Grapefruit

 

(PCS = 8)

I must be in some sort of culinary state because I have been especially thinking of an array of different foods I would like to try to make during the last few weeks.  One of the flavors that I am especially fond of is grapefruit.  Fortunately, as I do not yet have any sort of chronic prescription medication I take.... I am free to indulge in grapefruit whenever and wherever I find it... or at least when my wife buys it for me. :)  I feel sad for people who do take medicine where grapefruit is contraindicated.

I have noticed a strange thing (perhaps only an issue in my area of the Northern US) however.  Over the last several years, the prevalence of the types of grapefruit has shifted considerably and (for me) a bit sadly.  From my perspective there are two basic forms of grapefruit..... yellow (traditional) grapefruit and the more recent "ruby-red" grapefruit.  They are both good... but, the traditional, yellow grapefruit (to me) has a more robust flavor.  But, over the last dozen years there has a been a transition to where once the yellow grapefruit was far, far more common than the "ruby-red" variety.... now the "ruby-red" predominates.  And, in the last seven years or so, it seems like I would be lucky to get one or perhaps two offerings of yellow grapefruit during an entire season.  The last three years, in fact, I have not seen a single yellow grapefruit at any of the grocery stores I have access to!  I miss the yellow grapefruit.  

But in more "culinary" terms, I have had percolating in my mind, the idea that I would like to make a grapefruit cake and also would like to make a grapefruit meringue pie.  Everyone makes lemon cakes and lemon meringue pies, so those seem not particularly exciting for me (and I have made them previously, so no real quest or drive in me to accomplish that).  But, I think it would be wonderful to make a grapefruit cake and use grapefruit zest in the cake and in the frosting!  And, in a similar vein, I would think a grapefruit meringue pie would be awfully damn good too!  

The one challenge, though, is that my wife abhors grapefruit.  She finds it "bitter and repulsive" (her blasphemous words, not mine).  And, unfortunately, it seems most of my kids also have inherited that same sad gene, as only ONE of my kids "kind of" likes grapefruit and the others are of similar vehemence as my wife, so it would not be easy to pawn off on any of them even if they happen to be nearby.  

I have thought of trying to make these two different grapefruit deserts on previous occasions, but have refrained primarily BECAUSE there really wouldn't be anyone for me to share them with.... and no one to share the JOY of that delightful flavor.  But, the itch to create them is pretty strong currently.  I am not sure... but I might feel a strong enough creative urge to try to make one of them this weekend.  

PipeTobacco

Responsibilities

 

 

(PCS = 7)

If the hallmark of adulthood is the taking on of responsibilities, then I have that covered in spades. I have a headache at the moment, from too many tasks to do with the comparatively close to 0% interest in completing any of them.  So, I thought I would mindlessly put down a few of the various scattered thoughts from my neuronal pool here in a bulleted list:

• (Happened a few days ago) About 15 minutes before my wife had to leave on a work related trip that involved driving ~3.5 hours one way and then ~3.5 hours back...... she went to open the garage door on her side of the garage when there was a HUGE bang, almost like a bullet sound.  The garage door spring broke.  Without the spring intact, it is impossible to raise the extremely heavy, solid wood garage door.... so her vehicle was stuck inside.  
• The garage door on my side worked perfectly.  BUT.... my vehicle is a manual transmission.  My wife does not know how to drive a stick shift.  So, I ended up needing to drive her.  While it was nice to drive and talk with her, it basically destroyed any plans of work I had for the day.
• It was only 40 degrees F ( ~ 4 C) this morning when I ran.  Such a huge contrast from yesterday.  A few days ago, I ran in a warm rain with just shorts on and no t-shirt.  Today, I had on a sweat shirt, sweat pants, a stocking hat and gloves.  
• I like the flavor of my coffee to be very bitter, very strong, and completely unadorned (black).  
• I have been making microwave tea from teabags frequently over the last two-three weeks.  Both the coffee and the tea.... for me... are served over ice and need to be very cold.  My tea (like the coffee) is best when it is very strong and completely unadorned with anything.  I especially like the mouth feel of strong tannins.  
• Probably 99+ % of the time, I fall asleep rapidly and sleep very soundly.  From my wife's account it is quite infrequent that I snore.  And, she reports sometimes she worries because I do not seem to move and she sometimes has great difficulty discerning if I am breathing.... so she pushes and tries to roust me... but the depth of my sleep is quite intense.  I mention this only in reference to coffee and tea..... although I have never really had a problem with caffeine preventing me from falling asleep, I tend to try to avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening just in case.  If I am really looking for more of the pleasant bitter flavor of coffee, I will sometimes drink decafinated in the afternoon  or evening.
• I have still been thinking about the challenge I had the other day with my especially strong pipe cravings.  Its suddenness and its shear strength of longing truly caught me off guard.  I do not have any way to explain it either.  
• I was wondering if the reality of the ebbing and flowing of desire for smoking my pipe (hence my PCS scale) means that perhaps the only way to actually SHED this desire, is to find or figure out some way to despise my pipes and vilify my pipe tobacco?  It *does* seem if I learned to hate them in this fashion the craving for them would dissipate.  But, with sincerity.... I do not think there *is* a way for me to actually create a despising heart for my pipes nor denounce pipe tobacco.  
• I made a crock-pot of kidney beans (from dry kidney beans) the other day.  I focused on flavoring them with rosemary and garlic plus of course smaller amounts of other items.  They turned out very tasty (I really enjoy rosemary).  
• I cannot remember if I wrote about this already, but I made a cardamon and honey cake and frosted it with lemon frosting a few days ago.  It was my first attempt at making a cake with cardamom.  It was good.... but in my next go around with it, I will likely double (or perhaps triple) the amount of cardamom I use.  As usual, my recipe was something I made up in my head.... so as such, sometimes it is a bit of trial and error.  I suspect though that doubling or tripling the cardamom will make the cake be just as I envisioned.  
• I miss carrying a lighter in my pocket while at work.  I could do so, I guess, but it just seems rather superfluous to do so, since I do not have a pipe to light.  

I don't know.  I guess that is just a scattering of my thoughts.

PipeTobacco

PCS Variations

 

When I last posted last Wednesday, I was in the midst of some fairly mild PCS ratings (hovering in the 3 or 4 range).  The last several days have been a mix of very busy days, trying to fit in all sorts of needed activities, including:

• lots of cyborging for class (as usual)
• tending to the wounds on my wife from her skin visit a while back
• practicing the music for band
• helping out the kids on several of their various projects
• trying to help my mother-in-law, who I think may be starting to enter into either dementia or Alzheimers.... she is becoming profoundly unable to remember day-to-day things.  We have an appointment scheduled with her physician
• yard work
• getting gardening efforts lined up
• a small U related trip to a meeting about 3 hours away... but the six hours of driving and the three hour meeting ended up taking up the whole day
  
• trying to get my home computer to function more swiftly (defragging, etc)
• working with my research students (at the start of a semester, there tends to be need for a lot more individual time with them (especially the new  research students)

So.... busy.... yes... but nothing horrendously traumatic, not excessively stressful..... just a busy time.  But, lo and behold, Friday... especially Friday afternoon was an extremely high PCS day:

My PCS score was definitely at 10 on Friday.  Every moment of the day, I deeply wanted to have a pipe. Hell.... that last sentence is really a true understatement of that earlier part of the day.... I truly wanted a pipe more than my breakfast... and I was damn hungry.  I wanted a pipe more than staying in bed.... and I was tired.   However, it became even more intense.

But, by the time it reached Friday afternoon, the desire was such that I was not able to focus on nearly anything other than wanting to grab one of my pipes and tobaccos.  When I arrived home from the U, I actually went and filled a pipe with strong burley leaf, and tested and filled one of my Zippo pipe lighters, and headed out to the back yard.  My mind was fixed completely on the pipe and how I was going to experience my pipe again.  

When I sat, though, I was angry at myself, because I DID NOT want to have this experience be so frenetic, so "feverishly" driven, so feeling almost compulsive.  I wanted a return to be beautiful, and delightfully calm, be richly flavorful and mentally relaxing.  

I ended up forcing myself to go for a walk.... thinking I would walk for a half an hour, and if I still felt as I did, I would fire up my pipe.... even if it was not the beautiful, magical experience I had envisioned for a return.  

When I returned from the walk, a bit of the desperate desire I had appeared to have dissipated a little bit.  I still would have loved smoking a pipe... but I did not feel the utter compulsion to do so.  So, I put the pipe back in my pipe rack.

I DO NOT know why the pipe desire came on SO VERY strongly on Friday, and I am not sure why it kept persisting and would not lessen for so long.  And, yes, I had ran a full 10.2 miles (~16.5 km) early on Friday morning. The strength of the desire increased so very rapidly and intensely that it took me off guard.   I believe it was the MOST intensive desire I have had for my pipe since the six weeks of Lent over three years ago.... when I first laid down my pipes.  Sometimes I wonder if I am just fooling myself here on this effort?  

* * * * *

Yesterday, I ran my May 1/2 Marathon run (13.2 miles (~21km)) and today I ran 10.2 miles ( ~16.5 km).  

So, that is a total of 23.4 miles (~38 km) in two days.  I am glad about that.

Not much else to say, I guess.

 PipeTobacco

 

Not Present, Nor Prescient

 

(PCS = 4)

Today is turning out to be pretty damn much a vacuous day.  If I could focus, I might be able to rustle up discouragement at this.  But, I feel just as if I am drifting/coasting.

• I did run 10.2 miles this morning, however.  I had to get them done.  Yesterday, I had to break my run into two parts because I did not have enough time, so I forced myself to add a bit more to atone for the breaking the run into to parts.  Yesterday's TOTAL mileage was 11.2 miles.
• So, the combined effort of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday this week has had me thus far run 31.6 miles (~51km).  Not too horribly shabby across three days.

I think I am just going to say "to-hell-with-it" in terms of U work today.  I am actually caught up and ahead of things for once.  I think I will:

a)  perhaps go get a haircut

b)  unpack, uncover, set out the backyard furniture.  

c)  maybe I will go do some picture hanging and fussy house related tasks I have been meaning to get done.

d)  maybe I will start working on dismantling/refurbishing an old metal clarinet that has been sitting, waiting for me in the basement to begin working on. It looks like a piece of trash currently, but underneath all the tarnish, grunge, and film, I think it will turn out pretty beautiful.  And, relining and repairing the case will be enjoyable too.  It is similar to the model in the photo above..... but in just a little bit worse shape (especially the case).  

I am awfully glad my pipe craving score has been lower yesterday and today (3 & 4) respectively.  It is much easier when it is at those levels.  I still think about pipes and pipe smoking at those levels, but it is a general, happier feeling that is involving a lot of remembrance of wonderful times in the past and almost vicariously being able to think through them and relive them to some small degree.  When my pipe craving score hits 6 or higher, that is a far more difficult experience.  Not only do I end up thinking about my pipes and pipe tobaccos, but there is a longing or a desire that is deep and yearning to feel the textures of the smoke, to taste the flavors, to experience the relaxation of the indulgence, to feel its beauty and magic permeate me.  When I get a to an 8 or more, it is a tremendous amount of effort that I have to put forth to keep from indulging.    3's and 4's are a helluva lot easier.... almost like a vacation.  It has been just a tad over 3.33 years now since I have experienced the joy of a pipe. 

 PipeTobacco 

Vomitorium

 

(PCS = 3)

I have always enjoyed words.  I was (and still am) a voracious reader.  And, in my reading.... I would read damn near anything.  But, I must admit that by far the "big three" types of works I gravitate towards the most are:

1.  Novels..... I still tend to be especially fond of classic science fiction (but definitely not the IMO nonsensical pseudoscientific "fantasy" fiction), dystopian fiction, detective novels, and psychological novels.  

2.  Biographies.... my collection of Hemingway biographies is the one collection I enjoy the most.  But, I enjoy biographies of most writers, scientists, artists, photographers, and even some historical politicians.  

3.  Textbooks.... of course, biological subjects top this list, but I also read a fairly hefty number of music theory texts, psychology texts, and art and photography texts.  

The word "vomitorium" was introduced to me (and my class) back when I was in very early junior high school by one of my especially creative teachers.  He was the first male school teacher I had experienced. He wrote the word on the board, and I and the other male students (a few girls as well, but not nearly as many) started to chuckle, whisper, and smile about the word.  It hit all the right "gross-out" spots for us boys at that time, for a grand word to use.  

We of course, presumed that it was some sort of device or jar or some such thing in which to collect vomit.  But, after we talked a bit about the presumed definition with the teacher, he had us each look up the word in the dictionary:

vomitorium -  a passage situated below or behind a tier of seats in an amphitheater or a stadium, through which big crowds can exit rapidly at the end of a performance

Some of the kids in class were disappointed by the above definition, and others really didn't give a damn anyway, so they could not care less. But, I truly found it fascinating and it helped to enrich my pleasure at finding new words because now my appreciation for the etymology of words had grown.  Knowing of the origins of words helps to better understand their meaning and impact.  

I guess, I am telling the above back-story, because of a word I have a tendency to like using.... but the odd aspect of the word's etymology is that there are TWO distinctly different definitions for the word (multiple definitions is not particularly strange).... and (here is the strange part)... both definitions are polar opposites of each other!!!!!  

The word that I really enjoy working into a sentence here and there is "nonplussed".  And here are the following TWO nearly opposite definitions of what the word means:

1.   nonplussed - surprised and confused so much that they are unsure how to react.

Used in a sentence:  "He would be completely nonplussed and embarrassed at the idea."

 

2.  nonplussed - not disconcerted; unperturbed.

 

Used in a sentence:  "Even though most would be shocked, Harry was nonplussed about the cacophony surrounding him."

 

In my reading into this interesting dichotomy of definitions, I believe definition #1 is likely the older, "more original" of the two definitions.  From what I can discern, definition #2 is primarily used in North American English.  But... that both definitions exist and are used... I find fascinating and wonderfully enjoyable.  And, this in itself further belies the critical significance of understanding words within their context.  

 

PipeTobacco 

  

Pipe Dreams - Middle Age Crisis?

Thus far, an odd sort of day on a number of fronts:

• Been doing a lot of reading about my wife's precancerous spot that was removed.   From everything I have read, it *does* appear that there is nothing to be worried about (like the clinician said).  It was wholly removed and should pose no problem, and as long as we keep abreast of any other spots if they appear, we should be safe according to how the statistics pan out in this regard.  This is a relief, although I can say I am still not 100% convinced, I am feeling more calm about it at this point.  
• I have come to realize that although the woman whom I dislike greatly because of how horrible she was to me is someone I need to be forgiving towards....... she is, regardless, still a sh*th**d and a wholly unpleasant, conniving, and nasty person.  My realization is that I can still be working towards forgiving while at the same time acknowledging to myself (and others if asked) that she is NOT good, kind, or appropriate in any discernible way.  This duality feels helpful towards my efforts to try to forgive.  
• Running was very pleasant this morning.  Warm enough for shorts and a long-sleeved t-shirt (for better sun protection, even at 7:00am) and baseball cap.  First such day this season.  10.2 miles completed.  
• I had a work related meeting that went better than anticipated.  I have also had far fewer "panicky" e-mails from my new students than expected at this part of the semester.  
• Leaving the U, I was powerfully thirsty, so I acquiesced and for only I think the second (perhaps third time) since the pandemic started,  I stopped at the 7-11 I pass on the way home (initially to purchase gasoline).... but also went inside and purchased a fountain pop (Diet Pepsi).  It was wonderfully icy cold and delicious.  But as I was inside, an older fellow.... well, hell.... I shouldn't say that... he was PROBABLY around the same age as me... came inside and was in line ahead of me because it took a bit for me to make my fountain drink.  As we walked out, I saw he was driving a Jeep (traditional Jeep Wrangler), and it was a beautiful red color.  I commented to him how I liked his vehicle and liked the soft top he had (it was a bit unusual in style).  As we were chatting briefly (Jeep folks tend to like to talk.), he also pulled out his pipe from the dashboard area of the vehicle where he had left it.  This of course, caught my attention as you can imagine.  We ended up talking about his Jeep for a few more minutes and then I walked to the gas pumps and put the nozzle back into the pump, as my truck was filled.  

The encounter had me daydreaming on my way home.  I had always wanted a Jeep of my own.  For a period of time, I did have a 1983 Jeep Cherokee (sort of like a station wagon) for a number of years.  I had wanted a Wrangler back then actually too, but did the sensible "Dad" thing, and went with the Cherokee as it was better for a family. Do not get me wrong... it was a great vehicle. But it wasn't a "real" Jeep.  

Seeing the fellow, in my age bracket, unabashedly enjoying his Jeep (it was damn nice looking) and unabashedly smoking his pipe had me feeling a tinge of envy.  Kind of stupid, I know.  But... I suspect I shall be daydreaming about driving around in my own Jeep (red or hunter green or yellow) with a pipe in my hand, for the next several days.   Not sure if I could technically call this a mid-life crisis, as I am too old for such a thing.  But, it does look awfully fun.  Maybe I should look around for a used one and sell my truck?  Hah, it could be the impetus to go back to my pipes.  Hah.  Probably only a pipe dream.

PipeTobacco

 

Brief

 

A brief update.... not feeling capable of writing much:

• My wife's results came in last evening.  One was a plantar wart, three were nothing serious, just "age spots" and one was pre-cancerous.  The doctor assured us that it was completely removed and there is no risk posed.  And, there is not further treatment needed.  But, it is still a bit alarming.  I have to try to looking at these results as good... but part of me is feeling worry about it still.  

•  My wife never has used sunscreen (much to my chagrin) because she has as she says "a darker skin tone".   I sunburn very easily (I am very pale) and am quite fastidious with sunscreen.... all the time... and I am one of "those guys" who will purposefully wear long sleeves in the Summer and always a hat to give myself another layer of protection.  I had one pretty extensive sunburn as a kid, and learned to shy away from a lot of sun since that time.  When sunscreens first became available, I was overjoyed.... but still kept up the long sleeves and hat into perpetuity. The sunscreen, though helps me feel another layer of comfort.
  

• I am feeling terribly wiped out.... physically and emotionally... but truth-be-told, I think most of it is emotional.  I feel I could sleep for days.  My TMJ is acting up, and my emotions vacillate through all different areas of sadness and frustration.  Some of it is about work.  Some of it is about the precancerous lesion removed on my wife.  Some of it the chronic, throbbing, annoying... dull ache in my jawline due to the TMJ... today it is my right side hinge that is irritated.  The dull ache from whatever the hell type of clenching and/or grinding I did with my teeth last night radiates up through my ear and down into my neck as well.  As I have finished my morning food, I decided I had better take two aspirin (I try to avoid this unless the throbbing is REALLY pronounced). This was perhaps an hour ago... no noticeable effect yet.     

• My PCS is a 10 today.  I so very much would like the comfort of a pipe at the moment.  With a full rack of my favorite pipes in the pipe rack/humidor here on the shelf by my desk.... I keep glancing towards them.  I have been fussing with a few of my favorite pipes on the rack as well, and have already opened the top of the humidor canister that is filled with one of my favorite blends and smelled its aroma deeply.  I have even watched that silly snippet of video a few times today that I made in the latter part of the winter where I was pretending to smoke my pipe because my exhaled breath would show frosty and white in the cold air.  The image I have above, though not my own rack, looks a helluva lot like the one on  my desk here.  Some of my other racks/humidors are even more ornate.
  

 I guess that is all I have for today.

 PipeTobacco 

Rough

 Nothing about my wife's results yet.  

PCS - 5

Ran 10.2 miles.  Thinking of trying to run another 2 now to try to dissipate frustration and stress.

But, it has been a difficult day for me.  I became focused on the particularly unkind person who hurt me.  I went into the U early, to get a few things done, and had plans to scoot back home to cyborg there by late morning as I had no meetings or other items on my agenda after I finished with my morning rodent work.  So, it was late morning, and I was was getting ready to head out, and unfortunately I happened to cross paths with this person.  She was just being her "normal" self as I was leaving, but her "normal" just really rubbed me the wrong way... she just oozes "snarky" attitude a lot of the time.... and the other times.... she seems to ooze a very fake "sincerity".  As I was leaving, I heard her talk to a student she was working with about "how she [the nasty woman] worked around the system" which is her basic pattern to get what she wants.  She is perpetually finagling things to try to have EVERYTHING just the ways SHE wants it.... and does not give a royal damn about anyone else.    Her speaking of working around the system just made my blood boil. I think that sort of pushy, obnoxious, trod on anyone who is in your way attitude... is just utter crap.

And, even after I went home, I had a hard time shaking the feelings of frustration and anger toward her today.  So much for my Lenten vow.  I will have to keep trying.

PipeTobacco

A Very Sticky Joint

When I repaired my bass clarinet, I had to "MacGyver" the repair as I did not really have time to dismantle the rods and keys necessary to fully remove the key cup to properly re-glue the errant pad.  Fortunately, the age of my "frankenhorn" was beneficial in this regard, as the original pads were glued into place using a heat-able glue that would set and harden upon cooling.  This particular key cup was deep under a variety of rods and finger keys and would have taken quite a bit of time to reach, and I would have had to dismantle at least four other keys to gain access.  

So, what I did, was... using a thin blade of a butter knife, I re-positioned the original pad appropriately in the key cup.  I had to rotate it so that it would be at the original radian position as well so it fit in all the crevices of the glue that still remained IN the key cup and ON the pad itself ... sort of like interlocking pieces of a puzzle.  I then held the pad in position in the key cup with the knife and then proceeded to use the heated blade end of my wood-burning tool to heat the key cup (it is a nickle plated metal).  I could just barely finagle the heated blade end of my wood-burning tool into position without risk of igniting any nearby corks or pads.  With the hot blade resting on the key cup,  I was able to reheat the glue to a melting temperature.  I then gently pushed and gently twisted the pad (with the butter knife) so that the glue would mix and adhere to the pad.  Upon letting the key cup cool, I tried out the beast, and it worked fine.... at least temporarily. 

At rehearsal last night, I was glad to be able to play again!  Because of COVID restrictions, we are practicing outdoors in a parking lot.  It was awfully damn cold and windy, unfortunately!!!!  The temperature was hovering ~48 degrees (~9 C) and the wind was around 12mph (~20kph).  I and most of the other musicians had on winter coats.  I also wore long-johns as well (insulated, long underwear).  My heavy knit stocking hat was greatly appreciated on my head.  

Because of the cold temperatures..... I unfortunately found another repair need I *should* do.... TWO different rods on my beast (rods are used to attach key cups and position them and to allow them the key cups to pivot closed when pressed) were sticky due to the cold and would not move freely.  This is disastrous when a key cup does not open fully upon release, and resulted in my having more than a few of my notes sound akin to geese squawkings.  I kept trying to warm the errant rods with my palms when not playing, but the warmth from my hands would be shed after only a few minutes after I started playing again. So, I *should* probably dismantle the two rods and clean and re-lubricate them just in case it is again very cold next week.  

+ + +

Ran 10.2 miles this morning.  There was frost on the ground on many areas of the trail this morning.  The grandmother and young girl were not out this morning.  But, an elderly fellow I see fairly often was out making his rounds.  This fellow is an elderly fellow, somewhere in his mid-80s and is a Korean War Veteran (he always wears one of his several hats that say this).  He walks in a very prescribed fashion down the trail and has in one hand a plastic bag, and in the other a "grabber" tool.  As he walks, if he sees any discarded trash or debris he will pick it up with the "grabber" and collect it in his bag.  Once when I was running past him, I thanked him for his work in picking up litter, and he told me he liked doing it because it gave him a feeling of purpose and gave him something to do while walking.  

 + + +

I had a somewhat odd, small snippet of a dream that I recalled vividly from last night.  In the dream, I was tooling around, driving in the old Volkswagen Rabbit Diesel car I owned many decades ago, and yet, I was my current, old, curmudgeonly self.  I was smoking one of my full-bent briar pipes.  And, there was no sound, no real background scenery, it was just a silent sort of "video" of myself that I was viewing in the dream.... just driving and smoking my pipe. 

PipeTobacco 

New Day

 

(PCS = 7)

I am working to put a more positive spin on my emotions today and hope to keep focusing on things in this light into the future.  

+ + +

1.  We have yet to receive any news/updates about my wife.  She had five "spots" removed from her skin and they are being analyzed.  From my knowledge about skin cancers, they do not "fit" any classic forms of this condition, but they were worrisome non-the-less.  Her wounds are healing acceptably at the moment.  Unfortunately, our doctor is one of those types that says "if you do not hear back, everything is fine".  The ambiguity of such a clinical approach is not helping to reduce our stresses, so I am trying to coax my wife into calling the doctor, perhaps as early as tomorrow since it  has been 8 days by tomorrow morning.  

2.  Working mostly on cyborgy things for the upcoming new semester's class at the moment.  It is going adequately, although I would be much farther ahead if the U's IT had not mistakenly changed some settings in the U's system that made it impossible to create audio/video lectures when I tried to do so yesterday.  It has now been resolved, so I have been making several all morning.  They are now uploading (in their slow as usual pace) but they should be processed by perhaps this evening, I hope.

3.  I ran 10.2 miles (16.5 km) this morning.  As you know, the last few weeks have been more of a chore for me in terms of running.  I did all my typical ~54 miles (87 km) each of those weeks, but my heart really wasn't into it.  Today, I tried to approach the start of the run with thoughts of how appreciative I should be that I *can* now do this, and appreciative that the weather was dry and temperatures were above freezing (it was 36 degrees (~2 C)).   And, I decided to use the two gimmicky toys I guiltily allowed myself to splurge on a little over a week ago (a ~$18 set of wireless earphones, and a $10 phone phone holder/strap for my arm) that allowed me to listen to both the Capuchin Mass from yesterday and also to listen to my Pandora (CSN & Y channel this morning) while I ran outside.

4.  Even though it was very early morning when I ran, there were a few people out and about this morning on the trails.  There is a section where I cross over the same part of the path several times during the particular run pattern I used today.  A grandmother had a very young little girl (perhaps about three to four years old) were playing in the field near the trail with her when I ran past the first time.  As I do whenever I pass someone when I am running, I wave, smile and say hello as I run past.  On the second time I went through that region the grandmother smiled and hollered out to me that the little girl thought I was Santa, which tickled me no end.  So,  each time I passed again after that, I let out a hearty "Ho! HO! Ho!" while running.  And, the little girls squealed and laughed each time.  It was very cute and fun to hear her.  I may be getting "whitish enough" in my beard and mustache (not as gunmetal grey) to really succeed at Santa school someday! 

5.  After I finished my run, I went inside and got the dog.  Since early Winter, she had not really had much in the way of exercise other than running around in the house and running around in the backyard.  So, I thought it was time to ease her back into longer walks with me, and hopefully... possibly some more short parts of my runs with me.  I am a little hesitant in some regard about her running, as she is now 8 years old and will be 9 in July.  But, she has loved running with me for the last couple of years, and I would have her run with me for one, two or three miles of my total.  I am going to start with walking her for a few weeks and see how she does.  We walked 1.2 miles (~ 2km) on the trails this morning, and she loved it.  She enjoys seeing all the "new" to her stuff.    

6.  When I went to band last week, I was playing my bass clarinet to warm it up, and about a minute before the rehearsal was to begin, a pad fell out from one of the keys on my instrument. And unfortunately, it was one of the pads under a key that required dismantling to re-glue and reinsert.   So, at rehearsal, I ended up not playing at all..... but practiced my fingerings while the rest of the people were playing.  I repaired the errant pad and should be good to go tonight.  My horn is a "frankenhorn" if you recall.... I pieced it together from a few well battered and worn bass clarinets that were being junked and I cobbled my beast from the various parts I could salvage.  This was perhaps 25 or so years ago.  The pad that had fallen out and became unglued was an original style pad, and was more likely than not the original one on that key on the horn, and was probably from when that part of my bass clarinet was built which I was able to estimate was made originally in the early 1960s.  So, I cannot complain.... it did its job.  It was the classic, reddish/orange leather color.  The other half of the long body from my bass clarinet hearkens to a much more recent time.... by the serial number on that part, it was perhaps built around 1965 or so. The horns were school band instruments and received very ROUGH abuse until they were discarded by the schools and became my rebuilt, "frankenhorn" treasure.  :)  

7.   I even found some happiness in my pipe cravings.  They are still pretty strong at the moment.  I would relish taking a deep, pleasant draw from the stem of one of my pipes, perhaps with the bowl filled with Sir Walter Raleigh today.  But, twice last week at Mass (one in person on Sunday, and one of the Capuchin videos) there was mention of the value of "pruning" in the readings.  The idea that pruning back growth to force more substantial growth appeals to me.  I am of a mindset that I may be in a process of pruning away parts of myself to help myself grow to be a better and more kind and perhaps more productive person.  I have been trying to prune away the branches of anger and resentment towards those two who you know hurt me, and now I am thinking perhaps my refraining from the pipe is a type of pruning, and perhaps in some meaningful way, I may be able to return to smoking my pipes if I think of a pruned, meaningful method.  And, as you know from the top of my post, I am trying to prune away some of the negative feelings I recognize as well.  

PipeTobacco

51 Years Ago

 

It was 51 years ago that the horrible, violent tragedy happened on the campus of Kent State University.  Even though I only saw it on the news, it was and is a hugely vivid memory of mine.  It significantly impacted my thoughts of life, of college, of social justice and many other things.  

Here is a background link for those not familiar with this tragedy.  

• Ran 9.4 miles this morning in heavy rain.
• I have been cyborging grades and papers and assignments all day long.
• My wife is doing "ok" but we are awaiting results.
• My PCS score is a "7" today.  Actually, I would probably say an "8" but I have forced myself to ignore it and to try to stay focused on the work I damn well need to get done.  

PipeTobacco

Long Day, Shorter Post

 A busy, hard, and exhausting day:

• Ran my 9 miles in the rain at 5:30am
• Dried off and changed clothes and started cyboring grading papers and assignments
• Spent all day cyborging the grading of papers and assignments
• My wife called me around noon and was in a really difficult emotional mood.  She was angry at her sister (on the surface) but was actually more angry at herself.  It was difficult trying to figure out how to help, but not have her feel even more emotional.
• More cyborging the grading of papers and assignments.
• My wife is now at an early evening doctor's appointment. She is nervous about the visit as am I.  
• Not sure if we are going to have band practice or not.  It is wet and we have to practice outside.  It is also colder too.  But, I have not heard of it being cancelled yet.  
• My Pipe Craving Score (PCS) is at a higher than desired "8".... both for its soothing comfort, but also from nervousness and also my headache from cyborging all day.  
  

PipeTobacco