Gritty

Since I last wrote, it was not the best of times.  Things were wonderful last week, up and through Thursday's Retiree's Cigar Group.  But, after that concluded, things went into the proverbial toilet.  The very little I can report is that there was an extended period of discussion with the person I no longer write about here who purposefully wanted the visit to be about “discussing” things.  I was able to (calmly and with precise wording and considerable tears on my part) explain about 85% of my thoughts over the course of the three day visit.  These thoughts were able to be received by the individual's auditory collecting equipment, but whether these thoughts will be examined, thought about or considered in any real sense, remains to be seen.

This may not be the appropriate venue to discuss this, but I will do so briefly.....

When I am under a significant amount of emotional stress..... I become extremely constipated.  This is not something new.  I can remember this occurring as early as junior high school.  I have done as many things as I can think of to remedy this situation..... a) I further increased my already very, VERY high fiber diet, b) I increased my already very, VERY high fluid intake, c) I increased my running miles today, and d) since the immediate stresses of the weekend have now dissipated back into a more distant, nebulous state, I have tried to enact relaxing thoughts through my body while praying the rosary today during my run, and also since then.  

I am HOPING and anticipating potential relief hopefully by sometime this evening.

* * * * *

I forgot if I mentioned that I was able to take my bass clarinet and my contra alto clarinet in to each get a bit of a tune-up for Fall.  I did that prior to going to the Retiree's Cigar Group.  I will look forward to their return and their respective “tune up” which this technician does a great job of after a year of intensive playing.  This is the second time I have taken the bass clarinet in and the first for the contra alto.  I look forward to their being “up to snuff”.  I also found a place that makes FDA food grade 3-D printed replicas of the standard issue contra alto mouthpiece (used ones are HARD to find, and new ones of a different manufacturer can cost ~$500.00 which is too rich for me for a used, “junked” cast-off contra alto that I bought for considerably less than $500 that I fixed up myself (BTW, new contra alto clarinets hover around a starting price of ~20 - 25 thousand dollars….. something I would never spend.  I very much like my rejuvenated “junker” that I searched for over 5 years to find.  The same was/is true of my (former “junkyard”) bass clarinet that I refurbished and have played for ~30 years now.  

* * * * * 

It is a long shot, I know..... but might anyone here be able to give advice to the following question I have:

Do you know of a good book (or potentially some other media, but as an old guy, I truly tend to learn more easily from books) that would help me to:

Better understand how to creatively use chord notations that are typically written above lead sheets of music?  

"Lead Sheets" is a term given to music that focuses on (if for example, playing the piano) the song's melody (using the right hand on the piano).... but it gives chord symbols above the staff.  Sometimes these forms are music are compiled into what are called "Fake Books" as well.  

Even though I know I should try to just play more regular piano music (with both treble clef and bass clef staffs), lead sheets are by far easier for me to simply sight read.  

BUT... I am extremely CLUNKY with chords.  I do not know how to do much with chords beyond very dull full chords.  When I do my typical "whole note or half note" full chords to a lead sheet..... it sounds extremely amateurish and not really particularly enjoyable.  But.... have have HEARD folks using Lead Sheets with only chords atop, who can magically make their chords SING in ways that fit in perfectly as creative harmony for the actual melody.  

At one time, I thought ARPEGIOS were the answer on how to use the chord symbols have some musicality...... but.... either a) I do not understand enough how to use or understand arpegios..... or b) they do not actually work well to improve that improvised left hand playing. 

So, that is the question I pose today.  I wish I could figure it out.  I think it would make playing accompaniment so much more positive. 

* * * * *

After the stressful dialogues finished Sunday afternoon, my wife and I went to an evening concert in the park.  It was delightful, and I had hoped that it would help with my gastro-intestinal malaise... but it did not.  And, after not having any dreams I could recall in the last several days, I had a beautiful pipe dream last night.  It is interesting to me, how I so frequently have beautiful, longing-inducing dreams and/or memory dreams about my pipes and pipe tobaccos.... but I do NOT have any similar cigar related dreams.  I did, if I recall correctly, have at least one dream about going to meet the guys of the Retiree's Cigar Group, but the cigar itself, has never been a focal player in the dream.  

PipeTobacco

Sasquatch Mode

 

As I wrote about a while ago, I have been running mostly on the treadmill or at the indoor track for the lion's share of the time since last October because I have felt nervous and ill at ease about the possibility of tripping and falling while running.  As you know, over the years, I have typically tripped and fell.... usually once a year..... every year I have been running.  Usually, it results in a very badly scrapped up knee and elbow, but once a couple of years ago I hit my face as well, and required a few stitches and a CAT scan (to make sure I did not have any broken bones near my eye socket.... I did not).

But, I missed running outside.  It is beautiful (when I do not trip and fall) and in the early morning sunrise it is great to see a lot of wildlife and beauty in nature.  

Over the past several weeks, I began a consistent effort to try to do what I can to decrease the potential to trip and fall.  I have been routinely (usually 6 days a week) purposefully using a "BOSU" ball to try to improve the responses of my reflex arcs associated with my lower legs and spinal cord.  I do feel it has been helpful.

Of course, there are situations where a fall could still happen..... the big case in point was last year's trip and fall that was a result of my running on a beautiful, newly surfaced road.... but there was ONE, DAMNABLE, TARRED OVER ROCK that was glued by the tar (and disguised by the tar) to the surface of the roadway, and the toe of my shoe (of course) clipped that damn rock, and I fell over, scrapping my knee and elbow quite badly.  It was this actual fall that has made me rather gunshy about running outdoors. 

But.... I felt confident enough (foolish enough?) this morning to try running outside again.  And, because it was ALREADY an extremely humid 75 degrees F (~24 C) this morning at 5:00am, I also went "Sasquatch Mode" (no shirt, just shorts, socks and shoes).   

I have to admit it was a bit nerve-wracking and I was spending a lot of the time scanning the pathway's surfaces.  But, I also saw the early morning sun begin to peak out of the clouds, I saw two different ladies with their fluffy dogs (and I did not scare either of them away), and ran by a few squirrels, bunnies, and saw one deer.  

As I prayed the rosary while running, I also thought a bit about and decided I am going to try to write out some ideas over the next few days relating to my thoughts/worries/fears about a potential retirement in terms of my purpose in life, my motivation in life, and my goals in life. Broadly, I feel considerable guilt, anxiety, fear..... and also at the same time... ambivalence, a lack of energy, and a lot of ambiguity about purpose, motivation and goals.  It is rather confusing to me, and perhaps if I write it out here, it will potentially help me find some clarity.

I will be going to the Retiree's Cigar Group this afternoon.  And, after last Thursday's hearty welcoming back by the guys, I am looking forward to it again.  It is just nice to have a place to go and have friends (beyond family and work).  

En route to the Retiree's Cigar Group is a musical store that has a good repair person.  I am also going to drop off my bass clarinet and also my contra-alto clarinet off to him so each may get a bit of a tune-up.  It will likely take a few weeks, but he does a very nice job.  

Sincerely,

PipeTobacco

Retirement Things

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• Yesterday, my wife and I went down, about 90 minutes away, to a U Financial Planner who is a specialist in helping faculty plan retirement.  You may recall my wife and I have been visiting with (every six months or so for a while…. and this would be on the U campus)  the U Financial Planner who is a "generalist" for all faculty, regardless of age, and we saw that fellow perhaps two months ago.  It was he who suggested we may want to also start meeting with the U Financial Planner who specializes in helping faculty figure out how/when to retire, and this specialist helps figure out more firm financial "numbers" for our future.  So, it is the specialist we went to see.  
• Nothing much to report yet.... we met with him, talked about our hopes/aspirations for retirement, our worries (my worries, my wife thinks we are fine) and now the fellow is going to to do some significant number crunching so that we can examine a variety of "models" at our next meeting in the middle of August.  
• Please remember.... I am used to (from my family lineage) of folks simply getting some sort of "pension" and that is it…. plus social security.  No wrangling, no deciding, no figuring out crap.  That is not how apparently anyone operates these days as far as I can tell..... or at least I KNOW that is now how the U operated our retirement.  The whole damn process has scared me most of my working life.  I did what was recommended each step along the way...... BUT, the whole damn thing to me seems like "smoke and mirrors" instead of something that makes me feel secure.  Terms like "401K", "investments", "divestments",  "pull downs" and "Roth" and other similar mumbo-jumbo hyperbole make my blood run cold and my mind fearful.  But, it is what it is.  I truthfully do not believe or trust any damn part of it.  For a lot of years, I was so worried that it was all "smoke and mirrors" I had already resigned myself to the notion that I would simply work to the grave so as to not become destitute.  I would occasionally mention that to my wife..... and she would usually just dismiss my thoughts with, "No, do not worry, everything will be fine." platitudes.  But, I never believed those platitudes…. anymore than I believed all the retirement financial hocus-pocus was real either.  I guess we are now at a point where I will perhaps actually see if there is a reality of a retirement.... or as I have secretly always had in the back of my mind...... my working to the grave..... will be the plan so as to not be regaled to the poor house. 
• Afterwards, we went to a Thai restaurant nearby the office of the U Financial Planner.  I did have to work a bit in my mind to NOT suggest to my wife we should just go home to save money.   That would not have gone over well, if I had done so.  I have to say the food was delightful.  I had a Vegetable Red Curry with chicken (the free options were tofu or chicken.... which is good for me, as I do not like the upcharged options.....  shrimp, beef, pork, crab, lobster....  in those kinds of dishes).  I chose chicken because.... 1) I like chicken, 2) I do like tofu, but have been a bit "tired" of it lately.... AND mostly because 3) their tofu for this dish was fried.... and I do not like fried ANYTHING.    My wife had Pad Thai.

That is about it for right now.  Just working on syllabi, and also the basement.  

PipeTobacco

Cornucopia

 

A fairly hefty array of mundane things to report:

• My absence last week was primarily due to setting up the new computer (which I am typing on as I write), cleaning my home den/office, and cleaning other things (so far, the backyard, the laundry room cupboards and laundry room generally, the first floor bathroom, and some other odds and ends.... still much more to do.... and I have to keep pushing since I do not often have the "mindset" needed to purge.
• Regarding the computer..... it did cause me considerable consternation..... as I had expected.... setting up gizmos like this is not something I enjoy.  But, I took it rather slowly..... I would work on the contraption until I felt frustrated..... and then go do something else until I was feeling again able to "calmly" continue the effort.  This did go on for a while.  But, now the new computer is up and running and I believe I have all the programs I need and want downloaded into the guts of the beast.  
• Honestly, though, I can report that set-up of an infernal machine like this has apparently improved by 2026.... for even though it WAS frustrating.... it was NOT as frustrating a time as it was when I last set up the (now defunct) prior machine in my den/office..... roughly 15-16 years ago.  I appreciate that many ancillary gizmos (aka printer, for instance) now were Wifi connectable instead of adding to the myriad of snaking cords all about.   My cords also are NEATER than they have ever been before.   
• This is my first real day using the machine, and I am still NOT sure if I really like having two screens.  I will give it a go for a while, of course, to see if my mind can acclimate to this situation.... but it DOES feel odd (and not "normal") to have to look to the right and left so much, and NEVER dead center, like I am used to.  My wife keeps "assuring" me I will grow to love having two monitors..... but we shall see.
• On the fourth.... it has been a long standing tradition to go see "the fireworks".... and in my locale there are three different, relatively equidistant cities that have these festivities.  While the 30-60 minutes of the fireworks display is interesting and pretty..... and I have tried to varying degrees of success to photograph fireworks... there are two things I actually rather dislike...... a) the NOISE.... I tend to be noise sensitive, and they are anything but.... and b) to get a "good spot" to see the fireworks, my wife has always had us show up more than a couple of hours before sunset to the designated spot.  The getting there early is the hardest part for me, because a) even with ample sunscreen, I dislike sitting around in the open sun.... it is just uncomfortable for me, and b) sitting out in the sun waiting for sunset and then enough darkness for the show to begin..... is (to me) akin to watching a pot of water, waiting for it to boil...... drudgery.  But this year, my wife, due to the very hectic past week she especially had (more, next bullet point), decided SHE was not up for going to the fireworks.  
• Not only did my MIL have the fall I mentioned before, and has needed a lot of extra care and support, the surgery (spinal fusion) my SIL had has created a very difficult recovery period for her, my BIL (my wife's brother) went into the emergency room with bladder/prostrate issues.  Taken as a whole.... we (but especially my wife) have been traveling to-and-fro all over the place between the three places where the three of them reside to try to help.   
• So our "4th of July Holiday" was more simple than usual.  We did three things..... a) on the actual 4th, we went to my SIL's and played euchre with them much of the afternoon.  We brought pizza and chips and snacks for while we played together, b) after Saturday Mass... we went and visited my MIL and brought her a bunch of snacks and helped tidy up her apartment, and then c) yesterday (Sunday) we went to a 4th of July themed, outdoor wind band concert in the early evening.  The concert was delightful.  We brought lawn chairs, and ate cubed watermelon and also cucumber slices while we heard the delightful music.  
• I have been working on revising syllabi for Fall courses, and now I can take my paper edits and fix up my documents on this new computer.  
• My den/office is exceptionally tidy now.... and I did spend time polishing all the displayed, beautiful pipes in my office/den's pipe racks.  They look so shiny and inviting now!  It may sound very odd... but I had been really missing the ritual of cleaning and fussing with my pipes.... almost to a similar level of how I still miss indulging in them.  
• I mentioned Wordle a while back.  Again, it is a new-to-me game.  But, I noticed today some of my "statistics"..... I have now played 42 times.  I have succeeded in getting the word correct 93% of the time (the first few days, I did not know what the hell I was doing).  And, as of today, I have a 35 day streak of correctly solving the puzzle.  

Even though I tend to think of "cornucopia" as mostly a "Fall" thing, since my post was about a whole bunch of stuff, the name fits, and so I luckily found a more "Summer" type of cornucopia.  

PipeTobacco

Stuff

 

A few odds and ends of things that have been percolating in my mind:

• My Mother-in-Law tripped and fell on Thursday.  She hit her head on the carpeting at her assisted living space.  She was bruised around the eye and had a small cut.  Policy at the place (happily) necessitated a trip to the Emergency Room to assess and make sure there were no more dangerous issues from the fall (brain bleed, hip fracture, etc).  She received a clean bill of health fortunately.  It was a big relief.  My wife met her at the hospital (the assisted living facility required my MIL take an ambulance).  Unfortunately, the ER was so, so jam packed that my wife did not return home until 3:00am (she went there around 2:00pm).  

• I was able to go to the "Shoppe" on Wednesday, and my friend Jim did show up too, because he knew that was the only time I could go.   It was a very nice feeling that he did come to so we could talk.  BUT, starting NEXT WEEK, I should be able to go at the regular time to the Thursday "Retiree's Cigar Group" so I can talk with EVERYONE.  It should be great, even though probably I will get a fair amount of "ribbing" from the regulars this first week I have been there in a helluva long time. 

• Besides the concert I talked about my wife and I attending during last weekend, I forgot to mention that she and I went to a cheap, "Kid's Matinee" last weekend too.  During the Summer, each week, our Movie-Plex will show an early morning movie of a previous kids movie (the film is usually somewhere between two and 10 years old).  We have gone occasionally when it is either a) a movie we missed originally but wanted to see, or b) a movie we really liked..... and willingly want to watch again on the "big screen".  Both of us (probably me the most,  though) love the "Paddington Bear" series of movies.  Last Sunday, they were showing the 2024 "Paddington in Peru"..... so I was completely on board with going.  The Paddington films always help me feel happier.  I have a print/small poster of one of the color drawings of Paddington from the books hanging in my outer office at the U right next to another small poster image of Don Quixote I also have in that outer office.  

I hope this will be a good weekend!

PipeTobacco

Purge

 

I am feeling a need to purge things, and I need to take advantage of that rare feeling for me.  I could/should purge a lot of unnecessary stuff in my home.  But, I have a tendency to avoid doing so for a) sentimental reasons, b) worry that I may need something I get rid of, or c) that I may get rid of something truly important accidently while purging.

The most recent case was regarding the set-up of my computer.  NO.... I am still "avoiding" the things I need to do to get it fully up to snuff and running.  But, I do have to say I enjoy the cleaner, more tidy feel of my den at the moment.  I purged a lot of books and a LOT of software that I referred to as "Ancient Aliens" (from a weird show on cable television I stumble across once in a while).  In my file cabinet, I had some programs (CDs) for programs that ran on Windows 2000!  

At the moment, there are three other areas that truly deserve a good PURGE...... 1) the garage, 2) a storage room in the basement, and 3) my (and my wife's) bedroom closet.  It would feel very, very good and uplifting to consecutively PURGE those three spaces.  I am hoping if I can maintain this stamina, energy, and courage..... to do some of this PURGING on Saturday.

PipeTobacco  

Laboratory Practical Exam For Students & For Me?

Yesterday was the last Laboratory Practical Exam of my course this semester.  It was composed of 100 questions of anatomical structures of tissues, models, histology, specimens, etc of the human body for systems covered in this second half of the semester. It focused primarily on anatomy of the cardiovascular, vascular, lymphatic, respiratory, digestive, urinary and reproductive architecture.  Students had to sit at a seat in the 25 seat laboratory, and answer their station's 4 questions by writing out the PRECISE anatomical structures shown within a 2 minute time frame.  Then everyone enmasse would move to the next station to their left and answer another 4 questions in a 2 minute time frame.  This continued until each student was able to view each of the 25 stations one time and write out their responses in the 100 line answer sheet I provided to them for this purpose. 

Now, I will grade these exams today.

Tomorrow will be their 100 question, comprehensive Lecture Final Examination from across all subjects we talked about this semester.  

I will hopefully grade the comprehensive final examination on Friday.  

I will likely take my research lab's laptop computer home this weekend so I can "number crunch" with hope of finalizing grades perhaps on Saturday.  I hope to submit final course grades on Monday.

I need to take the research lab's laptop home, because setting up my new computer system is still a work in progress.  I have made SOME progress..... I have cleaned my desk, cleaned much of my den..... spending perhaps more time than necessary tidying up and organizing pouches of pipe tobacco, and dusting off and polishing the pipe racks in there.  The den DOES look wonderfully clean and tidy at the moment.  I also have ALL the components of the new system in place..... I am a little concerned that I still will not LIKE having two seperate monitors (my wife insisted I get them and insists I WILL like them)....... but the two smallest monitors I could get still take up an awful damn lot of real estate on my desk..... and seem.... I do not know how else to describe it.... other than...... "distracting".  The printer is in place, the big computer "box" is in place, the keyboard and mouse are in place.  

BUT.... THREE horrible things remain:

1.  Hooking up all the damn wires to all the gizmos.  I am bound and determined that THIS TIME, I will be very cognizant of trying to the very best of my ability to organize all these damn squiggly, wormy wires into something that looks at least a bit more tidy with ample use of "Zip ties".

2.  Turning ON the beast, and downloading all the damn programs into its guts.... and then adding all the appropriate passwords and other bullsh*t that I likely will have to either a) create, b) remember from before, or c) locate in some book I recorded (some) into long, long ago.... that I hope I can find.

and

3.  What I have also convinced myself I MUST (SHOULD) do..... is to REWRITE each and every damnable password for each and every damable program, Wifi connection, etc into a NEW BOOK and then putting that book somewhere logical.

I am a bit fearful that I will get frustrated as hell at #1 above.... and be in a crabby mood all day.  Or.....I am also a bit fearful that I will get frustrated as hell at #2 above...... and be in a crabby mood all day.  Or..... I will get frustrated as hell at #3 above..... and be in a crabby mood all day.  

If past experiences are any indication of future events, I suspect there is roughly a ~90% chance that one, two, or all three of the preceding paragraph's worries may happen.  That is why I have progressed with the speed of pouring of frozen molasses on the computer situation.  I really am not wanting to feel that almost inevitable frustration.  I believe I will feel I am taking my own form of Laboratory Practical Exam setting up the damn electronica.

PipeTobacco