Memories.... A Series (#3)

•  
• I was able to sketch out a really interesting plan for my Spring/Summer course yesterday and made some headway into getting some of it ready too.  
• Running was very nice this morning!  Still very rainy.... but no wind.  Rain is much more acceptable.... wind is my nemesis in running.  :)
• I have put in a request to check out a drawing tablet from the U.  This device is basically a mouse but it is in the form of a sensory pad about the size of a typical mouse pad and it has an electronic pen (stylus) that you can use a) as a mouse, but more importantly you can use it b) like a pen to draw on objects on the screen.  It is significantly easier than trying to draw a line on a PowerPoint slide using an actual mouse.  The lines and writing look far more natural and are more precise.  I think this will be a wonderful addition to some of the audio lectures I give over some of the PowerPoint slides.  I tried to draw on slides WITH a mouse... and it looked like crazy chicken scratches most of the time.
• One of my favorite novelists in the "detective" genre, Johnathan Kellerman has a new (to me anyway) novel out and I am thinking I may order it.  

So, I thought today also might be a good day for part 3 in my memories posting:

[Please note, if you have not done so, and would like to start reading at part one of this essay, please scroll down to "Memories.... A Series (#1)".]


*     *     *     *     *

The observation I made of my father when he smoked his pipe made me quite curious. Up and until that point, my father's pipe smoking had always simply been a part of who he was... I never thought much about it, other than finding the aromas reassuring that all was well with the world. I had never given any thought as to why my father indulged in the pipe hobby... again it just seemed a part of him. But to notice the visible sense of relaxation/contentment in my father's face.... the gentle drooping of his mustache, the relaxation in his mouth and chin that quieted the bristling nature of his beard. Additionally, I could see in his eyes and eyelids, even behind his owlish glasses, a perceptible change, a greater sense of serenity, his brows became less furrowed, his forehead relaxed.

Never having noticed this, I found it very curious and interesting. I continued to watch him for the next few weeks when he pulled out one of his pipes and began the ritual of filling the bowl with crumbles and igniting flame and leaf. Each time, the same indicators of calmness and relaxation washed over him and I found it interesting.

After a few weeks of observation, curiosity got the better of me and I began to contemplate trying out one of his pipes myself.

The challenge was... at my young age then.... how?!?

[Another good stopping point for now. Comments or suggestions are always appreciated.]

PipeTobacco

Winds of Time

Today was quite windy with heavy rain during my run.  But, I still did my 6.6 miles.  So, I am glad I did it (but also that today's run is DONE too) :)  I took a shower to warm back up afterwards. 

I have always wondered why some folks dislike the electricity generating windmills like those shown in the image I have posted.  We have several of these relatively nearby and I always find them rather strikingly pretty and a nice addition to the landscape.  From my perspective, I would be very much in favor of having considerably more of them.  They are quiet.  They serve a great purpose, and their austere form is such that I think is actually beautiful in a minimalist sort of way.  I find watching them as they gently rotate to be quite relaxing and peaceful too. 

During this time of Covid-19, I have been especially aware of my Internet friends.  Even though I have been extremely tied to my computer for U work most every day, I have made a consistent effort to at least see if my many Internet friends are seemingly to be doing ok.  I have not been commenting as much as I would like on blogs, but I have been reading a lot of blogs, especially to see if people are still doing all right and posting.  Other Internet friends (not on blogs) are also being regularly checked in upon ( a few forums I visit regularly, and a few other places).  But some Internet friends are not easy to check upon.  There have been 3 different folks on the forums I like that have been MIA for a while and it has been a little worrisome as no one knew of a way to contact them outside of the forums themselves.  Luckily, for two of these folks, there was at least ONE person on the forum who did know an e-mail for for them and we were able to be reassured that they were doing well.... but just tied up with other things during this time.  That was a relief.  One forum friend, though, I and several others are still wondering about.  We are hoping he is doing ok.  He is on one of the music forums I visit.  In terms of my blogging friends, I have been able to see that most all of you are still posting regularly and even if I have not commented lately, I am comforted that you are actively posting.  The one exception is in my friend here who comments fairly regularly.  This friend is Pat.  And, I do wonder if Pat is doing ok because I have no way to contact Pat other than through this blog. 

I am actually able to spend some time today working on getting some aspects of my upcoming Spring/Summer class up to snuff.   It is going to be on-line (of course) due to Covid-19.  But, I am somewhat looking forward to trying out making an on-line course from the ground up this time.... I have learned a lot during this forced electronic period.  And I still think that face-to-face is and always will be FAR superior.  But... with the only option being electronic this Spring/Summer at my U... I am kind of excited to see what I can do.  I am going to try my damndest to make this class a rich academic experience that is both valuable in content and fun and enjoyable in practice. 

I have a wonderfully aromatic pouch of "Rough Arrowhead Mixture" (a regional blend of pipe tobacco) open on my desk this morning. Its aroma is enticing and pleasant.  Even though I would rather be having the full experience of smoking a bowlful of this beautiful leaf, at least having the pleasant pouch odor is nice.

PipeTobacco

Bananna

Not a lot to report here today.  Just a few random thoughts:

• Anvilcloud mentioned his surprise that I *REALLY* like soggy cereal.  It is true, much to the chagrin of my wife.... but, I relish letting my cereal sit in milk for extended periods of time until it is wonderfully soggy.  She is the polar opposite to me... she will not add milk to her cereal until a few nanoseconds before she will consume it.

  

• I am still pushing through with exams and courses and grading.  Electronic teaching means you are almost literally glued to the computer.  

 

• I felt rather slow and uninspired with my running this morning.  I am not sure why.  But, my interest/focus was not there.  But, strangely enough, I still ran my 6.6 miles with a pace of 8:40 a mile which is well in my normal range.  

 

• I have been enjoying re-reading my "Memory" posts.  They bring back to me a tremendous amount of thought and reminiscing of my father.   And the essays also remind me of so many of the finer details of what I so enjoy about pipes and pipe smoking.  The essays also really help me see myself from about 10-12 years ago when I think I first wrote them as well.  

 

• It is going to be in the mid-60s (~ 18 C) here temperature-wise today.  I am not sure if I am ready for such tropical temperatures yet.

• We are making a chickpea and sweet potato crock-pot dish for dinner this evening.  I am looking very forward to the dish and the wonderful Indian spices.   

PipeTobacco

Memories.... A Series (#2)

With the nicer weather, I rousted myself out of bed earlier than typical of late and went running at 5:50am.  It was nice to see the early morning light arise and the sky had beautiful orange hues during most of the run.  While I wait for my morning cereal and blueberries to become pleasantly soggy, and while my instant coffee is warming up to boil in the microwave, this seems a good time to write.  

I am actually all caught up for once in my electronic courses, so I am going to use today to good advantage, I hope, and get my upcoming Summer course (sadly also electronic due to Covid-19) fleshed out a bit to try to be ahead of the game .  But, also, today is a good day for another bit of my "Memories" series...

*     *     *     *     *

Please note, if you have not done so, and wish to read part one of this essay, please scroll down to the first entry where the "Memories... A Series (#1)" essay begins.  Again, please remember that these words reflect my mindset from several years ago when I originally put them to paper.  They were my views, but are not wholly reflective of me today, although they show both the memory and now also a memory of sorts of how I wrote several years ago.

As I continued to talk with my father about my school day, I also continued to more acutely watch my father's actions as well. After he had filled the bowl of the pipe with the crumbles of leaf, he (again not diverting his gaze from me or our conversation) used tactile sensation with his fingertip to gently tamp the leaf a bit more firmly into the bowl. He brought the curved black stem of the pipe up to his mouth and gripped it between his heavy and very white teeth. The grip was a gentle and loving one, and I noticed how the heavy hairs of his mustache and beard encircled the stem of the pipe, his mustache cascading over and around the top.

Striking a match, my father brought the flame up to the bowl and began to draw the flame into the leaf, melding the two together and causing thick, rich, grey plumes of smoke to be emitted. Only after the bowl was well-lighted, and after he responded to another one of my statements with a question of his own, did my father slowly draw on the stem of the pipe, and inhaled one of the great plumes of rich smoke deep into his lungs. As he slowly exhaled, I watched and noticed perceptible changes in my father's facial features. His furrowed eyebrows seemed to grow less intense, the bristling of his mustache and beard quieted and seemingly relaxed, and even his eyes seemed to grow softer and more contented. His grin became broader and more gentle.

I found watching this process very interesting as a youngster. I kept trying to figure out what had happened. My father is and always was a kind, attentive man, but there was a perceptible change I could see in his whole demeanor in just the span of perhaps 10-15 seconds, where he became EVEN more himself, and less affected by the work he had been engaged in. His face grew even more kindly and more the father I was used to interacting with.

It was surprising and interesting to see these changes, but what was the cause? To me, this was many years prior to my becoming a scientist well-versed in the scientific method, but even at that young age, I believe I enjoyed and appreciated order and began to look at the situation as systematically and logically as an eight year old could. After bypassing a few other possibilities, I concluded that his pipe must be the likely source.

As you would expect, my father was a venerate pipe smoker,  for decades before I was even a twinkle in he and my mother's eyes. It was always a friendly companion of his, emitting a variety of pleasant aromas. While I was always aware of the site and odor of my father and his pipes, I had never really examined he and his pipe smoking behavior in any depth. It simply seemed to be a hobby or avocation he enjoyed. The reason for his enjoyment was not particular understandable to me, but neither did I think about the issue all that much.

Seeing that change in his expression was interesting, and noteworthy, however.  To me, linking his pipe smoking to his demeanor was the first clue I had about why he enjoyed his pipe. To understand more, I decided to watch him more closely and carefully.

That is what I did for the next couple of weeks.

*     *     *     *     *

Another good stopping point for now. Comments or suggestions are always appreciated.

PipeTobacco

Mass Thoughts

In listening to the televised Mass today, I was most inspired by the following from the second reading:

Conduct yourselves with reverence during the time of your sojourning,
realizing that you were ransomed from your futile conduct.

This passage spoke to me deeply about how I need to really use my time here in quarantine/lock-down wisely.  And, in a bigger picture way, the use of sojourn could also be applied to my whole life.   I should and can work harder to do good things here in life.  I can work to be more helpful, more caring, and more present to those around me. 

I need to try to be more engaged.  Sometimes I feel tired, and sometimes I feel lazy.  Sometimes I am selfish.  Sometimes I am harsh.  I regret these things in me.  I should be able to be a better person.  I know this.  I understand this.  Yet, it is far, far too easy for me to forget these ideas.  Actually, I probably do not forget, but instead ignore these ideas out of selfishness and out of fear and worry.  I need to keep my mind better focused... focused on doing good and on trying to help.

PipeTobacco

45+ Miles

I have now ran a bit more than 45 miles (72+ km) this week.  As I typically do not run on Sunday (I walk that day).... this will be it for the week, I believe.  But.... 45+ miles (72+ km) is not too damn shabby.

PipeTobacco

Friday Thoughts

A few general thoughts permeating my mind today:

• I cannot fathom how any of the tRump base CANNOT now understand how wretched, foolish and horrible their preferred leader is after his dangerous and foolish suggestions that folks should a) use UV radiation inside their body to kill Covid-19 and b) use injections of cleaners and sanitizers to kill Covid-19 viral pathogens inside their body.  The lack of understanding basic science, the lack of comprehending how dangerous and life threatening those ideas are.  But.... I sadly *know* in my heart and mind that none of his rabid base will comprehend how dangerous this is either or if they do... they will not care.  
• I just also read that tRump is refusing any Covid-19 aid for postal workers unless the postal service hikes rates.  This is so obnoxious it is beyond words.  Folks are currently locked into having MOST things they can get be carried by the postal service or UPS or FexEx.  He is just making things more difficult.
• I am really looking forward to at least a few days without snow.  In my region, it appears that beginning on Saturday, we are having at least three days in a row where the low temps will be above freezing and the highs may even inch into the 50s (above 10 C).  
• A routine I am feeling a loss about after these five weeks is my normal foray to travel across the county once a week and stop at the diner my mother and I ate at every week after my father passed away.  After my mother passed away, I kept going once a week for take-out and then would visit the cemetery where my mother, father, and now my father-in-law are buried. This restaurant had a wonderful salad bar and I also always got a turkey sandwich and some soup, just like I did when I would take my mother there.  I hope it will re-open once this Covid-19 situation is resolved.  
• I am also very much missing attending Mass and receiving Communion.  I am very fortunate to be able to watch Mass every Sunday.  But, I so look forward to being able to be back in a physical way.  

I think I will likely have my next part of "Memories" on Monday.  

PipeTobacco

Memories.... A Series (#1)

This morning, after my run (it was still very cold (only 30 degrees F (-1 C)), I was thinking (surprise) about pipes.... and I thought to myself that NOW... after having refrained a bit more than 26 months from smoking my pipes.... if I went back and smoked a bowl or two or five.... that they would now likely feel as magical and strong and robust as it did when I first started as a kid.  That idea is actually captivating for me to think about.

I have decided I will post (at least occasionally over the next several days)  a series of essays I wrote many years ago that involved my first foray into the world of smoking a pipe.  Please keep in mind that the voice in these essays was a voice of a younger me, but I am posting these verbatim so that you can a) read these thoughts if you desire, b) comment on them, and c) to hear my "voice" on the matter from the many, many  years ago when I wrote this.

*     *     *     *     *

There are many days in a man's life that are remarkable and sear themselves into a permanent circuit-board in your mind. They are often called milestones, and a lucky man has many positive milestones. Each time he becomes a new father, his wedding day, the purchase of a home, the first copulatory activity, the first new car, his first time getting drunk, the first day of school, the first home run he has hit, earning his Ph.D., these are but a few of many such milestones I have had the pleasure to experience. They are all wonderful, vivid memories in my mind. The same is true for the memory I am about to share:

The day itself was sunny, yet pleasantly cool and dry. It was perhaps 60 degrees and virtually no humidity marred the texture of the air. The woods had always been a fun and enjoyable playground for me to explore and feel excitement. The woods seemed vast and unadorned by any trappings of any other human. It was, I thought, a virgin forest that only I had explored, and yet it abutted right on the edge of our family's two acre parcel of land... how lucky was that? Suffice it to say, I felt these woods were my own personal space and I relished spending hours looking at various bugs, plants, twigs, salamanders, frogs and other sundry items I could collect, examine, and learn to identify. Yet, this day was to be even more special and amazing in its effect upon me. As I sat in the small clearing in the middle of this forest, I gripped the magical beast and proceeded to...

The start of this adventure could be said to have been a part of me my whole life, perhaps it was genetic? But I only became cognizant of my interest in this adventure roughly 4 weeks prior to this monumental day. This start occurred, as I recall, when I was walking home from school and I met my father sitting on the rickety, old picnic table in the back yard, concentrating very heavily on a stack of papers he was working through.  His brow was furrowed, his eyes squinting through the owlish lenses of his glasses, and his mustache and beard bristled from the intense concentration he was engaged in.

He must have heard my footsteps as I neared the picnic table for he glanced up and beckoned me over to sit at the table across from him. As I sat, I could see more vividly the concentration, tension, and focus his efforts had on his facial expression.

"How was your day, my boy? Tell me what you learned in school today." said my father. He was a very focused man, and I could see I had his rapt attention, but I could also still see the furrowed brow and other facial features that belied how he was intently concentrating on work only moments before.

As I began to talk about and describe my day to my father, he reached over to the side of the stack of papers, and picked up his tobacco pouch and pipe in the nearly innate manner I had seen him do many times before. Using only tactile stimuli from his fingertips, not diverting his gaze from me and the details of my day, he proceeded to gracefully and with skill fill his pipe with the gentle brown crumbles of tobacco leaf that were in his pouch. Even though I had seen this process thousands of times before in my young life, for some reason this day I was more acutely aware and attentive to these actions than I had been before.

*     *     *     *    *

I think I will make a break in the writings here for today.  It sort of sets the tone, I suspect.  My father was a remarkable man in many ways.  He was always working to try to make things better in life.  If he were alive in 2020, he would be 97 years old in November. 

PipeTobacco

Earth Day

Today is the 50th Anniversary of the very first "Earth Day" protest/awareness event/celebration.  I so remember the above photograph from that time. 

"Earth Day" back in 1970 was truly something wonderful and meaningful.  It lead to the development of what WAS one of the most important governmental agencies being established in the United States... the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).  For so many, many years since that time, the EPA became an ever more valuable and stronger voice for the protection of the environment and as an agency that supported strong, valuable, pure and applied scientific research into the study of our environment. 

Unfortunately, the current administration (Trump) has worked very brutally to try to destroy what the EPA has been and what it stood for.  There are so many horrendous ways the EPA has been decimated over the last three years.  For just a glimpse of some of these tragedies, please look at this link from the Environmental Integrity Project.

In nearly 50 years of time, spanning across both Democratic and Republican administrations, the EPA was a voice of science, a voice of reason, and a place that could be trusted to help us find true knowledge about our environment.  Over the last three years, it has been turned upside down in many ways and is being thoroughly destroyed as an institution of knowledge and science. 

PipeTobacco

Tuesday Talk

After running my 1/2 Marathon (13.1 miles, ~21km) yesterday, I felt a little bit sore this morning, so I ended up staying in bed a bit later and did not get onto the trail for my run this morning until 7:45am.  It was also a very cold and blustery morning (32 degrees Fahrenheit (0 Celsius) with 20mph winds (32 kph) ).  But, I did get the run finished for today.  I ran 6.6 miles (10.2km). 

Today's agenda is to try to write another chapter of lecture notes for students in one class, and to record three audio lectures to accompany the chapters of lecture notes I wrote for my other three classes yesterday.  If I stay focused, I should be able to manage all four tasks relatively well.  I also need to try to finalize and double check a few electronic exams I wrote last Friday to make sure I did not make any mistakes before launching them so the students may take these exams later this week. 

The format we have to give electronic exams is unfortunately very "clunky" and does not lend itself to easy development of an exam.  The simplest method unfortunately is to write out the exam in the word processor of your choice, and then to cut and paste each question individually and then to cut and paste each potential foil (potential answer to choose from) individually.  So, basically, after writing out the question, I typically have to then cut-and-paste six times the individual lines of text from that single question into the electronic exam format.  It is doable.... but it does lead to a lot of cramping of my mouse hand. 

I have over the last few days, decided to take a particular pipe of mine each day while I am working and to place it in a holder in front of my monitor so that I can glance more at its beauty while I work.  Today's pipe happens to by a Dr. Grabow freehand that is quite nearly identical to the image I found above.  It is a somewhat larger bowled pipe and it fits very comfortably in the palm of my hand when I hold it.   I also have a pouch of vanilla tinctured burley-virginia mixture that is open so I can have a pleasant room aroma as I work.  Would I like to actually smoke a bowl or two or five today while I work... well, yes... of course I would.  But, at least I get to admire the pipes beauty and smell some beautiful smells while I work.  I think I will also put some early Miles Davis on in the background. 

PipeTobacco

1/2 Marathon Length Run

Hmm.... I had written a post here this morning... but it seems like I must have forgotten to hit publish and lost it.  Oh well.... here is a brief recap (brief because I have been at the computer all day for my students).

I am very happy to report that I ran my April 1/2 Marathon distance this morning!  I got up and on the trail determined to try to do it this morning because it is already the 20th and I needed to do one run of this length in April.... and because there was very little wind.  Running into the wind is not my favorite task, so it seemed like a great day to try to accomplish this.  I started my run at 6:15am.  I ran my 13.1 miles (just a little over 21 km) in two hours and one minute.  I had my fastest 1/2 marathon pace ever!  It was an ~9:15 pace for each mile (if I converted right that is an ~ 5:42 /km pace).... nothing amazing really, but not too damn shabby for an old duffer!!!!!

It feels very nice to have it finished for April!!!

PipeTobacco

Mass & Divine Mercy Sunday

We watched and participated in Mass that was streamed at 10am.  And then we also had a special hour of prayer streamed at 3pm from the Diocese for Divine Mercy Sunday.

I wish I was more accepting in life, but I am more like Thomas.  I doubt, I fear, I worry.  I listen, but I am afraid I do not always hear.  I need to be a better person.  I believe I am capable of being better.  I need to be more diligent and more focused.

PipeTobacco

Outdoor Work

I mowed 1/2 of the lawn today.  Really only 1/4 is actually growing appreciably (where our dog does her “business”).  But I did 1/2 so that it would look even.  The other half has no growth yet to speak of.... but that is pretty normal here.  We still had frost and snow several mornings last week.  I also spent the nice day outside cutting down into several sections a County tree that fell and rested on the fence that bordered the back yard.  Normally the County would have taken care of that by now because it was County property.  But, with the Covid-19 situation that is all on hold.  The only reason I decided to cut the tree myself was that I would need to do it eventually as most of the tree was covering a good 25sq ft of the yard and it would be impossible to mow the lawn when that area of grass started to grow.  The trunk of the tree was about 1 ft in diameter (~30cm), so it was not a huge tree but it did have a lot of branches, and it was causing the fence to start to sag as well.  Unfortunately, in a fit of getting rid of clutter about 5-6 years ago, I gave my 35 year old chain saw to a nephew and had to saw the tree into several chunks by hand.  I will take two aspirin tonight when I go to bed.  The chainsaw was my father’s before I inherited it when he died.  He had only used it once, and truth be told in all the years I had it, I too had only used it once.

PipeTobacco

Long, Long Day at the Computer

I am too bushed to add more.

PipeTobacco

Random Thoughts

Just a bunch of thoughts that move into and out of my mind this morning.  Overall, I am feeling surprisingly "outside of myself" emotionally.  I do not feel worry or panic.  I do not feel joy.  I just kind of feel "here" for better or worse:

• I wonder how soon a potential vaccine for Covid-19 will be available.  
• I was able to get the lawn mower started and have trimmed one area that tends to grow earlier than the rest of the yard (the area where my friendly dog does her business).  Even though I always do what is suggested to put the lawn mower away for the winter so that it should start well come spring (run out the gas, put some stabilizer in the tank  and lines, etc), every spring it is still a struggle to get the gas flowing to the engine again.  I know it is a small needle-like feed in the gas line to the carburetor that is the culprit, but no matter how carefully I put it away in the Winter, it sometimes is damn near impossible to get it started.
• Plugging away at electronic teaching has made me wonder if I might want to try to get hired by some on-line U after I eventually retire someday.  I wonder how much they typically pay.  I presume it is close to peanuts as far as income, but in retirement it could be helpful.
• I look at all my beautiful pipes every day while I am working on the computer at home.  They sure are damn beautiful.  I have opened a few pouches of pipe tobacco too, just for the beautiful aroma.  I still feel tempted to smoke a bowl or two or a hundred pretty much every day.  
• I have grown rather fond of my instant coffee every morning.  I think I mentioned how we do not have a coffee pot because I am the only coffee drinker at home, and I had always sufficed with free work coffee or coffee from Starbucks or 7-11 since I would typically pass by several nearly every day.  We had instant coffee on hand because sometimes (only rarely actually) a guest would really want coffee over some other beverage we had available.  
• We have still been getting snow the last several days.  But, the snow, while it does cover the ground, will melt by about 2-3 pm in the afternoon.  I guess it is sort of like a refreshing, icy-cold Slurpee for the lawn.  
• I have taken to running a 1/4 marathon each day for the last three weeks.  "Quarter Marathon" sounds pretty damn impressive, doesn't it?  :)  But, really it is only 6.6 miles (10.6 km), so it is not much more than the usual 6.2 (10km) I have been running for several weeks, and in truth not that much more than the 5 miles (8 km) I have been running each day for a few years.  But... "QUARTER MARATHON" just *SOUNDS* better.  :) 
• I am thinking I am pretty close to having an established routine now with teaching so I can better plan my day and still have time for other pursuits.  It has taken a few weeks where I have typically been on the computer all day often till 6pm or later each night figuring things out.  But I think I am getting to a point where I will start to have a bit freedom and flexibility in the afternoons after this week so I can do something more "hobby" oriented.  I am contemplating tearing down one of the musical instruments I bought a while ago to refurbish and try to make beautiful again.  

PipeTobacco

Electronics

I am very fortunate to be able to do my U work on-line.  I am thankful for that.  There are many folks who have no on-line option for their work during this time.

Yet, I must also say that on-line work is hard for a traditional professor/teacher.  It is difficult for the following reasons:

1.  A big part of the "energy" I get from being a professor is the actual "face-to-face" communication.

2.  Subtle detail and nuance is NOT a forte of electronic delivery of content.

3.  Computerized versions of most concepts is much more labor-intensive to SET UP, and to PREPARE for student's use.

4.  Grading of work and exams electronically is TREMENDOUSLY more laborious than other grading methods.

5.  While I work very diligently to get this new electronic content up to snuff... meaning I am building much of it from the ground up to TRY to be as rigorous, as insightful, as thought provoking, and as successful of a guide for getting students to think and reason about biology deeply..... I am NOT convinced that this electronic delivery IS as strong as face-to-face. 

I do have to keep trying to make my courses as good for the students as I can.  I keep worrying that I am falling far short of what I want them to have... and falling short of what I *could* provide for them face-to-face.  I want them to feel engaged. I want them to feel inspired. I want them to think and know things deeply.  But I fear that electronic delivery feels cold and sterile, and I fear that it may be only providing basic memorization/regurgitation of content even though I am trying to not have it be so. 

PipeTobacco

Almost Like Having A VCR in My Mind

It took me a while to become cognizant of it but I was thinking about how EASY it has been during the last several weeks to FALL asleep at night (as an aside, like many folks, I have been having a few nightmares, which perhaps I will talk about in a few days, but I am wanting here to talk about my FALLING asleep). 

While I never tend to have much in the way of insomnia, I sometimes have needed to have a "coach" of some sort to STOP thinking about plans, tasks, etc.  The "coaches" I have used in the past have been to focus on a single number and repeat it in my mind, or to imagine peering into an image in the microscope or some such thing that is static and mundane to shut of my whirling thoughts.   It has typically been pretty effective.

But, without actually realizing it, I have evolved in some sort of fashion over the last several months to have what I liken to a "VCR Tape" that I simply insert into the VCR of my mind and push "start" these days.  A long time ago some silly folks used to by a VCR tape of a burning fireplace to play on their television if they did not have a fireplace in their home.   I just looked on-line, and here is pretty much the same thing but on YouTube now.  Sort of cheesy, of course. 

But, my own imaginary VCR tape is simply one of me pulling out a favored pipe from my pocket, filling, tamping the tobacco leaf down, and then slowly, methodically igniting flame and leaf and sitting there quietly and contentedly smoking.  There really isn't any background to speak of.  I am just in a relatively non-de script but comfortable chair. I never say anything, nor see anything else.  But, it puts me in such a quiet reprieve immediately as I watch that video in my mind's eye.  I feel comfortable and serene almost immediately, and it seems only a few moments before I am deeply asleep.  The mental video never changes, but it is so perfect to help be become tranquil and easily fall asleep. 

PipeTobacco

Back at Electronica

Just back at the desk, writing and fussing with materials I am converting to electronic formats for my students.  It is labor intensive.  But, I do think I am helping them learn what they need.  Or at least I should say... I am providing them with the guidance, information, details, and insights that they need if they CHOOSE to learn this material. 

I miss interacting with my students face-to-face.  But, I am glad I can do this during this time.  I do wish it were easier to put together though.  I am perhaps getting mouse-itis.  :) 

We have had a helluva lot of wind today.  For much of the afternoon it has been blustery with winds in the 25-30 mph range ( ~40-50 kph).  I am so very glad I looked up the weather conditions last evening for today.  I ran my 6.6 miles this morning at 6:30am when it was a more bearable 5-10 mph wind (8-15 kph).  It was raining cats and dogs during the whole run, but it was a damn site better than running into a dry 25-30 mph wind, in my opinion.  :)

PipeTobacco

Happy Easter Everyone

Wishing all of you a wonderful day, and for those of you who celebrate the Easter Holiday, I wish you a very pleasant Easter as well.

PipeTobacco

Quiet

For the most part, just trying to be quiet and contemplative during these days before Easter.  Having taken yesterday, today, and tomorrow away from the computer (for the most part) and fully away from computer teaching.  We had matzo ball soup for dinner.  Always a favorite.

PipeTobacco

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday.

PipeTobacco

The Frustration

It so frustrates me and saddens me, how the current U.S. President is so anti-science. 

This idea has been known since before his election.

But, the amount of hyperbole, misinformation, and miscommunication he relays about science is especially heinous currently during the Covid-19 World Pandemic.  If he is viewing our struggle globally as a "war effort", I think his part in this mess would correctly have him acquire the moniker of a "war criminal".

PipeTobacco

Did You Ever Notice?

I am sure that virtually none of you may have noticed the similarity in shapes between full bent tobacco pipes, bass clarinets, and tenor saxophones.  But, as all three are favorites of mine, I can assure you that I have been aware of their similarities most of my life.  I found it rather humorous (or perhaps logical?) that I gravitated to all three.  

I also remember when I first saw the album cover of the Eric Dolphy Quartet's Copenhagen Concerts when I was a teenager looking in a record store.  I had already noticed the similarity between the two instruments and a pipe prior to seeing Dolphy's album cover, but I found it very cool that he made reference to it as well.  He was both a jazz tenor saxaphonist and a jazz bass clarinetist.  You can see one of his performances here. The performance is NOT from the above album, but is a more standard song (Take the A Train) when he was playing with Charles Mingus.  His solo comes in around the 4:30 mark. 

PipeTobacco

Milkshake

I do not always remember dreams particularly well.  I think my best ability to remember dreams is when they occur or are occurring close to when I wake up.  Well, last night (this morning?) I had a rather short, but vivid dream.  In my dream, I was perhaps in my 30s, at least it seemed so given the age of my kids.  My wife was in her 30s as well,  but it was in a time period that felt more like the 1950s or early 1960s.  It felt we were living in a large, urban city.  I was me of course, but I was not a college professor.  Instead, I had two jobs. 

In one job, I ran an ice cream shop that sold all the various delights that those places have, but I caused some sort of stir in our local neighborhood by first making for myself and then as people saw what I made, it because a staple on the menu... of a triple malted, dark chocolate milkshake.  I basically drank them all day when I was working there and they were rich, creamy, and so delightfully malty that they eventually became the signature item on the menu.  In real life, I have never held such a job. 

In the other job, I worked at the neighborhood movie theater, working in the projector room, spooling reels of all sorts of wonderful films.  Now, this is a job I did hold for about a year while I was in graduate school in a small town about 25 minutes outside of the campus itself.  It was a wonderful job that I remember fondly.  Not only did I get to see movies for free, and had my fill of free pop corn and beverages... the job gave me a way to be OUTSIDE of academia for a bit 2-3 times a week.  It felt enriching to me to give me that relief. 

PipeTobacco

Final (Take 2)

I have been working most of the morning on my teaching.  My lecture I am working on is coming along adequately for today.  It is also an exam day for one of my classes, which in this electronic format, makes me a bit tense as I am not sure how the students are doing.  With this format of on-line exams, it is worrisome for me because they cannot ask me questions, and I can imagine it is stressful for them as well.  But, I keep telling myself that even though this is not the way I would like it to be... I would much rather be there with them, guiding them in face-to-face efforts..... that this is best for us all at the moment.

I have been listening to a great deal of jazz this morning as I wanted to be away from the news for a while.  I have been focusing on my favorite era of jazz a great deal, which is primarily jazz from the time period of around 1957 to 1964.  One song that seemed to represent my mood well this morning is  Final (Take 2) by Miles Davis.  It is somber, but quite beautiful. 

I gave myself a "coffee break" from writing my lecture for 15 minutes or so to sit back, and imagine back in that era, my current self, sitting at a side table of a jazz club, watching and listening to Miles and his band play, with a pipe in my hand, and a coffee or a beer, or more likely both sitting on the table before me, enveloped in the artistry of the moment. Even though it was on my imagination, it felt beautiful, and rich, and wonderful.

PipeTobacco 

Palm Sunday Thoughts

It is Palm Sunday.   Although we feel fortunate to be able to watch Mass electronically, it is still not the same as being there.  It is interesting to see our Diocesan Cathedral empty other than the cameraman creating the electronic stream and the Bishop offering Mass for us. 

In today's liturgy the following captured my attention most vividly:

"Morning after morning
he opens my ear that I may hear;
and I have not rebelled,
have not turned back.
I gave my back to those who beat me,
my cheeks to those who plucked my beard;
my face I did not shield
from buffets and spitting."

I wish I could figure out how to be a stronger, wiser, more gentle, and more compassionate person.  I believe in some fashion I have a little bit of some of those properties, but I can also see how clearly I am not really exemplifying any of those properties to the extent that I should.

I hear, but so often I do not retain what I hear to guide me.  It flitters out of my mind like smoke dissipating from a campfire.

PipeTobacco 

Saturday Stuff

I am not sure if my attempted method of briefly mentioning Covid-19 stuff  and then posting about other things is helpful or not.   It feels a bit stilted to me, and I believe I will abandon it.  So, from now on I am going back to my other writing form.... to just write about my thoughts and feelings.   Sometimes it will likely be about Covid-19 stuff.... but perhaps just as often, I will be using this space to try to get away from Covid-19 stuff for a while... a sort of "safe harbor" where it does not have to be about Covid-19.

One of the things I reminisced about for a fair bit yesterday after writing my Christmas cactus post, was about the discussions I had with my wonderful friend, my father-in-law the last few years of his life before he passed away about the two of us growing some of our own pipe tobacco in his garden.  My in-laws lived (my mother-in-law still does) in a fairly rural area and for decades they had a pretty large garden (at one time, it was close to 1/2 an acre, but in the last decade of his life, he kept it down to perhaps ~2,500 square feet (50ft x 50 ft).  Even though I always tried to help out when I could, during the last 10 years or so, I ended up helping more and more frequently.  We would look through various seed catalogs during the winter and he would make his choices. 

The winter a little over a year before he passed away, when his health was still pretty robust, we had both made a commitment to growing a batch of pipe tobacco for us to see how it went.  We looked through the various forms of seed we found (surprisingly, I had not thought it would be available to the home farmer) and identified the two different varieties we both thought sounded the most promising.   Unfortunately, that spring, my father-in-law's health started to experience a decline following an issue with a kidney stone, and we were unable to have his garden that Summer.  And even more horribly, his health continued a slow decline that then resulted in his death the next January. 

I miss my friend. 

PipeTobacco

Friday Musings

Brief Covid-19 Stuff:

I worry about the development of a Covid-19 vaccine.  We have not heard much in any news lately about any progress in this development.  Most vaccines typically take from 12-18 months to be able to approvable for widespread use,  however, I suspect that if a vaccine can be produced quickly, the medical trials may be able to accelerated enough to be safe and also an option in as early as 8-9 months.  But... my biggest worry is that the Covid-19 virus may be mechanistically different in some fashion that will not allow the standard protocols to develop a vaccine successfully.  My fear is that Covid-19 may be a uniquely difficult pathogen to create a vaccine for.  I base this fear mostly on the way in which it currently appears the virus operates.... it causes quite different symptoms in different people.  Some have almost no noticable effect, others have respiratory collapse, and others have even more divergent symptoms.  This is NOT a typical pattern to see.  For most infectious agents, the symptoms induced tend to be fairly linear.  But this pathogen appears more multidimensional in effects and may be therefore more complex to develop a vaccine for. 

Other Stuff:

It has been Sunny yesterday and today.  This has been pleasant as we have had aggressively dense clouds most of this week.   The bright light is enjoyable. 

I am going to force myself to take a complete day away from work on Saturday.  Electronic teaching absorbs so much more time than face-to-face and I still find it a challenge to create a predictable order in my day that allows for work, but also allows balance for other things.... my family, my exercise, efforts to grow my creativity, etc. 

One of the things I damn well plan on accomplishing this weekend is to repot a large Christmas cactus plant that is roughly about 35 years old.  It has grown out of its current accommodations and needs some new "space".   This Christmas cactus was one that an Aunt of mine (one of my Mother's sisters) started for my Mom and Dad from a single leaf clipping of her own plant.  It grew and grew.  When my father passed away, my Aunt moved in with my Mother (my Aunt had become widowed about 2 years earlier) and they both continued to nurture this plant as well as many others.

I inherited the plant when my Mother passed away and have worked diligently to allow it continue to flourish.... even though I do not inherently have a green thumb.  

I am "ok" with plants, just not stellar.  

PipeTobacco 

Run, Run, Run

In this time of Covid-19, I have found that it can be challenging to find a way to move beyond all the sadness and worry and grief inherent in this horrible situation we all find ourselves in.   With this idea in mind, I am thinking that on MOST DAYS, I am going to approach my blog writing in the following fashion:

1.  BRIEF writing on personal aspects of the Covid-19 pandemic.

but, more significantly,

2.  A longer post that is more about other non-Covid-19 thoughts and ideas and happenings personally. 

My reasoning for the above is to NOT negate the Covid-19 situation, because it is horrific and deserves ample attention and ample care.  But, instead, my plan is meant to give at least a little tiny bit of a breather for readers (and for myself) to go outside of Covid-19. 

* * * *

Brief Covid-19:

My wife and I have successfully navigated our first attempt to purchase groceries through the on-line shopping app from our local grocery store.  Like most things electronic, it took some getting used to, and it limited the choices of what our produce looked like (for instance, the bananas we received were of a much older stage than we would typically buy).  But, overall it was very helpful and useful. 

Other Topics:

I have been running quite early again this week.  I have been pushing myself a bit, so that I have already ran 33 miles (53 km) this week (as of today, Thursday).  I am trying to go above the 40 mile (65 km) barrier this week as I think it will help me to grow and become physically stronger and perhaps more healthy.  Running in the morning is much more successful for me and I have faster times. 

I still have hopes of running a half marathon if it is allowable this Summer.  I do not know if society will be able to allow that though.   But, I am trying to work on my running efforts in anticipation that there is at least some glimmer of hope in that possibility. My last effort for running the half marathon's 13.1 miles (21km) felt pretty good for me.  I did not stop at all during the run, and I was able to complete it outside in under 2 hours.  That is what I would really like to be able to maintain and do in an actual official half marathon road race when I am in the midst of actual, real runners.  It is still challenging for me psychologically/emotionally to run when there are real runners in a road race.  My own core image of myself is still my "very hefty, couch-potato" image of how I had been for the majority of my life.  And, that stems from being a chubby kid who was not good at sports growing up. 

PipeTobacco 

Strong, Weak, Foolish... or All Three

Sometimes I do not know how to view myself, or perhaps more precisely, I do not know how I *DO* view myself. 

Am I "strong" because I have gone roughly 25 months now without smoking my pipes and pipe tobaccos? 

Or, am I "weak" because even though I have refrained, I do think VERY OFTEN about my pipes and spend a fair amount of time imagining smoking them... or reminiscing about when I did smoke them?

Or, am I "foolish" any myriad of reasons.... perhaps Covid-19 is going to get me anyway so I should smoke, or perhaps I think too damn much already, or just because about most things in life I am a damn old fool anyway. 

Or is it all three?

PipeTobacco