Slow Progress

The following may be somewhat "unpleasant, too much information" for some.  It is, to an extent for me as well truthfully, but regardless... it is true.  The above disclaimer is to simply guide those who may be somewhat "squeamish".  The "squeamish" part I will try to color the first word of the bullet in RED to allow those of weaker constitution to skip it:

•  My damnable TMJ/Ear situation is GRADUALLY dissipating.  I still FIRMLY believe I would have been helped by, benefited from, and would be fully back up-to-snuff IF I had been prescribed an antibiotic for my red, hot, fluid-filled middle ear.  But, the "Antibiotic Nazi" dictated, "No Antibiotic for You!" (referencing the "Soup Nazi" episode of Seinfeld). 
• Current standing of my pain experience..... My ear pain is down to ~30% of what it was at its peak pain level.   My wisdom tooth pain is down to ~20% of what it was at its peak.  My pain in trying to close my teeth together (to chew food) is ~15% of what it was.
• The above pain decreases have come FROM the near 24-hour a day wearing of my bite splint since visiting the "Antibiotic Nazi".  
• I still feel a STRONGER amount of pain if I try to fully close my teeth together chewing for the length of a whole meal.  And when I have done so (to CHEW FOOD), it exhausts me from the rise in pain.  The pain when chewing food in a meal is down ~50% from its peak.... but, after I chew food, the pain will persist for a good two or three hours after I am done and the pain will radiate up into my ear as well.  
• I have several bite splints currently (I have more than a dozen I have chewed through and have had to discard over the years as well).  There are TWO I primarily use... one for sleeping, and one for daytime use.  
• Potentially TMI:  Because I desperately want this to resolve, and because I also want to CHEW FOOD (I NEED CHEWABLE, HIGH FIBER FOOD) or I get cranky (emotionally) and constipated (physically).  Only having soft, slurpy, low-to-no vegetable type foods just does NOT cut it for me. So.... (warning) I have devised a somewhat "grotesque" plan I have adopted the last few days.  With one of the "other" bite splints I have... not the primary two.... I have taken to WEARING the bite splint WHILE I eat (and CHEW) food.  My reasoning..... the space taken up by the splint on my upper teeth ultimately means I do not have to FULLY CLOSE/FULLY CLENCH and MESH my lower teeth to chew.  I have found the last two days that I can chew most foods reasonably successfully with my bottom teeth grinding the food against the base of this bite splint....... PAIN FREE.  
• Again, potentially TMI: This is NOT the most elegant way to eat.  It is VERY, VERY SLOW going as well.  The most difficult parts are a) it does not do as good of a job in grinding the food for swallowing, so the bolus (technical term for the mouthful of food being prepared to be swallowed) is "chunkier" than I ultimately would like..... BUT, it is REAL, chewable, high fiber food.... salads, high fiber breads, VEGETABLES, etc, and b) it can be rather "sloppy"..... I have learned how to slowly do this and to also be able to FULLY close my lips successfully while chewing with the splint in place.... but all manner of the food does go up and around and within crevices of my bite splint and upper set of teeth.  And, this displaced food is not a simple task to remove or dislodge.  I instinctually DO NOT SMILE, grin, or do any facial expression that will show my teeth while eating in this fashion.
• BUT.... at least in the short term.... it is WORTH IT TO EAT NORMAL FOOD without PAIN.  
• After eating, I have to IMMEDIATELY go to the bathroom/restroom to brush and scrub my teeth and my bite splint.  
• It is my HOPE that by doing this for a few more days, perhaps ALL the swelling, all of the infection (I am convinced I have one of the ear), and all of the pain will more readily dissipate if I do not reaggravate my jaw by trying to chew with pain.  
• I DID go to the Retiree's Cigar Group yesterday.  It was good for my mental/emotional well-being.  Although I was a bit later than desired, I was able to talk with four of my regular friends for the first half hour, and after they left, a few folks remained..... one of the loud talking duo that is semi-regular stayed, a fellow who comes up about once a month from where he lives about 2 hours South stayed, and a NEW regular (I now have acquired some seniority!) who has been coming in for the last 5-6 weeks stayed as well.  It was just, pure, plain, pleasant chatting and socializing.  It felt very good.  
• Thinking about the pipe museum I briefly wrote about (where I saw the pipe carved to look just like a tenor saxophone), it had me remember a pouch of pipe tobacco I had from that place as well.  It is called "Three Brothers" and I spent a bit of time rummaging around to find it this morning.  I opened up the jar (I had jarred it in a small pint Mason jar), and the aroma brought back a lot of beautiful memories.  I even remembered more vividly things I had seen at the pipe museum as well.
• Thinking about the future... my Dad's 103rd Birthday is a bit over a month away.  Maybe I can plan to go to the cemetery on his birthday and perhaps I will have a pipe of Union Leader to be able to taste what that 60+ year old pipe tobacco is like.  Or, maybe I should take the "Three Brothers"?  I do not know.  But.... doing something like this.... does seem a good, safe "special circumstance" opportunity I can probably have.... and now that it came into my mind.... I can begin to contemplate the BEST pipe to have if I do get to participate in this very special indulgence.  

PipeTobacco
  

"Positive"

 

The above painting image is "Autumn Reflection" by Leonid Afremov.  I admire his impressionistic style.  

I am trying in the ways I know how, to work to pull out of my very harsh emotional state.  

Part of what I am trying to do (to accept).... is that for the time being, I will feel discomfort and pain in my jaw/ear region.  I will work to do what I can to alleviate that pain.  I will strive to move as best as I can beyond it, and hope that it will..... sooner rather than later.... dissipate.  

Another part of what I am trying to do is move beyond the emotional hurt.  That is in many ways more difficult.  The best I have determined for me to have a modicum of relief from it is to simply try to "ignore" it as best as I can.

* * * * * 

• So, I forced myself to run, and run hard this morning.  I had not ran for a week due to the pain of my ear and teeth.
• Last night, I put together my Eb Contrabass (aka contra alto) clarinet and played some "Bossa Nova" style music I had been interested in learning.  It has been perhaps 3 months since I last did anything with this song, and at that time, I was working on it with my much smaller alto clarinet and my alto saxophone (both also Eb).  But, I had always thought it would be especially fun to play with my almost six-foot tall contra alto.... and I had not actually played my contra alto at all since I had the beast in for a tune-up this Summer.  [Note, I primarily play my Bass Clarinet (Bb) in the community band.... and that alone usually eats up all available music time I end up having each week.  But, I thought that perhaps taking (forcing) some time into my day to pick up my contra alto, might help my mood.]  In case you cannot picture what a contra alto looks like, I have inserted a photo below:

• I am still following "Antibiotic Nazi" 's suggestions of taking a STRONG antihisamine and an NSAID each evening before bed.  She said to take Motrin, which I did the first evening, even though I worry about Motrin's impact on the kidneys and the liver.  I had probably not had a Motrin in perhaps 15 years, so I had anticipated it would be helpful.  But, it was not particularly so.... so I converted to aspirin, which is safer for the kidneys and liver.... and I already have been taking a low dose aspirin for its anticoagulant properties.  I still think I need an antibiotic for my red, fluid-filled middle ear..... even though the "Antibiotic Nazi" did not concur with my thoughts.
• I picked up and forced myself to start a new novel last night as well.  I thought it could help distract me.  I had finished my prior book perhaps two weeks or so ago,, and when I fell into the torture chamber of ear and jaw pain, I just tried to immediately go to sleep.  It felt nice, working my way into a story.
• I did not go to the Retiree's Cigar Group last week because of my ear and jaw.  This week, I am intending to go regardless.  I want to have the congenial talk with my friends.  
• Most of my wind instruments (other than my soprano clarinet).... my alto clarinet, my bass clarinet, my contra alto clarinet, my alto sax and my tenor sax.... all have the basic shape and design of my full bent tobacco pipes.  I always found that entertaining to my mind.  A long time ago, I was able to visit a pipe museum.... and there they had an actual briar tobacco pipe that was carved and shaped to precisely look like a tenor saxophone.  Way back then when I had gone to that museum, I thought that was one of the coolest things I had seen there by far.  
• Tonight, my wife and I are planning another trip to the U's BIGGEST dorm's cafeteria for dinner.  It is really a pretty amazing place, and it is filled with all sorts of very pleasant choices.  And, not having to do any dishes is always a bonus.  I like the variety, which is typically larger (and healthier if you choose carefully) than a typical restaurant.  
• And, if my wife is able to do so timing wise, we are hoping to swim before going to the cafeteria.

PipeTobacco

Roller Coaster

She knocked very timidly on my office door.  So timidly, I was not really sure if the student had knocked on my door or of the door of my nearby neighbor.  

When I opened the door, she stood there, with an expression that could best be described as a "deer in the headlights" look upon her face.

"Are these your office hours, Dr. Pipe?"

I nod.  Besides talking about my office hours in class the first week, these hours are listed in each classes LMS (the electronic, gizmoey classroom I use for storage of things for them).  They have also been listed in all of my syllabi that students have had in paper and electronic form for the last 6 weeks (the entirety of the semester, thus far).  They also have been my office hours for a Tuesday, for at least the last 15 years if not longer. 

She doesn't say anything.  Time continues to tick,  I hear the ticking of my analog clock on my bookshelf.  It is steady like a metronome.  

"How may I help you?"

She stammers.  "I was hoping to ask you some questions about our exam tomorrow."

"Please come in." I say as I direct her to my student chair, and I sit back in my desk chair.

It takes her several minutes to organize herself, as she is one of the students who is very "gizmo" focused..... she does not do anything on paper, it is all electronic for her, on what appears to be an i-Pad.  

So.... she proceeds to ask me a few questions related to "where" material for the second lecture exam STOPS (I said this in class, just yesterday) because I continued to lecture about OTHER aspects of the Respiratory System yesterday, beyond what was on this new exam.

"Well, do you remember yesterday, when I finished discussing the role of the mucous membranes that line our facial and cranial sinuses..... I said specifically that.... that particular slide was where I was concluding lecture materials for the second exam?"

"Yes. but then you continued." 

I wanted to roll my eyes, but kept from doing so.  "Yes, the slide of the mucous membranes I showed, was only the second slide I showed in class...... just five minutes after class started.  I needed to continue on with lecturing for the remaining ~85 minutes of class.... and I said right at slide three.... 'This is where I am beginning materials for the third lecture exam.' "

Some students are extremely pedantic.... they cannot grapple with trying to see the forest as they are so focused on the trees. I suspected this student represented such a case.

Eventually, she did get down to asking me some questions..... per se... mostly she was referencing aspects of a review sheet I provide, and asking me "what I meant" when I listed a topic in my review sheet.

"In the review sheet, you say to know 'roles of the immunoglobulins in the development of the five hypersensitivities associated with our immune responses'.  What do you mean by that?" 

Gritting my already sore teeth, I waited a beat, relaxed my jaw, and said, "Well, more importantly, what do YOU think I am alluding to with that statement?"

She then proceeded to read back to me, nearly verbatim, my lecture about allergens and hypersensitivities.  She has "accommodations" to record my lectures. Apparently, she works to write them down word-for-word like a scribe.  

"Ok.... what you have stated is all GOOD information.  What you have read to me is ACCURATE.  But, what I want you to tell me is..... 'What does it mean, and why is it important?' " 

The deer-in-the-headlight look appeared again on her face.  She sat there, and it probably took her a full minute to have her wrap her head around my question and to try to figure out a response.

She stammered.... and then went to read a subsection of what she had read to me before from her notes.

"No, do not read to me again, a section of your notes.  Please tell me in your own words, WHY this concept of hypersensitivies is important."

I let that sit for a long, rather overly pregnant pause.  She is "lost" in her thoughts.

"Ok, how about this...." I state, "you are hoping to someday become a nurse, is that right?"

She nods.

"All right.  Tell me two reasons WHY knowing and understanding hypersensitivies of the immune responses is IMPORTANT for you as a potential, future nurse."

It was very much like pulling teeth (which part of me wishes I could do to myself).

But, she slowly worked through several of her "questions" over various topics in the last several lectures..... which.... each time, I reflected back onto her... to have her explain to me what the concepts she could recite.....  MEANT and WHY they were important.  

She was getting more stressed, even though she clearly knew (memorized) nearly everything I stated in class.  I tried to be encouraging to her every time I guided her to explain the "why" of a concept.  

Eventually, her stress hormones got the best of her and she began to cry.  

That was NOT what I was hoping for.  

I then tried to give her a bit of a "pep talk".

"You clearly have knowledge of the DETAILS we talked about in class.  But, if you recall, in our third lecture of the semester, I showed you a slide about a teaching and learning concept called "Bloom's Taxonomy."  Do you remember that slide?"

She nodded.

"Your knowledge of the DETAILS is an important part of learning, but it is in most regards, basically memorization.  I am striving, to the best of my ability, to get YOU and YOUR CLASSMATES to see science MORE DEEPLY, in a MORE NUANCED fashion.... where you can learn to apply those details to facets of your future career and also to everyday life.  I am trying to help you see science in an analytical fashion.... where the DETAILS you learn will serve you in your future career to help you see and diagnosis what a patient may need."

Eventually, she was calm enough that she could go back to her dorm to study or who knows what else.  

* * * * *

Am I any different than this student?  I have been weeping and cursing at my lot.  My jaw still feels like hell.  My ear feels as if it is sitting in molten lead. I go from wanting to quit it all one moment.  Wanting to say to hell with it the next moment, wanting to run away the next, and then I have a moment of clarity and of peace, and I feel less horrible.  

Until whatever the hell this is.... begins to go away.... I have to better manage this.  I need to realize and accept that it tends to affect me the hardest.... and it hurts to damn most.... in the morning when I wake up.  It has nothing related to snoring or apnea, as I have asked my wife to monitor if I have been snoring or showing any signs of apnea (negative).  So, I guess what I need to do tomorrow..... is to NOT lay in bed longer than usual, and to get up and FORCE my hurting, tired, angry body to go on a damn run.  I have not ran the last few days due to all this sh*tty pain.  But, maybe, if I force myself back into my routine, maybe I can force myself back into a less horrible place physically, mentally, and emotionally?  

I am so, so very tired of trying to pick myself up by my bootstraps.  I am so damn tired of hurting.  I am so damn filled with chaos in my mind.... I love my one kid.... but at the same time I am SO, SO, SO, HURT and also SO, SO, SO VERY ANGRY at that kid.  It ADDS to the physical torment of my jaw and ear ailments.  

Folks asked yesterday about why I do not visit our "Family Doctor".  I am not sure about elsewhere, but around these parts, there is a "shortage" (cough,shortage my posterior) of clinicians.  Our prior family doctor retired.... and his practice was taken over by a nurse practitioner.  She is not really a whole lot of help.... and tends towards the same "Antibiotic Nazi" approach to things as the Physician's Assistant I unfortunately had at the Redi-Med.  And, GETTING an appointment to see our beloved "Family Clinician" (aka the nurse practioner)..... usually requires a several day wait..... so I have been going to the Redi-Med.... hoping I may be lucky and get the kinder Physician's Assistant, instead of the "Antibiotic Nazi" I had the other day.

PipeTobacco

  

 

Brief

 

I realize I am not know for brevity.... but I will try my best:

• by last Tuesday, my TMJ had flared so very badly that I was in such pain, that I think "agony" would be an appropriate term. My entire jaw, ear, joint, and impacted wisdom tooth on that side of my face was swollen, inflamed, hot-to-the-touch, and extremely painful. My ear felt like it was on fire.  I lavaged my ear canal with a mixture of warm water and a bit of hydrogen peroxide.... because I have sometimes had relief in doing so by flushing out a built up earwax plug.  But, even though I squirted and squirted a lot of fluid into the canal.... not a speck of ear wax was removed this time.  Apparently my ear canal was clean.  
• I then called the dentist and feared for the worst.  He was not able to get me in until late Wednesday afternoon.  I kept just pushing on, doing my regular crap.
• My fears were VARIED....... ranging from a) that I fully destroyed my TMJ joint on that side of my mandible, or b) my dormant, fully impacted, fully gum covered sideways pointing wisdom tooth decided to awaken and push against my other teeth or worse.... tried to erupt in my hinge space, or c) things even worse that I was imagining and not going to describe here.
• Since Monday, the SWELLING of that side was so significant, that I could not CLOSE/CLENCH my teeth together.  The best I could do was get the teeth on that side (my right side) about 3/4 of a centimeter apart from touching before the pain was BEYOND agony.  And, my lower mandible was especially swollen that it pushed my whole right side jawline forward.  The entire hinge area of the right side of my mouth was greatly swollen. My whole side of my face was so sore and hot, and my ear was so painful. 
• At Wednesday's dentist appointment, he took X-rays, saw NO sign of any disruption of my wisdom tooth, nor any aberration of nearby tissues, nor any decline in my TM joint itself... all appeared fine. THIS WAS A RELIEF, but also perplexing.  And, when he had me performTMJ  "bite tests"..... basically, he would put his fingers in various locations in my mouth and ask me to bite.... and report degree of pain..... not a damn one of the classic TMJ pain pressure points would hurt at all!  NOTHING.
• This confused the dentist, and he suggested, as he could see the swelling, could feel the "heat" of the inflammation along my mandible.... that what I needed to do, was wear my bite guard 24/7 for a few days (I had already been doing this for a week).... and only eat soft foods (which I had began to do Tuesday, as it was too damn painful to even try to chew ANYTHING..... and I was not successful at any of it because I could not close my teeth together anyway. 
• There wasn't a damn thing I could do, but take the damn advice.  I hated eating all the soft things..... I did not have any vegetables to speak of, did not have any salad, did not have any popcorn, did not have tacos, burritos, or taco salad....... I had pureed soup, sloppy-soft macaroni and cheese,  refried beans from the can (fat-free).  
• The above is what I ate basically for several days, with damn near no fiber.  This got be very constipated again which was another pain.
• Still through all of this I did my damn work, even though I was perpetually exhausted from the pain.  I was continually in pain.  I gave up on running Wednesday, as the jostling up and down felt painful on my mouth and ear.
• By the time Friday rolled around, it was still horrible, and I went to the Redi-Med, thinking..... now that tried what the dentist advised to no avail.... that perhaps I had a middle ear infection that was acting a bit differently.  
• My ear hurt like hell all week.  I told the dentist that, but I guess he doesn't concern himself with ears.  But, when I have a TMJ flare up.... it usually DOES make my ear hurt like hell.  But, when I USUALLY have an ear infection, I tend to also have a sore throat.... I didn't really suspect my ear as the culprit with all the symptoms going on along the side of my face.  
• So on Saturday, after helping at one of my wife's events, I went to the Redi-Med.  Unfortunately, I played "Russian Roulette" at the registration desk there.... and ended up getting the Physician's Assistant that I "kindly" label the "Antibiotic Nazi" (after the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld).  This PA is NOTORIOUS for NEVER PRESCRIBING ANY ANTIBIOTICS to ANYONE who gets her. 
• She looked in my ear.... and said it definitely had "water" behind the eardrum and was a bit "red" but that she "didn't think it warranted an antibiotic".  In my mind, I went through, rather rapid fire, some of the most vehement curse words I could think of.... words and phrases so harsh, I probably should go to confession just for thinking them.  Then she "prescribed" her nothing mix of bullsh*t over-the-counter allergy crap that she always suggests.
• So, I am back at work again today.  When I finally figured out I had an ear infection, I began the one "treatment" I know of that can help (somewhat).... I would put isopropyl alcohol in my ear canal and let it sit there ~10 minutes, before letting it drain out.  It can, somewhat isotonically help draw water from the middle ear through the tympmpanic membrane to alleviate the pain of the fluid pressure.  
• So, it is still difficult, but the pressure is less, and it seems like the swelling is a bit less.  
• My next step, if it does not resolve is to travel across town to a different Redi-Med in hopes that there is a more normal clinician there who, when they see the signs of an EAR INFECTION, will prescribe the appropriate antibiotics.  But, there is also the possibility,that after all this time (it is now over a week total), that my immune responses have developed enough of a primary response that it may start to resolve.  
• But, it angers me so much that a simple antibiotic to resolve my ear infection was not given.  
• And, I am SO DAMN HUNGRY and WANT TO EAT FOOD I CAN CHEW.

PipeTobacco

Wretched

 

It was not a great weekend.  Unfortunately, the difficulties were related to that which I no longer talk about here.  So, not much of an ability to write about it.  But, I will write "around" it a bit below:

1.  As the weekend approached, I knew what to expect.  Unfortunately because I knew, it dramatically increased my stress hormones beyond what even running would help dissipate.  

2.  This may be "too much information" so skip if squeamish.... but a very TYPICAL physiological response for me when I get such levels of stress and anxiety is to become utterly constipated.  I even took one laxative tablet to try to help facilitate matters on Saturday. 

3.  I had no movement in that real since last Wednesday evening..... which is atypical in normal circumstances, but also very typical in high stress and anxiety circumstances.  

4.  By the time things started to return back to a "normal" which was late afternoon on Sunday (yesterday), I was so utterly exhausted and so rife with painful TMJ, that I did not end up doing much that evening.  Before we settled down to try to relax for the evening, my wife and I did go swimming, which was..... BY FAR.... the best thing that happened since Thursday.

5.  I went to bed last evening, and slept fitfully (atypical for me).  I ended up having a horrendous nightmare (topic not to be talked about)... and awoke ~2:30am angry as hell.  

6.  I had terrible difficult trying to get back to sleep, but eventually did sleep a bit more until the alarm jangled me away at ~5:15am.  

7.  I was still very angry.  My body ached.  My mind ached.  My TMJ ached.  

8.  I forced myself to run outside (and it was cold, only 36 degrees F (~2 C)).  

9.  Upon my return, I sat down with my wife.  We discussed more of the weekend.  I explained (vehemently) that I needed some form of ultimatum. I cannot live in this fashion anymore.  There is a need (requirement) for some actual ADULT behavior, without which, I cannot put up with things any more.  My thoughts are that forcing ADULT behavior will not FIX things.... but it will make things a "tolerable terrible" if you understand my meaning.  It is doubtful things will ever be considered "good" but, "tolerable terrible" is a whole helluva lot better than the current state of affairs. 

10.  My wife actually agreed.  We will see what, if anything transpires.

Then I went to work, and have worked myself into exhaustion until I sat down a few minutes ago to write this out as best as I could.

That is all for today.

PipeTobacco

Just Stuff

Feeling a bit out of sorts, I guess. Some varied thoughts:

• My wife has gone out of town today.  So, I am a "bachelor" today I guess.  Ho-hum.  I feel rather lonely, I guess.
• I have caught up on ALL of my grading, and have also posted exam scores for all the ~250 kid's first exams that they had earlier in the week.  Many had nice scores.... but some had wretched scores.... as per normal.  Next week's Office Hours will likely be a nightmare of several students in tears.  
• I was absolutely correct about our Internet/Cable/Phone provider..... the damnable crushing, removal, and replacement of the square of sidewalk (which seemed typical and fine to me) severed our line.  The provider now has a TEMPORARY line laying across our yard and our neighbor's yard that was piggy-backed from our neighbor's service.  They just let it lay there.... and our neighbor has a lawn service.... which has me worried the lawn service would run over it with a mower, severing it again.  I ended up placing marker flags all along the line laying upon the ground to try to have folks see it was there.  
• Sometime in the next THREE WEEKS, the provider will come out and dig a new trench for putting the wire underground.  Very fortunately, we do not need to be at home for this to happen.  
• My wife's schedule yesterday, ended up permitting her to be home for the provider.... and she thereby allowed me to go to the Retiree's Cigar Group.  It was a day of very heavy rain (many parts of the day had downpours).... and so only ~1/2 the crew was there.... but it was GREAT being able to talk, chat, and joke with the fellows who did venture out.  
• I had a "Brickhouse 6x60 Maduro".  It was reasonably pleasant.
• A while ago an adjunct instructor in our Department took home one of my fruit fly vials so she could hide it for a week in her outdoor compost bin (filled with fruit flies).   Over the decades, I have occasionally collected myself, or asked folks who have some fruitfly situation (a compost bin, or an apple orchard with decaying fruit) to take a vial to allow the fruit flies to lay eggs in them for me.  This provides me with a locally caught strain of "wild" fruit flies I can and do use in some of the research projects I conduct with the undergraduates.  While I purchase strains that are inbred control, and inbred genetic variants for use in these research projects as well.... it is nice to have a variety of "wild" beasts as well.  I have had two of the several strains of the "wild" beasts now going in my lab for over 10 years each.  The several "wild" strains I have harken from all around a three county area, and each has their own interesting proclivities.  I name them based on location so I know which is which as they continue to breed.
• I had a Zoom meeting yesterday evening with my two new, student research assistants.  These two are going to help me corral in and organize the array of my other research students and help me keep track of how all the research groups are progressing.
• I still keep thinking about the Union Leader pipe tobacco I found of my Dad's.  The 60+ year old leaf has me both intrigued and trepidatious at the same time.  I keep thinking about how it may be a tremendous disappointment since my Dad did not seemingly like it very much (by the fact he did not consume it himself over the many, many years he had it).  
• But, then again, I keep thinking.... that MAY NOT be my impression.... my Dad tended to stick to the two pipe tobaccos he preferred (Sir Walter Raleigh - Non Aromatic, and Prince Albert - Non-Aromatic).... and very, very rarely strayed from them.  He had only a very modest collection of a few loose pipe tobaccos from a tobacco shop most of the time.
• While I am quite a bit like my Dad, in that I had a tremendous fondness for just the same two pipe tobaccos he also preferred (see above)..... and a sizable majority of my consumption was of those two varieties.... I was more willing to adventure and sample most any pipe tobacco I would stumble across in my various visits to shops.  I have a great number of pouches and tins of other variations of pipe tobaccos in my desk drawers and canisters of my pipe racks.  
• As I think I mentioned a while ago.... I would very typically "parfait" my pipes when I would venture beyond  SWR and PA.  Parfait, means to have one pipe tobacco as the majority base (for me it would typically be SWR or PA), and then I would have a smaller amount (~20-25%) of the bowl, be of a different blend.  
• I always liked plain, full bowls of SWR and PA.... no question about it.  But, the "parfaits" were the more common way I would sample the other blends, as (to me) the mixture of the new type of pipe tobacco was often akin to a new "seasoning" of the beloved SWR or PA.  On those occasions where I would have a full bowl of the "other" blends.... they would be interesting, sometimes quite pleasant.... but they lacked to some degree.... the FULL breadth and depth of experience that I would have when there was also SWR or PA in the mix.  
• So, what I am considering.... is when/if I may figure a suitable "safe" special opportunity in the future to actually sample the Union Leader pipe tobacco... I will likely do so as a "parfait".  And, I am thinking.... just the fact that it was my Dad's, will give me enjoyment from it.
• I do very much look forward to finding/figuring out another "safe" opportunity to enjoy a pipe.  It is never an easy task to find, however.  If my willpower were stronger, perhaps it would be a lot easier to find.
• I need to figure out how to fill the rest of the day and evening.  Again, it is dull and boring without my wife.
  

PipeTobacco 

Cable & Poetry Prattle

After running yesterday morning, while cleaning up and dressing for the U, I noticed a battalion of workers with a myriad of rolling tools, gauges, and a plethora of vehicles all milling about the sidewalks in our neighborhood.  I drove off to the U wondering what was going to happen, but didn't give it much thought overall.  

When I returned home in the very late afternoon yesterday, I saw that throughout the neighborhood, various blocks and sections of sidewalk had been crushed and dug up, and new cement squares poured in various locations across the entirety of the block.  Our home had two sidewalk squares replaced.  I have no idea why, as neither was cracked nor in disrepair.  But, again, I thought nothing much of it.... I figured it was some city and/or township initiative.  

My wife and I prepared our dinner together.  It was "Taco Tuesday"..... with my usual array of "taco salad bigger than my head" , two burritos, two tostadas, and one "Mexican Pizza" which was a baked corn tortilla with light cheese and vegetables on it... baked in the oven.  My wife had decided to procure her food this day from a take-out restaurant.... instead of fixing her usual..... because she was especially tired.   I declined the offer to bring me take-out too.....  and instead made my own versions.... to decrease fat and calorie levels to a better level for me..... and more importantly.... to allow me to increase the VOLUME to calorie ratio...  to fill me up.

We had decided yesterday, while fixing our plates.... since it was rather late in the day... that we would forgo eating at the dinner table as we were both rather tired... and instead would eat on the couch and watch television together.  

It was only then, when we were comfortably situated on the couch, our delectables in front of us..... that we discovered, when we tried to turn on the television...... that our cable...... and our Internet.... and our phone were all INOPERATIVE.  

I cussed up a storm under my breath.  I already had my SUSPICIONS.  But, my wife coaxed me into the "typical" protocol... of calling the service provider's 800 number and reporting the problem and seeking their guidance.  The service provider is annoying in that it has a very, very elaborate, robotic telephone queueing system, which took me about 15 minutes before I could get away from the computer generated voice asking me question upon question...... and my zillion time repeated plea of "Customer Service Representative" was finally acknowledged.... and I was placed into their "holding" queue.  Then the on-hold voice proclaimed "We are experiencing larger than normal call volumes, your wait time may be longer than desired."   But, I had been through this before.... that is always the line.  Sometimes a real person comes on in 5 minutes, sometimes 15.  

Last night, unfortunately, it was ~45 minutes of waiting.  I was mostly aggravated by having to hear the "elevator music" in their hold system.... and was further aggravated by the service provider inserting an ad for other parts of their services every minute or so.  

Eventually, I got to a fellow named "Michael" (who actually had what sounded like a very heavy Indian accent) and he did a whole bunch of things to try to re-establish our service.  All, to no avail, as I presumed.  He then proceeded to offer a repair appointment.  This appointment will occur Thursday (tomorrow).  My wife and I both have to figure out how to handle the 4 hour window we are supposed to be home to wait for them to show up.  It may need to be me, and this will mean no Retiree's Cigar Group which immediately made me feel more sad and aggravated.  My wife is looking into her schedule, so perhaps I will be lucky and she can be here for some or all of it instead.... but I do not know yet.  

SO.....

What I damn well expect has happened..... what my suspicions are..... is that the damnable sidewalk crew, when they bashed and dug out the concrete squares they were going to replace...... very likely severed or at least damaged the underground wiring of our service provider..... the wiring of our service provider DID happen to run from the road directly under one of the replaced concrete squares to get into our property.

So, we were both aggravated and have no services of that sort at all until at least sometime Thursday.  After eating, because I was still keyed up from the aggravation of the evening, after my wife went to bed, since I could not read my Kindle, and actually reading a book did not sound enjoyable in my "keyed up" state.... I went to my office.... and sans computer (no internet), took another stab at trying to do something that is sort of like poetry.  I based the poem on my thoughts from yesterday's post about the beautiful memories of when I used to ride home in my truck in the evenings with a pipe.  It actually became more about the "getting to my truck" stage, I guess:

Start of the Evening

The office dims as autumn twilight falls,

surrounded by the weight of heavy  books.

An old professor returns from campus halls,

to seek the quiet of his hidden nooks.

He strikes a match, a sudden amber spark,

chases shadows throughout the quiet room.

He ignites the leaf as he prepares to embark,

The bowl’s ember aglow, has banished the gloom

Swirling smoke ascends in gentle rings,

Akin to ideas drifting throughout the air.

A sweet and gentle release from what the daytime brings,

and heavy burdens slip beyond his care.

With pipe in hand, the world begins to slow,

he is content to watch the ember softly glow.

PipeTobacco