Ornery

Ornery is an adjective that describes someone who is bad-tempered, irritable, stubborn, or difficult to deal with. It is an informal, colloquial term mostly used in American English to depict a grumpy or contrary disposition.

I feel ornery this morning. Yes, I do.

• The AQI in my area is still, again, in the 400s (hazardous)... like yesterday.
• This AQI level makes it unsafe to run outdoors.  Theoretically it would be safer to run indoors but that is not possible with the continuing HVAC issues.
• I feel ornery from not having exercised.  
• I feel ornery because the pool has also been closed because of the AQI/HVAC situation.
• The pool has become a sort of "therapy" for me to at least end the day and transition into a calming, restful evening.  I have even (during this Summer) also indulged in a quick swim in the morning on days when I have ran on the track indoors.  
• Even though I likely made the right decision, I feel ornery that I did not go to the Retiree's Cigar Group yesterday.  It may be stupid, but that weekly excursion is damn important to me.  

I tend to be rather odor sensitive.  I either appreciate an odor (delicious foods, pipe tobaccos, flowers, etc.) or I greatly dislike an odor (grease, frying, etc.).  But, this wildfire smoke is so odd.... at a brief surface level it has a bit of the odor of a campfire.... which is relatively fine, but there are other odor components in this wildfire smoke too... which gnaw at my mind and I dislike.  And, obviously.... with the AQI in the 400s.... where it is at.... it is not good to be within..... but there damn well little we can do to be outside of it.  

• I feel ornery because the U buildings are not running their air conditioning as much as they should.  It is much warmer than their typical air conditioning, and that is further abundantly apparent in the considerable "smoky" texture to the air in the buildings compared to other buildings (such as stores) I have been in the last couple of days.
• I feel ornery because I do not feel like doing a damn thing.  Part of this may be from lack of exercise, part of it may be my mood, and part of it may be the possible impact of the bad air generally, I guess too.  

So, what to do?  Well, I came here specifically to gripe about my damnable "woe-is-me" feelings.... to try to put them down somewhere, so I could then try to leave them here.... and move on to trying to figure out how to do something more productive and valuable.  I hope it works, and my day improves.

PipeTobacco

Hazardous

 

Since yesterday afternoon.... probably through at least the end of the day on Friday..... the Air Quality Index in my region has moved into the HAZARDOUS zone.  This is due to the Canadian and Northern Minnesota Wildfires that are raging.   This has been an occurrence every Summer for the last three years, and it thought to be an associated effect due to global warming.  By the way, the image above was just an Internet image.  Our region is currently experiencing an AQI of 427.

It is truly dystopian outside.  The sky is sickly orange-brown color.  The odor has a bit of an aspect of a campfire.... but you can smell and taste other components as well.  The air feels thick.  The particulates themselves give the appearance of a deep fog.  While driving, visibility is down to much less than 1/4 mile OR less (~0.5km OR less).  

We are also in the midst of a heat wave.  It has been near, at, or above 100 degrees F (~38 C) for several days.  

Many folks (especially the elderly and those with chronic illnesses) are in dire shape in my region.  If they do not have air conditioning, they are taxed by the sweltering heat (with extremely high humidity so no evaporative cooling effect of sweating).   They further are likely to have their windows open (advisories urge folks to keep their windows closed due to the air quality).  

For folks who have air conditioning, it is still also a bit of a mixed bag.  Many older systems will chill the air, but do limited... if any... FILTERING of the air.  And, even in newer systems with filtration.... the real ability of the filters to filter out these extremely small particulates is suspect at best.  I can say that at home (with our ~10 year old a/c system) and at the few stores I have been too with a/c that the ODOR is considerably lower in our house and in these stores.... compared with outside.  Whether that is associated with any appreciable decrease in these microparticles is anyone's guess at the moment. 

My original game plan this morning, was to go to the gym and run on the treadmill, lift some, and then swim in the pool a bit to cool down afterwards.  I would not/could not have ran outside today.

But, the gym was having HVAC issues and closed the pool and running facilities until at least mid-afternoon because they were drawing into the buildings..... the smoky, outside air.  So, no running for me today.

I am at the U at the moment, but my building (old) is having challenges as well.  It feels as if the a/c is failing and the wildfire atmosphere permeates every room I have been in thus far.  I think I am going to quickly do the photocopying and sorting I had planned, and then head home to work from inside our house.  

Even though I really want to attend the Retiree's Cigar Group.... I do not think it is advised today, so unless something convinces me otherwise, I am not going to attend.  I am wondering how many folks WILL actually show up there today.... it could be very small.  

PipeTobacco 

Find & Seek

 

Odds and ends of various thoughts today:

• It is going to be 101 degrees (~38 C) here today again (yesterday we hit 103 F (~ 39.5 C).  
• Because I am trying hard today to get a lot of prep work done for Fall (syllabi, LMS organization, those sorts of things), I decided to bite the bullet and NOT travel to the indoor track to run today but instead ran outdoors.  
• It was already 80 degrees (~27 C) when I hit the trail at 5:40am.  But, I got the run in.... and was sweaty as hell.... I was soaked completely socks, shorts and shirt (I did wear a shirt this morning, even though I should have "Sasquatched" instead).
• Unfortunately, there are new Canadian Forest Fires happening... and the smoke is going to cause really horrible air quality again in my region.  But, we still had a small bubble of green (good air) on our map this morning, so that also was part of the impetus to run outside while we still had good air..... before it became significantly worse this later morning and afternoon.  
• I have a goal of getting 5 syllabi and at least 3 LMS sites up-to-snuff today.  
• I am not sure if I mentioned that I was asked to become part of the Parish Council at our new parish.  In the nomination process, which was a period of a few weeks across both masses, folks were asked to nominate people they felt would be good for Parish Council openings (there were three) and to give those names to the ushers. Apparently (according to Father) NINE people nominated me which greatly surprised me.  My wife and I are rather new to this parish as you know (roughly 3 years now), and neither my wife nor I put our names into the nomination... in fact, we did not put anyone in at all.... thinking we were too new to make appropriate suggestions.  
• When Father called me and asked me to meet with him a few weeks ago to discuss my possibly joining Parish Council, I did so, and even though I was not really sure if I should, he convinced me that I should join the Council.  Even though I am not sure if I want to do this..... I do feel it is important to be of service.... and so I will try to do my best as I was asked.  
• The first meeting of the Parish Council for the new Parish "book-keeping" year is in August, but the current Parish Council President called me (and the two other new people) to meet together ahead of time. I had this meeting last night.  She basically gave us an overview of the history of our Parish, and discussed/described the various different Parish Council groups that have occurred during the recent past 20 years or so. She also talked about how "bylaws" of the Council are "very new and different" this year from their past, as they have had to adopt a basic Diocesan developed framework of "bylaws" which were substantially different than their prior bylaws.  
• I did not say much at this meeting, but Father had given me a copy of these bylaws when we had met a few weeks before because I asked if they were available.  When I had glanced through them with Father, they were very (VERY) similar to the bylaws of the Parish Council at my prior parish (that had closed),  
• Yesterday, while working some more on cleaning the garage, I happened to pull down a large box that was very dusty, high up on the top storage shelf near the ceiling of the garage.  I was delighted to find the box contained ~20 one-pound Prince Albert Pipe Tobacco canisters (unfortunately empty - HA!) that I had stored away in the box.  It was a great find.... I had thought I had thrown them out in a prior cleaning "frenzy" quite a while ago.  
• In my garage, I have a large number of these pipe tobacco tubs from across the years.  And I have them as an important part of my storage system in the garage.  Various nails, bolts, and all sorts of other odd-and-ends conviently get stored in my old pipe tobacco canisters.  Most of the ones I have actively storing things in are either Sir Walter Raleigh or Prince Albert canisters... and a couple of Granger cans...., but I do also have one Velvet can and one Half-and-Half can.... even though those two (Velvet nor Half-and-Half) were NEVER favorites of mine.
• But, finding the box of a bunch of empty Prince Albert tubs was great luck, as I have a lot of other odds and ends to store, and they will be perfect for this.  

I really had better get back to working on the fussy syllabi, or I will never get them done.  

PipeTobacco

Gritty

Since I last wrote, it was not the best of times.  Things were wonderful last week, up and through Thursday's Retiree's Cigar Group.  But, after that concluded, things went into the proverbial toilet.  The very little I can report is that there was an extended period of discussion with the person I no longer write about here who purposefully wanted the visit to be about “discussing” things.  I was able to (calmly and with precise wording and considerable tears on my part) explain about 85% of my thoughts over the course of the three day visit.  These thoughts were able to be received by the individual's auditory collecting equipment, but whether these thoughts will be examined, thought about or considered in any real sense, remains to be seen.

This may not be the appropriate venue to discuss this, but I will do so briefly.....

When I am under a significant amount of emotional stress..... I become extremely constipated.  This is not something new.  I can remember this occurring as early as junior high school.  I have done as many things as I can think of to remedy this situation..... a) I further increased my already very, VERY high fiber diet, b) I increased my already very, VERY high fluid intake, c) I increased my running miles today, and d) since the immediate stresses of the weekend have now dissipated back into a more distant, nebulous state, I have tried to enact relaxing thoughts through my body while praying the rosary today during my run, and also since then.  

I am HOPING and anticipating potential relief hopefully by sometime this evening.

* * * * *

I forgot if I mentioned that I was able to take my bass clarinet and my contra alto clarinet in to each get a bit of a tune-up for Fall.  I did that prior to going to the Retiree's Cigar Group.  I will look forward to their return and their respective “tune up” which this technician does a great job of after a year of intensive playing.  This is the second time I have taken the bass clarinet in and the first for the contra alto.  I look forward to their being “up to snuff”.  I also found a place that makes FDA food grade 3-D printed replicas of the standard issue contra alto mouthpiece (used ones are HARD to find, and new ones of a different manufacturer can cost ~$500.00 which is too rich for me for a used, “junked” cast-off contra alto that I bought for considerably less than $500 that I fixed up myself (BTW, new contra alto clarinets hover around a starting price of ~20 - 25 thousand dollars….. something I would never spend.  I very much like my rejuvenated “junker” that I searched for over 5 years to find.  The same was/is true of my (former “junkyard”) bass clarinet that I refurbished and have played for ~30 years now.  

* * * * * 

It is a long shot, I know..... but might anyone here be able to give advice to the following question I have:

Do you know of a good book (or potentially some other media, but as an old guy, I truly tend to learn more easily from books) that would help me to:

Better understand how to creatively use chord notations that are typically written above lead sheets of music?  

"Lead Sheets" is a term given to music that focuses on (if for example, playing the piano) the song's melody (using the right hand on the piano).... but it gives chord symbols above the staff.  Sometimes these forms are music are compiled into what are called "Fake Books" as well.  

Even though I know I should try to just play more regular piano music (with both treble clef and bass clef staffs), lead sheets are by far easier for me to simply sight read.  

BUT... I am extremely CLUNKY with chords.  I do not know how to do much with chords beyond very dull full chords.  When I do my typical "whole note or half note" full chords to a lead sheet..... it sounds extremely amateurish and not really particularly enjoyable.  But.... have have HEARD folks using Lead Sheets with only chords atop, who can magically make their chords SING in ways that fit in perfectly as creative harmony for the actual melody.  

At one time, I thought ARPEGIOS were the answer on how to use the chord symbols have some musicality...... but.... either a) I do not understand enough how to use or understand arpegios..... or b) they do not actually work well to improve that improvised left hand playing. 

So, that is the question I pose today.  I wish I could figure it out.  I think it would make playing accompaniment so much more positive. 

* * * * *

After the stressful dialogues finished Sunday afternoon, my wife and I went to an evening concert in the park.  It was delightful, and I had hoped that it would help with my gastro-intestinal malaise... but it did not.  And, after not having any dreams I could recall in the last several days, I had a beautiful pipe dream last night.  It is interesting to me, how I so frequently have beautiful, longing-inducing dreams and/or memory dreams about my pipes and pipe tobaccos.... but I do NOT have any similar cigar related dreams.  I did, if I recall correctly, have at least one dream about going to meet the guys of the Retiree's Cigar Group, but the cigar itself, has never been a focal player in the dream.  

PipeTobacco

Sasquatch Mode

 

As I wrote about a while ago, I have been running mostly on the treadmill or at the indoor track for the lion's share of the time since last October because I have felt nervous and ill at ease about the possibility of tripping and falling while running.  As you know, over the years, I have typically tripped and fell.... usually once a year..... every year I have been running.  Usually, it results in a very badly scrapped up knee and elbow, but once a couple of years ago I hit my face as well, and required a few stitches and a CAT scan (to make sure I did not have any broken bones near my eye socket.... I did not).

But, I missed running outside.  It is beautiful (when I do not trip and fall) and in the early morning sunrise it is great to see a lot of wildlife and beauty in nature.  

Over the past several weeks, I began a consistent effort to try to do what I can to decrease the potential to trip and fall.  I have been routinely (usually 6 days a week) purposefully using a "BOSU" ball to try to improve the responses of my reflex arcs associated with my lower legs and spinal cord.  I do feel it has been helpful.

Of course, there are situations where a fall could still happen..... the big case in point was last year's trip and fall that was a result of my running on a beautiful, newly surfaced road.... but there was ONE, DAMNABLE, TARRED OVER ROCK that was glued by the tar (and disguised by the tar) to the surface of the roadway, and the toe of my shoe (of course) clipped that damn rock, and I fell over, scrapping my knee and elbow quite badly.  It was this actual fall that has made me rather gunshy about running outdoors. 

But.... I felt confident enough (foolish enough?) this morning to try running outside again.  And, because it was ALREADY an extremely humid 75 degrees F (~24 C) this morning at 5:00am, I also went "Sasquatch Mode" (no shirt, just shorts, socks and shoes).   

I have to admit it was a bit nerve-wracking and I was spending a lot of the time scanning the pathway's surfaces.  But, I also saw the early morning sun begin to peak out of the clouds, I saw two different ladies with their fluffy dogs (and I did not scare either of them away), and ran by a few squirrels, bunnies, and saw one deer.  

As I prayed the rosary while running, I also thought a bit about and decided I am going to try to write out some ideas over the next few days relating to my thoughts/worries/fears about a potential retirement in terms of my purpose in life, my motivation in life, and my goals in life. Broadly, I feel considerable guilt, anxiety, fear..... and also at the same time... ambivalence, a lack of energy, and a lot of ambiguity about purpose, motivation and goals.  It is rather confusing to me, and perhaps if I write it out here, it will potentially help me find some clarity.

I will be going to the Retiree's Cigar Group this afternoon.  And, after last Thursday's hearty welcoming back by the guys, I am looking forward to it again.  It is just nice to have a place to go and have friends (beyond family and work).  

En route to the Retiree's Cigar Group is a musical store that has a good repair person.  I am also going to drop off my bass clarinet and also my contra-alto clarinet off to him so each may get a bit of a tune-up.  It will likely take a few weeks, but he does a very nice job.  

Sincerely,

PipeTobacco

Retirement Things

• 
  
   
• Yesterday, my wife and I went down, about 90 minutes away, to a U Financial Planner who is a specialist in helping faculty plan retirement.  You may recall my wife and I have been visiting with (every six months or so for a while…. and this would be on the U campus)  the U Financial Planner who is a "generalist" for all faculty, regardless of age, and we saw that fellow perhaps two months ago.  It was he who suggested we may want to also start meeting with the U Financial Planner who specializes in helping faculty figure out how/when to retire, and this specialist helps figure out more firm financial "numbers" for our future.  So, it is the specialist we went to see.  
• Nothing much to report yet.... we met with him, talked about our hopes/aspirations for retirement, our worries (my worries, my wife thinks we are fine) and now the fellow is going to to do some significant number crunching so that we can examine a variety of "models" at our next meeting in the middle of August.  
• Please remember.... I am used to (from my family lineage) of folks simply getting some sort of "pension" and that is it…. plus social security.  No wrangling, no deciding, no figuring out crap.  That is not how apparently anyone operates these days as far as I can tell..... or at least I KNOW that is now how the U operated our retirement.  The whole damn process has scared me most of my working life.  I did what was recommended each step along the way...... BUT, the whole damn thing to me seems like "smoke and mirrors" instead of something that makes me feel secure.  Terms like "401K", "investments", "divestments",  "pull downs" and "Roth" and other similar mumbo-jumbo hyperbole make my blood run cold and my mind fearful.  But, it is what it is.  I truthfully do not believe or trust any damn part of it.  For a lot of years, I was so worried that it was all "smoke and mirrors" I had already resigned myself to the notion that I would simply work to the grave so as to not become destitute.  I would occasionally mention that to my wife..... and she would usually just dismiss my thoughts with, "No, do not worry, everything will be fine." platitudes.  But, I never believed those platitudes…. anymore than I believed all the retirement financial hocus-pocus was real either.  I guess we are now at a point where I will perhaps actually see if there is a reality of a retirement.... or as I have secretly always had in the back of my mind...... my working to the grave..... will be the plan so as to not be regaled to the poor house. 
• Afterwards, we went to a Thai restaurant nearby the office of the U Financial Planner.  I did have to work a bit in my mind to NOT suggest to my wife we should just go home to save money.   That would not have gone over well, if I had done so.  I have to say the food was delightful.  I had a Vegetable Red Curry with chicken (the free options were tofu or chicken.... which is good for me, as I do not like the upcharged options.....  shrimp, beef, pork, crab, lobster....  in those kinds of dishes).  I chose chicken because.... 1) I like chicken, 2) I do like tofu, but have been a bit "tired" of it lately.... AND mostly because 3) their tofu for this dish was fried.... and I do not like fried ANYTHING.    My wife had Pad Thai.

That is about it for right now.  Just working on syllabi, and also the basement.  

PipeTobacco

Cornucopia

 

A fairly hefty array of mundane things to report:

• My absence last week was primarily due to setting up the new computer (which I am typing on as I write), cleaning my home den/office, and cleaning other things (so far, the backyard, the laundry room cupboards and laundry room generally, the first floor bathroom, and some other odds and ends.... still much more to do.... and I have to keep pushing since I do not often have the "mindset" needed to purge.
• Regarding the computer..... it did cause me considerable consternation..... as I had expected.... setting up gizmos like this is not something I enjoy.  But, I took it rather slowly..... I would work on the contraption until I felt frustrated..... and then go do something else until I was feeling again able to "calmly" continue the effort.  This did go on for a while.  But, now the new computer is up and running and I believe I have all the programs I need and want downloaded into the guts of the beast.  
• Honestly, though, I can report that set-up of an infernal machine like this has apparently improved by 2026.... for even though it WAS frustrating.... it was NOT as frustrating a time as it was when I last set up the (now defunct) prior machine in my den/office..... roughly 15-16 years ago.  I appreciate that many ancillary gizmos (aka printer, for instance) now were Wifi connectable instead of adding to the myriad of snaking cords all about.   My cords also are NEATER than they have ever been before.   
• This is my first real day using the machine, and I am still NOT sure if I really like having two screens.  I will give it a go for a while, of course, to see if my mind can acclimate to this situation.... but it DOES feel odd (and not "normal") to have to look to the right and left so much, and NEVER dead center, like I am used to.  My wife keeps "assuring" me I will grow to love having two monitors..... but we shall see.
• On the fourth.... it has been a long standing tradition to go see "the fireworks".... and in my locale there are three different, relatively equidistant cities that have these festivities.  While the 30-60 minutes of the fireworks display is interesting and pretty..... and I have tried to varying degrees of success to photograph fireworks... there are two things I actually rather dislike...... a) the NOISE.... I tend to be noise sensitive, and they are anything but.... and b) to get a "good spot" to see the fireworks, my wife has always had us show up more than a couple of hours before sunset to the designated spot.  The getting there early is the hardest part for me, because a) even with ample sunscreen, I dislike sitting around in the open sun.... it is just uncomfortable for me, and b) sitting out in the sun waiting for sunset and then enough darkness for the show to begin..... is (to me) akin to watching a pot of water, waiting for it to boil...... drudgery.  But this year, my wife, due to the very hectic past week she especially had (more, next bullet point), decided SHE was not up for going to the fireworks.  
• Not only did my MIL have the fall I mentioned before, and has needed a lot of extra care and support, the surgery (spinal fusion) my SIL had has created a very difficult recovery period for her, my BIL (my wife's brother) went into the emergency room with bladder/prostrate issues.  Taken as a whole.... we (but especially my wife) have been traveling to-and-fro all over the place between the three places where the three of them reside to try to help.   
• So our "4th of July Holiday" was more simple than usual.  We did three things..... a) on the actual 4th, we went to my SIL's and played euchre with them much of the afternoon.  We brought pizza and chips and snacks for while we played together, b) after Saturday Mass... we went and visited my MIL and brought her a bunch of snacks and helped tidy up her apartment, and then c) yesterday (Sunday) we went to a 4th of July themed, outdoor wind band concert in the early evening.  The concert was delightful.  We brought lawn chairs, and ate cubed watermelon and also cucumber slices while we heard the delightful music.  
• I have been working on revising syllabi for Fall courses, and now I can take my paper edits and fix up my documents on this new computer.  
• My den/office is exceptionally tidy now.... and I did spend time polishing all the displayed, beautiful pipes in my office/den's pipe racks.  They look so shiny and inviting now!  It may sound very odd... but I had been really missing the ritual of cleaning and fussing with my pipes.... almost to a similar level of how I still miss indulging in them.  
• I mentioned Wordle a while back.  Again, it is a new-to-me game.  But, I noticed today some of my "statistics"..... I have now played 42 times.  I have succeeded in getting the word correct 93% of the time (the first few days, I did not know what the hell I was doing).  And, as of today, I have a 35 day streak of correctly solving the puzzle.  

Even though I tend to think of "cornucopia" as mostly a "Fall" thing, since my post was about a whole bunch of stuff, the name fits, and so I luckily found a more "Summer" type of cornucopia.  

PipeTobacco