cause me to fully fall back into the beloved habit in the way I had enjoyed it previously.  I was *thinking* as it was a specific, rare location, that it would pose limited risk in this regard.  

So, for a day or two, I was growing ever more excited!  I had picked a pipe to bring with me, and was eagerly looking forward to the trip.  But.... then two days before the trip, I was reading about the "cigar bar" more carefully online.... and I came to realize that "due to state regulations" the "cigar bar" ONLY was able to allow cigar smoking in the bar.  It specifically said pipes (and other tobacco products) were prohibited.  This put a damper on my plans, and at first I was a bit grumpy.  But... the more I thought about it.... I thought.... well.... ok.  Although I was never a big cigar fan.... during my many years of being a pipe smoker, I would have perhaps 1 or 2 cigars a year.  I thought.... well.... maybe that wouldn't be so bad in itself.  Perhaps I could still enjoy the experience.... the adventure... and enjoy a cigar with a drink or two.  I put my pipe back on the rack and did not take it with me.... but as I drove, I did think it would be a helluva lot of fun to have a cigar and a few drinks at the "cigar bar".  So, it still seemed like I could have an adventure.    

In my mind, as I drove, I was imagining what type of "bar" experience it would be, and I presumed it would fall into one of three different "types":

1.  One possibility I thought likely was that it would be extremely "trendy" and filled with "business types" who were mostly networking and posing in the establishment.  While not the most exciting idea, I figured I could easily still enjoy myself and "fit in" as my frumpy self, where even though I was by no means "trendy" I could be either accepted as an "oddity" or a "throwback" to an earlier time.... or just basically "ignored" by the trendy folks.  

2.  Another possibility is that I was imagining that the place would be somewhat "homespun" and rather "old school"  (codgery) and "blue collar".  Those venues would be very comfortable for me.  And, even if it came with perhaps a touch of a "country" vibe.... that would be ok.  While "country" is not something I would particularly gravitate towards, it is a comfortable setting that I at least understand and can deal with, and if it is just homespun, old-school, or "blue-collar".... those are all a damn easy fit in my comfort zone.  And, "codgery" is right up my alley!  So, this would be something enjoyable as well.  

3.   The third possibility I envisioned is that it would be more "young kid - collegial" perhaps filled with a fair share of millennials and their attempts to be hip or "hipster" and.... basically college kids.  This too would be an easy enough place for me to fit in, as I could simply muster up my natural inclination towards my "sagely college professor" demeanor and fit comfortably.   

So, with the thoughts that this "cigar bar" would fall into one of the three camps above, I felt pretty excited about the experience.  And, so when I arrived at the meeting early in the morning, I was eager for the day's worth of meetings.... but was also imagining the early evening experience as well.  

The meetings themselves were generally interesting, and I was able to contribute well.  By the time the meetings concluded around 5:30, though, I was very much looking forward to being out of "meeting mode" until the next morning.  

I went back to my hotel, showered and freshened up myself.  And, then I began to walk towards the location in the city where the "cigar bar" was located.  It was roughly 1.5 miles (~2.5km) from my hotel.  The walk felt nice.  Even though I had ran in the morning before taking off on the trip, sitting in meetings had stiffened me up a bit, and walking felt good.  I had a mask with me, just in case it was needed, but walking outside, it was not required.  I passed by and made note of several places that would be interesting, perhaps to eat or look at for gifts to purchase on my way back to the hotel.  Finally, I came upon the block where the "cigar bar" was located.  From the outside, it looked like it would be of the "trendy" variety.  And, that was "ok".  

When I entered the building, the entryway bifurcated to the left and to the right.  The left had a narrow hallway that led towards the bar.  The right had a narrow hallway that led to the tobacconist shop.  I went to the right thinking I might need to purchase my cigar there first.  The worker (proprietor?  not really sure) there was a huge, muscle bound fellow wearing a tank top and shorts and sporting quite vivid, elaborate tattoos on every inch of exposed skin.... arms, legs, neck, and even a few small ones on his face.  The tattoos were mostly very dark, and featured a helluva lot of skulls, death symbols, crosses, and other imagery that at least I associate with "goth heavy metal" subculture.  He was bald as a cueball, having appeared to have shaved his head.  He also had those types of ear rings on that were designed to stretch out your earlobe to enormous proportions.  His ear RINGS elongating his earlobes had to be almost two inches in diameter.  He was rather quiet, but had some ear buds in his ears listening to something or other.  He was smoking the stub of a cigar.  He was not exactly the type of shop worker I was expecting, but I decided to look around anyway.  

The place *did* have a huge, walk-in humidor of cigars probably 15 by 25 feet in length.  It was the lion's share of the space, actually.  Outside of the humidor was a glass fronted cupboard with a few jars of pipe tobacco and a small column of pipes.  I looked at them for a while.  One pipe was a Peterson, of a similar model to one that I myself have.  I looked at astonishment at the price tag they put on the beast.... it was in the $400.00 range.  That was truly highway robbery, and was not a legitimate price.... I know pipe pricing.  The rest of the pipes were no-name "basket" pipes of a few sorts.  There were perhaps 10 of these.  Normal prices for basket pipes would hover in the $25 -$60 range.  But, every damn one of these was sporting a tag in the neighborhood of $100 - $150.  And, the pipe tobacco itself was pricey but also hum-drum.  They were selling a 1.5 OUNCE package of pipe tobacco that was a house blend (that smelled like simple vanilla tinctured pipe tobacco) for $37.00!!!!!!!  This was ludicrous.  

But, in the quest for adventure, I tried to just look beyond the pipes and decided to go into the cigar humidor to try to figure out what to get.  Even though I do not know the prices of cigars in anywhere near the way I do pipes and pipe tobaccos.... I could still tell prices were hiked up to rather extraordinary levels.  The least expensive, rather pitiful looking cigar I could find in the humidor was $24.  And, the more normal cigars and some of the garishly large cigars were easily double or triple that.   

It was rather crazily priced, I know... but I figured... what the hell..... one (overly priced) cigar.... for an "adventure".... I could still do this.  

I went back out of the humidor and tried to engage "Tattoo Man" in some conversation.  It took a bit for him to break away from whatever was on his phone and coming in his earbud.  But, I began to ask how to go about buying a cigar for the bar.  He told me I should look around and decide what I was interested in, and then I would have to go into the bar and order it there (some other regulation, I guess).  The bartender or waitperson would then get the cigar and bring it to me and also make any drink I had wanted.  

Ok.... so.... I moseyed back toward the bar hallway.  It was rather long.. and as I drew closer, it was becoming rather noisy as well. 

When I finally entered the bar room, I was rather taken aback.  The place was rather dark and had (to me anyway) a dank, clammy feel.  Most of the illumination in the place was from a variety of video screens and a few of what appeared to be "black lights".  There were only perhaps a half a dozen folks in the bar at this time, as I probably was a bit early for the "party crowd".  There was some sort of heavy metal music playing..... an incredibly chaotic, very fast type.... "thrash" perhaps? And, each customer seemed to be some sort of burly clone of the fellow in the tobacco shop..... and each was very actively involved in some damnable video game of some sort playing on the monitor in front of them.  They each sported headphones that I am used to seeing and remembering in the 1970s.  

No real tables to speak of, no seats other than those at the terminals.... or a few lone stools at the bar itself.  

I was crestfallen.  This would not be a "fun" place for me to spend an hour or two or three.  I was already getting a damn headache from the noise.  I simply walked back out, down the long hallway, and then exited from the building.  I was very disappointed.

As I walked back toward the hotel, I stopped and bought a double scoop ice cream cone.  One scoop was Chocolate Moose Tracks, and the other was Chocolate Peanut Butter.  

So.... that was my "adventure" as it were.  I am going to stop here for today.  Perhaps tomorrow or in a day or two, I will try to write about my thoughts about the adventure.

PipeTobacco

 

Mental "Sci-Fi" Vacation

I am still in the midst of considerable cyborging work for the U.  It is at a manageable level however.  I am still working through in my mind, the ideas/impacts/effects of my negative?/positive? adventure as well.  I am thinking I likely may take a stab at explaining it during tomorrow's post... I think by then, my thoughts will have gelled as well as they can.  

So, for today, a bit of a bulleted list, and then after that, some thoughts (flights of fantasy, I suppose) that I have also been allowing myself:

• Running has been going well.  As I think I mentioned previously, I did now complete my June 1/2 Marathon run (13.1 miles (~21 km)).  This run, however, was especially enjoyable because I veered off of my normal paths and ran in a completely different part of town.  I had been hesitant to do this to any appreciable sense as I have worry that I will not be paying adequate attention in these new areas and will trip on some unnoticed crack in the sidewalk or some wonky curb that I did not notice.  I HAVE tripped once a year over the last few years in this fashion and have each time, very badly skinned my knee in such a way that it would take SEVERAL weeks to heal as I would peel away most of all three layers of the skin.  And, when I fall, I have always fallen in the exact same way, where I keep re-injuring that same spot.  But, I decided to bite the bullet, so-to-speak, and give it another go.... vowing to remain vigilant of the road surface the entire time.  It is MUCH more fun to run in new places than I am used to, and I think I run faster, and enjoy the new scenery.  

• The impetus to run outside of my well know paths was brought about by how much fun it was to run in the new location I found myself in with the U related trip I spoke about where I had to run somewhere new.... or run on a hotel treadmill (dreadful).  

• I had a little bit of some grant money left over that I had to spend before the end of the month, so I ordered some fun gadgets that I think will be very helpful to my students and also to me as we work on new research projects this Fall (presuming Covid stays at bay).   

• I am going to have to buy a new pair of running shoes.  My kids and wife were aghast when I told them on Father's Day that I had ~1,450 (~2,334 km) miles on my current pair.  "Supposedly" it is recommended to get a new pair at 500 miles (~805km) of use.... so the family gave me some grief about that.  

• I wore my son's sport watch on a run the other day, and his gizmo has sensors that purport to determine what is called the "V̇O₂ max" measurement.  V̇O₂ max is the maximum rate of oxygen consumption measured during incremental exercise; that is, exercise of increasing intensity (Note, I just looked this up today.). When I finished the run, my son showed me this V̇O₂ max reading for my run that showed on his gizmo.  My reading was "48" which I feared was pretty damn poor, as I thinking more of "Pulse O₂" which I am more familiar with as it is used widely in clinical/hospital settings (and a "Pulse O₂" reading of 48 would be horrific).  So, after the run, I gave him back his watch and didn't say much about that "48" not wanting to discuss it with him.  
  

• But, I have to say, that "48" number stuck in the back of my mind, and had me fretting about it.... and at the same time I was NOT wanting to explore it further, because I did not want to read any sh*tty news, to be frank.  But, finally, this morning, after I got to the U, I gave myself permission to look more deeply into this measure, figuring I could quietly stay in my office if the news was as horrible as I was fearing.  When I read and saw charts about this, I was shocked to see that my reading of "48" was actually considerably in the "superior" category for my age group, and I would actually still be in the "superior" category even if I was a large number of years younger than I am too!  So... that was surprising and happy news.  But, of course, the gizmo watch's reading could be b*llsh*t too, for all I know.  But, it is nice to think I had a good number.  

So, onto my "mental 'sci-fi' vacation"..... I have had this sort of mental exercise be something that I would think about before, to this is not really new.  But, I had not done this in a while.  I was imagining if it were possible to truly time-travel, and was thinking about the two times I would most like to go to visit and submerge myself into the culture and the times.  The caveat is that in this version, my parameters were that a) I would be my current age, b) I would be working in a U as a professor like I do now, c) I *would* be free to be smoking my pipes, and d) I would be able to run like I currently do, even though I might not run on these "vacations".  In my mental vacation, I have decided that at the moment, the three times I would most like to visit and immerse myself in for a week or two each would be:

a)  Late 1800's (probably 1870-1890) East Coast of the US or in Europe.  Imagining working, living, and experiencing the U life and the city life in one of these regions and during that time would be fascinating, eye opening, and just feeling the societal culture of the time would be very interesting.

b)  Late 1940s (probably 1948-50), most likely in the East Coast of the US.  Being able to experience at my current age, the society and societal constructs that my parents experienced.  I think it would be especially interesting to live in this period as a person who would have been older, sort of akin to the age group of Heminigway or a decade or so older at that time.

* * * * * 

I have been listening to my Pandora channels this morning, moving back and forth a bit between different genres I especially like.  But, I must admit, the song that most resonated with me today is:

Urge for Going - Crosby, Stills, and Nash

Please give that song a listen.  It may be one you are unfamiliar with.  But, CSN has so many wonderful gems that *do not* get appropriate space on oldies channels.  

PipeTobacco

Had to....

 I have been away unfortunately because things became too hectic and I have not had much time to compose coherent thoughts other than what was all consuming for work.  

I believe things have settled back into a routine of sorts again, so posting will likely return to a regular schedule.  Today was the first day I did not feel akin to a chicken with its head cut off.  

I ran my monthly 1/2 marathon this morning.  It was the best part of my day.  

I had to go on a U related overnight trip a few days ago.  It was busy, but it went adequately.  I had even planned an “adventure” of sorts that had been appealing for me.  But it did not go as I had envisioned.  I cannot yet describe what I am feeling about the reality versus my vision of this “adventure” as I am still trying to figure it out myself.  I am trying to figure out if the negative outcome was perhaps a “positive” or if it was just sad.  I suspect as I work through this more, that in a day or two or three I can better explain and lay out what did/didn’t transpire.  

PipeTobacco 

Inch by Inch

 

 

Still feeling exhausted.  I believe it really is due to the high heat and the tremendously strong sun at the moment.  For our region it is much more like mid-August, instead of early June in regards to dryness, high temperature, lack of clouds, and intensity of sunlight.  With my exhaustion, I suspect another bulleted list will be my best bet for today's efforts.  My various, scattered throughts feel akin to a ping-pong ball being batted back and forth in every direction:

• There are ample levels of , and more budget friendly than usual supplies of cherries at the moment at roadside stands and grocery stores in my region.  This is a great thing.  I have consumed a cereal sized bowl of the delightful fruits this morning and have a pile of pits to show for it. 
• As I had hoped, but I was not sure if it would happen..... my wife has spent considerable time thinking through the various shiny, gizmo-ey doo-dads the salesperson swayed her with.... and she has reverted back to our previous thoughts and ideas and the salesperson's spell has been broken!  We are stepping ever closer to pulling the "trigger" on her vehicle.... we have narrowed it down to two vehicles, and I am fervently searching databases of various sorts.  
• The "Hooch Moon - Contrabass Dubstep" music video I linked to yesterday.... still is on my mind.  So much so, that I have been listening throughout the morning to various other songs by Hooch Moon.  I am so impressed with their work.  Three musicians, working with the following four instruments are making some truly striking modern music..... contrabass clarinet, baritone saxophone, tenor saxophone, and basic drum set.  
• In my wildest pipe dream imagination, I would like to create an interesting video of a jazzy/cool song I am playing on my bass clarinet.  But the type of recording equipment to use, the cost of buying it, and the learning curve feels too daunting.  
• I am thinking that perhaps *if* Covid rates stay low through the end of June, I may be willing to venture into at least considering the possibility of swimming in the public (indoor) pool.  It has recently opened.  I so miss swimming.  
• I had a fairly large number (at least 15) of VERY violent, consecutive sneezes last evening.  This has happened occasionally for me for a lot of years.... but not usually as many as happened last evening.  I have tried to figure out a trigger for this happening, but I still think I am grasping at straws.  The *only* somewhat cohesive thread I can find is that it *seems* to at least OFTEN be associated with a meal where I eat a LARGE amount of raw onions..... BUT... the nonsensical part is that it seems to occur perhaps an hour to an hour and a half AFTER I eat the large amount of onions.  I do not really know if the association I see is real or not.... hell.... I eat a fair amount of raw onion every evening (at least in my gigantic salad if not on other things).  
• I mention the sneezing mostly because yesterday's sneezes were SO numerous and so aggressive that I think they caused some minor subconjunctival hemorrhages in the whites of my eyes.  These red lines worried me a bit when my wife first noticed them, but I was reading about them more this morning and it seems a common occurrence with such violent sneezes.  I rarely have ever had bloodshot looking eyes... so they took me by surprise this morning.  
• It was still oppressively warm this morning at 5:00am during my run (76 degrees F (~24.5C)).... so I was again a "Sasquatch" but I sweated so profusely through my run, that I was glisteny wet from head to toe (hair, beard, mustache, skin, socks, shoes, shorts) by the time I finished my 10.2 miles (~16.5 km).   I started out in dense fog, but it burned away about half way through the run.  
• Pat had asked me about my fluid consumption yesterday.  At least 25 or so years ago, I made a conscious decision to dramatically increase my fluid intake daily.  Now-a-days I typically consume between 120 and 150 ounces of fluid a day (3.5 - 4.5 liters).  It is very helpful for me with all the running I do.  But, my initial push to drink fluids was from some of the physiology scientific literature I was reading back then that highlighted how the efficiency of the body in eliminating waste products (including pollutants (like pesticides, herbicides) you may inadvertently ingest) is enhanced by greater fluid intake.  Since that time, there have been other important associations with high fluid intake..... better glucose balance (I tell this to my wife all the time)..... lowered stress hormones in circulation.... and others.  
• PCS score today.... 5.  A pipe sounds very appealing, very beautiful, and rewarding, but I can keep the thoughts mostly at bay.  
• I am so very close to submitting the new edition that I am starting to feel excited about it soon being off my plate!!!!!
• We are having an Indian dinner tonight!  I am very excited.  My wife has not been in the mood for such in a while and I have a big hankering for it.  I have made a simmering crockpot of spiced chickpeas that have been giving absolutely beautiful room notes to the house all day!  My wife is planning to make a spiced bread and perhaps some rice, and we have made an Indian "pudding" with pistachios for desert.  And, of course... I will have another enormous salad tonight as well (with raw onions).  And, I have a chickpea/chard cold salad I will be eating as a side dish as well!  It will look something like shown above.  It should be damn good!!!!!

PipeTobacco

Just..... REALLY Tired

 

I have not written for a few days, but I am just feeling REALLY tired, much like the fellow in the image above.  My mental, emotional, physical energies are ALL low.  I am not actually sad or happy..... just feeling tired and run down.  Even though I am not sure, I *think* it may in part be due to the prolonged heat wave we have had the last 5-6 days.  I do know it takes me a while each year to acclimate to the high temperatures and high humidity of Summer in my region.  Even with air conditioning, it is still a noticeable change because I spend a fair amount of time outside most days in one form or another.  I AM very thankful for air conditioning for sleeping at night and relaxing in the late evening.  My mind is not focused enough to compose much more than another bulleted list of basic thoughts:

• I ran 10.2 miles (~16km) on Monday and 11 miles (~18km) today (Tuesday).  It was so very warm both days even at 5am (~75 degrees F (~24 C)) that I ran both days in my "Sasquatch Mode" (shirtless so I was a rather frightening, beastly furball to anyone I would run past.  But, at least at 5am there were not many folks out, and I also did not need to put on sunscreen as it was early sunrise time. 
• My community band had its first concert in a park last night.  In one song, I was not focused enough and like a complete doofus, I came in four measures ahead because I stupidly did not count out the 8 measures of rest accurately.  So, I felt embarrassed as hell for the three wrong notes before I figured out my idiocy.  It was in the second song of our 10 song set, so it flustered me a bit and I felt "off" during the other songs of the evening. I do not believe I made any glaring errors, but I do not think my phrasing was what it could have been either. 
  
• I went vehicle shopping with my wife again, and in some ways it is like walking on eggshells.  BEFORE we go shopping for her, we are both in agreement on wanting to get her a vehicle that is good quality, but also is at a fair and reasonable price.  But, my wife (in a similar way to my father) is VERY easily swayed and swoons at the b*llsh*t the salesmen throw at us.  This then makes my wife suddenly become enamored with each and every high priced widget/doodad that she hears about, and before long, the vehicle price is much, much more expensive than what we had talked through before with the features she wanted and we talked through BEFORE the sales pitch.  But, when I try to steer her back to our at home discussion, she becomes a bit grumpy at me because at least at that moment, she is all about the shinny tin whistles and add-ons.  I try to not say much, and hope when the faux luster of the sales pitch wears off, we will be able to again work through this to get her, her next vehicle.  
• The new edition of my book (just a dry, small academic textbook) is about 95% done, but I am just struggling to feel the motivation to get it finished and off my plate.  But the deadline is looming so I have to find the fire in me to do so.
• When I went to water our garden at the community garden today, I was surprised and happy that the one chard plant we had that had been damaged (an errant rock crushed it shortly after planting... and I thought was a goner), struggled and put forth a new, very, very tiny leaf, so it may be able to recover.  I have five other chard plants in the garden, so I will try to nurture this one to continue on its recovery.  
• PCS scores the last few days have been in the 3-4 range.  
• Theoretically, we are in an area where we should have had the emergence of the 17 year old cicadas.  But, I never heard or saw any.  
• We need rain.  It has been dry as toast in a desert wind here.  
• I guess I will conclude, but I want to give you a link to a new music group I stumbled across that actually really intrigues me.  It is very MODERN and the kids playing are very young, but it is... to me.... quite striking and enjoyable.  It has a bit of a jazz feel and a bit of a rock feel at the same time.  I ask you to take the 3 minutes of this song and listen and watch (it is YouTube).  The three fellows are damn amazing in my opinion.  It features a contra bass clarinet, a tenor saxophone, and a drum kit:
  

                                       "Moon Hooch - Contrabass Dubstep" 

PipeTobacco

So Odd

 

You may remember that yesterday, my PCS was a "2" and it was similarly in the "2" and "3" ranges through much of the earlier part of the week.  

With no real rhyme nor reason I can discern, today my PCS is again up to roughly an "8".  I have been feeling a deep yearning to smoke my pipes and pipe tobaccos.  My mind easily drifts away from the various tasks I am doing and migrates to imagining smoking a pipe.  

I guess, though, I can say it is a bit more specific in some ways as well.  In all of my mental meanderings from task today, in my imagination, I am remembering how joyful and simple it was to smoke a pipe in earlier decades.  I remember teachers in school, and professors in college who would smoke in class, especially on days when they were monitoring us during exams.  I remember how common place smoking was in meetings, and in just day-to-day activities.  

The undulations in my PCS score still surprise me, even though I have experienced them now for over three years.  Just so interestingly odd and unanticipated.  

* * * * *

In an earlier post's comment, Pat gave a suggestion that I should consider throwing away, giving away, or selling my pipes.  The comment was made in reference to my suggestion as to the only way I could likely stop the undulations of PCS scores would be to actively seek to generate hatred of pipes and pipe tobaccos in myself.  

Yet, I do not think I could successful create that sort of veil of hatred for pipes and pipe tobaccos.  I think it is not in my makeup to do so.

And, the thought of throwing away, giving away, or selling my pipes... while technically, I think I could force myself to do this.... I believe that a) it would leave me uncomfortable and sad, b) I think it would NOT prove an aid to reducing or eliminating the higher ranges of my PCS score.  The logic of the idea does *appear* sound.... but I also do realize that in practice, there are numerous times where I will casually fall into daydreaming of smoking my pipes and tobaccos even when I am nowhere near them.... it is easy enough to do anytime... anywhere.  :)

Truthfully, as inane as it may sound to someone who does not like pipes and pipe tobaccos.... the thought of them and the thought of indulging in them feels creative, feels beautiful, feels artistic, feels fulfilling, and feels affirming.   I do not think there is a way to rewire my brain to believe otherwise. 

PipeTobacco

 

 

Discombobulated

I have been very unfocused the last several days since I wrote, and I cannot discern any real reason to attribute it to. Yet, oddly, at the same time, I am not really falling behind in things that NEED to get done either.  It is just odd... it almost feels like I am "detached" from "feeling" and "experiencing" things... at least in the way I am used to.  I am going to try to list highlights of "stuff" that has been going on both for me to try to recognize what has been happening, but to also see if I can muster energy or thought to figure out this "detached" feeling:

...

....

.....

......

........

Hmm.  I just am not really sure what to list.  It is all just "stuff" that doesn't seem worth even trying to put down.  There are A LOT of things that have happened, do not get me wrong.  But why write it?  

I DO KNOW that I want to go swimming.  Summer without swimming..... not exciting.  

Running goals have been consistent.  I have ran over 1,250 miles (~ 2,011 km) so far this year.

My pipe craving score is about a "2" today.

?

Maybe I will end this post with just a couple of thoughts that have penetrated my "fog" to some degree:

Yesterday, I was working on revising and updating some of teaching PowerPoint slides.  In my embryology course, there is a series of slides I have made where I speak about and show a variety of aspects of fertilization.  

I have slides showing the internal female reproductive architecture and highlight how in we humans (it is different in various species, which we also eventually talk about in this class) fertilization occurs in the ampulla region of the female's Fallopian tube, and how the spermatozoa have a fairly difficult and competitive race over great distances, much like a marathon runner, to try to be the first to reach the unfertilized ova.  

After the male releases his gametes in the vagino-cervical orifice within the female, these spermatozoa must, in order to succeed, start swimming through the cervix into the uterus, and traverse from the base of the uterus all the way up to the uterine opening of the oviduct (Fallopian tube) and then continue to swim deeply into the Fallopian tube to nearby the ovary at the ampulla region. With a single spermatozoa only being about 5/100th of a MILLIMETER in length, this is a helluva long way to travel.  The directions in which these gametes discern how to swim in order to try to find the ova are through a mixture of two different chemotaxic and one thermotaxic gradients within the fertile female's reproductive architecture.  Those spermatozoa that get there the most rapidly then have a competitive edge to potentially be THE ONE to fertilize the ova.  

* * *

Well, very early this morning, my wife was kind enough to allow me to "sow some domestic oats" with her.  This, of course, was a very good thing and both of us were content and able to snuggle afterwards for an hour or so before the work routine for the day began.  As is my typical pattern before work, I needed to get my run accomplished for the day.  And, I was able to complete my 10.4 miles (16.7 km) this morning even though I must admit my pace was more "leisurely" as a result of the earlier activity.

But, as I was running, I was thinking about my swimmers.  And, I was wondering if they were able to find the ampulla.  As my wife is post-menopausal, I was also wondering if there were or were not any chemotaxic gradients for them to use on their journey.  I did not really know how to answer such a question.  It seems likely the decline in estrogen and progesterone my wife would have had occur since menopause would have altered these chemotaxic signals.  I would suspect the thermotaxic gradient would remain wholly intact, however.  It is very foolish, I know... but I do admit I felt just a bit of melancholy for the swimmers, because there was  no potential that they would find an ova, even if they could find the ampulla.  

PipeTobacco