Gavel/Planet/Pipe

Part of me is anxious to the brim.  Part of me is just resigned.  I am tired, worn out, and exhausted.

Tonight BEGINS the minimum of two weeks of Jury Service.  The following is my new routine:

1.  I must call the courthouse each evening, around 7pm to see if I need to report the next day.  

2.  Regardless of the outcome of that call, I then have to write e-mails to all of my students in all of my classes about the details of what the "plan" will be for the next day.  

3.  If I do not have service, the day will be as "normal". (And I will have done a sh*tl**d of extra work for nothing.)

4.  If I do have service, I have to a) link one or more of the video lectures I have been creating (in my "spare" time since before Christmas) to my electronic classroom, b) try to pin down potential "Zoom" office hours I may be able to hold in the evening to make up for missed regular office hours, and c) fill out idiotic paperwork for the administration of my "absence" so that it can be submitted each day.

5.  I also have to have plans for what I can do regarding my evenings as well.  I need to be at band each week, I should try to continue the church group during this period of time, and I paid for the non-refundable guitar lessons (signed up and paid before knowing about damnable jury duty).... so I should do that with my wife as well.  

6.  I called the courthouse and asked for a return call.... because NOWHERE on their damnable website does it say what I can BRING with me to the damn courthouse.  I do not know if I can bring a laptop with me to potentially TRY to do work while I sit around in a throng of people all waiting around to do 

But, if I do get called in consistently.... even my best laid plans will potentially spiral out of control.  The plans and enacting them make me feel exhausted just thinking about them.  

And, because there are vague ambiguities about what TIME I need to report (again, only revealed the evening before) on days I do serve.... this leaves me rather ambiguous and frustrated about what impact this may have on my running as well.  I am fearful that b*llsh*t timing issues with the courthouse will make it extremely hard for me to get to the 50+ miles (80+ km) I need to stay on track with my vows/goals.  I am a bit worried I may have to have some/many shorter days and be forced to try to compensate to get my miles in by running on both Saturday and Sunday.  That too sounds exhausting.

* * * * *
So, I do not feel "chipper" at the moment.  I feel actually rather aggravated..... 9 damnable times !!!!

* * * * * 

Perhaps our hardest new piece in band that has me a bit nervous is Gustav Holst's "Jupiter".  Do not get me wrong.... it is an absolutely beautiful piece... and even if you do not know a lot of classical music, I suspect you will recognize this piece.  But, to be frank, it is in some ways testing my skills and abilities in new ways.  

I do love the song, however.  My favorite part begins around the 1:30 mark in the above video if you want to see my favorite section of the whole beautiful work. The last minute of the video is ALSO especially worth a listen.  It is a cacophony of beautiful sounds... but my part and the speed of the tempo of that section feel awfully damn difficult... and the limits of my meager abilities may be exceeded. 

* * * * * 

I would also like to spend time discussing the deep pipe tobacco longing I am feeling, but at some level I believe folks tire of hearing me whine and complain about it, so I have been trying to be more "frugal" in my discussion of the pipe.  I could meander and muse about every minutia of the avocation that I crave,  desire, want, wish I was immersed into, and all the recollections of the beautiful past memories of my active participation from my memory banks. I do, I believe, need to let those thoughts, feelings, and memories out, at least on occasion.... because they build and build if I do not.  Talking about them keeps things more even-keeled.     

PipeTobacco

Orange Marmalade

I admit freely to being almost "Paddington-like" in my fondness for orange marmalade.  In my region, however, it is sadly NOT particularly popular.  The grocery stores in my neck of the woods MAY have one brand of orange marmalade, but even that it is rather sketchy much of the time.  It is EXTREMELY rare that a restaurant may have a packet, let alone a jar of orange marmalade.  The restaurants here universally have grape (yawn) and strawberry (similar yawn).  A (very) few "adventuresome" restaurants here have raspberry (pleasant) or occasionally apple "butter" (also pleasant).... but orange marmalade.... I think the last time I saw it at a restaurant in my locale.... was perhaps 5-6 years ago.  

This past Sunday, I casually spent a few minutes looking on-line a bit for some "fancier" orange marmalades.  There appear to be several brands I could potentially order.  When I get a bit more time and have seen the range of what could be ordered, I think I will order 2-3 jars to try them out.  But, last night, while falling asleep... and yes, I was imagining a beautiful memory of smoking a pipe..... that memory was of some Sir Walter Raleigh I was smoking in a simple Dr. Grabow pipe (dublin shaped) while I was an undergraduate and driving to a potential graduate school I was considering applying to.  That road trip was memorable and peaceful.  And, the Sir Walter Raleigh was just so damn pleasant that words cannot adequately describe how it enhanced this trip.  But, back to the relevant aspect...... last night, while falling asleep (and thinking about the pipe).... I also thought about my search for orange marmalade..... and I wondered to myself.... "I wonder if anyone makes a GRAPEFRUIT marmalade that I could purchase?!?!?"  

Since I find pure delight in grapefruit.... I thought that if such a marmalade exists, it would surely be a top favorite as well.  So, when I get back to perusing the orange marmalade.... I am going to sneak around a bit and see if there are grapefruit marmalades as well!  

PipeTobacco   

Brux - Antibrux

 

Some some of you may have thought my title was a "typo" and I was going to talk about the UK and Brexit.

However, folks know I have TMJ.... temporomandibular jaw disorder.  My bite splints often help.  But, in the last year there have been times where I also needed a bite sock... a literal sock (clean) that I bite on with my front teeth that helps me not clench my teeth while sleeping.  

Bruxing is the grinding of the teeth which is what I can/do do while sleeping and is shown in the above.  Clenching is a bit different in that it does not involve the lateral motion and am just rigidly holding my teeth together with brute force while sleeping (It is sort of akin to what it feels like if you very strenuously work to clench your hands as in a fist.).  

Both bruxing and clenching have been issues with my development of TMJ approaching 50 years ago.

A strange thing has been happening the last couple of weeks.  It actually started perhaps 4 weeks ago, where I would sometimes spit out my bite sock while sleeping.  I started spitting it out very regularly.... so much so that I have decided to forgo the bite sock these last two weeks.  I still use the bite splint.  

The strange thing is that in the morning, the front of my tongue would be dry and a bit uncomfortable.  It would go away after a bit, especially after drinking some water or coffee in the morning.  But, what I am realizing has happened, is that somehow, I have began to (or trained myself to) NOT naturally clench my teeth.  But, unfortunately, what appears to have also occurred is that I may have a relaxed bite, but now I am leaving my mouth OPEN when I sleep.  I do not believe I am breathing through my mouth, as most of my tongue is moist when I awaken.  

What I WISH I could do would be to relax my jaw, but also keep my mouth closed (lips closed).  If I could figure out how to do that when I sleep, my TMJ would disappear.  As it stands now, the TMJ has not flared up the last couple of weeks.... but the dry, uncomfortable tongue is rather not what I want either. There is a new device that seems potentially promising that I am investigating and may discuss further in the future if I decide to get it.  It could help me not clench nor brux.... and potentially would have me keep my lips closed as well.  

* * * * * 

• 10.1 miles (~16km) this morning.
• Friday was WONDERFUL AND FUN!  My SIL and her husband were wonderful to have over and we had a great time of laughing and playing cards!  I ended up eating ONE piece of pizza.  And, I enjoyed TWO of the IPAs as well.  Even though the TWO IPAs did have me reminiscing very fondly for my pipes and pipe tobaccos.... my shaky resolve was intact enough to keep me from starting the "experiment" of whether or not I could have a pipe at home without "falling off the wagon".
• Band tonight should be a lot of fun.  We have a sizable number of songs we are working through.   We will of course have a few concerts.... but we are working through some more challenging pieces because our group is also going to participate in our state music competition festival with these pieces.  The festival attracts community bands from across the state.... we are not really in competition with each other.... instead we go there to play before various music education professionals who offer us feedback on our strengths and also on ways we could improve.  That will occur in about two months from now.  
• While I was lecturing about the developmental processes behind mammalian cloning research today, my mind drifted far afield and I was thinking more in my imagination about how beautiful a bowl of Prince Albert pipe tobacco would taste.  It had always been a staple of mine, and was perhaps the most primary pipe tobacco I used to smoke on campus in my office and in my research labs.  It is so pleasant an experience.  It seemed odd to actually be focusing on that in my imagination while simultaneously lecturing about the processes of cloning.  

PipeTobacco

Raucous!

As many of you know, I love words that are a bit more "nuanced" than the typical run-of-the mill words.  I have an "ear" for these words and tend to remember them when I hear or read them and enjoy using them to pepper my speech. 

"Raucous" is a word that I find quite delightful.  The formal, technical definition of "raucous" is

- making or constituting a disturbingly harsh and loud noise

 

However, the colloquial use of the word is so much broader.  It is contextually often used to denote a rather noisy party-ish sort of mindset one may have.  In the sentence below, this type of sentiment is akin to what I am attempting:

"I am hoping and planing to have a raucous, good time this evening!"

And, I believe that the above will be true.  My wife and I are planning to have my SIL and her husband (of course my BIL) over late this afternoon to chat and play Euchre.... and to at least eat snacks if not consume the ethereal delight formally called PIZZA.  I will try my damnedest though to limit myself to one slice... maybe.... just maybe TWO if my wife gets it with Italian Sausage. It is always delightful when they come over for we get to talk and laugh and have a very fun time also at Euchre. I will likely also have a beer or so while playing, which will further enhance the fun.     

Back in early December, while buying supplies for our Christmas celebration with folks, I purchased some wonderful bottles of an IPA called "Two Hearted Ale" which I was introduced to for the first time perhaps 2-3 years ago at a scientific meeting I was presenting at where it was one of the featured beers I could use my free drink ticket on at one of the evening events.  I had never seen it before, but being a biologist, I appreciated the label, as did many of the other biology cohorts at this meeting.  It appeared to be the most popular selection of the various libations we had to select from.  

It was a truly WONDERFUL IPA.  It was incredibly robust and "hoppy" in flavor with a deep, malt-like texture and flavor as well.  It was so wonderful that I kept the bottle cap as a momento of sorts to remember it more specifically.  

Well, back to Christmas.... because of a variety of circumstances (illnesses and conflicts) our gathering had a few folks missing.... including the folks who would appreciate the beauty of this IPA who I had ear marked purchasing this for.  We do not have many drinkers of alcohol in our family, and of the few who do, none are heavy drinkers in our broad family. And in that small pool of folks who will occasionally drink, we do not have many folks who appreciate IPAs either.  So, for the non-teetotaler folks who would enjoy a beer, I also bought some traditional, typical (read as... "blah") beer that they like.... for them (Bud Light).  At Christmas, three of the six Bud Light were consumed by folks.  None of the six "Two Hearted Ale" bottles were consumed.  I ended up not consuming an IPA (nor one of the "blah" bottles either) because I had wanted it to be a shared experience with the folks (who ended up being sick).  

But.... I am GOING to have one of those "Two Hearted Ale" bottles this afternoon!  It will be a beautiful, celebratory beer referencing my funded grant! Hell, I may even have TWO!  

If I feel like being truly raucous..... perhaps.... just perhaps...  I will even allow myself to have THREE.  But, I do not know....  I have a very sneaking suspicion that my resolve about not smoking a pipe at home might evaporate if I were to indulge in three of these delicious IPAs.  

It is odd.... now that in the nearly six years I have refrained from smoking my pipe (well, other than the TWO delightful exceptions..... one bowlful at Iwan Reis in Chicago... and one at the cemetery on my Father's 100th Birthday).... I am not sure if having a pipe at home.... could be a one-time thing or if it would be the event akin to the final drop of water to make the dam burst..... and I would fall back into my prior patterns of indulgence of the beautiful leaf.  

But, we shall see how it goes.  No matter what, I am hoping for a wonderful time!  

Now, to get a helluva lot of paperwork and writing off my desk this morning.  Some grading..... a lot more Institutional Review Board nonsense..... and also two different meetings.... before I can work on my classes for next week.  

* * * * *

Oh.... I DID stomp out my miles today and have hit the minimum 50 miles (~80km) I aim for each week.  So.... my tired hooves can rest Saturday and Sunday!

PipeTobacco

Again.... Bushed!

 I just finished my last big voice lecture for the week!  My voice is damn tired.  But I was able to maintain my enthusiasm and the vigor in my voice and in my actions through all 5 hours! What else..... 

• Ran a pleasant 10 miles (~16km) this morning!  Even though I truly struggled to roust myself from the bed this morning.... once I got to the track, it felt very good.  
• I anticipate Thursdays will be a challenge in regard to getting out of bed for the next several weeks because on Wednesday my wife and I are involved in a Parish group that is learning new things about the Eucharist.  This class does not end until 9:00pm.... which makes for a late night considering we eat dinner after the class.... and even if we have damn near everything ready.... we usually do not sit down until about 9:30 due to travel, changing clothes (into pajamas) and pottying the dog, and getting little odds and ends of food finalized. 
• Eating that late also means I am not actually TIRED at my usual, hoped for bedtime of 11:00pm, but will often stay up until midnight or even perhaps 1:00am before I feel appropriately "ready" for sleep.  

The later sleep time makes it pretty damn rough trying to roll out of bed at 5:00am in order to go run.  So, today, I ended up NOT getting out of bed until 5:45am... which made me arrive at the indoor track later as well.... throwing off my day a bit.  

* * * * * 

• Guitar lesson #2 this evening.  The first one was fun, but my wife and I did not practice as much as we should have.  We are going to try to have a last minute "jam session" of practicing before we head to the lesson.  It is all VERY simple stuff at the moment for both my wife and I... but it is being taught in a rather different and meaningful way that is giving me a valuable, different perspective than I previously could glean from just reading instruction books on the guitar myself.  
• We are thinking of perhaps going out for a simple dinner tonight so we will not have a bunch of food prep chores when we get home from the lesson.  A Sub Sandwich sounds really good to me.  If we do go to the locally owned Sub Shop.... I will likely get a turkey on a rye bun, with NO cheese, and as many and as much vegetation as I can convince the sandwich builder to insert between the two layers of bread.  I coax and cajole the fellows (who know me and my proclivities) into NOT being puny with the vegetation.  Lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, olives (black and green), onions, green peppers, spinach, arugula, mushrooms, banana peppers, artichokes, radish slices and any additional surprise vegetation they may have on hand.  I often, with just a hint of doleful cadence in my voice, ask them to please ADD more and more vegetation.  This usually IS successful and my sub will eventually become pleasantly chubby.   It will be topped with lots of ground pepper and a little bit of honey mustard.   We will see if my wife is in a sub mood or not.  She does not appreciate them as much as I do. 
• One other "odd" thing about the Parish group yesterday.  We have only been there a relatively short while, and last night TWO people approached me during a break in our discussion, suggesting to me that I should consider training to be either a "Lay Minister" or a married "Deacon".  It is odd, for folks in this group barely know me.  But, I have been told this same thing a surprising number of times over the years at various parish, diocesan or regional Catholic functions of many sorts.... even from a few strangers I had never met before the day they suggested this.  It is just odd.  
  

PipeTobacco

Yes....

 

 

The grant I wrote a while back..... I was just notified that it was fully funded!  That pleases me. 

This should set up much of my research work for at least two years.  So, this is quite good news.  Less scrambling about for smaller grants.  

• I forgot to mention, that I DID run my usual 10 miles yesterday (~16 km).  This morning, I ran 11.3 miles (~18 km).  
• It has been just a smidge above freezing for at least a small part of the day the last couple of days.  Temperatures at or even just a hint above freezing are SO MUCH more comfortable than what we had last week which was near zero (F) (~ -18C) and wind chills worse than that.   This week is feeling veritably "balmy".  I even had a few students wearing shorts in class.  
  

I would like to have a pipe and a beer this Friday to celebrate my grant, especially if I could talk with my FIL.  But, I will have to settle for the beer.  Hah, that is..... unless perhaps IF I allow myself to have 2-3 beers this Friday... it my loosen up my resolve enough that I might say "to hell with it" and have a pipe anyway.   

I leave you with a quiz.... I wonder if anyone will correctly figure out the association of the image I used on my entry today. There IS a logical (albeit a bit convoluted) reason.... I guarentee.  I would be tickled if someone DOES figure it out though. 

LOOMING

I cannot recall if I have talked about this before, but.... SOON..... I will be in the throes of chaos in that I will begin my 9th damnable time ( NINE TIMES!!!!!! ) to be required to do JURY DUTY.  Please do not take this wrong way:

• Jury Duty is IMPORTANT.
• Jury Duty is everyone's responsibility.
  

BUT..... it is not MY RESPONSIBILITY to do this NINE TIMES!!!!!!!! My wife was called once.  I know many people who were never called.  I have siblings who were never called.  My Mom was called once, my Dad was called once.  

Jury Service can be relatively interesting, or it can be dull like dry toast.  It is not hard........ BUT is is REALLY DAMNABLY HARD being forced to do Jury Service in the middle of a semester.  It makes life chaos.  It makes me have to work to make a variety of backup plans.  I am making electronic lectures "just in case" my group gets called so my student do not fall behind.  But, if I am not called, I need to go in and teach anyway..... so it is really requiring me to do TWICE the work no matter what for all five of my classes.  

Please let me know if the following makes any sense to you:

• In my neck of the woods.....FULL TIME COLLEGE STUDENTS can AUTOMATICALLY defer their Jury Service to times that are not part of the semester's courses.  
• In my neck of the woods..... the FULL TIME COLLEGE PROFESSORS WHO TEACH STUDENTS cannot defer their Jury Service.  

The "logic" of the above eludes me. And, unfortunately, it is not really possible to have a "substitute" professor in the vast majority of college classes, because the subject matter is often super specialized and there really are not a helluva lot if any stray, unemployed or underemployed folks with my specialization to agree to "sub pay".  

When K-12 teachers require a "substitute", there is at least a higher possibility for there to be an actual teacher who does not have or may not want a full-time classroom.... but would like to substitute teach on occasion.  But, even when that is possible for a K-12 teacher, it still tends to be rather disruptive to him/her and is not ideal.  And.... in some districts, "sub pay" is so atrociously low that no teacher unemployed or otherwise would take the job.... and many states have started to allow undergraduate college students with as little as 1 or 2 years of college classes to substitute.  That makes the use of a "sub" even more chaotic for the K-12 teacher and they usually have to do extensive classroom triage when they return. 

I remember the first time I was called to Jury Service.  At that time, smoking was still permitted in the Courthouse.  I remember sitting in the corner,  quietly smoking my pipe and reading journal articles and a novel much of the time. This first time of service was when I was in graduate school, and I had a research assistantship that semester, so it was not the challenge it would have been if I had been on a teaching assistantship that semester.  I was actually focusing on much of the writing for my dissertation at that time, so it was not even too cumbersome in the lab.  

Speaking of pipes.... here are some truisms I know I hold true for me:

• pipes are often very beautiful works of art (corncobs, IMO, may be an exception 😁)
• I cannot ever recall finding the actual smoking of any of my pipes or pipe tobaccos unpleasant in any fashion.  Every bowlful was a vivid, pleasing experience.  Well, maybe I am incorrect.... perhaps there is one time that was a bit less than pleasant... the time long ago when I had my pipe in the pocket of my outdoor jacket and I absentmindedly pulled out the pipe and filled it without looking..... and an M&M was in the bottom of the bowl because I also had a half consumed bag of the candies in that pocket.  The M&M did NOT enhance my pipe smoking experience.😜 
• pipe smoking makes boring as hell times (like Jury Service) more palatable.  

PipeTobacco 

This & That

 

With so much going on at this beginning stage of the semester, it is hard to have a long-term coherent thought.  So, I thought (again) that I would for today, just have a smattering of disjointed thoughts that rummage through my mind at the moment:

• Liz mentioned in comments that she hopes my Institutional Review Board (IRB) effort is not as taxing as it has been in the past.  I wish I could say from "your mouth to God's ear" please...... but I already know that is not possible.  I KNOW all these IRB folks.... and they are terribly fussy, fusty, and extremely didactic.  Anything that can be done swiftly, or easily is the antithesis of life to them.... and they want to draw it out beyond tolerance or measure.  I KNOW all these folks because I am a member of the IRB at my U.... and deal with them regularly being slower than frozen molasses with other folk's things.  They get FAR, FAR to involved with minutia.  Being on the committee is frustrating but I stay on to try to push things along so other researchers have some hope.  For me, though.... I have to excuse myself from the committee when they evaluate my proposals.  So, no one is there to attempt to goad them into rapidity for me.
• My oldest daughter came over for dinner last night and it was very pleasant.  I made a "fusion" dish that was triple fusion..... part Indian, part Italian, and part old school "American classic" fare.  It was a casserole that was somewhat akin to macaroni and cheese but with Indian flavors and more robust pasta and vegetables.
• I have been having the most vivid and beautiful pipe smoking dreams the last few days.  Being within the dream is so intoxicatingly wonderful and exciting.  It feels so utterly joyous within the dream.  In some fashion, though, I think that even while in the dream itself, I somehow am aware that I need to be appreciative of the joyousness of the activity.... which back when it WAS something I was doing daily, it just was normal, regular behavior. 
• The dreams, though, also have kindled my awake yearnings for the pipe to be a more robust fire again too.  I have been spending a lot of time looking at and deeply examining my pipe racks this past weekend, in my den.  
• My wife and I are thinking of seeing a film Tuesday evening that is some sort of interesting story about a match up between Sigmund Freud and C.S. Lewis.  It sounds intriguing.  
• Ran exactly 10 miles. (~16km) this morning.  

PipeTobacco

Dry

 I feel dry.... dry skin, dry mind.... just trying to push through work I need to do but it is of a variety I abhor...... Institutional Review Board applications for new research I am going to do.  The fussy, obnoxious folks on that committee are a pain in the gluteus maximus.  I have written about them before, but it has been a while since I had to submit more to them.  

I feel I DESERVE a pipe for having to do this obnoxious work.  But, it is not meant to be today.  

I did finish my mileage for the week so that is good.

PipeTobacco

Yada

 

Seinfeld was IMO the funniest show on television other than the classics from the 1950s (such as I Love Lucy, etc).  My wife and I are ordering the CD set so we can watch them again.

Busy lecturing day today, so briefly:

• Felt very tired at the track today.... but I forced myself to clomp out all 10 damn miles (~16km).
• As a sort of "air freshener" I have a beautiful pouch of honey imbued burley in my sport coat pocket as I traverse across campus all day.  It is a very beautiful aromatic, pleasing smell.  And its aroma even permeates around me even with the pouch closed.  It is delightful.  
• It is even MORE wonderful to actually smoke in one of my pipes.  But ce la vie. (sigh)
• My wife and I have our first guitar lesson together tonight.  Hoping it is as fun as we are hoping.

PipeTobacco

IMS

There is a medical condition called "Irritable Bowel Syndrome" (IBS) that fortunately I do not have.  But this morning, I had what I am coining IMS ("Irritable Mind Syndrome").  I woke up at 4:45am feeling grumpy, sad, and out-of-sorts.  

Why?  Well....

• I woke up ahead of my alarm by 15 minutes.  So?  Well, it was too little time to go back to sleep without likely feeling groggy. 

• I also was not feeling sleepy, so just going back to bed for 15 minutes and potentially feeling groggy sounded like a really bad thing to even try.  

• In the "olden times" this would not have been a problem, for I could easily make it be a surprise  "festival" of sorts, by having an unanticipated, very early morning pipe.   When this would occasionally occur, it felt delightful!  Unfortunately, this route is not feasible now. 

• In "modern times" this could be a time where I could simply start my run early.  This would be "ok" and I have done this a few times when the weather is nice.  Unfortunately, the weather is horrific (lots of ice/snow, dangerous windchills (~ -20 F ; ~ -29C), dark skies that are more pitch black than a cup of the most robust cup of coffee).  And, equally unfortunately, my indoor track I do run at does not open until 6:00am. 

• So, I ruminated.

• I ruminated about how I was sad that a Department friend was retiring officially this week.

• I ruminated about how this friend started at the U two years AFTER I did.

• I ruminated about how this friend was my age (technically, ~1 year older than me). 

• I ruminated about how he could retire because his wife is a medical doctor who has a very $$$ lucrative $$$ medical practice.... so, he isn't particularly concerned about finances related to social security, retirement, health care, etc.

• I ruminated about how I do not feel ready to retire, and I want to teach and do research.... but how I sometimes feel alone with so many of my FRIENDS from the Department and overall the U being gone.

• I ruminated on the four FRIENDS in the Department who had the tragic, unexpected deaths I have written about before.  

But none of that was doing me any good.  But my mood was so, so very sour.  Eventually, when it was close enough to time, I grudgingly dressed and laced up my sneakers, and drove to the track, getting there a minute or two after it had opened.  

 

I stomped out the damnable miles (today, 10.4 miles (~17 km)).  At first I was very angry and disheartened.  But I listened to a Capuchin Mass for part of the run and prayed my rosary.  While doing both of these, I tried as best as I could to force myself to stop the damn ruminating.  Eventually, I had been stomping around enough that I started to feel the efforts of my exertion and this EFFORT in running helped me to ignore those harsh thoughts.  I felt less ornery.  I was even (after finishing the Mass and Roasary) able to focus my thoughts....  at the tail-end of my run on beautiful, pleasant, pipe smoking memories. When I had finally clomped out the last of the mileage and was moving into the stretching room, I felt more calm and serene.  As I stretched as many of my foot and leg muscles as I could muster into elongating... I worked to continue the calm serenity by keeping my imagination on beautiful pipe smoking memories.  

 

With the above, I was able to leave to head back home, get ready for the U,  and to have a normal day.  

 

* * * * *   
 

A couple of brief comments about recent comments the last couple of days:

 

• I am still trying to stay steady and commit to a minimum of 50 miles a week running  (~80km).
• I do think Pat may be correct in that I have the "soul" of a pipe smoker. 
  
• Yes.... the first few days back are the hardest.... getting your voice used to "big speaking" again, and the need for especially strong "animation" in lecture styles to invigorate students.... both are taxing during the early semester period where the "calluses" are reformed to make it easier.  
• We received ~10 inches of snow (~25cm) in the storm this past weekend.  It was heavy and wet snow.  I am damn lucky I plowed when I did because overnight, the DEEP FREEZE occurred and all the went snow turned to solid ice.  It would have been hell to try to shovel after we went so far down in temperature the next day.  

PipeTobacco

Bushed

 I am "bushed" in several respects.....

• My primary "bushed" is that my VOICE is tired as hell from five straight hours of loud, intense, robust, "enthusiastic" lecturing to my classes to attempt to motivate and invigorate their passion to learn this semester.  Because the first day of the semester is typically all about the syllabus and the  "rules and regulations" of the course.... and that is too damn boring, I intersperse my syllabus introduction with a variety of subject relevant anecdotes, recommendations for them to plan out their work/life schedules to accomplish their academics (intermixed in the swirl of their other work-related, family related, significant other related, party related, and sleep related activities they also do).  I urge them to not give the short schrift to their academics as they will pave the way for their future.  
• My secondary "bushed" is my face.  I need to spend some time before Friday in smoothing my "robusto" beard in preparation for a needed new, official U photograph that is required of me for some things happening at the U.  My last photo is QUITE (an understatement) old, and I am considerably greyer now, considerably thinner now, and my beard was a considerably shorter and overall closer to my face thing at that time.  I am still keeping my beard just as big and bushy (sometimes to my wife's chagrin).... but I want to smooth the edges just a bit so it looks more "refined" and not just simply big... for this photo.  It will be just a minor smoothing off of errant bits of unruly fur.  But, it will help the photograph. 
• I am "bushed" also from running a 10.8 miles (~17km) this morning where I purposefully (stupidly?) worked to push myself VERY HARD on this run to do so more rapidly.... to try to become stronger.  Probably not the best idea on this day, but it is what I did.  
• Finally, I am "bushed" about the cavalcade of thoughts of pipes I have been having.  Even more so than USUAL, I seem to see and think and recall pipes and pipe tobaccos in damn near everything I do every moment.  I am feeling an enormously robust hunger for a pipe.... especially the last 2-3 days.  It is a profoundly deep desire at the moment. And I am not sure where it is originating from.  

PipeTobacco

Figuring Out

I am going to briefly write here that I am just CHUCK FULL of things to say and write about.  But, I have not done so.  Today represents my guiding of myself back into writing.  It feels good, although today is brief.  

• I DID get a new pair of running shoes. It has been very helpful.  Today's 10.1 miles (~16km) felt very nice!  
• Pipes have been continuing to be STRONGLY on my mind.  They seem akin to nirvana.
• I have band practice tonight and it sounds fun!
• Research is ramping up to be even bigger than usual.  

It is bitter cold outside today (0 degrees C (~ -18C)) and the wind is fierce so the wind chill is even worse. 

PipeTobacco 

I Do Not Know

 L'absinthe by Degas

 

I have been away a helluva long time.

I am not sure why, exactly.  

I did, often want to write.  Part of why I did not may be from my avoidance of my home computer because it is so ancient and decrepit that it takes forever to get it going and is laggy and slow.  I only turned it on a few times to do actual U work.  

But, that does not really explain why I was away.  I do NOT really know why I was away so long.

* * * * * 

Perhaps an abbreviated list of highlights since my last post may help clarify in my mind why I was away:

• I did run every damn mile I committed myself to each weak (50+ miles each week (80+ km)). But, there was no joy in it, sadly. 
  
• There was only ONE major blowout related to the one I no longer mention here.  The ONE was not pleasant, but it was far fewer than I had feared having.  The "fewer" blowouts were facilitated by minimal interaction with the one no longer mentioned.  This is not the best approach, for I would rather things heal and become better.... but "if wishes were horses, beggars would ride" I guess.  
• A pair of holiday visitors unfortunately had undiagnosed Norovirus (diagnosed the next day).  It seemed to be passed on to both my wife and myself as we felt rough two days after their visit.  I may have a fairly robust constitution, for I ultimately did not vomit nor have the unfortunate "exit" effects..... but I had extensive and  significant nausea for few days.  My wife had SOME of the less pleasant effects, but not too aggressively. 
• I do not really have much in the way to say about fine tobaccos either.  I did not yet go to the pipe shop to try to have my musical instrument mouthpieces polished, although I would like to.  I think while there it would be very nice to have a pipe.  The cigar fellow from Mass has not been at our Mass the last couple of weeks (he must have had to go to Mass at other times), so I have not yet gotten to ask him any further about the gathering at the cigar shop.  If I were to go there, I think it would be very nice to have a cigar.  So... nothing has changed.... except perhaps my attitude of late. I seem to not care a helluva lot about anything at the moment.       
  

But, I just do not know.  I seem to be in some sort of situation where I am in a general air of malaise.  Nothing seems exciting or enthralling.  Nothing seems horrible or sinister.  I feel rather neutral, but neutral in a vague, empty, "nothingness" sort of way.  I have been sleeping a great deal, sometimes even getting 9-10 hours of sleep.  But I seem to have no drive, no passion, no hopes, no desires.  It is just odd.

• I also figured out that the ACTUAL estimate of how many damn miles I have on my running shoes is regrettably ~2,000 (~3,220 km)... which I do consider excessive.  I figured this out more precisely looking at my data more carefully yesterday.  I am hoping I can find a pair to buy in the next few days.  With that many miles, I have likely worn out damn near the entire sole, at least in regards to  any sort of impact cushioning.  
• I am also dealing with receiving another damnable "Jury Duty" service summons.  This will be the ninth damn time I have been called to serve.  At first I was all fired up about this.  NINE times is a helluva lot of times.  And, the courthouse here is so damn inflexible, that in the past I have written, my Dean has written, and hell, even the U President has written letters ask me to be either a) excused, or b) have my service moved to a different TIME (not in the semester).... but to no avail.  It is annoying, but I have given up trying.  I will just cope however I can.  It is a bunch of b*llsh*t thought.... being called NINE damn times.  The service starts at the beginning of February. 

That is about it for now.  I just feel very blah and rather "nothing".  Perhaps if I wait it out, it will eventually dissipate.  But, when?  Hah, perhaps tomorrow I will tell the tale of the "hopes and dreams" and "resolutions" for 2024?  Not much to say, though.

PipeTobacco