The Sunshine Day

I am still diligently working to keep those"stoic philosophical" ideas in my head.  Again, basically it is in a nutshell..... try to make decisions with a "cool, calm demeanor" and to promote HAVING a "cool, calm, demeanor"..... FOCUS your limited energies on things you CAN control and exert change in..... and LIMIT or even ELEMINATE your focus on those things that you CANNOT control or exert change in.  

It seems so simple..... but it is NOT really that simple to follow when we are bombarded with stimuli from everywhere all the time.  But, I can report that when I can keep those "rules" in my mind, they DO help me and have been beneficial.  

My bite guard situation the other day is a bit of a "partially successful" case in point.  I have to admit the experience left me exhausted, and that 3:30am bedtime made the next day rough to navigate in many ways.  BUT.... I think I handled the (temporary) LOSS of my bite guard BETTER than I have on the few other occasions where it has occurred over the decades.  I had to do a helluva lot of running around, but instead of getting flustered and frustrated to the point where I would literally begin to sob (if you do not have TMJ, you would  not really understand the impact of not having your bite guard.... it CAN be that emotional) and end up losing all mental focus..... I instead channeled my mind into remaining as calm as I could muster, and kept carefully searching (and searching and searching and searching) all the different potential areas I had been across the day.  Keeping the focus on what I COULD do (search) to help, and working to ignore the things I could not control (What if it was GONE?  What if the dog had eaten it?  What if it fell out of my pocket in some random place during all the journey of the day?) helped me.  

* * * 

I am looking forward to hopefully finding some friends at the tail-end of the Retiree's Cigar Group today.  But, even if they had left before I am able to get there, I have more of my "Hidden Valley Road" book to read as a backup.  

* * *

From  a "stoic philosophical" perspective, I am trying to think through in my mind, my pipe smoking.  I am not sure where all my thoughts fit, however.  I tend to THINK I should be able to control and make decisions on potentially returning to pipes in a way that is within a framework that feels occasional and appropriate.  But, in some other ways, I am wondering if perhaps the sheer joy I have with pipes and pipe tobaccos is perhaps something I cannot exert any sort of meaningful control over?  If the latter is the case, perhaps there is no hope of me returning to them in a truly managed sense?  Yet, I am not really sure.  When I get more time, I will have to reason through it more to try to figure it out.

* * *

I have also been giving A LOT more thought towards retirement.  Not that it is eminent.  But, I am starting to realize that I have considerable worries, anxieties, and concerns about this sort of major transition in life.  I am thinking I may start to try to categorize and write out these thoughts, perhaps once or twice a week here, so I can better try to work through them.  I am hoping that by doing so, I may be able to transition to retirement in a happy, good way.

PipeTobacco  

Jargon Overload

 

Yesterday's bite guard post prompted questions revolving around "Why not just have a backup of the "good" bite guard?"

It WOULD SEEM that would be an EASY solution.  Unfortunately, it is not the case.  The production of a bite guard is regrettably more ART than science.  The beasts are hand made, and EVEN if you were to have two made from the same dentition mold.... there are major differences in how functional they ARE after they are created (I tried that by one time having TWO made at once from the same mold).  

With each one hand made, the primary contact points between the lower teeth and the bite plate's undersurface are always unique, and this leads each bite guard to have its own benefits, and also its own problems.  

Added to this situation is that every dentist I have had does NOT produce his/her own bite guards, but instead has them produced in some regional outsource establishment..... further reducing the uniformity of how the touch surfaces for the teeth are going to be made.... each dentist "communicates" ideas of how to make the beast....to the place that actually makes them.... so there are many different people involved, each with their own "interpretations" of any notes, guidance, etc.  

The final conundrum... is that dentists frequently tend to be "cookbook" style clinicians.  For the most part, they follow a taxonomic key, er, a prescribed path from beginning to end on how things should be done and ultimately are done.  I have tried diligently, during at least the last 7-8 bite splints I have had made, to coax, encourage, suggest, and even plead with the dentist to have the splint made in ways that I recognize would most benefit my own TMJ experiences.  The parameters that would most help me include:

1.  Having the bite guard be EXTRA THICK to keep me from as easily clenching my teeth while sleeping.  My one bite guard that my dog ate, was ACCIDENTLY made roughly 2.5 times as thick than typical.... and at the time, the dentist apologized, and this was before I recognized its benefits.... I said it was ok, and that I would try it out.... and it was helpful.  But, it was an accident I have never been able to convince a dentist to specifically request from the outsource place since.

2.  Having the primary pressures of my bite while wearing the guard.....  be on my incisors (front teeth,top and bottom).... this alleviates my major issues of CLENCHING my teeth (my molars in particular) while sleeping.  The clenching I do is a major aspect of the joint pain that I will awaken with many/most mornings.  Every bite guard I have had made other than the "perfect" one my dog ate was made rather FLAT across the entirety of the dentition pattern...... permitting easy CLENCHING.  

3.  Part of the reason for desiring points of initial contact between my upper and lower incisors is due to my atypical dentition pattern where I have a natural overbite of my upper incisors in front of my lower incisors (normal dentition has them meet and contact when the molars touch, preventing the clenching to a large extent).  This is why I have evolved in the last couple of years of using what I coin a "bite sock" as well.  The "bite sock" is a literal sock (I have five pair of new crew socks I bought for this purpose (10 total)). that I fold and knot together in such a way that it has a small, albeit thick region that I literally hold in my mouth to create points of contact between my upper and lower incisors.... and to prevent CLENCHING.  As long as I hold the sock between my teeth while sleeping, it is a tremendous help.  But I often spit out the sock while sleeping, and then I start clenching, even with the "best" remaining bite guard I have... with the inherent negative results.  

So, my long windedness above is meant to try to explain that unfortunately no two bite guards are the same, even if it was wished they could be.  

* * *

My title today was in reference to what I had planned to write about a bit... which is what appears to be a new RISE in the use of "jargon".  Perhaps it is just my perception, but to me, it feels far more "1984-ish" today (Orwellian 1984, I mean) both politically, but also in terms of LANGUAGE than it has in a couple of decades.  The breaking point that really brought this to my attention is of all things.... NPR!  NPR is my major source of news, and I have been a regular listener for, hell, at least four decades if not closer to five decades.  Over the years, more and more "commercial" pronouncements have crept into NPR to compensate for inadequate funding.  These are not normal "jingle-jangly" commercials like on normal television and radio, but more akin to "public service-style" announcements usually with some monotone fellow or lady reading a name of a "donor" with a stock list of the company's goals and aspirations.  

Over the last few weeks I have grown annoyed at two companies in particular with the PSA-like commercials on NPR.... one is for WorkDay.... the horrific program my U's HR Department adopted about 1.5 years ago that has been a nightmare for anyone not in the inner circle of HR jargon.  The way our U utilizes this wretched program has folks across campus use WorkDay to submit all manner of purchase requests, travel requests, reimbursement requests etc through this system.  But the system is a heirarchical MAZE of hundreds of dropdown menus with each menu having a dozen or more vague "categories" through which a request may be "properly" routed.  

The issue is that these menu choices are ambiguous and there is no clarity of how to navigate this process.  In each and every case I know of from at least 15 or so faculty I have talked with.... EVERY DAMN TIME we try to submit some request through WorkDay.... it gets sent back needing to be redone because the routing menu's specific dropdown categories were not correctly selected to route things where they are supposed to go.  Perhaps this is some sort of "savings" for HR folks... but for every person not in HR who has to use this damnable program..... WorkDay..... INCREASES the amount of work we need to do..... every damn time.

Then, also on NPR is another PSA-like commercial for some other program (I have avoided learning (or at least remembering) the program or business name of this one) that is constably yammering about some slew of nonsense with phrases like "supply chain" "side chain ergonomics" and to increase "stabilization parameters" of a whole array of nonsensicial things.  It was driving me batty to try to parse through the jargon to attempt to make sense of it..... instead, when I hear that particular announcement start, I try to tune out.... or change the radio dial to a different NPR channel.  

***

I have been feeling a strong elevation of my sense of loss about my pipes.  I had the very sincere plan to try to indulge in a bowl last Saturday during  my extra trip to the shoppe due to my "bachelor status", but you may remember Gus' son was there and he gave me one of his Dad's cigar, so I worked through that instead.  

That "near miss" opportunity.... perhaps was for the best emotionally.  I am not sure.  Part of what I find is so different (besides the robust beauty and charms of pipe tobaccos) between a pipe and a cigar may be confusing for many to understand.  When I laid down my pipes 8 years ago (other than the THREE glorious times where I was able to allow myself the joy of one due to a special, prescribed occasion), I had never really been any sort of regular indulger in cigars.  

When my friend from Mass first invited me to the Retiree's Cigar Group.... I did so with a specific mindset.... with my lack of a routine or a developed pattern of indulging in cigars..... I created a framework that felt "safe" in how I could allow myself to have a cigar with minimal risk.  It would always be a) at the shoppe, b) usually only ONCE a week, and c) I would be more "purposeful" in the activity.... wholly concentrating on the experience while idulging, rather than just having it be a "routine" that just happened.    

The above served me well, for it helped me establish thes sort of occasional pattern where I feel comfortable having an occasional cigar without much worry.   But.... for the pipe.... it is a very different story:

1.  I MUCH MORE significantly enjoy and appreciate pipes and pipe tobaccos compared to a cigar.  

2.  I have a beautiful, multiple decade relationship and patterning structure of how I indulged in my beloved pipes.... and it was never "occasional" and... was pretty much based upon the idea of a pattern of....  "whenever the mood struck"..... which would be often.

3.  With the above two items.... in each of the  beautiful three times I did allow myself to enjoy a pipe in these last 8 years.... I could very easily feel (and did feel) the strong pull to simply permit myself to gently slide back into the beautiful, decades-long pattern I had innately and naturally developed in my earlier life.  I find that worrisome, as I am not sure if I have a strong enough fortitude of will to wrangle that passion consistently into just an occasional pattern. 

4.  So, the pattern I have ADOPTED and LEARNED as normal.....  in indulging in a cigar is a comfortable, occasional one.... and it feels both comfortable as a pattern, and easy to not drift away from.

5.  But, I am not sure if I could retrain an old dog (me) to a RELIABLE pattern of an occasional pipe in this same way.  With the decades long "free-form" pattern as my normal..... I am not sure if I could successfully retrain my mind to accept this occasional route in a reliable way.... or would I simply cascade back to my "free-form" indulgence?  My comfortable, "free-form" pattern of so long may not be able to be converted to "occasional".

Enough yammering today.  I have to get some work done.

PipeTobacco

Exhausted

 

I am rather exhausted this morning as I stayed up (not by desire) until ~3:30am last night.   The issue, was that I had spent a fair amount of time cleaning yesterday and getting things out for the trash (pickup is today for both regular trash and recyclables in my neighborhood).  

I was feeling really good about the cleaning I did, and about having had a good band rehearsal as well.  I had made myself a turkey sandwich on rye (with spicy mustard and guacamole), my usual salad that is bigger than my head, and some mixed vegetables.  And, with my wife away, I watched two episodes of Cannon (William Conrad is the primary actor.... great show).  

Then I prepared for heading to bed.

BUT....

I could not find my bite guard!

It may sound preposterous for folks who do not have TMJ.... that the loss/misplacement of a bite guard can cause HUGE distress.  But, it can and does.  I have five different bite guards (and have chewed through a dozen more over the years), but EACH BITE GUARD IS DIFFERENT from each other.  Some work well, some not as successfully.

Long time readers may have read (a few times) when I reported how several years ago, my dog DESTROED (chewed into bits and ate) the very best bite guard I ever had.  With that bite guard, I had stable, pain free jaws for several years until the dog ate it.  

It was very hard after the loss of that bite guard.... the others in my collection did not do anywhere near as good a job, and I would have sporadic episodes of pain and discomfort.  

Finally, now in the present, I have been using one particular bite guard that is stable enough in terms of performance that I only have an occasional flare-up in the condition.  It is my current, prized bite guard.  

AND..... I could not find it.  

This sent me into a panic.... Did I throw it away while cleaning?  Is it sitting somewhere where the DOG MIGHT FIND IT and eat it?  Did it drop out of my pocket during my travels and it could be who the hell knows where?!?!  

I searched and searched until 1:30am around the house.... looking everywhere I could think of SEVERAL times.  Each pass through the house ratched up my anxiety.  

I was just planning on pulling out all the bags of trash in our trash bin, to dig and sort through them.... when I had a thought.... MIGHT I HAVE LEFT IT ON MY DESK AT THE U?  I was not sure, but I was remembering that I had started talking with my wife (on the phone) at my desk and may have taken it out to speak with her.  

My mind percolated that idea for a while, and eventually I thought.... I HAVE to go there and see if I can locate it.  

So, I drove to the U and got there around ~2:00am.  

NO BITE GUARD on any of my desks nor in my lab.  I was utterly defeated, beyond tired, and filled with anxiety.  I needed this bite guard.  I was angry, worried, and dead-dog tired.  

I got back home ~2:45am, and took all the trash bags out onto the front porch and turned on the front light so I could begin the process of sorting through all the garbage.  But, it sounded so horrible, I thought I would look around the house ONE MORE TIME.

Amazingly, I DID find the damn thing!  It was in our master bathroom.... it had fallen behind a seashell statue that we have on the windowsill.  It must have fallen out of my pocket while I was cleaning and tidying up the bathroom and it fell just perfectly behind the shell statue that I could not see anything until I moved the shell itself.

I was so thankful and relieved.

I went outside and returned the trash bags to the garbage can. And then I washed up, brushed my teeth (and brushed my bite guard), and went to bed..... 3:30am.

PipeTobacco

Addendum:  I also dreamed ("nightmared") last night...... I was picking through seemingly hundreds of garbage bags, searching and searching for my bite guard.  I am sure that added to my exhaustion upon awakening.   

Office Hour Writing Break

It was a rather busy morning, so I did not write when I first arrived, but am now in the middle of an office hour, and no one is visiting me, so I am free to write for a bit.  I had just returned from a class where I was discussing and describing various physiological aspects of metamorphic change that can occur in some species.  A few brief highlights since they are still running circuits in my mind include:

• In the transition from tadpole to frog, titers of the hormone Triiodothyronine (the active form of Thyroxine) shape the metamorphic steps. 
• Very interesting and environmentally relevant changes in physiology occur in this metamorphosis:
• eye migration occurs from the laterally placed eyes on the tadpole to anteriorly placed eyes in the adult
• the above can occur because the skull of the tadpole is cartilagenous.  The skull does not ossify until after eye migration occurs in the adult
• the tadpole has a herbivorous diet whereas the adult is a carnivore 
•  the different diets shape the gastrointestinal structures differently... namely the tadpole has a very long, spirally coiled intestinal system needed to digest vegetation, whereas the adult has a shorter intestinal system typical of organisms that are carnivores
• gills regress and lung formation occurs
• Elimination of cellular wastes changes too..... the tadpole, being aquatic, eleminates wastes as ammonia, whereas the adult, having transitioned to being terrestrial has had enzyme systems develop during metamorphosis that convert cellular wastes to urea.  The benefit of urea for terrestrial organisms is that it is a more "water conserving" way of getting rid of cellular wastes than is ammonia which only aquatic animals employ as they do not experience water stress in the way terrestrial animals do.   
• Well, I am sure the above is boring as hell for most folks, so I will stop now, and not talk about the other things I described physiologically regarding Cecropia Moth and Fruit Fly metamophosis.  

Let us see......

• I take that back.... one more (BRIEF, I PROMISE) thing..... as an example..... humans would.... without their kidneys recycling water, be estimated to need to expel ~100 GALLONS of water a day to shed wastes via ammonia.  However, the average adult expresses only ~1.5 liters of urine in a given day..... this highlights how efficient our kidney's are are recycling water and concentrating waste products as a terrestrial animal.  

Now onto other things....

• Friday was a wonderful time at the shoppe.  Unfortunately, none of my friends were there.... there were a few folks I did not know, but they did not seem focused on conversing.   But, I went to the second floor's windowed area and read more of my "Hidden Valley Road" book, which is about a family who had 6 of twelve kids develop schizophrenia in the 1970s.... and how their situation helped researchers identify heritable components of the condition.  
• I also traversed the lands again on Saturday to go to the shoppe.  I had brought my pipe, and was not sure if I would enjoy it there or not..... but when I arrived a friend who is somewhat sporadically there WAS there, and this fellow (who is ~70) had only a few weeks ago lost his Dad, who was ALSO a sporadic regular at the shoppe.  I had met his Dad a handful of times because when he came, he always tried to come when the Retiree's Cigar Group would meet on Thursdays.  He was 96 when he passed away.  I had last seen him at the end of February.  
• Well, this friend, who's father had passed, offered me one of his Dad's cigars, so I could not refuse.  It was a fancy, pressed Perdomo Reserved, 10th Anniversary edition.  Gus (the Dad) was especially fond of them.

I am greatly looking forward to my wife returning tomorrow!  It has been boring without her.  We have "face-timed" a bit on the gizmo phone.... but it is not the same.  She has been very happy with my small gifts that I secretly stowed in her luggage.  She especially liked the hand dipped caramels, remarking how soft and creamy each center has been.  

I better do some actual work, so I should head out.

PipeTobacco

Working to Relax

 

I am "working to relax" so-to-speak.  Basically, I am having a workday that I am striving to build around the various principles I gleaned from the guest speaker I heard on Wednesday (and talked about here in yesterday's (Thursday's) post).  I am working to guide my mind to focus more on the tangible, present things I can accomplish, rather than be overwhelmed by the many things I cannot objectively control.  It has been both USEFUL, and rather CALMING to me.  I am not sure if this would be considered a "breakthrough" of sorts for me.... but it has been a pleasant day.  I think this philosophy of the "stoics" may have a lot of merit.... and with practice, perhaps this can develop into more my norm?  

• My wife has left on her journey.  I am hoping it is a really great experience for her.  And.... I am hopeful to hear in our phone call this evening that  she found my little package, has opened it, and is pleased with my small gifts.
• I am going to leave for the shoppe in just a bit.  And, if I find a friend or two there..... wonderful!  But as a backup plan, I have my notebook that I will be able to spend some quality time with in terms of thinking about tasks I hope to engage in over the next few days.  These include a) home tasks I would like to accomplish, b) work tasks I need to organize and plan for how and when to accomplish, c) work through a structure on how/when to start putting together the needed electronica for my accelerated "Summer" course that begins in mid-May, and d) think through a list of items I will want to stop at the pharmacy (Walgreens) to get on my way home after visiting the shoppe.  
• This may be a "pipe dream" in all the different permutations of meaning that the phrase has.... but I am contemplating perhaps going back to the shoppe on Saturday as well.... and considering potentially to have a pipe while I am there.  I tend to think the Saturday clientele is not of a group of fellows who stick around there for any length of time (or so I have heard) and typically are shop-and-go sorts on Saturdays. I figure I could perhaps go and allow myself the chance to sample one pipe upstairs in their nicely windowed space where I could sit and read a book.  I think I could wrangle in my mind this being a special enough, rare occasion (being a "bachelor" for a spell) that it likely would not push me into repetitive behavior.  I would far rather have my wife about, of course.... but I was trying to think of a way to garner some fun in spite of my wife being absent. 
• One of the sure "signs" of Spring that I am pretty sure I can/will do this weekend, is to REMOVE the orange snow stakes from around the driveway and sidewalk.  Here is an image from Home Depot showing what I mean if you are not familiar with snow stakes: 

 

These can be helpful markers in the "way up North" region because often the snow levels get so deep that is difficult, often impossible, to read where the driveway or sidewalk ends and the lawn begins.  These markers guide my path when I shovel snow.  And.... fingers crossed...I am feeling confident enough that we will NOT get any more snow.... or at least not get ENOUGH snow that I would not be able to discern the edges of the sidewalks/driveway.  

• I am also considering washing the walls of the kitchen to be able to hang some new/fresh "artsy" things my wife and I have gotten in the last year........ and I am thinking about doing the same for our master bathroom for some similar "artsy" things w have gotten to spruce up that room a bit as well.  
• Finally, another item I am considering is to try to do an effective "Spring Cleaning" of the basement to allow it to be again more functional a space for me to do my instrument repair hobby work.  

PipeTobacco

Bachelor Status

 

I am going to be a bachelor beginning tomorrow through until Tuesday.  My wife is traveling on a work-related trip and I shall be home to do my normal work and to, of course, tend to our pets.  

In order to spend more time with my wife this evening, I am forgoing the Retiree's Cigar Group this afternoon.  I may go to the cigar shoppe on Friday, possibly.... some of the regulars often go multiple times a week and although not a "scheduled" event, I think there is a potential for me to meet up with at least one or two of them if I plan my Friday correctly.  If I go, it will be interesting to see and feel how a different type of participation feels..... not the more "semi-formal" Retiree's Cigar Group.  

I have been working on a small package to secretly insert into my wife's luggage for her on her journey.  It consists of four cards with hand-written thoughts and ideas of love and encouragement in each, a small 10-line poem for each card that I wrote regarding my love for her and how I look forward to her return, and a small package in which I have two sets of four treats she especially likes.... four chocolate dipped Oreo cookies and four chocolate, hand-dipped caramels.  The hoped for plan is that she will, upon finding the package Friday afternoon..... in the evening each day of the journey, she will be able to spend a bit of time opening and reading a specific card and also its included poem, and enjoy a cookie and chocolate as she winds down from the day.  I am hopeful she will feel a bit more deeply, even though we are apart, my love for her with these small gestures.

Stoicism is an ancient Greek and Roman philosophy designed to foster a good life by maximizing virtue, managing emotions, and focusing solely on what is within our control. It emphasizes four cardinal virtues—Wisdom, Courage, Temperance, and Justice… to attempt to achieve mental tranquility and resilience. 

The Dichotomy of Control: The most crucial principle is differentiating between what we can control (our thoughts, actions, reactions) and what we cannot (external events, other people's opinions, the past).

Virtue is the Sole Good: The Stoics believed that virtue (living according to reason and nature) is the only true good, while vice is the only evil.

Rational Emotional Regulation: Stoics believe emotions like anger are irrational reactions to judgments, which should be managed through calm, reasoned thought.

I had not thought about this rather "stoic/Hericlitus" form of philosophy in quite a number of years.  But, I was at a talk on campus yesterday that was of a speaker (neuroscience focused) brought to campus who had as his focus, the discussion of how to experience change in one's self, you first needed to identify clearly the emotions you are feeling and categorize them into emotions related to things you have no ability to control or regulate, versus those that you CAN exert some control over.  So, for instance, the impact globally of climate change is not something you as an individual can truthfully change.... so in the "stoic" philosophy you should work to ignore the emotions (fear, worry, etc) of this global change because it is so large, and you as one person cannot change this "big picture" problem.... it is only fruitless energy wasted to dwell upon.  Yet, what the stoics would instead guide and suggest  would be to instead focus on what you CAN control, and in a mindset of calmness and rationality.... make the local, change(s) you can and devote your energies towards that effort (for instance, decrease the use of plastics, use less fuel, keep the winter thermostat lower).  

As is much of philosophy, it is a bunch of "mind games" but in many ways these can be useful.  The speaker suggested that mental happiness and clarity can be substantially improved by following this sort of guidance by the "stoic" philosophers.  And, in hearing this again, it rang as rather true and valuable for my mind.  

In some regards, it is akin to the "Serenity Prayer" that folks who are in AA attempt to use as a guide..... in a nutshell..... know what you can change, and work on that.  

PipeTobacco 

Visitation

I have written a few times about my Uncle Chester (Uncle Chet).  He was a very favorite Uncle of mine, along with my Uncle Kasper.  They both had passed away decades ago. 

Late in the day on Monday, I found out that my cousin.... Uncle Chet's son-in-law had passed away.  I do not know technically how most folks would name this person.... my actual cousin by blood in this relationship is my Uncle Chet's daughter.  However, in my family the spouses of blood relatives also acquire the same designation.... so I do consider this fellow, the husband of my blood cousin, is also my cousin (although it is by marriage).  I have known him my whole life.  He was my cousin's high school sweetheart at the Catholic school both attended.

My wife and I went to his visitation at the funeral home last evening.  Although the situation was very sad, there was also considerable pleasantness in seeing more distant relatives I have not seen in quite a while.  

My Uncle Chet and his wife (my aunt by marriage, Aunt Clementine) tried very hard to have a large family.  They ultimately went through seven pregnancies, but unfortunately my aunt had a very difficult time in childbirth, and six of the seven children were not able to successfully be born.  I believe my Aunt experienced what is now called "labor dystocia"..... a form of difficulty in cervical dilation. that caused these unfortunate results.  It was only their last pregnancy that was able to have the child birthed successfully.... my cousin.... the person who just lost her husband.  The pregnancies all occurred from the late 1930s through her birth in the late 1940s.  Today, there are medications a woman can receive to help with dilation, and there is of course the very common usage of cesarian section surgery.  Neither of these were options for my Uncle and Aunt at their time of pregnancies

PipeTobacco.