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Out of Sorts



I am feeling rather out-of-sorts today. I am not sure why, but the major factors that are likely contributing to it include:

1. I awoke this morning feeling tired and sore. The soreness was in my hip/pelvic region. The way I felt overall was similar to how I have felt when I have either not been able to sleep more than 2-3 hours or how I feel when I have had an instance of insomnia. Yet, to my knowledge, I slept soundly, and fully. And, I slept for 6 hours (at the higher end of my average).

2. My sole purpose in life today is to be a number crunching, data-inputing, parasitic appendage to my computer. It is grade determining time. It is a big bunch of mandatory tedium. I would rather be being all animated and fire-and-brimstone style lecturing in front of the classes rather than number crunching... hence why I wait to do it as long as possible.

3. Even though I am delighted to have a respite from teaching occur at the conclusion of this semester... I also know that part of my general malaise is because I also become a bit stressed about changes in routine. It happens every year at this time as my normal patterns of movement and activity become reshaped and changed for the new season.

[As an aside, I *think* that part of the reason why these changes in routine get my agitated is that I need to consciously *think* about what I am doing, and when, and what I need to do it.... which when I am in a routine, I do not typically need to do. And... this focusing my "thinking energy" on just getting through the day means I have little-to-no time left during the day to drift off into the more "interesting" thoughts I would rather engage in.... basically daydreaming.... sometimes about family, sometimes about research, sometimes about plans and goals, sometimes about more hedonistic pursuits (ie, sex, my pipe, libations, etc), somtimes just imagining stories and ideas. I think the *lack* of time to do this daydreaming gets me keyed up and stressed.]

4. I have some big plans on things I want to accomplish this Summer, but all the number crunching and all the latter part of the Semester events (the banquets, the awards efforts, the final concerts by some of my students, etc) makes my life so much more busy than usual that I feel lost... I feel my plans and aspirations are being shunted to the side as meaningless and unimportant.

So, that is, in an encapsulated form, why I *think* I am out of sorts.

PipeTobacco

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Country music, Old Rock and Roll and Such



This post is brought to you as a result of a comment made by my friend, BBC, to my essay from yesterday. I excerpted a bit of it for the title of my essay:

So, while I can assure you I truly enjoy the wind symphony type music I linked you to yesterday... it is by no means the only type of music I enjoy listening to. Here is a rundown of my other favorites.

Probably following the wind symphony type of music, I next most frequently listen to "old school" rock-and-roll, especially that from about the period of 1962 - 1975. Favorite groups and musicians in that time frame for me include Jethro Tull (Ian Anderson, smoking a pipe, is pictured above), CSN&Y, America, Simon & Garfunkel, Chicago, The Drifters, Peter, Paul & Mary (technically they are not rock, but folk, but I include them here), and the Beatles.

Next on the scale would be "jazz" which is a very diverse genre. Specific subcategories that I enjoy include (in order of preference) Modal Jazz, Cool Jazz, Bebop, and Hard Bop. Jazz artists I especially enjoy include Chet Baker, Dave Brubeck, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, and Art Blakey.

The above three categories (including yesterday's wind symphony group tend to comprise about 90% of what I listen to, musically these days. But I do appreciate other genres as well. I enjoy some country (Willie Nelson is a favorite, but most any sort of country that is not too "caterwallery" (ie. most of Loretta Lynn's discography) is ok with me.). I even like some rock/pop from the 1990's to the present and even will be comfortable with some rap.

PipeTobacco

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Orchestral Music



One of my greatest joys auditorially is to listen to an orchestra. Whether mediocre (like the one I play in) or internationally renowned, there is nothing more pleasing to my ears than exciting, invigorating orchestral music. I generally like most forms of music, but a wind orchestra (this type of orchestra has brass, woodwind, and percussion instruments, but no strings) is my very favorite. If you follow this link, you can hear samples of the type of music I am especially fond of in this genre.

The above image is of one of my favorite brass instruments, the French Horn. Its beauty and grace is so gentle and beautiful to my ears.

PipeTobacco

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Down Turn In Statistics



The typical downturn in the number of folks visiting my site has began as usual at this time of year. I have gone from roughly 200 visits per day to about 50 - 75. I think most of my students account for the change. Many of them enjoy the "inside look" at their furry-faced 'ole prof. Yet, with the semester winding down, they tend to vacate the "scene" until next fall when my numbers shoot back up to around 200.

Well, for those of you who read and ARE still here.... I salute you, and I think I will devote more of my effort to keeping you interested and perhaps even entertained this Summer. How about a game? First person to name the above four wins a prize (to be determined).

PipeTobacco

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So Important, Yet Few Know



The unfortunate effects of pernatal neuroendocrine disruption are noted in this very important article:

Studies Find Effects from Chemicals Once sprayed in Homes and Still Used on Farms

By Janet Raloff for Science News

Children exposed in the womb to substantial levels of neurotoxic pesticides have somewhat lower IQs by the time they enter school than do kids with virtually no exposure. A trio of studies screened women for compounds in blood or urine that mark exposure to organophosphate pesticides such as chlorpyrifos, diazinon and malathion.

These bug killers, which can cross the human placenta, work by inhibiting brain-signaling compounds. Although the pesticides’ residential use was phased out in 2000, spraying on farm fields remains legal.

The three new studies began in the late 1990s and followed children through age 7. Pesticide exposures stem from farm work in more than 300 low-income Mexican-American families in California, researchers from the University of California, Berkeley and their colleagues report. In two comparably sized New York City populations, exposures likely trace to bug spraying of homes or eating treated produce.

Among the California families, the average IQ for the 20 percent of children with the highest prenatal organophosphate exposure was 7 points lower compared with the least-exposed group.

A Columbia University study followed low-income black and Hispanic families. Here, each additional 4.6 picrograms of chlorpyrifos per gram of blood in a woman during pregnancy correlated with a drop of 1.4 percent in her youngster’s IQ and 2.8 percent in a measure of the child’s working memory.

Findings from a more diverse group of New York City families recruited by the Mount Sinai School of Medicine point to genetics as a major determinant of risk from pesticide exposure. Children who showed the biggest cognitive impacts tended to have mothers carrying a gene variant for a slow-acting version of the enzyme that breaks down organophosphates. This variant is present in roughly one-third of all Americans, observes study leader Stephanie Engel, now at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.

Another observation from her study: Children exhibited bigger IQ deficits if they came from homes that had been treated with organophosphates while their moms were pregnant — even if the women’s urine at the time wasn’t higher in breakdown products than that of parents whose kids had more normal cognitive scores. Organophosphate breakdown products aren’t toxic, just a putative marker of exposure to the toxic parent pesticide, Engel notes. So the presence of organophosphate breakdown products in mothers of the less-affected kids may reflect the mother’s exposure primarily to breakdown products, not the parent organophosphates.

Findings from all three studies appear online April 21 in Environmental Health Perspectives.

“There was an amazing degree of consistency in the findings across all three studies,” notes Bruce Lanphear of Simon Fraser University in Vancouver. And that’s concerning, he says, because a drop of seven IQ points “is a big deal. In fact, half of seven IQ points would be a big deal, especially when you see this across a population.”

Each IQ-point drop will add up to extra costs in lost earnings over an individual’s lifetime, he says — and even, potentially, to higher education and other costs to deal with behavioral and learning problems that may occur during childhood.

It is shocking and upsetting.

PipeTobacco

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So Pipe

All I can say at the moment is that I am craving having a pipe... and I am actually smoking my pipe here in my office at the moment. It is one of those times where I am facing an impending deadline that is occurring very soon and I am trying to tie up a bunch of loose ends. I am not really feeling stressed out about the deadline. But for whatever reason, working towards the deadline is creating a very strong desire for my tobacco pipes... one that is not satiated fully WITH indulging in the tobacco pipes.

A conundrum.

PipeTobacco

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Bug



Just announced today is the new rendition of the VW "New Beetle". I still refer to it by its name from 1998 (New Beetle) to differentiate it from the original Beetle (~1937 through 1979). The new vehicle is mildly interesting to look at and I am sure it will be enjoyable to drive. But both this generation of the New Beetle and the prior generation of the New Beetle, are really just regular cars chopped, sliced, and dressed up to appear reminiscent of the original Beetle. So, I am on the ambivalent side about the vehicles.



The above is an image of the first generation "New Beetle" from 1998. It quickly became a "chick car".... not a "chick magnet".... but "chick car" which only females wanted to be seen driving. The top image of the new design is meant to lure males back into the fold. Again, I am rather ambivalent about either version. Yet, look at this beauty:



This is not my vehicle, but it sure as hell does look like my bug I drove around back in the day during a significant part of my college schooling. There are so many fond memories associated with that beast:

1. Driving around all over the country with friends and family, feeling free and relaxed and easy-going.

2. Late night drives home from the lab (during graduate school) on a warm summer evening. I can recall the slight humidity in the air, the sunroof open and my being able to look up at the stars. Having a pipe while I drove home, relaxing with a bit of music quietly playing in the background.

3. Thinking of all the crazy ways I could fit more and more things into the silly trunk and storage areas. Groceries were often a challenge, but many things were.



The above is also NOT my vehicle, but as I have alluded to before, I have an old Beetle I acquired as a fixer upper to mess around with. I am not in any sort of hurry, and only play with it when I am of the mood. But, the above image is a bit like how I envision my new beast to look when I eventually get her going sometime in the future.

PipeTobacco

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Feeling Meloncholy




I am trying to dig myself out of a bout of melohcholy, but it is rough going right now. Most everything I think about leads me to the emotional sadness that if I let it take hold can easily turn to despair.

I must struggle on an dig my way out.

PipeTobacco

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NPR



Just a brief note that about the primary news source I currently receive my information about concerning the world. It is National Public Radio, which in addition to the New York Times and my regional newspaper make up 99% of the news and related information that I obtain. I have learned to avoid of the last 10 years or so the cable news services (CNN, Fox News, etc) because of their bombast, and for the last 5 years or so have grown to realize that our local/regional news channels have grown to adopt the "Maury Povich" school of sensationalized "journalism"... which is basically just pure crap.

This happens to be a common time for many NPR stations to seek member sponsorship. If you feel so inclined, consider sponsoring your own local NPR station. I know I have.

PipeTobacco

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Mind of Mush



My mind feels like mush today. I have little ability (interest?) to focus. I have very little linearity of thought. I feel sleepy. I think it must be a mysterious ailment called "Kabine" which is German for "Cabin" as in "Cabin Fever".

The odd thing, though, is that I do not feel like going outside or playing hookey either. I just seem to want to sit.

The dog above is named "Mush" so that is the reason behind my selecting him today.

PipeTobacco

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The Unbroken Seal



Well, Friday did not go quite as I had anticipated. When I left the U, I went over to my elderly in-laws to visit. We did visit and talk. However, my father-in-law was not quite feeling up to snuff, and therefore we did not indulge in any libations.... hence the unbroken seal is the one on the new bottle of whiskey. We did enjoy chatting, and had a few pipes, but the visit was also cut a bit short because my sister-in-law arrived to take them out to a local parish's fish fry.

So, I went home.

Saturday was relatively quiet. Sunday we celebrated my eldest daughter's birthday.
Then late last night we heard the sad news about the death of the mother of a different of my sister-in-laws.

We had a tremendous upsurge in temperatures the last few days.... highs in the 60s on Saturday, the 80s on Sunday, and near 70 today. It is very nice.... but the change has been abrupt, with no time for acclimation. I am hoping to get some yard work done this afternoon and evening.

I chose the image of the seal above, not to really comment one way or the other on seal hunting... I simply thought it was a semi-creative way to offer an alternative image to fit my title since I did not find a nice image of an unopened whiskey bottle.

PipeTobacco

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Crazy Week.... What Now?



The week has been crazy for me. Crazy in such a way that my neurons feel akin to the image above. I am not seeming to find any long term way out of the enormous pile of work that has befallen me, and I seem to be "going" non-stop from the moment I get here to the moment I leave. I know in my heart and mind that this is not right, and it is not how it is supposed to be.

What I need to do is to execute a plan to reign in all the insane, unnecessary, and unproductive paper shuffling b*llsh*t I have fallen into "having" to do, and to get back to what my role is in life (as a professor). I am supposed to:

1. Teach (primarily via oratory lectures) my students with my heart and soul about the knowledge and passion I have about my fields of expertise.

2. Research in my "quest" to discover new knowledge. While that was really a highfalutin way to state it along with a purposeful dash of unnecessary hubris, the reality is... research is fun and enjoyable. It is peaceful to mess around with critters and to devise new things to attempt to learn from them. I very much enjoy being in the lab, working with my rats and mice, and find it soothing. I also really do get awfully damn excited if and when I discover something novel.... especially when I can show statistical relevance.

3. Write and publish my research and research theories/ideas. This is what I really should be focusing on a helluva lot more than I have been of late. But, in some ways, this is an easier avenue of work for me to avoid.... because I can often develop a case of "writer's block"... but that is not exactly what I mean... I really mean more that I can often fall into "stage fright" in terms of my scientific writing. I enjoy writing a great deal, as my almost 8 years on this blog may attest, but when I get into a professional writing mode, I can easily slip into a downward spiral where I can become almost obsessed with minutiae of how I phrase something.... in ways that are very typically unimportant at best.

4. Service to my U and my community (local, regional, and national). Service can and is very rewarding.... BUT B*LLSH*T PAPER PUSHING IS NOT SERVICE NO MATTER HOW MUCH SOME BOZOS THINK IT IS.

So, with that, I am planning and trying to figure out how to implement my goal of severely reducing the b*llsh*t paper-pushing, paperwork nonsense I have emotionally started to drown in, and instead get back to what and who I really am: A teacher, a researcher, a technical writer, and a man of service.

* * * * *

So, I think as soon as I can break free of these paperwork shackles, I am going to try to smooth out and dissipate the crazy patterns in my head with a few gentle libations and pipes with my elderly father-in-law. Perhaps I will ask him for some guidance on ways to keep my work life more in keeping with how it should be. Or maybe we will simply joke around and talk about other things.

PipeTobacco

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So Fed Up! (My "Late Bloomer" Mid-Life Crisis)



I am feeling about as fed up with things as Ben Bernanke is about the economy I suspect, so last night in a fit of passion, bordering on rage, I did:

1. Shaved off my beard and moustache for the first time since I was 19 (that is a helluva long time ago).

2. Took all my pipes out of their various locations around my home, truck, shed, office, lab, wife's car, garage, and anywhere else I could remember storing some, and then proceeded to put them in a pile on the driveway and stomp on all of them. The breaking of the stems and bowls left a messy rubble. I quit!

3. I took the "pledge" to be a damn tee-totalling abstainer.

4. I took a bottle of my wife's hair dye and proceeded to dye my hair so that the top of my head now looks like a matt of dark brown yarn.

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April Fools!

Yes, I know my "joke" may not have been that surprising, and that the transparency of my "actions" were perhaps obvious falsehoods to you my long-time readers and friends. But, it was the best I could come up with in a moment after realizing on the way into work that it was April Fool's Day. I only remembered after listening to a perfectly deadpan story on NPR that was preposterous BUT delivered in a perfectly normal tone.... that I put it all together about what day it was.

I hope you may have gotten at least a glimmer of a smile from my attempt at a joke.

PipeTobacco