The Thoughts of a Frumpy Professor

............................................ ............................................ A blog devoted to the ramblings of a small town, middle aged college professor as he experiences life and all its strange variances.

Sunday, May 31, 2020

Pentecost


In the Catholic Church, Pentecost is a celebration of the descent of the Holy Spirit to the disciples of Jesus after his Ascension.  It is held on the seventh Sunday after Easter each year.  Today, my family and I observed Mass (and Pentecost) online.  It is helpful and vital that we have this option during Covid-19.  Yet, I look forward to returning to full Mass. 

PipeTobacco

Saturday, May 30, 2020

Gametogenesis


Gametogenesis is a biological process by which diploid or haploid precursor cells undergo cell division and differentiation to form mature haploid gametes. It is a critical process to know and understand in one of my courses, and I was writing some new "electronic delivery-friendly" notes in PowerPoint for students about this process last night.  I had the requisite images of various species ova (eggs) and various species spermatozoa as part of the imagery.  And, I found a well done video to include, that displayed the actual process of external fertilization occurring in sea urchin gametes under the microscope. When finished, I saved all my work and went to head off to bed.

Yet, the work itself incurred "randy" feelings in me.  When I then slid under the covers, I snuggled up close to my wife who had gone to bed a bit earlier, and was happy to find she too was in a more "spirited" frame of mind.  It was a very pleasant end to the evening.  

And who said educational thought was simply dull and pedantic?     

PipeTobacco

Friday, May 29, 2020

Beautiful Dream on My Mind

Even though I often do not remember/recall many dreams, I did have one last night that stuck with me and made me feel absolutely serene and beautiful upon awakening.  It really was not anything extraordinary by any means.  It was just me both observing myself and at the same time being myself as I sat in my "comfy" chair (not my desk chair) in my home office with my feet up on the ottoman.  I was just quietly reading a novel and filling and smoking my pipe.  I had a tumbler of a beverage resting besides me (I believe it was a gin and tonic over ice) which I was sipping upon.  There was sunlight streaming in through the window and it allowed for easy, comfortable reading of the book, and there was a thin, gentle, hazy, but visible (due to the sunlight) layer of pipe smoke at about the 5 foot level above me.  It seemed like a luxuriously long dream as well, for it seems like I sat and read through probably close to 50 pages of the novel during the dream.  I even recall the story to a degree.  It was another episode in the "Harry Bosch" series of novels by Michael Connelly.  Yet, it was NOT one I had read, for I have read them all (I think, unless a new one has come out recently).

When I awoke, I felt very peaceful and relaxed.  I think the apparent "length" of the dream itself made it feel very nearly tangible and real, as if it had actually happened. So very interesting.

I just made a quick calculation on my phone.  It has been 835 days today, since I began to refrain from smoking my pipes.  

PipeTobacco  

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Missing the Community Pool


One especially missed aspect of my routine from before Covid-19, was my frequent use of the indoor community pool.  My pattern had grown such that I would typically go and swim AT LEAST twice a week even in the most bitter cold parts of the Winter, and more and more frequently until I was there nearly every day in the Summer. 

When Covid-19 restrictions first started here in March, I remember how I had swam there on the day before the announcement of the massive closures that would need to be enacted.  It has been a long drought (pun intended) for me now.  And, when temperatures soared to a very humid 93 degrees Fahrenheit  (34 Celcius) yesterday, I was spending a lot of time reminiscing about that pool. 

In the greater scheme, loss of a convenience of a pool is extraordinarily minor for the safety of the populace.  But, I do so very much look forward to hopefully returning to the pool someday.  I so hope science will be able to develop a viable vaccine for Covid-19 quickly and ends up being easy and rapid to identify, immediately shown to be safe in clinical trials, is able to mass-produced quickly and distributed globally. 

PipeTobacco

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Five Finger Discount


Well, when I went back to the cemetery yesterday early evening, I found this year to be "average" as far as the "five finger discount" goes..... meaning the loss of plants on the grave sites due to people who take other's flowers for their own home use. 

This year, was an average year with ~20% loss.  That seems to be typical over the last 15 or so years I have really been keeping track.  The worst year resulted in a loss of 50% of the flowers I had taken to the cemetery.  And there have been a small number of years with 0% loss.  Not much can be done about it, accept *hope* that the folks who absconded with them are actually needy folks who didn't really have much if any other income or method to try to beautify their surroundings.  

So, the plants are home now, and I will be working later today to transplant them into more decorative planters and move them to various spots around the yard.  I tend to have traditional end points where I put certain plants.  For instance, the plants I have that were on my parent's grave are replanted in a large planter that I keep on the deck in my backyard.  Other relatives and friends have their "spots" of tradition as well.  Normally, I try to purchase a like substitute for plants that were taken, and normally do this on my way home.  However, this year, with Covid-19, I was not prepared physically (nor emotionally, truth-be-told) to venture into the risky shopping environment yesterday evening.  I will likely summon up the energy to do so (with full safety gear) sometime later this week. 

I did a quick check of my running journal this morning.  Today, I went over the 800 mile mark of running so far in 2020.  800 miles is 1,287 kilometers, for my more metric oriented friends. 

PipeTobacco

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Memories.... #4


[Please note, if you have not done so, and wish to read earlier parts of this essay, please scroll down to the first "Memories" essay.   Please remember that I wrote this several years ago, so it is in a voice of my own past about an even more long ago memory.]



*     *     *     *     *

Fortunately for me, my father had numerous pipes in his collection. In his den, in fact, he had one pipe rack on his desk that was filled with his most frequently used briar pipes, and he had another drawer in a cabinet that had many other, more worn, less frequently used pipes. I figured this would be a good place for me to look and perhaps "borrow" one for a while. Additionally, while my father carried a tobacco pouch with him at all times, he also had several cans (canisters) of his favorite pipe tobaccos on one shelf of his several bookshelves also in his den. It would be fairly simple to open one of the canisters and to remove a small pinch of the golden brown crumbles of leaf.

On a day much like today, cloudy and threatening rain, I did just that. As I stated earlier, the woods way in the back of our property were a true joy for me and I often spent hours and hours out there searching for various forms of wildlife. But today I had a different mission in mind for out in the woods.

I quietly snuck in to my father's den, and opened the drawer and withdrew one of the pipes. It was a bit dusty, the walnut finish was quite dull and rubbed off in spots where my father had held it numerous times, and the edges of the opening of the bowl were battered and rounded from hundreds of times my father knocked out the ashes either into the large glass ashtray on his desk, some other ashtray elsewhere, or if outside, on the heel of his shoe or onto the palm of his hand when he finished. The bowl must have become somewhat brittle and weakened from use as well, for on one side of the bowl a small section of the rounded opening was missing, looking as if it had broken away giving the bowl a crooked, askewed countenance. However, to me, the pipe seemed majestic and beautiful and utterly amazing.

I slid this beautiful beast of a pipe into my pocket and then quickly went to the bookshelf lined with various pipe tobaccos. Having always been partial to the colors of orange and red, I quickly gravitated to the canister of Sir Walter Raleigh pipe tobacco... in an orange & black canister, and grabbed a small pinch of the leaf and gripped it tightly in my fist along with a match.

It took me only a few minutes to reach the woods at the far back of the yard. I then took one of the several paths I had made over the years, this one ended deep into the woods at a small tree platform I had been working on building most of the Spring. It eventually become a fairly grand sized and entertaining tree house that I and several buddies of mine built together. But this early summer day it was simply a comfortable platform about 15 feet off the ground. I climbed the wooden boards I nailed to the trunk of the tree and was soon comfortably seated on my platform.

As I looked at the pipe, I grew more excited and nervous with each passing moment. In my eyes, that decrepit, battered beast of a pipe was majestic, beautiful, and utterly impressive. I uncupped my left hand and examined the small pinch of tobacco in my palm. With a bit of nervousness, I took some of the leaf out with my fingers from my right hand and dropped it into the bowl of the pipe. I was sitting in such a way that I could hold the bowl of the pipe between my feet, my tennis shoes gently holding the bowl in position. I kept adding leaf to the bowl until it seemed full enough. Luckily for me, the pinch of tobacco leaf I had grabbed was rather small, so I was able to put all of the leaf into the bowl.

It was so beautiful looking, I was truly in awe of the pipe and leaf. Slowly and carefully I brought the stem of the pipe to my mouth and gripped the stem with my teeth. It felt rather hard and cumbersome, not with the comfortable, contented look I saw on my father's face as he gripped the pipestem between his teeth. But still, it the feeling, though strange was wonderful to me. The stem itself, slightly beige at the tip from use, had a slightly acrid flavor that I did not recognize at the time but still I enjoyed its texture.

I likely sat there for the better part of a half hour observing, smelling, and experiencing the look and feel of the UNLIT pipe. Finally after a bit of my nervousness subsided, I withdrew the wooden kitchen match from my pocket. Having watched my father use a similar kitchen match out-of-doors frequently, I knew I needed to strike the match against the side of a rock. Luckily I had been carrying many different rocks up to the platform of the last few weeks so that was not a problem.

The weather had started to grow a bit cooler and I could feel a gentle mist starting. I thought to myself that I had better hurry, for it was going to rain heavily, very soon. Growing nervous again, I held the match up against the rock and slid it against the rough surface as I had seen my father do countless times. As I slid the match, I expected it to fire to life quickly, but nothing happened. Perhaps I needed to do it more strongly? So using more force, I slid the match against the rock again. This time the head of the match snapped off the matchstick and fell between the planks of the platform to the ground below.

I was utterly disheartened.

[Another good stopping point for now.]

PipeTobacco

Monday, May 25, 2020

Memorial Day & 1/2 Marthon for May


With full Covid-19 safety precautions, I ventured out to one gardening shop yesterday afternoon and bought the traditional 10 different flowering plants that I always do, loaded them into my rusty, but trusty old pickup truck, and ventured on the longest trip I have made since the start of this pandemic.  I drove the ~1 hour distance to reach the cemetery where my closest relatives and friends are buried, and delivered a plant to each grave site and spoke to each of the 18 different relatives or friends who have passed.  While this year, I did this on Sunday, most years I would have done this on Friday or very early Saturday to have the flowers there for a longer period of time during the Memorial Day weekend.  But, with the current situation, it took me a bit longer to garner up the energy and fortitude  to be prepared for the shopping experience.

On Tuesday of this week, I will venture out again to the cemetery  to retrieve the plants that remain.  There are some folks who will scour through the cemetery and use their "five finger discount" to take planters off of graves for their own use.  Some years are worse than others in this regard.  Hopefully, come Tuesday, I will find all of the plants still present.  I then take them home with me and use them in various locations in the backyard area.  I have done ever since owning a home, and I think of each plant as a remembrance/reminder of the loved one.  It helps me to feel a sense of their presence in my home all Summer long.  

With today being the last Monday in May, I came to realize that today would also be my best chance to be able to keep my goal intact of running at least one 1/2 Marathon (13.1 miles (21km)) each month in 2020.  Mondays seem the easiest day for me to try to accomplish a run of this length. 

So, I got up and hit the trail this morning at 5:30am.... in order to have coolness, and lighter sun intensity... and ran 13.6 miles (22km).  My pace was slower than my pace with my normal running distance, of course... and ended up being 9 minutes, 14 seconds per mile.  (which I *think* calculates out to be 5 minutes, 30 seconds per kilometer... or at least pretty close). 

Not too damn shabby for a grey-haired, furry-faced old professor. 

PipeTobacco

Sunday, May 24, 2020

Communion

I miss so very much the receiving of communion at Mass. 

I know it is not possible at this time.  I know that I and other members of the Catholic Church have received dispensation for the time being due to the needs of Covid-19.  I know I and my family are very fortunate that we can view and hear Mass online. 

I miss the friends at Mass.  I miss the feel of family at Mass.  But, I especially miss receiving of communion. 

PipeTobacco

Saturday, May 23, 2020

Trying Just to Find "Normal"

It is very challenging during this time with emotions.  Obviously the Covid-19 situation is hard on a great many of us.  With there being so many deaths from this pandemic virus (approaching 100,000 in the U.S. alone at the moment, and so many more globally), it can feel selfish to talk about other difficulties, because they *do* pale in comparison to that very immense horror. 

But with that said, and with the fact that I also abundantly admit I am damn lucky to have a job at the moment (many do not), and I am also very fortunate that at this point my family appears to be safe.... I do have to say that it is also HARD even though I am currently fortunate. 

It is hard in having to work twice as many hours for the same job as before.  I keep anticipating it will settle down, and it does sometimes, but then it flares back up. 

It is hard having to have every damn thing about teaching have to be online.  It is hard to navigate the INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF MINUTIA that must be linked, hyperlinked, uploaded, reuploaded, scheduled electronically, rescheduled electronically, and then double checked, and triple checked to make sure all the navigations work as intended and allow students access as intended. 

So much of my double time day is NOT about teaching about a SUBJECT.  It is so much NOT about actual content on a subject.  I would say that a good 60% of my time is spent at the computer, fixing, finessing, and fussing with the computery aspects of trying to GET teaching and content to students.  And another 30% of my time is spent trying to figure out ways to help STUDENTS figure out and understand how to get access to the teaching and content, or in fixing their mistakes.  Only about 10% of the double length workday I now have is actually about my teaching and content. 

That is the tiring, debilitating aspect of this that I feel.  I *WANT* to do this well for the students.  I *WANT* for them to have as content rich and inspiring a class as I can muster.  But, it is often, SO hard.  Again.... not from a content perspective, and NOT from a basic SET-UP perspective.  But it is so, SO very hard to deal with the INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF MINUTIA that must be linked, hyperlinked, uploaded, reuploaded, scheduled electronically, rescheduled electronically, and then double checked, and triple checked.

PipeTobacco

Friday, May 22, 2020

Just

... a rough day.  Too much work.  Too much computer.  Too much.

PipeTobacco

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Rain to Sun

I still feel a bit "jangly" in the nerves from the extreme rush-job I had to do to convert and get my Summer course into an electronic format in a matter of days compared to the week and a 1/2 I had been envisioning.  It is strange how the "anxiety" that I felt remains to a degree even though the crisis of it has passed.  I am on pretty stable footing in the class now, but, my visceral response initially each morning still is more "anxious" and less stable than it should be given that things are now in an "ok" state of set-up.  It is almost feeling like a miniature sort of post-traumatic sort of "thing".  I know that is pretty damn foolish to feel, but.... it does have that sort of feel at the moment.  I have to fight against that.  It is a waste of time.

PipeTobacco

Wednesday, May 20, 2020

Once or Twice

Once or twice during the time I was without Internet, I considered trying to post here via my phone.  But, with my "budget" (stingy) data plan, I was worried I might end up over consuming the small amount of data.

I still have been able to run through this headache of a time.  I do think it has been helpful for me in terms of shedding a lot of stress hormones.  I was keyed up and edgy like a hurt, caged lion much of the last week. 

It is so nice to also have television back.  My wife and I do not watch HUGE amounts of television, but we typically view an hour or a little bit more every evening. 

PipeTobacco

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Craziness

Well, the last almost dozen days have been crazy and hectic in ways I never expected:

1.  Just as I was wrapping up trying to work through compiling and computing final grades for the semester, Internet issues befell upon my abode.

2.  I had to make a decision to leave and go to the U (not supposed to unless an "essential" employee for maintenance due to Covid-19) so that I could have Internet to finish out things.

3.  While finishing out grading and grades, I also had bubble up into my consciousness that the time between the close of last semester and the start of Summer Semester did NOT have the typical, usual one week break that is the norm before Summer Semester starts.  Because of aspects of how this calendar year shook out by the administrative planners, this year was one of the fortunately infrequent years where Summer Session started IMMEDIATELY the next week. 

4.  This realization as it percolated up into my awareness, lead my mind to internally scream.... "Sh*t!!!"  I didn't have a damn thing planned or ready (in an electronic format... because of Covid-19).  I had much of the Summer Session mapped out in a general way back in early March when I had no idea of it being online.  But, I had paid scant attention to it since the onset of online became a necessity. 

5.  So, the unfortunate reality is.... without serviceable Internet at home, I had to keep "sneaking" to the U and hiding out in the back office in my Research Lab so that I could get Internet to play catch-up.  I had to work feverishly pretty much every day until around 8 or 9pm to just get things into an appropriate electronic form in the short time frame I had to the start of Summer Semester.  Remember, I *had* mistakenly been planning to use the whole week I THOUGHT I had off between last semester and Summer Semester to work through getting things situated.  And, fortunately due to my enormously rushed effort I was able to get the electronic version of my class started on time, but unfortunately due to the need for this rushed effort, I had to continue sneaking onto the U campus every day while my Internet was down just to stay tolerably in front of the student's needs in the class.  The late evenings continued all through the week and into the weekend just to stay a bit ahead. 

6.  And with Covid-19, repair of home Internet understandably was not a top priority, and it took until late yesterday evening before home Internet was again functional.  I have been sneaking to the U every day during this time wearing gloves and a mask and trying to not touch anything other than stuff in my office.  Fortunately I only saw one person (in another room on campus) the entire time. 

I felt guilty as hell about it, but I was truly between a rock and hard place.  I practiced as safe distancing tactics as I could, so I feel that *hopefully* was adequate too and I didn't bring Covid-19 home.  I showered mightily every evening when I came home. 

It is nice to be able to work again from home.  It feels much better.  And, I am feeling I am finally getting into a timing "workspace" that is again more typical.  I feel *almost* to the point where I am prepared with the essentials I need WITH adequate time to grow, adjust, and fix things as I work along at a NORMAL pace again. 

The lack of Internet also kept me away from here, and it resulted in my missing my goal of writing every day this year.  I AM back now.  I am not sure if I will count this lapse as a failure of my goal, or if I can accept the caveat of my lack of Internet as a reasonable "catastrophe" to allow me to pick up and continue with the internal notion that my goal is still intact.  I do not know if I will be able to decide one way or the other until I have reasoned through it for a few days. 

PipeTobacco

Thursday, May 07, 2020

Challenging for Many of Us


One aspect of this Covid-19 situation that I think is difficult for MANY of us is with so much more at-home time, the option and ability to mindlessly eat is much greater.  And, with many places having limited/alternative options in the grocery stores, many people are finding the foods they are eating are changing as well. 

I am finding myself *wanting* to often nibble on food frequently because the kitchen is only a few steps away.  But, I guess this is one time where my being a "formerly" very hefty person has a little bit of benefit.  In my transition about a dozen years ago to a normal BMI (23.1) person who weighs ~170 lb from when I previously weighed almost 300 lb and had a BMI of ~39.... I had to learn in my transition to a normal BMI to not "rummage and graze" all the time.  I had to learn to not eat out of boredom.  I had to learn to recognize real need to consume food versus emotional desire to consume food.   

So, I do understand all the folks who talk about how they have gained weight while being more at home due to Covid-19.  I am fortunate to have developed a skill set to better handle what I collectively refer to as "stress eating". 

PipeTobacco

Wednesday, May 06, 2020

Feeling A Little Stir Crazy


I guess that my extreme efforts in electronic teaching were very helpful for me.  At the moment, things have calmed down in that regard for a bit, and I have even spent some time doing some planning for the classes I will eventually have in Summer.  But, now with a return to a bit of "down  time" I am finding I am feeling a bit "stir crazy" in ways I had not been since this Covid-19 has began. 

Even though I have not been a person who shops at stores or eats out super often... I have been feeling a real desire to go out shopping, or to go out to visit my favorite restaurants.  But, while grocery stores are open, it is not really a place to meander any more for a while.  And, the same is true for restaurants... we could order some "take out" versions of our favorites.  But, that is not really what I am feeling stir crazy about.  I guess I am just feeling the desire to want to do something more previously normal and commonplace. 

Things that are likely to be off-limits for quite a while that I do miss are:

1. Swimming at the community pool.
2. Going to a movie theater.
3. Going to see a play.
4. Going to a gym.
5. Going camping.
6. Visiting a different city for a vacation and new experiences.
7. Playing in my Community Band.

Please know I am not complaining.  We are doing what is needed and necessary and helpful.  I just have been SO busy and consumed with trying to convert to electronic teaching, that the pangs of sorrow about what is not possible in normal life currently, did not register as much until the last few days when some of my work pressures eased up a bit.   I guess today's writings are just to acknowledge these feelings. 

PipeTobacco

Tuesday, May 05, 2020

Value for the Pipe


An interesting finding by clinicians in France has been in the news a bit.  It is a report that shows a correlation (not necessarily causation) between smoking tobacco and a LOWER risk of having a severe Covid-19 reaction.  A synopsis is shown here:

Article Synopsis from "The Guardian"

The basic finding is that the number of patients hospitalized with severe Covid-19 effects who are smokers is much smaller than would be anticipated from the population at large.  In their findings, ~25% of the French population are currently smokers, yet the percentage of smokers who are the population of hospitalized for Covid-19 is only around ~5%.

Not to make light of a fairly shocking finding.... it does put my own prior indulgence in pipes and pipe tobaccos in a bit of a different light.  It does make the idea of indulging in this beloved hobby almost prophylactic.  I am not doing anything *yet*.  But, it is something I am thinking about, of course. 

Monday, May 04, 2020

50 Years Ago


I remember the day very well.  It was a day of both horror and also of delight.

On this day, 50 years ago, my first niece was born.  This of course was the delight.  She is a wonderful, kind person.

But, also on this day, 50 years ago, the tragedy at Kent State University occurred.  For those who may not have been alive or aware of what happened in this situation, you of course can get a synopsis from many websites.  But, if you want a more complete feel of what the times and the situation was like, I would strongly recommend you pick up a copy of Michner's "Kent State: What Happened and Why" to get a more comprehensive perspective. 

With Covid-19, it is not possible to have actual face-to-face events to remember this tragedy on the Kent State University campus like usual.  So, instead, there is an on-line remembrance.  You may wish to visit this site: 

50th Anniversary Commemoration at Kent State University

PipeTobacco 

Sunday, May 03, 2020

From Mass Today


In the electronic Mass I was able to watch this morning, the following from the second reading really captured my attention:

When he was insulted, he returned no insult;
when he suffered, he did not threaten.


I know and understand the value and truth in those words.  I know that even if I am insulted, or hurt, or suffer, it is NOT right or appropriate or my place to insult back or to lash out a those that hurt me.  Knowing.... is a PART of what is needed from the above.... and I have that part down fairly well.  I KNOW what I am supposed to doBut.... the ability to DO the above is oh, so very much harder. 

It can be utterly exhausting.... physically, mentally, and emotionally to not lash out when someone hurts me.  But, it is worth it to be kind in place of angry... or at least neutral instead of angry.  But... I do not think it will ever be "easy".  It is damn hard. 

But, it is how I should always strive to be.

PipeTobacco

Saturday, May 02, 2020

Saturday

After a rather bleak feeling Friday morning, I did some work on my classes, and then set out to try to physically tire myself out to get in a better mood. Yes, exhaustion can sometimes help change my mood.  I had already ran my 6.6 on Friday, but still felt blue.  So, after getting the U work I needed to get done, I went outside,  sporting my oldest, beat-up, work-in-the-dirt baseball cap (similar to what is shown), and proceeded to do a lot of yard work.  Cutting the grass was the easy part, but I also trimmed bushes, hooked up hoses again for spring, cleaned old leaves out of the rock garden, and a bunch of other things.  I was pretty damn exhausted and sore, but I was also not feeling as bleak. 

I think some of the key to not falling into that bleak-blue mindset has to include work on things I want to do beyond my job at the U.  Part of what I was feeling was being so damn glued to the computer. 

Another part of  my blue feelings were from the 5% of students who ALWAYS as a semester draws close to ending realize how utterly horridly they are doing in class and then begin to complain and whine and beg for "extra credit" or "my scores must be wrong somehow, I always get 'As' in all my classes" or some similar type of thing.   When it happens in person, in my office, I have become adept enough to find a neutral face and explain to them as gently as I can muster how unfortunately, their grade is what they have created through the course of the semester.  BUT, in electronic teaching..... the interactions are electronic.... and I am being flooded by this same 5% with e-mails, and they are SO, SO much worse (or perhaps just because it is new to me) than the face-to-face whining.  The writing used in the e-mail belies the stress they feel, I guess... but it is often so poorly written and sometimes bordering on aggressive that it flummoxes me beyond my abilities.  Trying to write a reply back that is "neutral" and attempts to be kind and guiding and not replying back to some of what they say with frustration, or anger, or sarcasm is harder for me than I anticipated.  I have taken to writing my reply in a draft form first, and then letting it sit for at least 2-3 hours.... and then re-reading what I wrote to make sure I am not adding to their hysteria.... but instead just stating (as calmly as I can muster) the facts of their situation.

PipeTobacco 

Friday, May 01, 2020

Friday

Not much to say this morning.  I am feeling a bit blue, I guess.  It feels like a day I want to curl up and ignore the world.  When folks say harsh things, it can get to be just too much at times.  But, I have a sh*tl**d of work to do, so I guess that is what I will do, all day long.  Ye-ha!

PipeTobacco