Ruminations

 

Lots of ruminating occurring in my mind the last few days:

• Ran 11.1 miles (~18km) this morning.  Prayed the rosary and listened to ~ 15 or so songs on my Catholic Music Pandora channel while I ran.

 

• Last week, one homily that especially touched me was told by Capuchin Fr. Dan.  He was talking about how envy/jealously about what you do not have is hindering you from becoming who you are and can be.  This resonated with me in regards to my anger/hurt about the two folks at work who are mean/unkind folks.  Fr. Dan's words have helped me to better see that my dwelling on them is a hindrance for me being who I am and who I can be.  It is still hard at times to not think about those situations with those two.... but if I can keep the ideas shared by Fr. Dan in mind, I think it can be helpful for me to decrease dwelling on them.  

 

• I went to the grave sites where my father-in-law, my mother, my father, and my niece (the one who had committed suicide ~28 years ago now) and spoke with them about how I missed them and that I wish I had taken more time to be with them and that I deeply regretted the missed opportunities. It was very cold and blustery, but I had planned ahead by wearing long underwear.  

 

• It was interesting that Fr. Albert, who is the priest at my local parish had a homily at the weekend Mass that was somewhat similar to Fr. Dan's weekday Mass where his thrust was about being the "you" that God intended.  It too resonated with me.

 

• I have been rummaging about a bit with some of my old camera gear.  I am thinking of taking a stab at it in terms of trying to look for and create more "artistic" images.  Most of my previous photography was of family and friends. 

 

• I have a musical goal this week to learn about and explore more the concept of arpeggios.  They were never a concept I knew, but I think they will help me explore and perhaps become stronger as I try to develop some skills with the guitar.

 

• I have started to dismantle the "Project Metal Clarinet" instrument.  I believe this will be a good learning/refresher for me, as I have not dismantled and repaired/re-padded an  instrument in a while.  It is a rather inexpensive beast and will afford me a chance to experiment a bit as I try to refurbish it back to the beauty I think it still has deep inside itself.  

 

• I am fast approaching my 4th year anniversary of abstaining from my pipes.  It will be in roughly two weeks that I will hit that "milestone" if it can be called that.  I may use the next two weeks to explore what I think I may do in the future regarding pipes and pipe tobaccos.  Or, at least, I think I will try to talk through all the various thoughts I have been debating about them.

PipeTobacco

4 Years Ago

It was four years ago today, that my dear friend, my second father, my pipe smoking buddy, my drinking buddy….. my father-in-law passed away.  

Words cannot adequately express the feelings of loss I have felt regarding this.  It was a loss every bit as difficult as was my Mom’s passing, now nearly 15 years ago, and my Dad’s passing, now nearly 28 years ago.  

Wonderful things do end.  That is the only message I hear in regards to the above three deaths.  My faith tells me they are still present, yet even though I work hard to keep that in mind….. it is still….. different…. and “less” …. if that makes sense.  

Life, it seems, is all about learning to love….. but then witnessing and watching those you love…. leave you.  Again, I understand I should look beyond just the “now” and see the continuity of experiences of life.  But, it is sometimes damn hard to do.  

And, in the same breath of mental focus, I remember the times when I COULD have been more present with each of them, and was instead occupied with aspects of life…. things of no significance… and the realization of these missed opportunities that will never be, makes me angry at myself, angry with the rules, angry with the rigamarole of just trying to exist… that takes us away from the love of family.  

PipeTobacco 

Done

11.7 miles ran.

3.5 hours of big voice lecture.

8 hours of cyborging “Covid Friendly” updates of lectures.

It is almost 9:00pm.  I can do no more today.

My pipes and pipe tobaccos have been teasing me all day…. calling for me to join them in fun and frivolity.

It is exhausting.

PipeTobacco 

Busiest Teaching Day of the Week

 

This semester, Wednesdays are the busiest teaching day I have.  It is an almost non-stop "Big Voice" day with two long labs and two long lectures.  The total "Big Voice" time I have is roughly 6 hours.  It leaves minimal time to get many other things done.  I sometimes *try* to squeeze in a bit of work on e-mail, or on documents, or on tests, or on PowerPoint development... but very, very frequently it is just a "pipe dream" that I really get to do any of those things on Wednesdays.  

But.... teaching the classes and the labs are fun.  The classes I get to teach are very, very enjoyable on Wednesdays.  The challenge is that these classes are smaller (between 25-50 students in a class) and therefore are in smaller rooms that do not have the ability to have me link my microphone to any speaker system, as the rooms do not have them.  So, I *do* have to talk especially LOUD through my N95 bubble mask and my cloth mask over the top of that one.  

The N95 bubble mask is one that is one I recently found (perhaps a month ago?) that has an exterior plastic framework associated with it so that the mask stays away from my mouth.  With my yammering on for hours upon hours, this is a CRITICALLY valuable feature for me.  When the suggestion to go to N95 first occurred, I was given one of the more common "bird beak" N95 masks.  The "bird beak" style was problematic for me on several levels:

1.  The material was still too damn soft..... so that after lecturing anytime over about half an hour,  it would be so saturated from my exhalations during speaking that it would be wet and soft, and the "beak" would start to collapse as I spoke more, leading to me very quickly having the mask get into my mouth and impeding my speaking, and if I was not careful, tearing or ripping because I would bite the mask accidentally.  

2.  Another issue, is that the rubber band attachments for these "bird beak" masks are VERY short, and my ears are not particularly rigid.  My pinna cartilage is very flexible.  The pull of the rubber bands on my ears from these "bird beak" masks was enough that over a period of the few days I was wearing them, my pinna cartilage began to simply bend and the rubber band would slide off my ear... getting the mask to fall off.  

3.  The other big (haha, ironic choice of words) problem with the "bird beak" mask is that they were TOO DAMN SMALL for my apparently gigantic face.  I could barely fit the damn thing over my nose in such a way that it would cover and rest under my lower lip.  In many ways it felt like I was trying to wear a thimble on my face.  I looked all over the place on-line for some sort of "extra large" type of the "bird beak" mask, to no avail.  

The "bubble" mask that I now wear has been absolutely wonderful.  The plastic framework of it, makes my face (behind the mask) look like I am perhaps auditioning for the part of Cornelius in a remake of "Planet of the Apes"... but I don't really mind.  I knew of these masks because they are used by folks working in several chemical industries, but I was not really knowing they were N95 approved, and that they are appropriate medical grade N95 masks.  When I figured that out, that is what I ordered.  I can speak so much easier with this "bubble" mask.  I even FOUND "extra large" sized "bubble" masks to boot.... so the fit is pretty damn comfortable.  And having my cloth mask over the top of it, gives me a greater sense that the N95 is staying well in place.  

I had thought about writing about my nightmare the night before, but I guess I will put that off to another day.  After all this teaching, and yammering, and what not... it sure feels like a pipe in the truck going home sort of day.  I miss looking forward to walking out to my truck and filling and firing up a pipe for the ride home.  

PipeTobacco

Liberty Bell

 

Writing about the memory of my ancient tin of Prince Albert was really fun and enjoyable a few days ago (and yes, AC... I still have that beautiful (but now... sadly empty) tin on the bookshelf by my desk in my den).  When I wrote that, I just scribbled out (er, I guess.... tapped out) what I could as quickly as possible because I had a lot of work to do.  But, the memories of that experience, and the memories of the dozen or so bowlfuls of that ancient pipe tobacco leaf were delightful to reminisce about!!!! 

In that story, I remember highlighting in what I wrote that I think "aging" of products to "improve them" typically is rather silly. Again, I do know that wine aficionados say there is "tremendous" difference in an aged wine...... but I still basically say:  "Bah! If it is red wine, it will be good...... and if it is white or rose'... it will probably be unpleasant (to my palate anyway)." 

I do have to admit, however, that I DO have one "aged" item that I DOohold dearly.  I keep thinking about when/if I will open this aged item.  If I ever do, I suspect I will do so on July 4th, 2026.  

I knew about this now aged item back from the day the item was purchased because of its rather "uniqueness".  It relates to the U.S. Bicentennial (the Nation's 200th Anniversary) that occurred in 1976. 

Back during the Bicentennial (1976), my Mom was working at a delicatessen. It seems rather odd to me.... but in addition to selling sandwiches, potato salads, desserts and the like, this Deli also sold LIQUOR behind the counter. People could buy a turkey, ham and Swiss cheese sandwich, a dish of potato salad, a dish of macaroni salad, and a piece of pie or a cupcake for dessert...... AND a pint or a fifth of whisky to wash it down! The clientele was a diverse gambit of folks.... various professionals, various blue collar folks.... including a massive number of factory workers from a big factory about 3 blocks away.

My Mom loved working at this delicatessen and did so for many years.  Besides preparing many of the salads, sandwiches, desserts etc.  she also worked behind the counter much of the time.  As she was the Head Deli Person for many of those years, she also was responsible for choosing and placing, ingredients, foods and liquor orders for the little shop.  During her several years of tenure there, she ended up facilitating quite a bit of growth in the shop's business (much to the owner's delight).  She increased the number of customers in part because of her cooking, but also because of her prowess at ORDERING supplies.......  she would purposefully order food items and liquor that were not simply the "run-of-the mill" things you could easily purchase anywhere.  Instead.... she would pour over the order books to find items that were more unique, much less common, and also would order and try various ingredients that would help her make more UNUSUAL/UNCOMMON foods.  She enjoyed perusing the order books for more unique options to make more interesting sandwiches, more interesting salads, more festive desserts and she also ordered a much more diverse and interesting range of liquors as well.  

During the Bicentennial, she ended up ordering several fifths of brandy that were being offered in  special glass bottles that were shaped like the Liberty Bell.  She liked the shape of the bottle....and enjoyed its rather "kitchy" appearance.   She liked it so much that when they arrived, she ended up buying one of them herself and brought it home.  

Both my Mom and Dad were only the most modest of drinkers.  I think they would probably average perhaps 3-4 drinks a YEAR each.  And, they also tended to be very sentimental about things (Hmm... that sounds a bit familiar.).  So...   instead of drinking the brandy housed in this glass Liberty Bell.... once it became 1977, they took the bottle that had been displayed on a shelf in the kitchen, and hid it away in a cupboard. They never opened that Liberty Bell.  After my father passed away and before my elderly Mom came to live with my wife and I, she had given me the Liberty Bell bottle of brandy.  I still have it today.... unopened.  It had a brandy in it that a tag on the bottle proclaims that it was was "aged 12 years" when she bought it in 1976.  So, that means the whisky inside is now 58 years old! 

If I do someday open it, I suspect I will do so on July 4th, 2026, which will be the Semiquincentennial.... the 250th Anniversary of the U.S.  I relish the way my Mom thought it was such a fun and interesting thing to buy, and I love the whole back-story behind it. The image above is what it looks like.... yet the image I could find online.... was already empty.  So, imagine that bottle, filled with the beautiful, dark amber color of brandy.  Even the tax stamps on the bottle are fully intact and the company's information tag is still attached as well (unlike in the picture above, where it has only the string... not the tag itself. 

PipeTobacco

 

Snow Shoveling

 My wife has a work related “Retreat” she is attending today (after her regular work day) from 5 - 9pm this evening.  As most of these things are…. they are filled with just a bunch of b*llsh*t that could easily be handled via e-mail.  So now that I am home from the U I find I am a bachelor for the evening.  

Unfortunately, we also received roughly 5 inches of snow during the day.  5 inches is not a huge amount, but it is faster and easier to use the snowblower for this amount, so I will be getting out that rumbly-grumbly, infernal machine to assist me with the job (first time this season….. hopefully the machine will start).  Our driveway is quite long, and there is a considerable amount of sidewalk too.  I have hand-shoveled smaller amounts so far since November, but it was a LONG day of 5 hours of BIG VOICE lecture, having to meet with the Grants Officer to explain my frustration about the Research Review Board (not the whole board, just the typographically sensitive ogre who has not yet gotten around to giving her approval now for EIGHT WEEKS!!!!!!!).  The Grants Officer is the Head of the Board, and he too is frustrated at the ogre.  There is SUPPOSED to be a TWO week turn around time.  So, I am tired, and the snowblower will be gratefully used.  I also ran 11.7 miles this morning.  

I had briefly allowed myself a “flight-of-fancy” pipe dream moment yesterday when I remembered my wife’s impending retreat today…. where I envisioned “cutting loose” and buying some strong, hearty IPAs…. a particular dark, “hoppy” beer variety….. perhaps drinking 3-4 bottles, and then feeling gently comfortable thereby…. then having 2 or 3 beautifully heavy, chalky bowls of robust pipe tobacco….. as a marker of my bachelor status for the evening.  But, the snow brought me back to reality, unfortunately.  Not only did I not stop at a store on the way home…. I did not get a chance to eat at all today, as it was so busy.

It is just the way it is, I guess.  I will dig up some frozen left overs for dinner to eat with a salad when I am done with the snow.  

PipeTobacco 

Exhausted

Other than giving a 1.5 hour talk and then a tour to prospective students and parents (senior high school students interested in biology), I worked like a very diligent worker bee from morning to now on class preparation materials.  Even though I have taught all these classes before, the two sticking points are 1) in one of my lab classes I am completely revamping their semester long research project, and in another class…. I had last taught this course BEFORE the pandemic…… so I have a helluva lot of work making this entire course appropriately “Covid Friendly” which means I have to develop duplications of all things in a format that students who have Covid can still access during their quarantine and recovery.  

My head feels mushy and unfocused from thought fatigue.  On the drive home I was wanting to have a couple of beers and a few pipes…… like in the olden days when I could go at the end of a laborious week to visit my father-in-law and….. just relax and enjoy his company.  But, that is sadly no more.  

I ran 11 miles this morning starting at 4:50 am.  Only 3 more miles to run to hit this week’s target.

PipeTobacco 

Prince Albert

 

As you are likely well aware, my mind will wander all over the place if I let it.  After I finished my last class today, I sat down for about 20 minutes to drink some iced coffee I had left from this morning and ate my lunch that was left in my lunch bag (I ate some of it before class).  For no particular reason, a memory from several years ago popped into my mind, and entertained me for a while:

I was recalling an auction I had won on eBay that was perhaps 7-8 years ago.  I was perusing pipe and pipe tobacco paraphernalia (back then eBay had a lot more pipe and pipe tobacco related items).  While meandering around the site, I happened to see up for auction an old, but really nice looking, metal can (pouch) that would contain Prince Albert Pipe Tobacco.  Metal tins of this sort were the norm for buying common pipe tobaccos from the earliest parts of the 1900s until the late 1960s when they slowly were phased out in favor of cheaper foil pouches.  Sometime around the late 1960s they began to offer Prince Albert Pipe Tobacco in foil pouches OR in metal tins.  This particular tin I was looking at on eBay was one I estimated to be from the late 1950s due to some of its features.  I liked its design.  So, I bid on it.   And, I won the auction.  

When the tin eventually arrived, it was as pretty as the pictures suggested!  And, the tobacco tax stamp that spread across the top....... shockingly...... looked INTACT.  That really could not be true, I thought.  If it were true, it would mean that the tin was never opened and would contain roughly 55 year old pipe tobacco!  

Over the years, I have purchased a few other of these "antique" tins (for other brands other pipe tobaccos.... Sir Walter Raleigh is a special favorite as well) back then just because I think they are pretty, and I have them on display in my den.

But.... in no way did I ever anticipate, never did I expect,  to bid on and purchase a 55 year old tin.... with its pipe tobacco in it!  I was rather giddy about my find.  Not really sure about what to do..... I ended up hemming and hawing for several days...... Should I try it?!?!?!?  Would it be dangerous??!?!?!  Should I leave it as is and not break the seal?!!?!?! 

I mean, hell.... it was 55 years old!!!!! Who knows what it could be like? People normally do not keep pipe tobacco for a long time, even though in some of the more "esoteric" circles... like in some of the pipe groups I read.... there are a few of the folks there that are a bit "upturned nose" and "aristocratic" acting about all things pipe related.  

Do not get me wrong.... the vast majority of the folks on the pipe groups I read are just regular folk like me.  And in these groups a few have began to "cellar" pipe tobacco (some just want a stockpile to save money, some folks just want some of every pipe tobacco they can find, some are "end-of-the-world" types who stockpile lots of things ahead of what they see as a rather dystopian future).  

But a few of the more "upturned nose folks" who are in this group have started to talk about "cellaring" fancy (read as expensive) pipe tobaccos to "age" them like other "fancy folks" will talk about aging wine.  Truth-be-told, I tend to think aging wine is rather silly and over-rated, as to me most wine tastes pretty much the same to me (red = good wine; white/rose wine = boring wine).  I think aging tobacco (as a rule) is generally silly and a preposterous thing to do.  

But.... for the regular fellow, day-to-day pipe smoker (like I always was and have been).... no one would "cellar" pipe tobaccos.  So, no one would have ever thought to "save" (except by mistake) a tin of pipe tobacco for 55 years before smoking it.  I could  not decide if I should or should not try it out!

But, after perhaps two weeks, I couldn't resist any longer, and I carefully broke the tax stamp seal with the edge of my thumbnail.  I opened it, and surrounding the pipe tobacco was the familiar "wax paper-like" insert that lined the tin it was completely filled with crumbles of beautifully brown leaf. 

The leaf was intact in the normal sized crumbles, but the crumbles were extremely dry (to be expected).  There was no sign of mold or actual decay.  No real pipe tobacco odor was present either (makes sense because it was dry), but no off or off-putting odors were present either.  And, even though the leaf was very dry.... it had not become structurally unsound either (as a biologist, I have seen old, PURPOSEFULLY DRIED samples of leaves of different species that when touched would disintegrate into dust).... when I took a pinch between my finger and thumb, it remained intact.  

So, I deemed it as appearing to be "reasonably safe" and I filled a bowl of one of my smaller-bowled pipes with the crumbles.  But, scientist that I am, I also filled a similar small-bowled pipe with current day Prince Albert as well to do a comparison. 

I was feeling both excited AND a bit nervous about this adventure, so I started by igniting my pipe with the current day Prince Albert in it.  Of course, it was beautiful, tasty, tranquil, and pleasant as it always is.  Then I decided I had to at least give the other pipe a try.  So, I picked up the pipe of the ancient Prince Albert in it, and went through the same precise, innate pattern I use when igniting a pipe.... other than perhaps being just a little bit more tentative, observant, and with just a hint of trepidation.  

The ancient pipe tobacco, because of its dryness, was well lit in the bowl of the pipe more quickly that the more moist, modern pipe tobacco (as would be expected).  Surprisingly, there was little loss of flavor in the ancient pipe tobacco, as it seemed rather similar to the modern variant.  It too was beautiful and tasty.  But, what I was not expecting was that it was NOTICEABLY (pleasantly so) more neuron-ally potent!  It exhibited a strength that reminded me of what it felt like to smoke my pipe when I was a kid.  It was pretty darn wonderful.  

I limited myself to having a bowlful of the ancient Prince Albert to once a season after that.  It was wonderful.  I was able to stretch out the pleasure of that ancient Prince Albert for about three years.  

It was an exciting and fun find and adventure.  I still like looking at the (now empty) tin.  

PipeTobacco         

Sometimes it IS Hard

Sometimes it is SO VERY HARD for me to not get into a state of sadness and despondency about the two people at work that I have a significant challenge with.  It is also sometimes SO VERY HARD to not get despondent and sad about the family member I no longer talk about here.   

What I need to be better able to do is to KEEP FOCUSED on the reality that these two work people have minimal impact on me (other THAN emotionally), and I have to KEEP IN MIND that I cannot force help upon a person who is difficult and unwilling to accept help (the family member I no longer talk about here).

The last two days have been emotionally difficult for me BECAUSE I could not figure out how to stop myself from ruminating about the three individuals mentioned in the above.  As is common when I feel this gloom from either of the above two situations.... it enacts my "Fight-or-Flight" responses and I feel simultaneously the desire to LITERALLY pitch a fit and holler and yell and bellow..... AND also have the desire to run away, and leave everything behind.  OBVIOUSLY neither option is appropriate, nor what I would do.  But.... it is quite tangibly what my body is telling me TO DO when I feel this way.  

Very fortunately.... those feelings have subsided.  I feel my generally happy self again.  I just wish I could RELIABLY figure out a way to transition out of those feelings.  Sometimes RUNNING can help because the physical exertion can help to dissipate the stress hormone surges.  But, it really did not help either yesterday nor today.  Today, the action that DID help me return to generally happy was the actual act of teaching.  I had a full slot today..... 5.5 hours of lecture.... which can be daunting.  But, it helped me today.  I think my seminar class was especially helpful, even though my other classes were good too.   I felt appreciated by my students, and I think that helped me turn around my emotions and have my focus on the three harsh folks revert back to the acceptance that they are what they are.... and my safest choice for my health is the ignoring of them as best as I could.  

*    *    *    *    *

I ran 11 miles (~18 km) this morning.  As I mentioned above, it did not help my emotions, and it was a chore to get through it today.  Hopefully tomorrow I will have been able to maintain my more positive disposition and the run will be more enjoyable.  Even watching/listening to the Capuchin Mass while I ran did not help.... and in fact, I barely remember any of it because my mind would keep wandering back to my feelings of hurt.  

*     *     *     *     *

On the docket for tonight's meal is...... tah dah..... VEGETARIAN CHILI and cornbread! It is a wonderfully deep and richly spiced recipe with a heavy array and variety of beans, including my favorite bean in chili.... the kidney bean.   Even though I am not sure what my wife will have with this meal for herself.... I know I am going to have a heaping bowl of broccoli and cauliflower, an enormous salad as big as my head, and smaller side-dish sized bowl of my chickpea and chard dish. 

PipeTobacco

Polenta & More

 

It had been a long time since I had seen the 1961 film of "West Side Story" and also quite a few years since I had watched the actual musical as a regional play.  I had forgotten some of its harshness, and that in many ways it was/is a more modern version of Romeo & Juliet.  

The Spielberg film of "West Side Story" was QUITE remarkable and dynamic, and the cinematography was exceptional.  It was an utterly captivating film to watch.  All of the actors were extremely adept in their portrayals of their respective characters.  It was a truly excellent film.  I gave the film an "A-" grade.  The less than perfect grade was not due to any of the above reasons I mention in this paragraph.  The slight ding, was due to some inherent aspects of the original story itself.  1)  The choices of Maria near the end (avoid reading if you do not like spoilers) in choosing to continue to love the person who killed her brother..... just felt wrong.  2) The actions of Tony following his crime also just felt wrong.  3) The "musical theater-esque" style of rather THIN character portrayal was transformed in its entirety to this film version.  Nothing inherently wrong with the typical thin, yet over-the-top characterization of characters in musical theater.... but in this very elaborate film, it ended up feeling just a bit "kitchy", and 4) the expected bit of disconnect between the elaborate, often ballet-like choreography with the harshness of the story seemed a BIGGER disconnect than it has in the earlier film and in the theatrical productions I have seen.  Do not get me wrong..... it was a wonderful film.  I think the original STORY and the original THEATRICS are not aging as well as say, a "Fiddler on the Roof" or a "Don Quixote".... at least in my opinion.  But, it was a FILM that I WOULD watch again.  

Ran 11 miles this morning.  Glad the infernal machine is seemingly holding up with my repairs. Last night for dinner, my wife and I made baked polenta squares and covered them with various toppings (mushrooms (me only, my wife abhors fungi), peppers, onions, sauces) and then had salad, broccoli and cauliflower, and I had some of my chickpea & chard side dish as well. 

I am not feeling especially motivated to teach nor do research today.  I think it is in part a weather related phenomena.  I am growing to rather dislike the blustery, harsh, cold Winters of my region in January and February.  I feel like I have to just slog through them as best as I can.  My wife and I are more and more convinced we want to move to a warmer part of the US when we retire.  Or, perhaps we will be "snowbirds" who spend Winters in the South and migrate back North in the Spring?  

No new musings about pipes this morning.  There is just the gnawing desire to return to them.  That is about all on that score.  

PipeTobacco

Movie

 

With today being the Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday, the U is closed.  I have been working from
home.  

The treadmill has been holding up well!  I *DID* force myself to make up the miles on Friday and Saturday so that I *DID* have 55 miles done by the end of Saturday evening, so I was able to take Sunday off from running and also stay on track with my goal.

I ran 12 miles this  morning, and watched the Capuchin Mass from Sunday while doing so.  It was and is always a joy to do so, even though I watch it a day late.  It was nice hearing another Homily about the readings, as I was the Lector at Mass this weekend, and sometimes in my nervousness to read clearly, loudly, and carefully with strong enunciation, I am not paying as strict attention to the merit/intent of what I should be hearing.  So, it was nice hearing the Lector read to me, and of course the Priest's Homily was helpful, focusing on the second reading about the "gifts" we are given, and how our call is to share them.

I am going to be a bit risky today, and  my wife and I are heading to an early afternoon movie.  We will both be wearing our N95s, so we are hoping it will be safe.  And, the early afternoon movies are usually not very busy.  In previous years, pre-Covid, we would sometimes be the only people in the theater.  We are hoping for that luck today.  We picked out a movie we both are excited to see.... but one that is at the tail end of it showing in theaters (also likely to help it not be heavily attended).  We are going to watch Spielberg's version of "West Side Story".  

PipeTobacco

Fingers Crossed

 

It *APPEARS* that I have been able to be successful in getting the damn infernal treadmill machine back into service!!!!

1.  After getting home as early as I could yesterday, I started to work on the beast again.  Lots of drilling of holes through metal support arms, lots of drilling of other anchoring holes, lots of use of bolts, nuts, washers (including lock washers), lots of finagling with wires and sockets to get the electronic "gizmos" reconnected and attached, and lots of finessing and fussing getting plastic shields and other screws and other things to "fit" into the appropriate spaces areas.  But, by around 6:30pm, I had the damn thing together, and decided to turn it on.

2.  It turned on!  But then it said, "Safety Device Not Detected".  I started to grumble under my breath, but I remembered..... oh it is that damn little "Plug In" thing that has a cord attached to it that then attaches to me, so if I fall off the beast, the plug pulls out and the machine stops (theoretically to limit injury to me).  So I rummaged around on my workbench and found the errant little plug-in cord.  I plugged it in........ "Safety Device Not Detected" continued to splay across the screen.  I then began to REALLY grumble, mutter, and cuss under my breath.

3.  Normally, with such a perplexing situation, I would fill a bowl of one of my pipes with some dark brown crumbles of pleasantly potent pipe tobacco, chomp on the stem, and ignite my pipe.  As the lovely nicotine would caress my brain's neurons and the flavors and aromas would stimulate my olfactory and taste receptors, I would ruminate on how to solve the vexing problem.  But, as you unfortunately realize, I have not had the guidance of my pipes in that regard for some time now.  So instead, I slumped in the chair at my workbench, scowled, rubbed my face with my hand, and without the assistance of my pipes, tried to figure out what was the next step.  

4.  I came to the sad (shall I suggest.... agonizing?) conclusion that the only thing I *could* do would be to dismantle roughly 95% of all of my work to gain access to the innards housing the electronic "gizmo" circuitry to attempt to see if I could find out what about the "safety" device's innards were not up to snuff.  

5.  Dismantling took a long time, reopening up the fascia to the "gizmos" had to be done with painstaking patience because the plastic is old and the various clips are a bit brittle (as the machine is roughly 20+ years old) and I did not want to break any so as to create more issues. Finally, I was at the circuit region for the damn safety device.   I had not really paid any heed to it before, but now I had to figure out how the safety device worked internally and at the same time try to figure out why it wasn't working anymore.  Very, very fortunately, it *appeared* that during my unplugging plugs, dismantling wires, and re-plugging in wires and plugs for all the other electronics.... the "safety" circuit device's electronic contacts had rotated a bit (due to a loose screw I had NEVER touched before) so that no contact with the safety key (the "Plug In" thing) could be established.  It was a relatively easy manipulation to rotate these contact bands back into position and to tighten them in place by tightening the loose screw (Hey.... no jokes about me having a "screw loose"!).   

6.  I then went through the machinations of reassembling all the shields, guards, gizmos, and what-not.  Then I reassembled the entirety of the armature of the braces I had made and reinstalled all of it onto the arms of the beast.  I then gingerly turned the beast back on......... and on the electronic screen came the message.... "Safety Device Not Detected" started to flash again........ I cursed audibly, "SH*T!!!!".... but then I remembered.... I had NOT yet put the safety key back into the slot.  So, I scrambled back to the workbench and grabbed the key and inserted it.... and THE NORMAL POWER UP SCREEN APPEARED!!!!!!!!!! 

7.  But... I could not test it out quite then.  Over the multiple days of trying to create this fix, I had realized that all of my drilling, fussing, etc..... might have resulted in the release of a variety of metal and wood fiber shavings being released from all the drilling, filing, and fussing I had been doing...... AND.... if there were any of these within the mechanics of the machine, it could wreck havoc with the function of the motor, the belt and other aspects of the treadmill.  So, even though I wanted to turn it on to see if the belt and everything started as usual..... instead, I went and first brought down the shop vacuum from the garage and vacuumed every nook and cranny I could reach in and around the beast.  I then went and made a pail of warm water with some "Spic-N-Span Cleaner" in it, grabbed an old wash rag, and proceeded to wipe down... not once, but TWICE....  all of the surfaces of the treadmill, hoping to capture any harsh, stray shavings that might be lurking about.  I especially focused on making the rolling tread especially clean as I worried if there any shards of metal on there that they might be fed back into some of the mechanics of the beast, potentially causing failure.  

8.  By this time, it was 8:30pm.  Since I had not ran for either of the last two mornings, I was about 20 miles (~32 km) behind where I would normally be in working to accomplish my weekly goal of 55 miles (~88.5 km).  So, I went upstairs and changed into my running shorts, and went back into the basement.  I started the beast, and when I turned on the belt, it too began to roll in its predictable manner!!!!  So..... I started to run.

9.  I had envisioned trying to run 10 - 12 miles last night (16 - 19 km), but by that time of the evening, I was tuckered out and just did not have that much energy to give.  So, I allowed myself to stop when I reached 6.5 miles (~10.5 km).  I then went upstairs to eat and watch television with my wife.  

10.  I envisioned getting up this morning and pushing like hell to get a lot more miles in, as I was still WAY behind and was worried about hitting the 55 mile (~88.5 km) goal for the week. So, I got up early, and jumped into my shorts, and slipped on my clodhopper sized running shoes and went to the basement.  Again, I envisioned trying to play catch-up on miles.  I was just a few steps past the start of my 5th mile (~8th km) when my wife comes down the stairs...... with a big, burly, bald-headed fellow in gray coveralls (and wearing a mask) behind her!  

"Ugh!" 

My wife had set up an appointment a few weeks ago to have our furnace company do their yearly inspection and testing of our house's heating system.  Not only was I nearly naked (other than running shorts, socks and shoes), but the noise of me running on the machine.... was just too much.  So, I turned off the treadmill, and quickly went upstairs to wash up and get ready to go to the U.   This means I am STILL ~20 miles (~32 km) behind in my weekly goal because today's and yesterday's runs were both prematurely truncated!  I am going to have to force myself to run a lot of miles today, and a lot of miles tomorrow if I have any hope of reaching the weekly goal.  And, truthfully, I do not WANT to run on Sunday, so I am going to try to run additional miles today, and will try to run any remaining miles on Saturday that I need to reach my weekly goal.  

So..... a couple of busy days ahead physically.  BUT..... BUT..... I can at least take a little bit of pride in the fact that I WAS able to repair this beast (still keeping my fingers crossed), and it only took around $20 of materials and a whole helluva lot of elbow grease, and careful thought.   That is about it..... I have to go and run a BUNCH more miles.

PipeTobacco

Damn It.... Too Busy to Think

 

Truth-be-told, the failure of the infernal treadmill could not have happened at a more chaotic time.  When the damn thing broke it was the second day of the start of the semester.  The start of the semester always entails extra long hours with me fussing to get things started appropriately, and it also involves considerably more time than typical in addressing an array of student worries and concerns.  And, added to this normally hectic week is the considerably amped up workload I have due to profoundly successful fornication activities by my rodents.  I had set up some "meet-and-greet" opportunities between some of my younger rodents in hopes a few would become engaged (both "emotionally" and physically) with each other.....and that one or two litters might arrive around this time, but.... apparently my matchmaking skills surpassed even the wild success of the matchmaker in "Fiddler on the Roof" for I now have five litters of pups to measure and assess.... all born within 3 days of each other.  Typically, the births tend to be far more staggered, which gives me and my research students smaller amounts of measuring, testing, and assessing to do on a day-to-day basis.   But, five all at once makes for some long days.  

Normally the long days are fine if they need to occur.  BUT, I get home in the evenings now the last two days and have to ruminate, fuss, and finagle about the damn treadmill.  And, by the evening.... my ability to THINK deeply, carefully, and creatively..... is awfully damn scant.  I get home pretty exhausted, and trying to fuss with fixing the machine is not easy at that time of day.

But..... I now have the wooden brace securely connected between the two arms of the treadmill.  It is secured by a large number of 1/4 inch hex bolts, with sturdy washers and lock washers to increase strength and durability. I debated between using traditional hex nuts or if I should instead use locking hex nuts.  I ended up deciding on using traditional hex nuts with locking washers with the idea that once I get (hopefully..... fingers crossed) the damn beast fully set up and fully functional, I can go back to each nut attached to each bolt and put a dab of "LockTite" on it to further secure it together.   

Since I could not run again this morning (I feel physically lousy too, not running), I drove to the U and arrived at 5:00am, so I could get a lot of work done before lecturing for three hours later this morning.  By arriving early, my hope is that I can vacate the U perhaps by 2pm (if I have all the rodent work done), so I can get home earlier than usual to put a last, all-out effort to FINISH putting this damn treadmill back together.... and praying that it will work again, so I can RUN.  Come hell-or-high water.... I am going to get the damn infernal beast back together in some fashion today to see if it continues to work.  If I can run SOMETIME today, I will be only one day behind.  Being one day behind in my mileage is something I can catch up on with some brute force extra work.

As has been the case all week long.... my pipe cravings are back with a vengeance.....  I would rate my PCS (yes, the cravings are back in such a way that they again merit a score).... as being at an 8.  It is indeed a struggle again to refrain.  I keep thinking of and imagining... throwing in the towel..... and it sounds very inviting and tempting to do so.

PipeTobacco

Fussing & Finagling

 

In some circles, the word finagle suggests "dishonesty".  However, I am not using the term in that manner today in this writing.  Here today, I am using the term "finagle" to be a facet of having to repair, reshape, resize, or renew something that has broken so that it can be once again of use.  In this usage, finagle is the PROCESS of getting the broken pieces to once again be whole or at least of service. Some may say I should use "refurbish" but I would disagree in that "refurbish" is the ACT or ACTIONS of repair, whereas FINAGLING is the process in figuring out HOW to get the broken again whole.   

After visiting the lumber/hardware store.... when I finally arrived home around 6:30pm, I began the process of trying to trying to cobble together some sort of fix for the damnable broken beast that is my treadmill.  My wife was a tad aggravated about my having to spend a lot of the evening working in the basement in this attempted repair... but overall she was very understanding, knowing how I need a place to run in the winter that is safe.  Thus far I have:

• dismantled (slowly and carefully) the myriad of screws, wires, various plastic pieces, etc. from the broken metal arm of the beast, so that if my plan is successful, I may be able to attach this arm to the wooden support I am crafting.
• I have cut and crafted the wooden support and attached the appropriate braces (I hope) to this support.

All of the above does not sound like a helluva lot of progress, but it took damn near 3 hours to accomplish.  By 9:30, I knew I would not finish, so I called it a day, and went upstairs to eat and TRY to relax while watching a bit of television with my wife.    

Fussing and finagling with things is something I have done my whole life.  I have *usually* liked trying to repair, renew, and sometimes even improve or embellish things.  But, I do not really enjoy it so much when there is a looming deadline (the NEED TO RUN) nor when I am in an already extremely busy/hectic time. 

And, I can tell you trying to do this fussing and finagling WITHOUT a pipe is really quite difficult! When I am not stressed, fussing and finagling is something I am pretty good at, and I remember a lot of hours spent at various tasks of this sort (including my instrument rebuilds) where I would patiently, quietly, and contentedly fuss, massage, and get all sorts of pieces of various things to fit back together, or to fit together in a better way, or to repair something, etc..... always with a pipe between my chompers.  I think the pipe helped me to be calm and focused, helped me to be more thoughtful in how to finesse the challenge into some sort of workable solution, and.... of course tasted wonderful, pleasantly massaged my neurons, and felt for me to be such an utterly natural way to be and behave.

Now, I am packing it in for the day at the U.  I have to try to get home as quickly as I can so I can continue to try to get this contraption back up to snuff!  Please wish me well.  I NEED to try to get this done tonight!  I am already 10 miles behind where I SHOULD BE in terms of my running for the week.  If I cannot get it back to functionality, I will have failed in my running effort.  I missed running this morning.  I felt sluggish and tired most of the morning.   

PipeTobacco  

Damn Treadmill Disaster

 

Although the image is not mine, I too have had to place an "Out of Order" sign on my treadmill. It has me worried.

I was running on the damn beast this morning.  I had just reaching 10.6 miles (~17km).... I was aiming to complete 11.1 miles (~18km) for the day.... when...... BAM!!!!!    The top bar (the electronic gizmo holding part that includes the handles, the heart monitor stuff, the electronics to adjust the speed) simply fell off!!!!  Luckily it DID NOT topple onto the the running belt/track where I was running.... but instead hung suspended in mid-air by the wiring of the electronics.  If it had fallen onto the track itself, I probably would have gone tumbling myself and either crashed into a concrete wall, or I would have fallen back - HARD - onto the basement linoleum.  But... the bigger issue is that the treadmill IS NOT USABLE because of this damnable tray breaking off.  That means I have nowhere to run come tomorrow.

Looking at the piece that broke off..... there was even more stressful news.  What had happened is that the top piece was built with a steel tube that had the plastic gizmos attached atop of it in a sort of shield-like arrangement.... but the steel tube had welded on pieces to insert into the long arms of the treadmill that went from the running surface upward to hold the gizmo shield-tray.  If you look at the labeled image below (which is much newer and fancier than the treadmill I have, but it similar in design), the plasticity part with all the gizmos (Where the heart rate sensor, cup holder, and 5" LCD Display, and Safety Key are located on the image below) on it has the steel bar running across the gizmo section (underneath the gizmos).  The METAL WELDS holding the steel bar of the gizmo tray to their point of attaching to the legs is what broke..... the damn metal welds.  So, it is not repairable by any simple means:

 

It was extremely disheartening and frustrating to have this failure. With the snow and ice, I have really no safe options for running at the moment.  I had happened to be at a store around the holidays that sold treadmills.  The more "budget friendly" (I tend to think of this as a sort of "Orwell-speak" if you ask me) treadmill was running for roughly $2,500.  I will not and can not justify spending that amount of money.  When I got this infernal machine roughly a year and a half ago, I had been scouring around for a used one and this fit the bill.  I believe I paid either $175 or $200 for it back then.  And, I only bought it because I needed somewhere to run in the Winter and could not run on the indoor tracks I had access to due to the damnable Covid situation.  But, who knows how the hell long it may be before I can locate another used beast?  

I think I will have to try to figure out some sort of way to jury rig this beast back together.  The only problem is that I do not have a helluva lot of time, especially with this week being the first week of the semester.... with that often meaning I cannot get out of the U until perhaps 6pm or 7pm even if I push as hard as I can to be quick.  There are just too many time consuming, nit-picky things to do this first week.  

I am going to try to stop at Lowes or Home Depot or Menards (the three "big box" lumber & hardware stores in my neck of the woods) on my way home to pick up some supplies:

• 1  2X4 piece of lumber

• 2 heavy-duty metal brackets... "L-shaped"
  

• a huge array of heavy bolts, nuts, washers and locking washers.

I am imagining POSSIBLY being able to create a 2X4 "arm/ledge" between the two downward running legs.  If I drill holes in the legs at positions where there are holes in the metal bracket, I may be able to attach this wooden arm/ledge to the legs and have it span between them.  THEN.... POSSIBLY, if I dismantle all the gizmos and plastic shield materials from the steel bar with the faulty welds, I may then be able to drill holes in the steel bar AND 2x4 to allow me to bolt the steel bar to the 2X4.  IF THAT WORKS, I *might* be able to reattach the gizmos to the bar.

Damn it!  This is not how I want to spend my time today.  I have too, too many damn things to do at work.  I feel tired and exhausted from just THINKING about this plan for repair that MIGHT work, or may simply be an effort in sheer futility.  

Please wish me luck, and keep hoping that I might have success with this.  If I do, then I can run tomorrow.  If not.... I do not know what the hell I will do about running.

You would NOT believe how much I would like to pick up one of my pipes and smoke 3,4, 5 or more bowlsful of heavy, hearty pipe tobacco right now.  I do know that my pipes have always helped me cope with stress.  Do not get me wrong..... my pipes and pipe smoking were more than stress relievers for me.  They were friends in happy times and in harsh times.  But, right NOW, I am feeling the want/desire to have a pipe to sooth me and help to decrease my stress.  Running is the only other activity that has shown a similar level of consistently helping me to feel reduced stress. 

PipeTobacco 

 

Hoarse Horse

 I am a hoarse horse at the moment after lecturing for 4.5 hours straight, but I think my lecture and two labs went well.  They are in smaller rooms, so no microphone use is possible (rooms not equipped), but talking through a double mask (one an N-95) is not easy. 

I finished everything I set out to do today, even in my research too.  And, I have things set to hopefully go smoothly tomorrow.  

We’re having a Chinese chickpea dish tonight with lots of vegetables and other good stuff.  Now time to shower and relax.  I really missed having a pipe as I drove home tonight.  It would have capped off a pretty damn decent day.

PipeTobacco 

Time

 

With each of us having a limited amount of time day-to-day (and hell, in our whole lives for that matter), I felt a need to comment today on an occurrence that causes me to become flummoxed and just a tad irate:

As I spoke of perhaps 2 to 2.5 months ago, I had to submit a bunch of proposals to our "Institutional Review Board" who oversees researchers.  Well, I have been growing rather frustrated at their (always) slow turn-around time to get back with folks.  Technically, it is supposed to be within TWO WEEKS of submission. The reality is that it ALWAYS is considerably longer, because they futz around and are a bunch of micromanaging, obsessive compulsive, bean counter folks who try to justify their existence by being obnoxiously anal retentive.  

Well, I received an e-mail today saying one of my proposals needed "revisions".  I then had as an attachment, a 3 page document from the most anal retentive, obsessive compulsive member of the committee outlining TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS like the following:

• on page 5, line 28, you used the term "et al." to indicate multiple authors after the first author was listed.  However, you typed "et. al." with a period after "et".  This is not correct as the abbreviation is "et al."

• on page 17, paragraph 4,  you have two spaces between the words "mediating" and "phenotypic." There should only be one space between these two words.

Now, it is all well and good to try to fix these VERY MINOR issues.  But, dammit.... it is asinine and preposterous and annoying as hell to hold up approving the proposal for who the hell knows how long for it to be reviewed again..... for idiotic typographical errors.  And, the most annoying aspect of this is that the document is 24 pages in length, and this person was so obsessive that she poured over this document to find those inconsequential TYPOGRAPHICAL ERRORS.  I used "et al." at least 150 times in the document to properly cite other authors, and it appears of these ~150 times I used the term, one time I accidentally added the errant period above, one time I accidentally had the "t" in italics, and another time I had TWO spaces between "et" and "al."  The other 147 times I used "et al." I had it written as expected.  It is a damn TYPOGRAPHICAL ERROR.  I am a human, not a damn machine.

All three pages are this sort of moronic b*llsh*t.  

* * * * *

There are two members on this committee that are anal retentive and obsessive like this.  I am actually on this committee myself, but I need to excuse myself from evaluation of my own proposals.  But, the damn meetings where I am reviewing other's proposals with these two..... the sheer, utter waste of time that happens for us in the committee AND of course for the researchers is enormous. My service on this committee has me ALWAYS reading and commenting on proposals BEFORE the two week deadline occurs, and when I do make comments/requests (relatively infrequent, because most researchers know what they are doing), it is ONLY about the methods of the research.... usually for clarification.... and not damnable typographical errors.     

* * * * * 

Onto other subjects.....

• Trying to get teaching and research things utterly up to snuff before I leave the U today so I can forget about the U and about teaching until Monday.  This may be a "pipe dream" but I am working feverishly to accomplish said.  

• My wife and I ordered a new chair for our "music space" which is a corner/section of our living room near the piano where I plan to do more of my practicing on my various horns and my wife is thinking about picking back up her guitar.  It is a pretty looking chair in a white & multiple shades of gray patterned fabric.  It is what I guess is called an "occasional chair" and it is "armless" (it needed to be so when I practice the saxophones, the bottom of the horn(s) can be slung over to my right side, like is traditional).  It arrived yesterday (Amazon), and I am planning to put the beast together this weekend.  

• My wife has vowed to spend some time each evening this winter with me in our family room, where we will both play/practice guitar.  My wife has decent skill at the guitar (but has not played in perhaps 15 years, so is likely a bit rusty), and I am a sheer novice who can perhaps play three chords that I remember with clumsy, poorly controlled fingers.  But, we have a goal to work together where we can perhaps learn (meaning me) to play duets together..... and perhaps even attempt to sing together.  After spending some time learning some basic chords and some basic strumming patterns, and hopefully some arpeggios.... we will then progress to trying a few Mass songs because they are fairly easy and we are both very comfortable with knowing the melodies and lyrics.  

• I am still on that pendulum ride about my pipes and pipe tobaccos.  A part of me keeps thinking.... why not go back to them?  This side of my psyche keeps remembering the inherent beauty of sanguinely puffing on a pipe, and the flavors, the mental comfort and relaxation, the peacefulness, and the rich quality of the experience.  But another part of me reiterates.... you *said* you were putting them down, and those reasons were also valid.  This side of my psyche reminds me of how I *did* have worries and concerns due to the inherent health risks.  It also has me think if it is appropriate to change from what I said I would do.... for seemingly rather hedonistic reasons, for reasons that also may be somewhat selfish and self-serving.  I worry that perhaps I am being no better than a petulant child if I simply go back to my pipes only because "I want to do so".  

• I have been reading some on the IHU variant of Covid.  It has been first identified in France, but may be of similar origin to Omicron.  It has 40+ mutations compared to the original Covid-19.  Thus far, little is known about its intensity of effect.  WHO is monitoring it, but at this time, no guidance is being issued.  

 PipeTobacco  

Split Pea Soup

 

Taking a brief break from class preparation tasks and research tasks to try to write here a little bit earlier so I am not as tired. I will get back to the work things in a few moments. We are having split pea soup for dinner tonight after I get back from the U, so that should be wonderful.  

I still think the CDC has become corrupt.  It *USED* to be a bastion of science and the public interest.  Now, it is just another in the long line political groups.  It used to be a governmental agency I could be proud of.  The other agency that went through very hard times during the Trump era was the EPA.  I am *hoping* they return to truth and science.  I am not sure where they are at the moment, because the agency itself has been rather  low-key during the last year.  In my mind's eye, I imagine the EPA as a cat that was in a fight with another cat, and that it is now quietly licking its wounds and trying to recover.  I hope this is the reality and that it doesn't become a non-science focused, political b*llsh*t machine.  

Margaret asked me yesterday if a return to my pipes would be happy and joyous or would fill me with guilt.  I unfortunately suspect I would feel both joy and guilt:

1.  I would feel joy at the actions, tastes, flavors, patterns, and fussing that pipe smoking provides and encourages.  

2.  I would feel joy at the gentle relaxation to my mind and the gentle soothing of my neurons that a beautiful bowl of pipe tobacco can provide.

3.  I would feel guilt about going back on my word.

I have been told occasionally by several folks that I have "Catholic Guilt".  I do have to admit I feel guilty about things from time-to-time.  I am not so sure it is really a "Catholic" thing, because I have heard folks mention "Jewish Guilt" as well..... but in general, I think being *open* to feeling guilt about a failing or a shortcoming seems a rather healthy sort of response.  

If I were to pick up one of my pipes here in my back office, and fill and light it, I am sure I would feel both a sense of happiness and a sense of guilt.  Probably I would feel both simultaneously too.  

The next thought though, is what would it *mean* for me to begin again?  Would I just return to the fold and I would feel "all-in"?  Would I *be able to* regain that beautifully nonchalant participation in the hobby?  Or would it be simply bringing back the damnable "Lone Wolf" sense of isolation?  There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.  I am not sure if I went back to my pipes if I would be a happy pipe smoker who just happens to smoke alone, or if I would be a lonely pipe smoker, feeling the loss from having no pipe comrades?  

Two of the nations with the highest rates of pipe smoking these days (it is still a very small percentage even in these countries) are Germany and Poland.  I do have a significant chunk of German ancestry, and I have a kind kindship with Polish culture, and I would not be surprised if some of my ancestors may have Polish or at least on the Polish side of German.  I was looking at a German Pipe shop online the other day, and some of their pipes were beautiful beyond measure, and it was nice seeing all the smiling folks that had their photos taken at the shop.  I have found a Polish pipe shop that is similar, but that was quite a few months ago.  

Well, I had better get back to work.

PipeTobacco

Tuckered Out

Another long day of getting all sorts of electronic minutia prepared for classes.  Lots of electronic things again in case we go “online” for a while, but also a lot of face-to-face stuff because we may do that.  In reality, the electonic stuff takes about 1.5 normal face-to-face work, and face-to-face takes the normal 1.0 work…… so I am attempting to do ~250% of normal effort in order to be prepared.  So.  I am awfully damn tuckered out most days so far this week.  

The CDC & political b*llsh*t is just making this so much harder than it has to be.  My U is being damn wishy-washy too and we are not sure of any changes in plans for the next few weeks…. so I and all of my fellow professors are aggravated and exhausted trying to double prepare.  A few have said “to hell with it” and are just going to “wing it” which, I could technically do too….. but I ended up doing that last semester when I lost my two prep weeks before fall because of the death of my friend.  All semester felt the ripples of chaos from those two weeks of poor preparation efforts due to the grief.  I have to work as hard as I can to avoid that chaos this semester.  

I feel myself creeping closer to just saying “to hell with it” regarding abstaining from my pipes.  Even though I do not have the YEARNINGS for them, I am feeling a lot of stress and find myself simply in a reflexive way absentmindedly reaching for a pipe in my pocket, or leaning back to take a pipe break like had always been my method to reduce stress.  I have NOT smoked my pipes of course….. but I keep wondering if it really matters?  

PipeTobacco 

Clickity Clack

 Just working and working on getting things up to snuff for next week.  

Annoyed at the CDC’s idiotic policy, and they’re now predicting 80,000 US Covid deaths in January.  Their guidance (lack of) is appalling.   We should shut down in January IMO.  

But, it is all just political b*llsh*t.

I do want a pipe quite a bit.

PipeTobacco 

My Mind's Eye

 

I have been trying to keep busy with getting things ready for the start of the new semester.  But, the task is easier said than done at the moment.  My mind has been drifting like a unanchored sailboat..... going wherever the winds guide me.  

Through this effort to stay focused, my mind's eye's primary thoughts and imagery have been:

1.  Food.  I ended up eating my breakfast and lunch all before 9am here at the U.  I feel I could eat a horse.... at least perhaps if it were doused in curry.  

2.  Pipes.  I misplaced one of the pipes I was carrying around last week in my pocket.  It has me feeling edgy.

3.  Bite Guards.  In a similar vein, I realize that I have misplaced one of my bite guards, the one that I typically wear during the day while working in my office at the U.  This too has me feeling edgy.  

As I was running this morning, I was again watching/listening to Mass from the Capuchin Monestary, and I started thinking again about Fr. Keith.  He was the pipe smoking Capuchin who had visited my parish several times during the illness of our priest (others in that long stretch included the wonderful Fr. Dave and Fr. Dan).  But I was thinking of Fr. Keith today, and was thinking I need to write to him again.  

PipeTobacco