Well...

We went to the 8:00am appointment.  Unfortunately, the clinician was running late in getting to the hospital, so we were there for a while.  But, that was ok.

Happily, he was a very nice, careful, and concerned fellow who treated my wife very kindly and with thorough care.  After seeing her walk, and in checking all sorts of external features of her leg's musculature, and testing tonicity, strengths of muscle, and tension in resting muscle, he then also looked at the results of the MRI testing.  

His conclusions were that my wife has a tear of her anterior cruciate ligament (ACL), which I also knew from reading the summary of my wife's MRI. BUT... he also felt that the ligamental tear was incomplete (partial) and small enough...... that it DID NOT require surgery!  Instead, he suggested that prescribed physical therapy would be the best way to proceed, with the therapy helping in tensions in the knee region, in building a better gait (my wife tends to splay her feet), and that the incomplete tear can and will be able to heal and re-establish with the help of the therapy.  She has been prescribed three sessions of physical therapy a week for six weeks until she has her next visit with the clinician.  

He further encouraged my wife to continue swim-walking, and to walk (with conscious efforts to hold feet in the paddle-forward stance) as much as could be done comfortably.  

It was extremely good news, and both my wife and I are very happy.  She did walk (gingerly and slowly) with the conscious effort of maintaining a paddle-forward stance.  She could feel it was difficult (but not in the knee) because her muscles had tightened and been aligned for the "splayed" stance she had been using.  

We both are very happy and hopeful.  We are also both wholly exhausted!  As I believe is quite common when experiencing significant stress, worry, and fear.... once those emotions dissipate.... there is a period of recovery where you feel good.... but also "wiped out" physically and emotionally for a while.  That is how we both felt last night and also this morning.  

But, it is such a good feeling to feel.... compared to all of the last month. This is the very best diagnosis/outcome we could have hoped for.  We were able to contact the physical therapy facility and she will start Monday.

PipeTobacco

"Hope", But Zero Trust

Yesterday, we did not hear ANYTHING back from the orthopedic specialist.  My wife and I were both feeling emotionally distraught and agitated all day, waiting and hoping for a call.  

By later in the day we were both so out of sorts.  We talked and decided my wife should call back into the "specialist" group.  The receptionist who answered immediately did the same sort of "run-around" dismissive crap to my wife that had been going on with every receptionist with every medical event of the past weeks..... including not being able to find records, and all sorts of related garbage.

I am of the opinion that in the current state of US health care, most receptionists have as their primary role to be "bodyguards" of sorts for any clinician.... basically obfuscating, lying, distracting, and doing any damn thing they can to not have to assist patients.

In the last several days, I do not know HOW MANY TIMES my wife was told that a) no records were showing (and they WERE SHOWING in each case, but the receptionist could not initially find them), b) that the test provider (for the MRI for instance) has not reported any results to the primary care physician (even though they had been visible to my wife (AND THE DOCTOR) for at least three days, before the clinician then told us the doctor would not be in until next week),  c) that "someone" would get back to us "later in the day" (which never happened and we had to basically call and call and call through the process again the next day).  

So.... at the end of the day yesterday, my wife called the "orthopedic specialist group" back.... went through the rigamarole AGAIN of "no medical records" (not true), "no indication of a prior contact to this group"  (again, not true, and further investigation by the same damn receptionist she talked to yesterday, finally uncovered the prior contact), and "no one is available" (same old shit as has been going on)...... finally my wife broke down in tears on the phone with the person, reiterating (AGAIN) that is has been four weeks and no diagnosis nor treatment plan has occurred.  

My wife was placed on hold while she was sobbing.  

When the receptionist eventually returned, she told my wife that she could schedule her in with "Dr. XXX" at 8:00am Friday (which as I write this, is today, even though the call was last night).  

My wife and I are "cautiously" relieved that TODAY, at least there MIGHT be SOME SORT OF PROGRESS. 

However, the jaded part of me is expecting there to be some sort of additional crap and nonsense that will make the appointment not really happen.  

But, we shall see.  I would so love for my wife to have a diagnosis, and a treatment plan, so that she can progress and heal.  I am so worried that with her other health concerns, that this month of extremely limited mobility may have harmed her and weakened her in ways that scare the hell out of me.  

I want there to be some support today, some movement, some sort of PLAN for her to heal.

I am very fearful that this will not happen.  I feel as if we are in a vat of quicksand, and we are struggling to not sink further, with every struggle, we are falling only inches away from when the quicksand will swallow us whole.

PipeTobacco 

Never Ending

Yesterday was frustrating chaos.

My wife and I prepared to go to the ultrasound and then left to go there.  We signed in, and sat in the waiting room for roughly an hour when a clinician came out and told us.

"We are cancelling your ultrasound as it is unnecessary because you had an MRI."

Which is what I had been saying and asking about every damn day since we received the APPOINTMENT for the MRI many, many, many days ago.

So, we went home.  My wife's primary care physician still had not examined the MRI results even though they had been up for a few days already, so I convinced my wife to call and indicate that she NEEDED to have the diagnosis and to have an appointment to figure out what to do.

She called.

A nurse informed her that her primary care physician would not be in until NEXT WEEK some time.

My wife cried.  I blew a gasket.

My wife now is trying to see if she can circumvent the primary care physician and schedule an appointment with an orthopedic specialist (we are not sure if that will be allowed or not).  

I am so frustrated that words cannot even begin to describe my thoughts and mood.  This was yesterday.  I am still as irate as I was feeling yesterday.

PipeTobacco

After

Well, yesterday, a short while after my post,  my wife received a phone call from the hospital that she had the rescheduled appointment for her ultrasound.  They told her that the appointment had was cancelled due to something associated with the ultrasound clinician.  Instead, they told her that they rescheduled the ultrasound for TODAY at 11:30am.  My wife was not pleased, nor was I.  

I am also not pleased we have still not heard anything back from my wife's doctor concerning the MRI.  

I find it discouragingly interesting that a) we are still having an ultrasound, even though the MRI is a more detailed scan, b) the original ultrasound was still a ways away, but the one we had for yesterday was had by being on a cancellation list (a list for folks hoping to get an earlier appointment because someone has their test cancelled by their doctor)..... but due to whatever is going on with the ultrasound clinician.... we immediately were rescheduled for today, and c) it is damn near FOUR weeks and my wife still has absolutely NO diagnosis NOR treatment plan.

I am tired. I feel like giving up.

I made vegetarian stuffed peppers this morning and have them in the refrigerator for us to bake tonight.  One of our kids, who is vegetarian, is going to probably come over and eat dinner with us tonight.  We will also have baked potatoes and salad.

PipeTobacco

No News So Far

No news so far.  It is frustrating.  The ultrasound appears to be "still on" and so I am going to take my wife to that in just a bit.  

I am tired.  I have though, successfully squashed my internal emotional whirlwind down so that I am able to exist as a fellow without affect through most of the day.  I have no energy, other than to try to adopt a smile and an attempt at laughter when about my wife helping her.  It does no good to emote the worry, the frustration, the anger (at these delays) I have inside.

Sometimes I do not know who I am any longer.

PipeTobacco

Waiting Game

We were granted the "luxury" of having an MRI on Sunday.  Now, we are just in a state of waiting for potential results.  I am not sure when this may happen.  But, at least we now have a scan.

I am not sure if it is stupid or not, but we ALSO have an "ultrasound" of the knee scheduled for tomorrow.  I do not believe an ultrasound reveals anything beyond what an MRI reveals, so I am thinking that the powers that be forgot to cancel the ultrasound, and the ultrasound folks had a "drop out" and called us with this new information that an earlier space became available.  

Again, from my understanding, the MRI is definitive of showing in a non-invasive way what is going on.  Again, from my understanding, the ultrasound is a lesser test, typically done to "see" if there a warranted need for an MRI in health-speak.  

Health care is even more screwed up than I had previously recognized.  

But, I am HOPING for some good news SOME DAY if the MRI is ever read by the specialist, and if the results are ever submitted to the primary care physician, and if the primary care physician ever attempts to examine the specialist's notes, and if the primary care physician ever decides to inform us (technically, my wife) of her recommendations and of a treatment plan.  

PipeTobacco

Hoping

Well, my wife's rather strident and adamant pleas appear to have at least STARTED some things.  Of that I am glad. 

• She has a doppler now scheduled for today because her lower calf is swollen and the clinicians want to (hopefully) rule out there being blood clots in her lower leg.  (This is ~2.5 weeks after the event.) 
• Depending upon the findings, she may or may not be able to be potentially "squeezed in" perhaps on Saturday or perhaps on Sunday (no guarantee of either date) to have a "rush" ultrasound or perhaps a "rush" MRI.  Again, it is all vague, but IF it transpires, it will be about 1 week earlier than the prior scheduled ultrasound. (If either occurs, it would be ~3 weeks after the event.... a modest improvement compared to the scheduled time which would be ~4 weeks after the event.)

With all this, we try to carry on as best as we can. She has been sleeping downstairs on the couch since this happened because it is too painful and too scary and too dangerous to try to navigate stairs without ANY sort of diagnosis.  She has been working remotely when possible, and I have brought her into work when remote is not viable using her sister's wheelchair.  

We have been able to go swimming a couple of times.  We use the wheelchair to go to the pool, to get her into the pool area and back from the pool.  I believe this is helpful and beneficial as she needs some sort of movement for health, and the buoyancy of the water dramatically reduces the pressures/forces on her leg while walking in the pool (gently).  With the decreased pressures/forces, I believe/hope the risk of further injury is very low.  

We are trying to keep a positive attitude.  Mine is more of a facade, as I am quite worried and anxious all the time, and I am rather exhausted with the additional things I need to do (and add to my already busy plate) to try to keep my wife safe and to try to help keep her spirits up too.

PipeTobacco