.Renewal & Living "Large"
As many of you who cared enough to send me an e-mail have realized, my postings tend to plummet during times of stress and/or anxiety. Such has been the case the last few weeks. Family health issues have been very troublesome and debilitating to my soul. The one thing I have been able to do during this time is to return to "getting inside" my own mind to allow myself to think more broadly. This has been the relatively positive aspect of my life these past few weeks. The remainder of the time has been spent in worry, fear, and utter saddness.... huge torrents of tears streaming down my cheeks and into my beard and moustache.
I have decided enough is enough.
I am going to desperately try to climb back to where I once was... out of this pit of sorrow and grief... to a point once again where I can live "large" as the kids these days so like to say. The methods I shall employ in my struggle to get back to my old way of life (a life I am missing) is the following (not listed in any particular order):
1. I WILL begin to post daily essays again! To write my thoughts in this medium is good for my life. Whether it is to praise, or to rant and rave, the quick burst of writing I do not only helps my friends and students keep abreast of my life, but also helps me to clear my head a bit so new thoughts can permeate through. I SHALL even vow to attempt at least a short post each day during the WEEKENDS too!
2. I will once again explore the beauty if life through through my pipes. During the last several weeks as I lost my foothold on happiness and joy in life my pipe remained a friend, yet I diminished her range of friendship for me. During these last several weeks I lost the will to survey all she can offer... and only actually smoked one particiular pipe, and only smoked the rather plain and very simple Prince Albert brand of pipe tobacco. No flavored leaves, no robust Sir Walter Raleigh, no anything to let me explore away from my mind of sorrow.
3. I will once again, starting Friday morning, take up my old habit of walking a minimum of 5 miles each day. I believe I last walked in this manner roughly at the middle of May and I can feel the effects of giving up on that hobby. The walking helps me to shed stress hormones, tones my musculature, and helps me feel content and happy. Since mid-May, the struggles of life caused me to believe the activity was superfulous and selfish. It is not, for it is to me like food or a vitamin.
4. Likewise, I plan to renew with vigor the times I spend with my elderly father-in-law, and may also branch out to finding new pals at a local watering hole or two. The comaraderie and kindred spirits brighten my life.
5. I plan to "bed" my wife again as often as she will permit. During the last several weeks, our copulatory frequency has dwindled significantly... not due to a decreased interest on her part.... but due to my own mental/emotional anguish.
6. I plan to take to reading novels again. I let that slide in my life about a year ago, and I find that I miss it enormously. Sometimes it will be a "great book" by a master like Steinbeck or Hemingway, but just as often it may be a "trashy" sort of crime novel such as by Lawrence and others. It is wonderful to get caught up in the story.
7. I am gong to work to make my research again a time of play for me. Usually it is... for I get to study and play with various beasts (rats, mice, fish etc), but lately I have only been going through the motions.
That is it in a nutshell. I hope that I have not destroyed my readership, but fear I may have. Please give me a chance and watch me work out of this hole I have dug myself into. To help in this matter, I have two favors I am asking of you, my readers:
A. Please come back and continue to read here. I vow to post often and interestingly.
B. If you can manage it, please let others know of my site and encourage them to give me a try. Perhaps you can mention me on your own blog, or perhaps in talking or commenting with other blog friends.
Thank you. I hope to be back up to snuff with these changes.